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but if he should be such a man, let her not think only of this, the addition of money, but that she will be led on to offend both God and men in many ways. For if he is one of the powerful and has great influence, sometimes he will compel her against her will both to do and to suffer many things, and what she feared in her widowhood, this she will now endure with greater compulsion; and not only this, but that it is likely she will also receive the swiftest change of fortune. For being a widow, even if she diminishes some of her property, yet she will possess what remains with much security; but having been joined to a powerful man who is engaged in the affairs of the city, or is pursuing some other concern, she will often lose everything at once; for it is necessary that their wives also share in the misfortunes of their husbands. But if nothing of the sort should happen, what is the gain, tell me, in choosing slavery instead of freedom? What is the benefit of much money, when she cannot use it for what she wishes? Is it not much better to have little with authority, than the things of the whole world along with being subject herself with them to another? For the cares, and the insults, and the reproaches, and the jealousies, and the groundless suspicions, and the birth-pangs, and all the other things, I pass over now. For one who discourses with a virgin will rightly discourse about these things too, since she is inexperienced and ignorant of those matters; but to a widow, one will even be annoying by saying these things. For what she has learned more accurately through experience, it is superfluous to try to teach her by word. But it is good to add this much, that a virgin who marries will associate with greater boldness and freedom than she who marries after widowhood. For even if he loves this one as a wife, it is not as having taken a virgin; but that the loves for the former are much more vehement and frantic than for the latter is surely clear to everyone; but that one, since she is experienced of a man, he will not embrace and love with his whole soul. For we are all naturally inclined, as I said, all men, whether from jealousy, or from vainglory, or I know not from what other cause, to love especially those things of which we have the authority and the enjoyment not after others, but we ourselves have been established as the first and only masters. One might see this happening to us also in the case of garments; for we are not similarly disposed toward things used by others and things used by no one. This is so also in the case of a house and in the case of furniture; for