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he will not be so savage as to feel nothing human, even if she surrounds both herself and the house with countless embellishments. For the grief that has already seized the house does not allow the joy to become pure; but just as on walls, when some part happens to have been severely burned, then is lightly plastered over, the intense and deep blackness spoils the whiteness of the surface and is an unpleasant sight; so also here, even if she devises many splendid things, amidst them the gloomy things show through and in them is an unpleasant mixture. For indeed servants, and handmaids and farmers and tenants and neighbors and relatives of the one who has departed are downcast at what has happened and groan. And if orphans happen to have been left behind, being very young, they kindle a strong hatred for their mother from those who are able to understand what is happening; but if they happen to be adults, they above all spread unpleasantness. The laws therefore, having perceived all these things, and consoling those grieving over them, and making an apology for themselves, that they did not enjoin this marriage by choice or as a primary option, but fearing that some worse evil might happen, have done away with all the joyful things of a second marriage; and neither flute, nor clapping, nor a wedding song, nor dances, nor bridal crowns, nor anything else of that sort adorns that evening, but having stripped it of everything, thus they lead the man un-crowned to the widow woman, all but shouting through these things that they do all things worthy of pardon, but not of praise and clapping and crowns. How then, he says, did Paul forbid the young to remain widows, even those who wanted to, writing thus: "But refuse younger widows"? Paul did not forbid those who wanted to remain widows, but they compelled Paul, though he did not want to, to lay down this law for them; for if you want to learn Paul's will, hear what he says: "But I wish that all men were even as I myself," in continence. So that blessed one would not have contradicted himself nor fallen into so great a contradiction, nor would he who wished all men to be in continence have forbidden those who wanted to remain widows. How then does he say: "But refuse younger widows"? But tell me, for whose sake and why? For he did not say it simply so, but also added the reason, saying: "For when they have grown wanton against Christ, they desire to marry." Do you see that he forbids not those who want to remain widows, but those who choose to marry after being widowed, from being enrolled in that holy company? and he does this very wisely. For if you intend, he says, to engage in a second marriage, do not even profess widowhood; for to be ungrateful after the promise is much worse than not to have promised at all. Just as, then, he permitted continual intercourse not legislating, but making a concession to them; "For this I say," he says, "by way of concession, not of command, because of your incontinence." So also here on account of another, greater evil he enjoined the second marriage, showing that this too is a matter of concession condescending to the weakness of the many. And by weakness I mean not of power, but of will. For just as the virgin, having been corrupted after the profession of virginity, has committed something worse than adultery, so also the widow, having once made the profession, then having trampled on the covenants with God, will fall into the same sin and will be liable to the same punishment; and if one must say something astonishing, perhaps even a much greater one; for it is not the same thing, as I also said at the beginning, for both the inexperienced and the experienced to fall into the same temptations again. And not only here, but having said before, and saying again: "I desire the younger women to marry, to bear children, to rule the household," he adds the reason why he desires these things. And what is it?

