8

We overlook a commandment, whenever we must partake of the immortal mysteries, often doing this with the uncleanness and shamelessness inherent in us. And one might see not only these commandments, but also those that follow, utterly overturned by all, For when Christ said, Whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; we do everything that we do not wish to suffer, and having been commanded to enter through the narrow gate, we seek the wide one everywhere, And that some of those in the world embrace and love this is not very surprising; but for men who seem to be crucified to seek it out more than they, this is what is full of great astonishment, or rather, the matter even seems a riddle. For from most all monks you would immediately hear these words first, if you should ever summon them to come to some stewardship, asking if it is possible to find rest, and if the one summoning is able to give rest, and up and down, much is the name of rest. What are you saying, man? Having been commanded to walk the afflicted way, you ask about rest, and having been ordered to enter through the narrow gate, you seek a wide one? and what could be worse than this perversity? So that you may not think that I am now saying these things condemning others, I will tell you my own story. For when I formerly had decided, after leaving the city, to go to the tents of the monks, I was much investigating and inquiring into this: from where the supply of necessities would be, and if it would be possible to eat daily and fresh bread, and if there would not be someone compelling me to use the same oil for a lamp and for food, if there would not be someone pushing me to the misery of legumes and casting me into hard labor, such as commanding me to dig or to carry wood or to carry water, and to serve in all other such things; and in general, the talk about rest was much with us. And those who undertake the services of rulers and the administration of public affairs inquire about none of these things, but only if the matter has a profit, a timely profit; and if for this they are ever able to be bold, they then consider neither toils, nor dangers, nor dishonors, nor servile ministries, nor long journeys, nor life in a foreign land, nor insults, nor tortures, nor change of seasons, nor to be disappointed of their hope often at the end, nor untimely deaths, nor separation from their own, nor the desolation of wife and children, nor any other difficulty; but driven to a frenzy by the desire for money, they endure all things through which they expect to obtain it. But we, with not money nor land set before us, but heaven and the good things in heaven, which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man, ask about rest; so much more pitiful and softer are we than they. What are you saying, man? Being about to set out for heaven, and to receive the kingdom there, you ask if there is anything difficult on this road and journey, and are you not ashamed nor do you blush, nor do you go away 47.404 and bury yourself? For even if there were all the terrible things among men, even reproaches, even insults, even dishonors, even slanders, even sword, even fire, even iron and beasts and drownings, even famine and disease and as many hardships as life has brought from the beginning until the present, would you not laugh at them all, tell me, and despise them? And would you even think of these things at all? And what could be more like an old woman than this soul, and what more base and wretched? For the one seized by the desire for heavenly things, I say not only that he ought not to seek rest, but not even to be aware of it when it is present. Or how is it not absurd, that those who love improperly are so completely possessed by their beloved, that besides them and their company they consider nothing else pleasant in the present life, although there are many such things; while we, seized not by some improper love, but by the love that is above all, not only do not despise rest when it is present, but even seek it out when it is absent?

