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5. Let my own part, then, be set aside for now, and let the account hold to my mother; but if I should also relate something about myself, let no one find fault, for the matter is not self-praise, but an explanation, where it might yield, of my mother's virtues. For I would wrong her, showing her entirely deprived of her hopes and unfortunate in her prayers; but this will not be the case, unless what was hoped for should appear to have something of what went before and not be entirely discordant with her. Therefore, whatever my family reports about me when I was born, that I never cried, not even in the most necessary needs of nature, nor accepted any other breast than my mother's, and that I recognized her as the one who bore me as if by judgment, not by habit, or the other things about which I have no need to speak, I leave to the women's quarters; but whatever I myself happen to know, having reached 'the age of reason,' concerning both myself and my mother, these things indeed I will tell more clearly, 'doubting nothing' nor suspecting the tongues of the envious. Now, my mother was led to the 'acceptance of discourse' both by the love of learning itself and the desire for the subject, but my own nature strengthened her even more in this, as she was admired from the start for the readiness of her judgment and confirmed in practice by my fluency in learning. Indeed, most of my relatives say that even when I was a child, nothing that was said flowed past my hearing in vain, but every word was an impression on my soul. Therefore, my mother, being guided by this to better things, when I completed my fifth year, set a teacher over me, and for me learning was not only easy, but also pleasant in place of any other game; indeed, I was annoyed if my children's lessons were not given to me throughout the entire day, and for me study was play, and play was study; not as if I were playing at my games while being serious about my studies, but rather clinging to my studies because they were pleasant and abstaining from games because they were rough. Indeed, I say these things not wishing to praise myself, but to show from where my zeal for learning had come. A short time passed after these things, and the eighth 'season' of my life 'had arrived,' and my nature led me to higher studies. Therefore it seemed best to many of my relatives not to launch me into this sea—or rather, cast me adrift—but to divert me to something easier and, having brought me across, to moor me in a harbor. But for me it was difficult otherwise, even to the point of hearing it, to pursue any other trade before