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οὐκ ἔσται οὕτως ἄγριος, ὡς μηδὲν ἀνθρώπινον παθεῖν, κἂν μυρίοις καὶ ἑαυτὴν καὶ τὸν οἶκον περιβάλλῃ καλλωπισμοῖς ἐκείνη. Τὸ γὰρ καταλαβὸν ἤδη πένθος τὴν οἰκίαν οὐκ ἀφίησι καθαρὰν γενέσθαι τὴν εὐφροσύνην· ἀλλ' ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τῶν τοίχων ὅταν σφόδρα καταφλεγέν τι μέρος τύχῃ, εἶτα ἠρέμα κονιασθὲν τὸ τῆς μελανίας ἐπιτεταμένον καὶ βαθὺ λυμαίνεται τῇ τῆς ἐπιφανείας λευκότητι καὶ ἔστι θέαμα ἀηδές· οὕτω καὶ ἐνταῦθα κἂν πολλὰ ἐπινοήσῃ τὰ λαμπρά, ἐν μέσοις αὐτοῖς διαφαίνεται τὰ σκυ θρωπὰ καί τις ἐν αὐτοῖς μίξις ἀτερπής. Καὶ γὰρ καὶ οἰκέται, καὶ θεράπαιναι καὶ γεωργοὶ καὶ πάροικοι καὶ γείτονες καὶ συγγενεῖς τοῦ προαπελθόντος κατηφοῦσιν ἐπὶ τοῖς γενομένοις καὶ στενάζουσιν. Εἰ δὲ καὶ ὀρφανοὶ τύχωσι καταλειφθέντες, νέοι μὲν ὄντες κομιδῇ, σφοδρὸν τὸ παρὰ τῶν δυναμένων συνιέναι τῶν γινομένων τῇ μητρὶ τὸ μῖσος ἐξαπτοῦσιν· εἰ δὲ ἐνήλικες τύχοιεν ὄντες, πάντων ἐκεῖνοι μᾶλλον ἀηδίαν κατασκεδάζουσιν. Ἅπερ οὖν καὶ οἱ νόμοι συνεωρακότες ἅπαντα, καὶ τοὺς ἐπὶ τούτοις ἀλγοῦντας παραμυθούμενοι, καὶ ὑπὲρ ἑαυτῶν ἀπολογούμενοι, ὅτι οὐ κατὰ γνώμην οὐδὲ προηγουμένως τοῦτον τὸν γάμον ἐπέταξαν, ἀλλὰ δεδοικότες μή τι χεῖρον γένηται κακόν, πάντα τοῦ δευτέρου γάμου τὰ φαιδρὰ παρῃτήσαντο· καὶ οὔτε αὐλός, οὔτε κρότοι, οὔτε ὑμέναιος, οὔτε ὀρχήματα, οὔτε στέφανοι νυμφικοί, οὔτε ἄλλο τι τῶν τοιούτων τὴν ἑσπέραν κοσμοῦσιν ἐκείνην, ἀλλὰ πάντων αὐτὴν ἀποκοσμήσαντες, οὕτως ἀστεφάνωτον ἄγουσι τὸν ἄνδρα πρὸς τὴν χήραν γυναῖκα, μονονουχὶ βοῶντες διὰ τούτων ὅτι πάντα συγγνώμης ἄξια πράττουσιν, ἀλλ' οὐκ ἐπαίνων καὶ κρότων καὶ στεφάνων. Πῶς οὖν ὁ Παῦλος ἐκώλυσε χηρεύειν, φησί, καὶ βουλομένας τὰς νέας, οὑτωσὶ γράφων· «Νεωτέρας δὲ χήρας παραιτοῦ»; Οὐχ ὁ Παῦλος τὰς βουλομένας χηρεύειν ἐκώλυσεν, ἀλλ' ἐκεῖναι καὶ τὸν Παῦλον ἠνάγκασαν μὴ βουλόμενον τοῦτον διατάξασθαι τὸν νόμον αὐταῖς· εἰ γὰρ τὸ Παύλου τὸ θέλημα βούλει μαθεῖν, ἄκουε τί φησι· «Θέλω δὲ πάντας ἀνθρώπους εἶναι ὡς καὶ ἐμαυτόν», ἐν ἐγκρατείᾳ. Ὥστε οὐκ ἂν ἐμαχέσατο ἑαυτῷ οὐδὲ ἐναντιολογίᾳ τοσαύτῃ περιέπεσεν ὁ μακάριος ἐκεῖνος, οὐδ' ἂν ὁ πάντας ἀνθρώπους βουλόμενος εἶναι ἐν ἐγκρατείᾳ τὰς βουλομένας χηρεύειν ἐκώλυσε. Πῶς οὖν φησι· «Νεωτέρας δὲ χήρας παραιτοῦ»; Ἀλλ' εἰπέ, τίνος ἕνεκεν καὶ διὰ τί; Οὐ γὰρ ἁπλῶς οὕτως εἴρηκεν, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὴν αἰτίαν προστέθεικεν εἰπών· «Ὅταν γὰρ καταστρηνιάσωσι τοῦ Χριστοῦ, γαμεῖν θέλουσιν.» Ὁρᾷς ὅτι οὐ τὰς χηρεύειν βουλομένας, ἀλλὰ τὰς γαμῆσαι προαιρουμένας μετὰ τὸ χηρεῦσαι κωλύει ἐκεῖνος καὶ εἰς τὸν ἅγιον ἐκεῖνον κατατάττεσθαι χορόν; καὶ σφόδρα ποιῶν συνετῶς. Εἰ γὰρ μέλλοις, φησί, δευτέροις γάμοις ὁμιλεῖν, μηδὲ ἐπαγγείλῃ χηρείαν· τοῦ γὰρ μηδ' ὅλως ὑποσχέσθαι τὸ μετὰ τὴν ὑπόσχεσιν ἀγνωμονῆσαι πολλῷ χεῖρόν ἐστιν. Ὥσπερ οὖν τὰς συνεχεῖς συνουσίας ἐπέτρεψεν οὐ νομοθετῶν, ἀλλὰ συγγινώσκων αὐτοῖς· «Τοῦτο γὰρ λέγω, φησί, κατὰ συγγνώμην, οὐ κατ' ἐπιταγήν, διὰ τὴν ἀκρασίαν ὑμῶν.» Οὕτω καὶ ἐνταῦθα δι' ἕτερον μεῖζον κακὸν τὸν δεύτερον γάμον ἐπέταξε, δεικνὺς ὅτι καὶ τοῦτο συγγνώμης ἐστὶ τῇ τῶν πολλῶν ἀσθενείᾳ συγκαταβαινούσης. Ἀσθένειαν δὲ οὐ δυνάμεως, ἀλλὰ προαιρέσεώς φημι. Καθάπερ γὰρ ἡ παρθένος, μετὰ τὴν τῆς παρθενίας ἐπαγγελίαν διαφθαρεῖσα, μοιχείας χεῖρον ἐτόλμησεν, οὕτω καὶ ἡ χήρα ἅπαξ ἐπαγγειλαμένη, εἶτα πατήσασα τὰς πρὸς τὸν Θεὸν συνθήκας, ὑπὸ τὴν αὐτὴν ἁμαρτίαν πεσεῖται καὶ τῆς αὐτῆς ἔσται τιμωρίας ὑπεύθυνος· εἰ δὲ χρή τι καὶ θαυμαστὸν εἰπεῖν, τάχα καὶ πολλῷ μείζονος· οὐ γάρ ἐστιν ἴσον, ὅπερ καὶ ἀρχόμενος εἶπον, τήν τε ἄπειρον καὶ τὴν πεπειραμένην τοῖς αὐτοῖς πάλιν περιπεσεῖν πειρασμοῖς. Καὶ οὐκ ἐνταῦθα μόνον, ἀλλὰ προειπών, καὶ πάλιν λέγων· «Βούλομαι νεωτέρας γαμεῖν, τεκνογονεῖν, οἰκοδεσποτεῖν», τὴν αἰτίαν προστίθησι δι' ἣν ταῦτα βούλεται. Τίς δέ ἐστι;