John Chrysostom, Second Speech

and what unrighteousness shall be reckoned? If it is appointed to give an account even for an idle word, for so many sins, what plausible defense will I have? Woe to me, O soul! that our affairs have come to this. Life is short and beset with trouble, passing by swiftly and leading to death; eternal is the punishment of sinners, just as is the kingdom of the righteous, and the life of both is not cut short by death. What then shall I do? what shall I accomplish? into what chaos shall I cast myself? For death is terrible, and especially for sinners, since it is also evil; For the death of sinners is evil; and terrible are the terrors after death, and much more terrible is it to fall into the hands of the living God, from which there is no one who can deliver. When, therefore, he comes to be glorified in his saints, and to render to each according to his works; 63.925 when thrones are set, and the incorruptible, terrible Judge will be seated, and the river of fire drawing before him, and the brightness and the joy of the righteous prepared, and all the myriads of angels, and all the people from the beginning of time, and all creation together, both visible and invisible, stands by trembling; what shall I do then, filled with shame, condemned by my conscience, deprived of all confidence and defense? Groans from every side. Woe to me for my evils! what shall I lament first? what shall I groan for second? what shall I bewail? The deprivation of good things, or the pain of sorrows? The endlessness of the punishment, or the separation from God? Weep, wretched soul, considering these things, and what things will meet you after your departure, as they are exceedingly burdensome and painful, and cry out: O God of hosts, the eternal God, the God of mercy and compassion, do not forsake me, do not overlook me, do not take your mercy from me; Attend to my help, O Lord of my salvation.

For though I am in this state and think this way, I do not give up on good hope, nor do I despair of my salvation. For I know the compassion of my Master, I know the forbearance of the Lover of mankind, and that He is a willer of mercy, not willing the death of the sinner, but that he should turn and live, and willing that all be saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth, and especially those who turn from sin. For you came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. For those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Now I have begun to speak to my Lord; and I am earth and ashes, a worm and not a man, the reproach of men and despised by the people. Give me speech in the opening of my mouth, you who give prayer to the one who prays, for from you Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from you, the Father of lights; that I may both pray worthily and supplicate beneficially.

May I not be turned away humbled and ashamed, but having obtained what I hoped for; and so I will depart rejoicing in the fullness of my heart. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your great mercy, for in you my soul has trusted; have mercy on me, Lord, for I am weak, O physician of souls and bodies. As one standing before your terrible judgment seat, as one touching your immaculate feet, so I beseech and pray and implore with a contrite and humbled heart: Be merciful to me, a sinner, forgive me, the unprofitable and lowly one, look down from your holy habitation upon my misery, look down from your holy heights upon the prayer of your humble servant, and do not disregard my supplication; grant me relief, that I may be refreshed, before I depart, from whence I shall not return again. As a man I have sinned, as God forgive; for you know, Master, the frailty of human nature, and that the mind of man is diligently set on evil things from his youth. Remember that we are dust; remember that you alone are pure and spotless and undefiled, but we are all under penance; remember those from the beginning of time

