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After this I was sitting in the open air awaiting the one who would summon me and I was set forth as an unseasonable spectacle to those visiting for the synod. And no little time passed, and drowsiness upon these things and listlessness and the weariness from the journey intensifying the listlessness and the strong heat and those looking at us and pointing us out to one another with their fingers and all such things were so burdensome to me, that the saying of the 1.11 prophet was true of me, that My spirit was listless within me. And when the hour had already advanced toward midday, I was brought in, regretting many things even before the meeting as having provided for myself the cause of that dishonor; and more grievous to me than the insolence coming from my enemies, my own reasoning vexed me, fighting in a way against itself and repenting with hindsight for what it had purposed. 1.12 When therefore the palace was opened for us with difficulty and we were inside the inner chambers, the many were shut out from the entrance, but my deacon entered with me, who supported with his hand my body, exhausted from the fatigue. And I, having greeted him and stood for a little while so that there might be an invitation for me to a seat, since none of these things happened, turning aside to one of the distant benches, I rested, waiting to see if he would utter anything benevolent toward us or at least give a kind nod to us with his eyebrows. But everything was contrary to my hope; for from him there was a nocturnal silence and a tragic dejection and amazement and astonishment and complete speechlessness and a period of time, not in a short interval, drawn out as if in a black night through stillness. And I, with my 1.13 mind frozen by these things, because he did not even wish to share a common utterance, avoiding the encounter through these well-worn phrases, such as "welcome" or "from where have you come?" or "on account of what? of your own accord, or what is the purpose of your presence?" I considered that stillness an image of life in 1.14 Hades. Or rather, I condemn the comparison; for in Hades there is much equality of rights, with no one of those on earth working out the tragedy of life and disturbing that existence; for glory does not go down with men, as the prophet says, but the soul of each, leaving behind what is now pursued by the many, I mean insolence and pride and arrogance, plain and unadorned, it dwells among those below, so that none of the evil things of this world are also among them. 1.15 Nevertheless, to me the present circumstances seemed to be Hades or a lightless prison or some other gloomy place of