8

παραβλέπομεν ἐντολὴν, ἡνίκα ἂν τῶν ἀθανάτων μυστηρίων δέοι μετασχεῖν, μετὰ τῆς ἐγκειμένης ἡμῖν ἀκαθαρσίας τε καὶ ἀναισχυντίας τοῦτο ποιοῦντες πολλάκις. Οὐ ταύτας δὲ μόνον τὰς ἐντολὰς, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὰς ἑξῆς ὑπὸ πάντων ὁλοσχερῶς ἀνατετραμμένας ἴδοι τις ἄν, Εἰπόντος γὰρ τοῦ Χριστοῦ, Ὅσα ἐὰν θέλητε ἵνα ποιῶσιν ὑμῖν οἱ ἄνθρωποι, οὕτω καὶ ὑμεῖς ποιεῖτε αὐτοῖς· ἡμεῖς πάντα ποιοῦμεν ἃ πάσχειν μὴ θέλομεν, καὶ κελευσθέντες διὰ τῆς στενῆς πύλης εἰσελθεῖν, τὴν εὐρύχωρον ἐπιζητοῦμεν πανταχοῦ, Καὶ τὸ μὲν τῶν βιωτικῶν τινας ταύτην ἀσπάζεσθαι καὶ φιλεῖν, οὐ σφόδρα ἐστὶ θαυμαστόν· τὸ δὲ ἄνδρας ἐσταυρῶσθαι δοκοῦντας πλέον ἐκείνων ἀνιχνεύειν αὐτὴν, τοῦτό ἐστι τὸ πολλῆς ἐκπλήξεως γέμον, μᾶλλον δὲ καὶ αἰνίγματι ἔοικε τὸ πρᾶγμα. Τῶν γὰρ μοναχῶν ὡς ἐπιπολὺ πάντων ταῦτα εὐθέως πρῶτον ἀκούσῃ τὰ ῥήματα, εἴ ποτε αὐτοὺς εἰς οἰκονομίαν τινὰ παρακαλέσεις ἐλθεῖν, ἐρωτώντων εἴ γε ἀνάπαυσιν ἔστιν εὑρεῖν, καὶ εἴ γε δύναται ἀναπαῦσαι ὁ καλῶν, καὶ ἄνω καὶ κάτω πολὺ τὸ τῆς ἀναπαύσεως ὄνομα. Τί λέγεις, ἄνθρωπε; τὴν τεθλιμμένην κελευσθεὶς βαδίζειν ὁδὸν περὶ ἀναπαύσεως ἐρωτᾷς, καὶ διὰ τῆς ἐστενοχωρημένης προσταχθεὶς πύλης εἰσελθεῖν εὐρύχωρον ἐπιζητεῖς; καὶ τί ταύτης τῆς διαστροφῆς χεῖρον γένοιτ' ἄν; Ἵνα δὲ μὴ νομίσῃς ἑτέρους με καταδικάζοντα ταῦτα λέγειν νῦν, τὸ ἐμαυτοῦ σοι ἐρῶ. Ὅτε γὰρ πρώην ἐγὼ ἐγνώκειν, τὴν πόλιν ἀφεὶς, ἐπὶ τὰς σκηνὰς τῶν μοναχῶν ἐλθεῖν, πολὺς ἤμην τοῦτο ἐρευνῶν καὶ πολυπραγμονῶν, πόθεν ἡ τῶν ἀναγκαίων ἔσται χορηγία, καὶ εἰ δυνατὸν ἄρτον ἐσθίειν ἐφήμερόν τε καὶ νεαρὸν, καὶ εἰ μή τις ὁ καταναγκάζων ἐλαίῳ χρῆσθαι τῷ αὐτῷ πρὸς λύχνον τε καὶ τροφὴν, εἰ μή τις ὁ πρὸς τὴν τῶν ὀσπρίων ταλαιπωρίαν ὠθῶν καὶ εἰς ἔργον ἐμβάλλων χαλεπὸν, οἷον σκάπτειν ἢ ξυλοφορεῖν κελεύων ἢ ὑδροφορεῖν, καὶ τὰ ἄλλα πάντα τὰ τοιαῦτα ὑπηρετεῖν· καὶ ὅλως ὁ περὶ τῆς ἀναπαύσεως λόγος ἦν πολὺς ἡμῖν. Καὶ οἱ μὲν τὰς τῶν ἀρχόντων ὑπηρεσίας καὶ τὰς τῶν δημοσίων διοικήσεις ἀναδεχόμενοι, τούτων