a house given to us by another we do not love in the same way as that one which we ourselves have built; and of furniture, those pieces just made and receiving their first use from us we keep with much care and zeal, but those that have come to us from others we do not greatly accept, but are so averse to them as to even refashion them often. But if this feeling happens to us in the case of a house and garments and furniture, consider in the case of a wife, than whom nothing is more precious to men, how it is likely to fall upon us with vehemence. For of those things we might even share with those who wish, but of this one it is not lawful for us, but we would first part with our life, than endure to suffer this. The virgin, therefore, as I was saying, since she is untouched and his own and has belonged to no other, he receives with all eagerness; but she who was previously joined to another he will not look upon with the same affection and goodwill. For do not tell me of things that happen rarely and scarcely once, but of things that are continuously shown in reality. Not for these reasons only will that one have greater boldness, but also for many other reasons. For this man could easily reproach her as being despised by her, and as proof of her contempt bring forward her unfaithfulness toward her former husband and silence her both concerning things that have happened and concerning things that will perhaps not even happen. For he who is gone and has been despised will persuade the living one to suspect these things about himself, even if it does not happen. And not only he by continually bringing these things up to her will be burdensome,

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δ' ἄρα καὶ τοιοῦτος ᾖ, μὴ τοῦτο ἐννοείτω μόνον τὴν τῶν χρημάτων προσθήκην, ἀλλ' ὅτι πολλὰ καὶ τῷ θεῷ καὶ τοῖς ἀνθρώποις προσκρούειν προαχθήσεται. Ἂν μὲν γὰρ τῶν δυνατῶν ᾖ καὶ πολλὴν ἐχόντων ἰσχύν, ἔστιν ὅτε παρὰ γνώμην πολλὰ καὶ πρᾶξαι καὶ παθεῖν αὐτὴν βιάσεται, καὶ ὅπερ ἐπὶ τῆς χηρείας ἐδεδοίκει, τοῦτο μετὰ πλείονος ἀνάγκης ὑποστήσεται νῦν· καὶ οὐ τοῦτο μόνον ἀλλ' ὅτι καὶ ταχίστην εἰκὸς αὐτὴν δέξασθαι τὴν μεταβολήν. Χήρα μὲν γὰρ οὖσα, κἂν ἐλαττώσῃ τι τῶν τοιούτων, ἀλλ' ὅμως τὰ λειπόμενα μετὰ πολλῆς ἕξει τῆς ἀσφαλείας· ἀνδρὶ δὲ συναφθεῖσα δυνατῷ καὶ τὰ τῆς πόλεως πράττοντι, ἢ καὶ ἑτέραν τινὰ μετιόντι φροντίδα, πολλάκις ἀθρόον πάντα ἀποβαλεῖται· ταῖς γὰρ τῶν ἀνδρῶν συμφοραῖς ἀνάγκη καὶ τὰς συνοικούσας αὐτοῖς κοινωνεῖν. Εἰ δὲ μηδὲν συμβαίη τοιοῦτον, τί τὸ κέρδος, εἰπέ μοι, δουλείαν ἀντ' ἐλευθερίας αἱρεῖσθαι; τί δὲ τὸ ὄφελος τῶν πολλῶν χρημάτων, ὅταν αὐτοῖς χρήσασθαι μὴ δύνηται πρὸς ἃ βούλεται; Οὐ πολλῷ βέλτιον ὀλίγα μετ' ἐξουσίας ἔχειν, ἢ τὰ τῆς