punishment, as I considered of how many good things we became successors from our fathers and what sort of narratives we will leave behind for those after us. 1.16 But what am I to say of the loving relationship of the fathers toward one another? For it is not at all surprising that men, being of an equally honored nature, wish to have nothing more than one another, but in humility consider one another superior to themselves; but that especially laid hold of my mind, that the master of all creation, the only-begotten Son who is in the bosom of the Father, who was in the beginning, who exists in the form of God, who upholds all things by the word of his power, not only in this did he humble himself, in visiting human nature through the flesh, but he also receives Judas his own betrayer approaching his own mouth with a kiss and having entered the house of Simon the leper he rebukes the not being kissed by him as inhuman; but I was not even counted as a leper. 1.17 The who to the whom? I cannot find the difference; the one having come down from where, to the one lying where? if at least one looks at the things of this world. For if one were to examine the things of the flesh, perhaps it is this much inoffensive to say, that the noble and free is of equal honor in both cases; 1.18 but if one should seek the true freedom and nobility of the soul, both are equally slaves of sin, we both equally need the one who takes away sins. Another is the one who redeemed us from death and sins by his own blood, who also bought us

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Μετὰ τοῦτο ἐγὼ μὲν ἐκαθήμην κατὰ τὸ ὕπαιθρον ἀναμένων τὸν εἰσκαλοῦντα καὶ προεκείμην ἄκαιρον θέαμα τοῖς ἐπιδημοῦσι κατὰ τὴν σύνοδον. καὶ χρόνος διεγένετο οὐκ ὀλίγος, καὶ νυσταγμὸς ἐπὶ τούτοις καὶ ἀκη δία καὶ ὁ ἐκ τῆς ὁδοῦ κόπος ἐπιτείνων τὴν ἀκηδίαν καὶ τὸ θάλπος ἰσχυρὸν καὶ οἱ πρὸς ἡμᾶς ἀποβλέποντες καὶ ἀλλήλοις διὰ τῶν δακτύλων ὑποδεικνύοντες καὶ ἅπαντα τὰ τοιαῦτα οὕτω μοι βαρέα ἦν, ὡς ἀληθεύειν ἐπ' ἐμοῦ τὸ 1.11 τοῦ προφήτου ὅτι Ἠκηδίασεν ἐπ' ἐμὲ τὸ πνεῦμά μου. καὶ πρὸς μεσημβρίαν ἤδη προελθούσης τῆς ὥρας εἰσηνέχθην, πολλὰ μεταμεληθεὶς καὶ πρὸ τῆς συντυχίας ὡς ἐμαυτῷ τῆς ἀτιμίας ἐκείνης παρασχὼν τὴν αἰτίαν· καὶ χαλεπώτερον τῆς παρὰ τῶν ἐχθρῶν μοι γινομένης ὕβρεως ὁ ἐμός με λογισμὸς ἠνία, μαχόμενος τρόπον τινὰ πρὸς ἑαυτὸν καὶ μεταγινώσκων ἐν ὑστεροβουλίᾳ ὑπὲρ ὧν προέθετο. 