πολυπραγμονοῦσιν οὐδὲν, ἀλλ' εἰ μόνον κέρδος ἔχοι τὸ πρᾶγμα, κέρδος ἐπίκαιρον, κἂν ὑπὲρ τούτου θαῤῥῆσαι δυνηθῶσί ποτε, οὐ πόνους, οὐ κινδύνους, οὐκ ἀτιμίας, οὐ διακονίας δουλοπρεπεῖς, οὐκ ἀποδημίας μακρὰς, οὐ τὴν ἐν ἀλλοτρίᾳ διαγωγὴν, οὐχ ὕβρεις, οὐ βασάνους, οὐ καιρῶν μεταβολὴν, οὐ τὸ πρὸς τῷ τέλει σφαλῆναι τῆς ἐλπίδος πολλάκις, οὐ θανάτους ἀώρους, οὐ τὸν τῶν οἰκείων χωρισμὸν, οὐ γυναικὸς ἐρημίαν καὶ παίδων, οὐκ ἄλλο οὐδὲν δυσχερῶν ἐννοοῦσι λοιπόν· ἀλλ' ὑπὸ τῆς τῶν χρημάτων ἐπιθυμίας ἐκβακχευθέντες, πάντα ὑπομένουσι, δι' ὧν ταύτης ἐπιτεύξεσθαι προσδοκῶσιν. Ἡμεῖς δὲ, οὐ χρημάτων οὐδὲ γῆς προκειμένης ἡμῖν, ἀλλ' οὐρανῶν καὶ τῶν ἐν τοῖς οὐρανοῖς ἀγαθῶν, ἃ μήτε ὀφθαλμὸς εἶδε, μήτε οὖς ἤκουσε, μήτε ἐπὶ καρδίαν ἀνθρώπου ἀνέβη, ὑπὲρ ἀναπαύσεως πυνθανόμεθα· τοσοῦτόν ἐσμεν ἐκείνων ἐλεεινότεροι καὶ μαλακώτεροι. Τί φῂς, ἄνθρωπε; πρὸς τὸν οὐρανὸν στέλλεσθαι μέλλων, καὶ τὴν βασιλείαν τὴν ἐκεῖσε λαμβάνειν, ἐρωτᾷς εἴ τι δυσχερὲς κατὰ τὴν ὁδὸν ταύτην καὶ τὴν ἀποδημίαν ἐστὶ, καὶ οὐκ αἰσχύνῃ οὐδὲ ἐρυθριᾷς, οὐδὲ ἀπελθὼν 47.404 κατορύττεις σαυτόν; Κἂν γὰρ ἅπαντα ᾖ τὰ ἐν ἀνθρώποις δεινὰ, κἂν λοιδορίαι, κἂν ὕβρεις, κἂν ἀτιμίαι, κἂν συκοφαντίαι, κἂν ξίφος, κἂν πῦρ, κἂν σίδηρος καὶ θηρία καὶ καταποντισμοὶ, κἂν λιμὸς καὶ νόσος καὶ ὅσα ἐξ ἀρχῆς εἰς τὸ παρὸν ὁ βίος ἤνεγκε χαλεπὰ, οὐ καταγελάσεις πάντων, εἰπέ μοι, καὶ καταφρονήσεις; ἐννοήσεις δὲ ὅλως ταῦτα; Καὶ τί ταύτης γραωδέστερον γένοιτ' ἂν τῆς ψυχῆς, τί δὲ ταπεινότερόν τε καὶ ἀθλιώτερον; Τὸν γὰρ τῇ τῶν οὐρανίων ἐπιθυμίᾳ ληφθέντα οὐ λέγω μόνον, ὅτι ἀνάπαυσιν οὐ χρὴ ζητεῖν, ἀλλ' οὐδὲ παρούσης αἰσθάνεσθαι. Ἢ πῶς οὐκ ἄτοπον, τοὺς μὲν ἀτόπως ἐρῶντας οὕτως εἶναι τῶν ἐρωμένων ὅλους, ὡς πλὴν ἐκείνων καὶ τῆς ἐκείνων συνουσίας μηδὲν ἡγεῖσθαι ἕτερον ἡδὺ τῶν ἐν τῷ παρόντι βίῳ, καίτοι γε ὄντων πολλῶν· ἡμᾶς δὲ οὐκ ἀτόπῳ τινὶ, ἀλλὰ τῷ πάντων ἀνωτέρῳ ληφθέντας ἔρωτι μὴ μόνον παρούσης ἀναπαύσεως μὴ καταφρονεῖν, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀποῦσαν ἐκζητεῖν;