Chapter 10.—The Fidelity of Memory; The Unsearchable Treasure of Memory; The Powers of a Man’s Understanding Sufficiently Understood by None.

We often assume that we shall retain a thing in our memory; and so thinking, we do not write it down. But afterwards, when we wish to recall it, it refuses to come to mind; and we are then sorry that we thought it would return to memory, or that we did not secure it in writing so as to prevent its escape; and lo, on a sudden, without our seeking it, it occurs to us. Then does it follow that we were not ourselves when we thought this? And that we cease to be the same thing that we were, when we are no longer able to think it? Now how does it happen that I know not how we are abstracted from, and denied to, ourselves; and similarly am ignorant how we are restored and returned to ourselves? As if we are other persons, and elsewhere, when we seek, but fail to find, what we deposited in our memory; and are ourselves incapable of returning to ourselves, as if we were situated somewhere else; but afterwards return again, on finding ourselves out. For where do we make our quest, except in our own selves? And what is it we search for, except our own selves? As if we were not actually at home in our persons, but had gone somewhither. Do you not observe, even with alarm, so deep a mystery? And what is all this but our own nature—not what it has been, but such as it now is? And observe how much more we seek than we comprehend. I have often believed that I could understand a question which had been submitted to me, if I were to bestow thought upon it. Well, I have bestowed the thought, but have not been able to solve the question; and many a time I have not so believed, and yet have been able to determine the point. The powers, then, of my own understanding have not been really known to me; nor, I apprehend, have they been to you either.

10. Saepe nos praesumimus aliquid memoria retenturos, et cum id putamus, non scribimus; nec nobis postea cum volumus venit in mentem, nosque poenitet 0530 credidisse venturum, vel litteris non illigasse ne fugeret; et subito rursus, cum id non quaeramus, occurrit. Numquid nos non eramus, quando id cogitabamus? nec tamen hoc sumus quod fuimus, quando id cogitare non possumus. Quid est ergo, quod nescio quomodo subtrahimur negamurque nobis; itemque nescio quomodo proferimur ad nos, reddimurque nobis? quasi alii simus, et alibi simus, quando quaerimus, nec invenimus quod in memoria nostra posuimus; neque nos ipsi ad nos ipsos veluti alibi positos pervenire possimus, et tunc perveniamus quando invenimus. Ubi enim quaerimus nisi apud nos? et quid quaerimus nisi nos? quasi non simus in nobis, et aliquo recesserimus a nobis. Nonne attendis, et exhorrescis tantam profunditatem? Et quid est hoc aliud quam nostra natura, nec qualis fuit, sed qualis nunc est? Et ecce magis quaeritur, quam comprehenditur. Saepe mihi propositam quaestionem putavi me intellecturum, si inde cogitarem; cogitavi, nec potui: saepe non putavi, et tamen potui. Vires itaque intelligentiae meae non sunt mihi utique cognitae, et credo quia nec tibi.