learning; and my mother inclined very gladly to my opinion, and for a time she was in dispute with both my eagerness and the guardianships and ordinances of the many; and she decided the doubtful matter, as anyone would say if my mother, having found resurrection from one of the greater ones, were present for the account; for she would have interpreted the vision she saw more beautifully. But the things seen were twofold, and the one I had heard from her herself, but the other, having heard it from one whom she trusted, I learned later. Indeed, my mother used to tell me how once, having fallen into sleep, she seemed again to be in dispute about what concerned me; and as she was often shaken by conflicting thoughts, a certain man of those made like God, familiar to her and compared to the one with the golden tongue [John], I mean the one from Antioch and our own, 'Do not, then, be tossed by waves,' he says, 'O woman, in your thoughts, but with a single, victorious vote, reconcile your son to learning. And I will follow him both as a pedagogue and as a teacher I will fill him with education.' This vision, then, I had received from my mother; but the one which I am about to relate, one of her brothers, after she had passed away, recounted to me, 'swearing' unspeakable 'oaths'. For he said, as his sister once related to him, that when she was divided by thoughts concerning me, such a dream led her to a single mind. For she seemed to be entering the shrine of the Apostles, very reverently, with some whom she did not know escorting her; and when she was near the sanctuary—for she was bold toward greater things even in shadows—a certain woman of the

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5. Τὸ μὲν οὖν ἐμὸν μέρος ἀφείσθω νῦν, ἐχέσθω δὲ τῆς μητρὸς ὁ λόγος· εἰ δέ τι καὶ περὶ ἐμαυτοῦ διηγοίμην, μεμφέσθω μηδείς, οὐ γὰρ περιαυτολογία τὸ πρᾶγμα, ἀλλ' αἰτιολογία, ὅπῃ παρείκοι, τῶν τῆς μητρὸς καλῶν. ἀδικοίην γὰρ ἂν ἐκείνην πάντη τῶν ἐλπίδων δεικνύων ἐστερημένην καὶ τῶν εὐχῶν ἀτυχῆ· οὐχ οὕτω δὲ ταῦτα ἕξει, εἰ μὴ τὸ ἐλπισθὲν ἔχον τι τῶν προηγησαμένων φανείη καὶ μὴ πάντη πρὸς ἐκείνην ἀπᾷδον. ὅσα μὲν οὖν μοι τὸ γένος ἐπιφημίζει τεχθέντι, τὸ μήτε κλαυθμυρίσαι ποτέ, μηδ' ἐν ταῖς ἀναγκαιοτάταις χρείαις τῆς φύσεως, μήτ' ἄλλην θηλὴν καταδέχεσθαι ἢ τὴν τῆς μητρός, γνωρίζειν τε ταύτην ὡς γειναμένην ὥσπερ ἀπὸ γνώμης, οὐκ ἀπὸ συνηθείας, ἢ καὶ τἆλλα περὶ ὧν οὐδὲν δέομαι λέγειν, ἀφίημι τῇ γυναικωνίτιδι· ὅσα δ' αὐτὸς τυγχάνω εἰδὼς «τῆς φρονούσης ἡλικίας» ἁψάμενος περί τε ἐμαυτοῦ καὶ τῆς μητρός, αὐτὰ δὴ λέξω σαφέστερον, «μηδὲν ἐνδοιάσας» μηδὲ τὰς τῶν βασκαινόντων ὑπειδόμενος γλώσσας. Τὴν ἐμὴν τοίνυν μητέρα ἐπήγετο μὲν πρὸς «λόγου παραδοχὴν» αὐτό τε τὸ περὶ τοὺς λόγους ἐραστὸν καὶ ἡ ἐπιθυμία τοῦ πράγματος, μᾶλλον δὲ πρὸς τοῦτο καὶ ἡ ἐμὴ φύσις ἐπέρρωσεν, αὐτόθεν τε θαυμαζομένης τῷ ἑτοίμῳ τῆς γνώμης κἀν τοῖς πράγμασι δὲ βεβαιουμένης τῷ εὐροοῦντι περὶ τὴν μάθησιν. φασὶ γοῦν τῶν περὶ τὸ γένος οἱ πλείους ὅτι μοι καὶ παιδὶ ὄντι οὐδὲν τῶν λεγομένων μάτην ἐπέρρει τῇ ἀκοῇ, ἀλλ' ἅπας λόγος ἐκσφράγισμα τῆς ψυχῆς ἦν. ἐντεῦθεν οὖν ἡ μήτηρ πρὸς τὰ κρείττω χειραγωγουμένη, εἰς πέμπτον ἔτος τελέσαντα διδασκάλῳ ἐφίστησι, καὶ ἦν μοι τὸ μάθημα οὐ μόνον εὐχερές, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἡδὺ ἀντ' ἄλλης τινὸς παιδιᾶς· ἠνιώμην γοῦν εἰ μή μοι διὰ πάσης ἡμέρας διδοίη τὰ παιδικά, καὶ ἦν μοι παιδιὰ μὲν ἡ σπουδή, σπουδὴ δὲ ἡ παιδιά, οὐχ ὡς ταῦτα παίζοντι ἐκεῖνα δὲ σπουδάζοντι, ἀλλ' ἐκείνων μὲν ἐχομένῳ διὰ τὸ ἡδύ, τούτων δὲ ἀπεχομένῳ διὰ τὸ τραχύ. λέγω γοῦν ταῦτα οὐκ ἐμαυτὸν βουλόμενος ἐπαινεῖν, ἀλλ' ἐνδεικνύμενος ὁπόθεν μοι ἡ περὶ τοὺς λόγους ἐγεγόνει σπουδή. Βραχὺς ἐπὶ τούτοις χρόνος ἐπέρρευσε καί μοι ὄγδοος τῆς ἡλικίας «ἐνειστήκει καιρὸς» καὶ πρὸς τὰ κρείττω μαθήματα ἡ φύσις ἀνῆγε. πολλοῖς μὲν οὖν τοῦ γένους παρίστατο μὴ εἰς τοῦτό με ἐφεῖναι τὸ πέλαγος, μᾶλλον δὲ ἀφεῖναι, ἀλλ' εἰς ἄλλο τι τῶν ῥᾴστων μεθέντας καὶ διαπεραιωσαμένους ἐπὶ λιμένος ἐγκαθορμίσαι. ἐμοὶ δὲ δυσχερὲς ἦν ἄλλως, καὶ μέχρις ἀκοῆς, ἄλλο τι πρὸ τῶν λόγων ἐμπορεύεσθαι· ἐπεκλίνετο δέ μοι τῇ γνώμῃ καὶ ἡ μήτηρ μάλα ἀσμένως, καὶ τέως ἀμφισβητήσιμος ἦν τῇ τε ἐμῇ προθυμίᾳ ταῖς τε τῶν πολλῶν ἐπιτροπείαις καὶ διατάξεσιν· ἔκρινε δὲ τὸ ἀμφίβολον, εἶπεν ἂν ὅστις εἰ ἀνάστασιν εὑραμένη παρά του τῶν κρειττόνων ἡ μήτηρ τῷ λόγῳ παρῆν· ἐκείνη γὰρ ἂν κάλλιον ἣν εἶδεν ὄψιν ἡρμήνευσε. τὰ δὲ ὀφθέντα διττά, καὶ τὸ μὲν παρ' αὐτῆς ἠκηκόειν, τὸ δὲ πεπυσμένος ᾧ ἐκείνη ἐπίστευσεν ἐγνώκειν ὕστερον. ἔλεγε γοῦν μοι ἡ μήτηρ ὡς ἅπαξ ποτὲ εἰς ὕπνον διαχυθεῖσα ἔδοξεν αὖθις περὶ τῶν ἐμοὶ καθηκόντων ἀμφισβητεῖν· ὡς δὲ πολλάκις τοῖς λογισμοῖς ἀντιπίπτουσι κατακεκλόνητο, ἀνήρ τις τῶν ἀφωμοιωμένων Θεῷ, συνήθης ἐκείνῃ καὶ πρὸς τὸν χρυσοῦν τὴν γλῶτταν [Ἰωάννην] παρεικασμένος, λέγω δὴ τὸν Ἀντιοχέα τε καὶ ἡμέτερον, «μὴ δῆτα κυμαίνου-φησίν-, ὦ γύναι, ταῖς ἐνθυμήσεσιν, ἀλλὰ μιᾷ νικώσῃ ψήφῳ λόγοις συμβίβαζε τὸν υἱόν. ἐγὼ δὲ καὶ ὡς παιδαγωγὸς ἕψομαι τούτῳ καὶ ὡς διδάσκαλος ἐμπλήσω παιδεύσεως». Ταύτην μὲν οὖν τὴν ὄψιν παρὰ τῆς μητρὸς ἐδεδέγμην· ἣν δὲ μέλλω ἐρεῖν ἅτερος τῶν ἐκείνης ἀδελφῶν, μεταλλαξάσης ἐκείνης, ὑφηγήσατό μοι, «ὅρκους» ἀρρήτους «ὀμνύς». ἔφησε γάρ, ὡς διηγεῖτο αὐτῷ ἅπαξ ἡ ἀδελφὴ ὅτι, διαιρουμένης τοῖς περὶ ἐμὲ λογισμοῖς, τοιοῦτος ἐπῆρεν ὄνειρος ἐπὶ μίαν διάνοιαν. ἐδόκει γὰρ τὸν σηκὸν εἰσιέναι τῶν Ἀποστόλων, μάλα σεμνῶς, δορυφορούντων αὐτὴν ἐνίων οὕσπερ ἠγνόει· ἐπεὶ δὲ πρὸς τῷ βήματι γένοιτο-ἐθάρρει γὰρ τὰ κρείττω κἀν ταῖς σκιαῖς-, γυναῖκά τινα τῶν