καὶ ἀδικία τί λογισθήσεται; Εἰ καὶ ὑπὲρ ἀργοῦ λόγου ἀπολογήσασθαι πρόκειται, ὑπὲρ τοσούτων ἐγὼ ἁμαρτημάτων τίνα εὐπρόσωπον ἕξω τὴν ἀπολογίαν; Οἵμοι ψυχή! ὅτι οὕτω τὰ καθ' ἡμᾶς προεχώρησε. Βραχὺς ὁ βίος καὶ εὐπερίστατος, ὀξέως παροδεύων καὶ πρὸς τὸν θάνατον παραπέμπων· αἰωνία τῶν ἀμαρτωλῶν ἡ τιμωρία, ὥσπερ καὶ ἡ τῶν δικαίων βασιλεία, καὶ ζωὴ ἀμφοτέρων μὴ κοπτομένη θανάτῳ. Τί οὖν ποιήσω; τί διαπράξωμαι; εἰς ποῖον χάος ἐμαυτὸν ἀκοντίσω; Φοβερὸς γὰρ καὶ ὁ θάνατος, καὶ μάλιστα τῶν ἁμαρτωλῶν, ἐπεὶ καὶ πονηρός· Θάνατος γὰρ ἁμαρτωλῶν πονηρός· φοβερὰ δὲ καὶ τὰ μετὰ θάνατον δείματα, φοβερώτερον δὲ πολλῷ μᾶλλον τὸ ἐμπεσεῖν εἰς χεῖρας Θεοῦ ζῶντος, ἐξ ὧν οὐκ ἔστιν ὁ ἐξελέσθαι δυνάμενος. Ὅταν οὖν ἔλθῃ ἐνδοξασθῆναι ἐν τοῖς ἁγίοις αὐτοῦ, καὶ ἀποδοῦναι ἐκάστῳ κατὰ τὰ ἔργα αὐτοῦ· 63.925 ὅταν θρόνοι τεθῶσι, καὶ ὁ ἀδέκαστος Κριτὴς φοβερὸς καμεῖται, καὶ ὁ ποταμὸς τοῦ πυρὸς ἕλκων ἔμπροσθεν, καὶ ἡ λαμπρότης καὶ ἡ χαρὰ τῶν δικαίων ἡτοιμασμένη, καὶ πᾶσαι αἱ τῶν ἀγγέλων μυριάδες, καὶ πάντες οἱ ἀπ' αἰῶνος ἄνθρωποι, καὶ πᾶσα ὁμοῦ ἡ κτίσις, ἥ τε ὁρωμένη καὶ ἡ νοουμένη ὑπότρομος παρίσταται· τί ἐγὼ τότε διαπράξωμαι αἰσχύνης πεπληρωμένος, ὑπὸ τοῦ συνειδότος κατεγνωσμένος, παῤῥησίας πάσης καὶ ἀπολογίας ἐστερημένος; Στεναγμοὶ πάντοθεν. Οἴμοι τῶν κακῶν! τί πρῶτον θρηνήσω; τί δεύτερον στενάξω; τί ἀπολοφύρωμαι; τὴν στέρησιν τῶν ἀγαθῶν, ἢ τὴν ὀδύνην τῶν ἀλγεινῶν; τὸ ἀπέραντον τῆς τιμωρίας, ἢ τὸν ἀπὸ Θεοῦ χωρισμόν; κλαῦσον, ἀθλία ψυχὴ, ἐνθυμουμένη ταῦτα, καὶ ὁποῖα μετὰ τὴν ἔξοδον ἀπαντήσεταί σοι, ὡς λίαν ἐπαχθῆ καὶ ἐπώδυνα, καὶ βόησον· Ὁ Θεὸς τῶν δυνάμεων, ὁ Θεὸς ὁ αἰώνιος, ὁ Θεὸς τοῦ ἐλέους καὶ τῶν οἰκτιρμῶν, μὴ ἐγκαταλίπῃς με, μὴ ὑπερίδῃς με, μὴ ἀποστήσῃς ἀπ' ἐμοῦ τὸ ἔλεός σου· Πρόσχες εἰς τὴν βοήθειάν μου, Κύριε τῆς σωτηρίας μου.

