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through baptism, and after this he lived purely, so as to be conscious of nothing against himself, and had no sins for which to groan, he remembered those that had been blotted out before baptism, saying, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first; and again, He counted me faithful, appointing me to the ministry, who was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and an insolent man; for I persecuted the Church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it; and again, I am not worthy to be called an apostle. For even if those sins leave us without accountability, yet they are still sufficient to shame the soul, and to persuade it to love God vehemently. For when Simon was asked by the Lord, which of the two debtors would love the lender more, and said, I suppose the one to whom he forgave more, he heard: You have judged rightly.

7. For when we consider the multitude of past sins, then we shall know the excess of God's grace, then we will bow our heads, then we will be humbled. For the greater the transgressions for which we are responsible, the more we shall be ashamed. Paul, then, remembered those things; but we do not wish to remember even those things after baptism, which have danger, and make us liable to examination for them, but even if we ever fall into the thought of such a thing, we immediately jump away, not wishing to grieve the soul with the memory even for a short time. Therefore, countless evils are born to us from this unhelpful favor. For being so insensible and soft, we are not able to confess our former sins—for how could we, when we do not even accustom ourselves to endure the memory of them?—and we are readily carried away to future ones. For it is a desirable thing, when that memory is always vigorous in us, and fear shakes our mind, to be able to remove its vanity and dissipation; but if you also remove this bridle, who will then restrain it as it is carried fearlessly down 47.422 cliffs, and falls into the chasms of destruction? For these reasons that just man depicted the future punishment; for these reasons he lamented, for these reasons he groaned, doing these things out of abundance. For you who are great, it is sufficient for compunction to remember the benefactions of God, not to remember your own right actions, to examine with much exactness if you have happened to transgress in any small way, to look to the great men who were very well-pleasing to God, after all these things to consider the uncertainty of the future, the swiftness towards falling and sin, which Paul also feared; wherefore he also said: I fear lest, having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified; and, Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. Thus also David turned all these things over in his mind; for considering the benefactions of God, he said: What is man that you are mindful of him, or the son of man that you visit him? You have made him a little lower than the angels, you have crowned him with glory and honor. But he had so forgotten his own right actions, as to say after that countless philosophy: Who am I, my Lord, Lord, and what is my father's house, that you have loved me to this extent? And these things have been made small in your sight, my Lord, and you have spoken concerning the house of your servant for a long time to come. And this is the law of man, my Lord, Lord, to you. And what more will David add to say to you? And continually considering the virtue of his forefathers, he considered himself to be nothing in comparison to them. For after saying, In you they hoped

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διὰ τοῦ βαπτίσματος, καὶ μετὰ ταῦτα ἐβίου καθαρῶς, οὕτως ὡς μηδὲν ἑαυτῷ συνειδέναι, καὶ οὐκ εἶχεν ὑπὲρ ὧν στενάξειεν ἁμαρτημάτων, τῶν πρὸ τοῦ βαπτίσματος ἐξηλειμμένων ἐμέμνητο λέγων, ὅτι Ὁ Χριστὸς Ἰησοῦς ἦλθεν εἰς τὸν κόσμον ἁμαρτωλοὺς σῶσαι, ὧν πρῶτός εἰμι ἐγώ· καὶ πάλιν, Πιστόν με ἡγήσατο θέμενος εἰς διακονίαν, τὸν πρότερον ὄντα βλάσφημον καὶ διώκτην καὶ ὑβριστήν· καθ' ὑπερβολὴν γὰρ ἐδίωκον τὴν Ἐκκλησίαν τοῦ Θεοῦ, καὶ ἐπόρθουν αὐτήν· καὶ πάλιν, Οὐκ εἰμὶ ἄξιος καλεῖσθαι ἀπόστολος. Εἰ γὰρ καὶ ἀνευθύνους ἡμᾶς ἀφίησιν ἐκεῖνα τὰ ἁμαρτήματα· ἀλλ' ὅμως ἐστὶν ἱκανὰ ψυχὴν ἐντρέψαι, καὶ πεῖσαι σφοδρῶς ἀγαπᾷν τὸν Θεόν. Καὶ γὰρ ἐρωτηθεὶς ὁ Σίμων ὑπὸ τοῦ Κυρίου, τίς τῶν δύο χρεωφειλετῶν τὸν δεδανεικότα ἀγαπήσει πλέον, καὶ εἰπὼν, ὅτι Νομίζω, ᾧ τὸ πλέον ἐχαρίσατο, ἤκουσεν· Ὀρθῶς ἔκρινας.

ζʹ. Ὅταν γὰρ ἐννοήσωμεν τὸ πλῆθος τῶν παρελθόντων ἁμαρτημάτων, τότε εἰσόμεθα τῆς τοῦ Θεοῦ χάριτος τὴν ὑπερβολὴν, τότε κάτω νεύσομεν, τότε συσταλησόμεθα. Ὅσῳ γὰρ μειζόνων ἐσμὲν ὑπεύθυνοι πλημμελημάτων, τοσούτῳ μᾶλλον ἐντραπησόμεθα. Παῦλος μὲν οὖν κἀκείνων ἐμέμνητο· ἡμεῖς δὲ οὐδὲ τὰ μετὰ τὸ βάπτισμα ἀναμνησθῆναι βουλόμεθα, τὰ κίνδυνον ἔχοντα, καὶ τῆς ἐπ' αὐτοῖς ἐξετάσεως ὑπευθύνους ἡμᾶς καθιστῶντα, ἀλλὰ κἂν εἰς ἔννοιαν τοιούτου τινός ποτε ἐμπέσωμεν, εὐθέως ἀπεπηδήσαμεν, οὐδὲ τὸ πρὸς βραχὺ τῇ μνήμῃ λυπῆσαι βουλόμενοι τὴν ψυχήν. Τοιγάρτοι μυρία ἀπὸ ταύτης τῆς ἀνωφελοῦς χάριτος ἡμῖν τίκτεται τὰ κακά. Οὕτω γὰρ ἀναλγήτως ἔχοντες καὶ μαλακῶς, οὔτε ὑπὲρ τῶν πρότερον ἐξομολογήσασθαι δυνάμεθα, πῶς γὰρ, ὧν οὐδὲ τὴν μνήμην ἀνέχεσθαι ἐθίζομεν ἑαυτούς; καὶ πρὸς τὰ μέλλοντα προχείρως καταφερόμεθα. Ἀγαπητὸν γὰρ τῆς μνήμης ἐκείνης ἐνακμαζούσης ἡμῖν ἀεὶ, καὶ τοῦ φόβου κατασείοντος τὴν διάνοιαν, δυνηθῆναι τὸ χαῦνον αὐτῆς καὶ διακεχυμένον ἐξελεῖν· εἰ δὲ καὶ τοῦτον ἀφέλοις τὸν χαλινὸν, τίς αὐτὴν καθέξει λοιπὸν ἀδεῶς κατὰ 47.422 κρημνῶν φερομένην, καὶ εἰς τὰ τῆς ἀπωλείας ἐμπίπτουσαν βάραθρα; ∆ιὰ ταῦτα ὁ δίκαιος ἐκεῖνος τὴν μέλλουσαν ὑπέγραφε κόλασιν· διὰ ταῦτα ἐθρήνει, διὰ ταῦτα ἔστενε, ταῦτα ἐκ περιουσίας ποιῶν. Τοῖς μὲν μεγάλοις ὑμῖν ἀρκεῖ πρὸς τὸ κατανυγῆναι τὸ τῶν εὐεργεσιῶν ἀναμνησθῆναι τοῦ Θεοῦ, τὸ μὴ μεμνῆσθαι τῶν οἰκείων κατορθωμάτων, τὸ μετὰ πολλῆς ἀκριβείας ἐξετάζειν εἴ πού τι καὶ μικρὸν ὑμῖν τύχοι πλημμεληθὲν, τὸ πρὸς τοὺς μεγάλους ἄνδρας ὁρᾷν καὶ σφόδρα εὐηρεστηκότας Θεῷ, τὸ μετὰ ταῦτα ἅπαντα ἐννοεῖν τὸ τοῦ μέλλοντος ἄδηλον, τὸ πρὸς τὴν κατάπτωσιν καὶ τὴν ἁμαρτίαν ὀξύῤῥοπον, ὅπερ καὶ ὁ Παῦλος ἐδεδοίκει· διὸ καὶ ἔλεγε· Φοβοῦμαι μή πως ἄλλοις κηρύξας αὐτὸς ἀδόκιμος γένωμαι· καὶ τὸ, Ὁ δοκῶν ἑστάναι, βλεπέτω μὴ πέσῃ. Οὕτω καὶ ὁ ∆αυῒδ ταῦτα πάντα ἔστρεφε παρ' ἑαυτῷ· τὰς μὲν γὰρ εὐεργεσίας τοῦ Θεοῦ λογιζόμενος, ἔλεγε· Τί ἐστιν ἄνθρωπος, ὅτι μιμνήσκῃ αὐτοῦ· ἢ υἱὸς ἀνθρώπου, ὅτι ἐπισκέπτῃ αὐτόν; Ἠλάττωσας αὐτὸν βραχύ τι παρ' ἀγγέλους, δόξῃ καὶ τιμῇ ἐστεφάνωσας αὐτόν. Τῶν δὲ κατορθωμάτων οὕτως ἐπελέληστο τῶν αὑτοῦ, ὡς μετὰ τὴν μυρίαν φιλοσοφίαν ἐκείνην εἰπεῖν· Τίς εἰμι ἐγὼ, Κύριέ μου, Κύριε, καὶ τίς ὁ οἶκος τοῦ πατρός μου, ὅτι ἠγάπησάς με ἕως τούτων; καὶ κατεσμίκρυνται ταῦτα ἐνώπιόν σου, Κύριέ μου, καὶ ἐλάλησας ὑπὲρ τοῦ οἴκου τοῦ δούλου σου εἰς μακράν. Οὗτος δὲ ὁ νόμος τοῦ ἀνθρώπου, Κύριέ μου, Κύριε, πρὸς σέ. Καὶ τί προσθήσει ∆αυῒδ ἔτι τοῦ λαλῆσαι πρὸς σέ; Καὶ τῶν προγόνων συνεχῶς τὴν ἀρετὴν ἐννοῶν, τὸ μηδὲν πρὸς ἐκείνους ἑαυτὸν ἐξετάζων εἶναι ἐνόμιζε. Μετὰ γὰρ τὸ εἰπεῖν, Ἐπὶ σοὶ ἤλπισαν