1.12 Ὡς δ' οὖν μόλις ἠνοίγη ἡμῖν τὰ ἀνάκτορα καὶ τῶν ἀδύ των ἐντὸς ἐγενόμεθα, οἱ μὲν πολλοὶ ἀπεκλείσθησαν τῆς εἰσόδου, ὁ δὲ ἐμὸς συνεισῆλθε διάκονος, ὃς τῇ χειρὶ τὸ σῶμα ὑπήρειδεν πεπονηκὸς ἐκ τοῦ κόπου. ἐγὼ δὲ προσει πὼν αὐτὸν καὶ ἐπ' ὀλίγον σταθεὶς ὥστε μοι γενέσθαι προ τροπὴν εἰς καθέδραν, ὡς οὐδὲν τούτων ἐγίνετο, ἐπί τινος τῶν πόρρωθεν βάθρων διατραπεὶς ἀνεπαυσάμην, ἀναμένων εἰ ἄρα τι φθέγξαιτο πρὸς ἡμᾶς εὐμενὲς ἤ τι φιλάνθρωπον ταῖς γοῦν ὀφρύσιν ἡμῖν ἐπινεύσειεν. ἀλλ' ἀπ' ἐναντίας τῇ ἐλπίδι τὰ πάντα· σιωπὴ γὰρ ἦν τὸ ἀπὸ τούτου νυκτερινὴ καὶ κατήφεια τραγικὴ καὶ θάμβος καὶ ἔκπληξις καὶ παντε λὴς ἀφωνία καὶ χρόνος οὐκ ἐν μικρῷ διαστήματι καθάπερ 1.13 ἐν μελαίνῃ νυκτὶ δι' ἡσυχίας παρατεινόμενος. ἐγὼ δὲ τού τοις ἐναποπαγεὶς τὴν διάνοιαν διὰ τὸ μηδὲ τῆς κοινῆς αὐτὸν θελῆσαι μεταδοῦναι φωνῆς διὰ τῶν κατημαξευμένων τούτων τὴν συντυχίαν ἀφοσιούμενον, οἷον τοῦ εὖ ἥκεις ἢ τοῦ πόθεν ἥκεις; ἢ ὑπὲρ τίνος; αὐτόματος, ἢ τίς ἡ τῆς παρουσίας σπουδή; τὴν ἡσυχίαν ἐκείνην τῆς ἐν ᾅδου δια 1.14 γωγῆς ἐποιούμην εἰκόνα. μᾶλλον δὲ καταγινώσκω τοῦ ὑποδείγματος· ἐν ᾅδου γὰρ ἰσονομία πολλή, μηδενὸς τῶν ὑπὲρ γῆς τὴν περὶ τὸν βίον τραγῳδίαν ἐργαζομένων κἀ κείνην τὴν διαγωγὴν διοχλοῦντος· οὐ γὰρ συγκαταβαίνει, καθά φησιν ὁ προφήτης, τοῖς ἀνθρώποις ἡ δόξα, ἀλλὰ καταλιποῦσα ἡ ἑκάστου ψυχὴ τὰ νῦν σπουδαζόμενα τοῖς πολλοῖς, ὕβριν λέγω καὶ ὑπερηφανίαν καὶ τῦφον, λιτή τις καὶ ἀκατάσκευος ἐπιχωριάζει τοῖς κάτω, ὡς μηδὲν τῶν 1.15 τῇδε μοχθηρῶν καὶ παρ' ἐκείνοις εἶναι. πλὴν ἀλλ' ἐμοὶ ᾅδης ἢ δεσμωτήριον ἀφεγγὲς ἢ ἄλλο τι σκυθρωπὸν κολα στήριον ἐδόκει τὰ παρόντα εἶναι, λογιζομένῳ ὅσων ἀγαθῶν ἐγενόμεθα παρὰ τῶν πατέρων ἡμῶν διάδοχοι καὶ οἷα διη 1.16 γήματα τοῖς μεθ' ἡμᾶς καταλείψομεν. τί δὲ λέγω τῶν πατέρων τὴν πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἀγαπητικὴν σχέσιν; θαυμαστὸν γὰρ οὐδὲν ἀνθρώπους ὄντας ἐν ὁμοτίμῳ τῇ φύσει μηδὲν ἐθέλειν πλέον ἀλλήλων ἔχειν, ἀλλὰ τῇ ταπεινοφροσύνῃ ἀλλήλους ἡγεῖσθαι ἑαυτῶν ὑπερέχειν· ἀλλ' ἐκεῖνο μάλιστά μου τῆς διανοίας καθήπτετο, ὅτι ὁ πάσης κτίσεως δεσπότης, ὁ μονογενὴς υἱὸς ὁ ὢν ἐν τοῖς κόλποις τοῦ πατρός, ὁ ἐν ἀρχῇ ὤν, ὁ ἐν μορφῇ θεοῦ ὑπάρχων, ὁ τὰ σύμπαντα φέρων τῷ ῥήματι τῆς δυνάμεως αὐτοῦ, οὐκ ἐν τούτῳ μόνον ἐτα πείνωσεν ἑαυτόν, ἐν τῷ διὰ σαρκὸς ἐπιδημῆσαι τῇ ἀν θρωπίνῃ φύσει, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὸν προδότην ἑαυτοῦ Ἰούδαν τῷ ἰδίῳ στόματι διὰ φιλήματος προσεγγίζοντα δέχεται καὶ εἰσελθὼν εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν Σίμωνος τοῦ λεπροῦ τὸ μὴ φιλη θῆναι παρ' αὐτοῦ ὡς ἀφιλάνθρωπον ὀνειδίζει· ἐγὼ δὲ 1.17 οὐδὲ ἀντὶ λεπροῦ ἐλογίσθην. τῷ τίνι ὁ τίς; τὴν διαφο ρὰν εὑρεῖν οὐκ ἔχω· τῷ πόθεν καταβεβηκότι ὁ ποῦ κεί μενος; εἴ γε τὰ τοῦ κόσμου βλέπει τις τούτου. εἰ μὲν γὰρ τὰ τῆς σαρκὸς ἐξετάζοι τις, τοσοῦτον ἴσως ἀνεπαχθές ἐστι λέγειν, ὅτι ὁμότιμον ἐπ' ἀμφοτέρων τὸ εὐγενὲς καὶ ἐλεύ 1.18 θερον· εἰ δὲ τὴν ἀληθῆ τις ἐπιζητοίη τῆς ψυχῆς ἐλευθε ρίαν τε καὶ εὐγένειαν, ἐπ' ἴσης δοῦλοι τῆς ἁμαρτίας ἀμ φότεροι, ἐπ' ἴσης τοῦ αἴροντος τὰς ἁμαρτίας δεόμεθα. ἄλλος ἐστὶν ὁ τῷ ἰδίῳ αἵματι τοῦ θανάτου καὶ τῶν ἁμαρτιῶν ἡμᾶς λυτρωσάμενος, ὃς καὶ ἐξηγόρασεν ἡμᾶς