Chapter II.—The Vices and Errors of the Philosophers.

What noble thing have you produced by your pursuit of philosophy? Who of your most eminent men has been free from vain boasting? Diogenes, who made such a parade of his independence with his tub, was seized with a bowel complaint through eating a raw polypus, and so lost his life by gluttony. Aristippus, walking about in a purple robe, led a profligate life, in accordance with his professed opinions. Plato, a philosopher, was sold by Dionysius for his gormandizing propensities. And Aristotle, who absurdly placed a limit to Providence and made happiness to consist in the things which give pleasure, quite contrary to his duty as a preceptor flattered Alexander, forgetful that he was but a youth; and he, showing how well he had learned the lessons of his master, because his friend would not worship him shut him up and and carried him about like a bear or a leopard. He in fact obeyed strictly the precepts of his teacher in displaying manliness and courage by feasting, and transfixing with his spear his intimate and most beloved friend, and then, under a semblance of grief, weeping and starving himself, that he might not incur the hatred of his friends. I could laugh at those also who in the present day adhere to his tenets,—people who say that sublunary things are not under the care of Providence; and so, being nearer the earth than the moon, and below its orbit, they themselves look after what is thus left uncared for; and as for those who have neither beauty, nor wealth, nor bodily strength, nor high birth, they have no happiness, according to Aristotle. Let such men philosophize, for me!

2.1 Τί γὰρ σεμνὸν φιλοσοφοῦντες ἐξηνέγκατε; τίς δὲ τῶν πάνυ σπουδαίων ἀλαζονείας ἔξω καθέστηκεν; ∆ιογένης πιθάκνης καυχήματι τὴν αὐτάρκειαν σεμνυνόμενος πολύποδος ὠμοβορίᾳ πάθει συσχεθεὶς εἰλεῷ διὰ τὴν ἀκρασίαν ἀποτέθνηκεν. Ἀρίστιππος ἐν πορφυρίδι περιπατῶν ἀξιοπίστως ἠσωτεύσατο. Πλάτων φιλοσοφῶν ὑπὸ ∆ιονυσίου διὰ γαστριμαργίαν ἐπιπράσκετο. καὶ Ἀριστοτέλης ἀμαθῶς ὅρον τῇ προνοίᾳ θεὶς καὶ τὴν εὐδαιμονίαν ἐν οἷς ἠρέσκετο περιγράψας, λίαν ἀπαιδεύτως Ἀλέξανδρον τὸ μεμηνὸς μειράκιον ἐκολάκευεν, ὅστις Ἀριστοτελικῶς πάνυ τὸν ἑαυτοῦ φίλον διὰ τὸ μὴ βούλεσθαι προσκυνεῖν αὐτὸν καθείρξας ὥσπερ ἄρκτον ἢ πάρδαλιν περιέφερε. πάνυ γοῦν ἐπείθετο τοῖς τοῦ διδασκάλου δόγμασιν τὴν ἀνδρείαν καὶ τὴν ἀρετὴν ἐν συμποσίοις ἐπιδεικνύμενος καὶ τὸν οἰκεῖον καὶ πάνυ 2.2 φίλτατον διαπείρων τῷ δόρατι καὶ πάλιν κλαίων καὶ ἀποκαρτερῶν προφάσει λύπης, ἵν' ὑπὸ τῶν οἰκείων μὴ μισηθῇ. γελάσαιμι δ' ἂν καὶ τοὺς μέχρι νῦν τοῖς δόγμασιν αὐτοῦ καταχρωμένους, οἳ τὰ μετὰ σελήνην ἀπρονόητα λέγοντες εἶναι, προσγειότεροι παρὰ τὴν σελήνην ὑπάρχοντες καὶ κατώτεροι τοῦ ταύτης δρόμου, προνοοῦσι τῶν ἀπρονοήτων· παρ' οἷς δὲ οὐκ ἔστι κάλλος, οὐ πλοῦτος, οὐ ῥώμη σώματος, οὐκ εὐγένεια, παρὰ τούτοις οὐκ ἔστι κατὰ τὸν Ἀριστοτέλην τὸ εὔδαιμον. καὶ οἱ τοιοῦτοι φιλοσοφείτωσαν.