Καὶ γὰρ οὕτως ἔχων καὶ οὕτω διανοούμενος οὐκ ἀπαγορεύω τῆς ἀγαθῆς ἐλπίδος, οὐδὲ ἀπογινώσκω τῆς σωτηρίας μου. Οἶδα γὰρ τοῦ ἐμοῦ ∆εσπότου τὸ εὐσυμπάθητον, οἶδα τοῦ φιλανθρώπου τὸ ἀμνησίκακον, καὶ ὅτι θελητὴς ἐλέους ἐστὶ, μὴ θέλων τὸν θάνατον τοῦ ἁμαρτωλοῦ, ὡς τὸ ἐπιστρέψαι καὶ ζῇν αὐτὸν, θέλων δὲ πάντας σωθῆναι, καὶ εἰς ἐπίγνωσιν ἀληθείας ἐλθεῖν, καὶ μάλιστα τοὺς ἀπὸ ἁμαρτίας ἐπιστρέφοντας. Οὐ γὰρ ἦλθες καλέσαι δικαίους, ἀλλὰ ἁμαρτωλοὺς εἰς μετάνοιαν. Οὐ γὰρ χρείαν ἔχουσιν οἱ ὑγιαίνοντες ἱατροῦ, ἀλλ' οἱ κακῶς ἔχοντες. Νῦν ἠρξάμην λαλῆσαι πρὸς τὸν Κύριόν μου· ἐγὼ δέ εἰμι γῆ καὶ σποδὸς, σκώληξ καὶ οὐκ ἄνθρωπος, ὄνειδος ἀνθρώπων καὶ ἐξουθένημα λαοῦ. ∆ός μοι λόγον ἐν ἀνοίξει τοῦ στόματός μου, ὁ διδοὺς εὐχὴν τῷ εὐχομένῳ, ὅτι παρὰ σοῦ Πᾶσα δόσις ἀγαθὴ, καὶ πᾶν δώρημα τέλειον ἄνωθέν ἐστι καταβαῖνον ἐκ σοῦ τοῦ Πατρὸς τῶν φώτων· ἵνα καὶ δεηθῶ ἀξίως καὶ ἱκετεύσω συμφερόντως.

Μὴ ἀποστραφῶ τεταπεινωμένος, κατῃσχυμμένος, ἀλλὰ τυχὼν ὧν ἤλπισα· καὶ οὕτως ἀπελεύσομαι χαίρων ἐν πληροφορίᾳ καρδίας μου. Ἐλέησόν με, ὁ Θεὸς, κατὰ τὸ μέγα ἔλεός σου, ὅτι ἐπὶ σοὶ πέποιθεν ἡ ψυχή μου· ἐλέησόν με, Κύριε, ὅτι ἀσθενής εἰμι, ὁ ἰατρὸς τῶν ψυχῶν καὶ τῶν σωμάτων. Ὡς ἐπὶ τοῦ φοβεροῦ σου παριστάμενος βήματος, ὡς τῶν ἀχράντων σου ποδῶν ἐφαπτόμενος, οὕτω παρακαλῶ καὶ δέομαι καὶ ἀντιβολῶ μετὰ συντετριμμένης καρδίας καὶ τεταπεινωμένης· Ἱλάσθητί μοι τῷ ἁμαρτωλῷ, συγχώρησόν μοι τῷ ἀχρείῳ καὶ ταπεινῷ, ἔπιδε ἐξ ἁγίου κατοικητηρίου σου ἐπὶ τὴν ἐμὴν ἀθλιότητα, ἐπίβλεψον ἐξ ἁγίων σου ὑψωμάτων ἐπὶ τὴν προσευχὴν τοῦ ταπεινοῦ δούλου σου, καὶ μὴ ὑπερίδῃς τὴν δέησίν μου· ἄνες μοι, ἵνα ἀναψύξω, πρὸ τοῦ με ἀπελθεῖν, ὅθεν οὐκ ἔτι λοιπὸν ἐπιστρέψω. Ὡς ἄνθρωπος ἥμαρτον, ὡς Θεὸς συγχώρησον· σὺ γὰρ οἶδας, ∆έσποτα, τὸ εὐόλισθον τῆς ἀνθρωπίνης φύσεως, καὶ ὅτι ἔγκειται ἡ διάνοια τοῦ ἀνθρώπου ἐπιμελῶς ἐπὶ τὰ πονηρὰ ἐκ νεότητος. Μνήσθητι ὅτι χοῦς ἐσμεν· μνήσθητι ὅτι σὺ μόνος καθαρὸς καὶ ἄχραντος καὶ ἀμίαντος, πάντες δὲ ἡμεῖς ἐν ἐπιτιμίοις· μνήσθητι τῶν ἀπ' αἰῶνος