οἰκουμένης μετὰ τοῦ καὶ αὐτὴν σὺν ἐκείνοις ὑποκεῖσθαι ἑτέρῳ; Τὰς γὰρ φροντίδας, καὶ τὰς ὕβρεις, καὶ τὰς λοιδορίας, καὶ τὰς ζηλοτυπίας, καὶ τὰς ὑποψίας τὰς εἰκῆ, καὶ τὰς ὠδῖνας, καὶ τὰ ἄλλα ἅπαντα παρίημι νῦν. Ὁ μὲν γὰρ τῇ παρθένῳ διαλεγόμενος εἰκότως καὶ περὶ τούτων διαλέξεται, ἅτε ἀπείρῳ οὔσῃ καὶ ἀμαθεῖ τῶν πραγμάτων ἐκείνων· χήρᾳ δὲ καὶ ἐνοχλήσει τις ταῦτα λέγων. Ἃ γὰρ διὰ τῶν πραγμάτων ἔμαθεν ἀκριβέστερον, περιττὸν τῷ λόγῳ πειρᾶσθαι διδάσκειν αὐτήν. Τοσοῦτον δὲ προσθεῖναι καλόν, ὅτι μετὰ πλείονος ὁμιλήσει τῆς παρρησίας καὶ τῆς ἐλευθερίας ἡ παρθένος γαμηθεῖσα τῆς μετὰ τὴν χηρείαν. Ταύτην μὲν γὰρ κἂν ὡς γυναῖκα στέργῃ, ἀλλ' οὐχ ὡς παρθένον λαβών· ὅτι δὲ πολλῷ ἐκείνου τούτων οἱ ἔρωτες σφοδρότεροι καὶ μανικώτεροι, παντί που δῆλόν ἐστιν· ἐκείνην δὲ ἅτε ἔμπειρον ἀνδρὸς οὖσαν οὐ παντὶ θυμῷ καὶ ἀσπάσεται καὶ φιλήσει. Πεφύκαμεν γάρ, ὡς εἶπον, ἅπαντες ἄνθρωποι, εἴτε ὑπὸ ζηλοτυπίας, εἴτε ὑπὸ κενοδοξίας, εἴτε οὐκ οἶδα πόθεν ἑτέρωθεν, τῶν πραγμάτων ἐκεῖνα μάλιστα φιλεῖν ὧν καὶ τὴν ἐξουσίαν καὶ τὴν ἀπόλαυσιν οὐ μεθ' ἑτέρους ἔχομεν, ἀλλ' αὐτοὶ πρῶτοι καὶ μόνοι καθεστήκαμεν κύριοι. Τοῦτο καὶ ἐπὶ ἱματίων ἴδοι τις ἂν συμβαῖνον ἡμῖν· οὐ γὰρ ὁμοίως διακείμεθα πρὸς τὰ παρ' ἑτέρων χρησθέντα καὶ τὰ παρ' οὐδενός. Τοῦτο καὶ ἐπὶ οἰκίας καὶ ἐπὶ σκευῶν· καὶ γὰρ οἰκίαν τὴν παρ' ἑτέρου δοθεῖσαν ἡμῖν οὐχ ὁμοίως ἐκείνῃ φιλοῦμεν ἣν αὐτοὶ κατεσκευάσαμεν· καὶ τῶν σκευῶν τὰ μὲν ἄρτι γενόμενα καὶ πρώτην παρ' ἡμῖν χρείαν δεξάμενα ἐν πολλῇ τῇ φειδοῖ φυλάττομεν καὶ σπουδῇ, τὰ δὲ ἐξ ἑτέρων ἐλθόντα εἰς ἡμᾶς οὐ σφόδρα προσιέμεθα, ἀλλ' οὕτως ἀποστρεφόμεθα, ὡς καὶ ἀνασκευάσαι πολλάκις αὐτά. Εἰ δὲ ἐπὶ οἰκίας καὶ ἱματίων καὶ σκευῶν τοῦτο ἡμῖν συμβαίνει τὸ πάθος, ἐννόησον ἐπὶ τῆς γυναικός, οὗ τιμιώτερον ἀνδράσιν οὐδέν, πῶς αὐτὸ μετὰ σφοδρότητος ἐμπίπτειν εἰκός. Ἐκείνων μὲν γὰρ κἂν μεταδιδόαμεν τοῖς βουλομένοις, ταύτης δὲ οὐ θέμις ἡμῖν, ἀλλὰ τῆς ψυχῆς ἀποστησόμεθα πρῶτον, ἢ τοῦτο παθεῖν ἀνεξόμεθα. Τὴν μὲν οὖν παρθένον, ὅπερ ἔφην, ἅτε ἀνέπαφον οὖσαν καὶ ἰδίαν αὐτοῦ καὶ οὐδενὸς ἑτέρου γενομένην, πάσῃ προθυμίᾳ προσίεται· τὴν δὲ ἑτέρῳ πρότερον συναφθεῖσαν οὐ μετὰ τῆς αὐτῆς ὄψεται φιλίας τε καὶ εὐνοίας. Μὴ γάρ μοι τὰ σπανιάκις καὶ μόλις ἅπαξ συμβαίνοντα εἴπῃς, ἀλλὰ τὰ συνεχῶς ἐπὶ τῶν πραγμάτων δεικνύμενα. Οὐ διὰ ταῦτα μόνον πλείονος ἐκείνη μεθέξει τῆς παρρησίας, ἀλλὰ καὶ δι' ἕτερα πολλά. Οὗτος μὲν γὰρ καὶ ὀνειδίσαι εὐκόλως δύναιτ' ἂν ὡς καταφρονούμενος παρ' αὐτῆς, καὶ τεκμήριον τῆς ὀλιγωρίας τὴν εἰς τὸν πρότερον αὐτῇ γεγενημένην ἀπιστίαν προενεγκεῖν καὶ ἐπιστομίσαι καὶ ὑπὲρ τῶν γεγενημένων καὶ ὑπὲρ τῶν μηδὲ συμβησομένων ἴσως. Ὁ γὰρ ἀπελθὼν καὶ καταφρονηθεὶς καὶ τὸν ζῶντα ταῦτα ὑποπτεῦσαι πείσει περὶ ἑαυτοῦ, κἂν μὴ γένηται. Οὐκ ἐκεῖνος δὲ μόνον ταῦτα προφέρων αὐτῇ συνεχῶς ἔσται φορτικός,