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I may be found. Then shall I be a true disciple of Jesus Christ, when the world will not even see my body. Entreat the Lord for me, that through these instruments I may be found a sacrifice to God. I do not command you as Peter and Paul did. They were apostles of Jesus Christ, but I am the least. They were free as servants of God, but I am until now a slave. But if I suffer, I will become a freedman of Jesus Christ, and I will rise again in Him, free. Now I am learning, while bound in Him, to desire nothing worldly or vain. From Syria to Rome I am fighting with wild beasts, by land and sea, night and day, bound to ten leopards, which is a company of soldiers, who even when treated well become worse. But in their wrongdoings I am more instructed, but not by this am I justified. May I have joy of the beasts that are prepared for me, and I pray that they may be found prompt for me. I will even entice them to devour me promptly, not as they have done to some, whom they were afraid to touch. And if they are unwilling of their own accord, I will force them. Bear with me. What is profitable for me, I know. Now I am beginning to be a disciple. Let nothing envy me, of things visible and invisible, that I may attain to Jesus Christ. Fire and cross and packs of wild beasts, cuttings, tearings, scatterings of bones, mangling of limbs, grinding of my whole body, and the torment of the devil, let them come upon me, only that I may attain to Jesus Christ. The ends of the world will profit me nothing, nor the kingdoms of this age. It is good for me to die for Christ Jesus, rather than to reign over the ends of the earth. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? I long for the Lord, the Son of the true God and Father, Jesus the Christ. I seek Him who died for us and rose again. Bear with me, brothers. Do not hinder me from attaining to life, for Jesus is the life of the faithful. Do not wish me to die, for death is life without Christ. Do not grant me to the world, when I desire to be God's. Allow me to receive pure light. When I have arrived there, I shall be a man of God. Permit me to be an imitator of the passion of Christ my God. If anyone has Him in himself, let him understand what I desire, and sympathize with me, knowing the things that constrain me. The prince of this age wishes to seize me and to corrupt my purpose toward my God. Therefore, let none of you who are present help him. Rather be on my side, that is, on God's. Do not speak of Jesus Christ, and prefer the world. Let not envy dwell in you. Not even if I, being present, should beseech you, be persuaded. But rather believe these things which I write to you. For I write to you while living, loving to die for Christ. My love has been crucified, and there is not in me a fire that loves matter, but a living water, springing up in me, says to me from within: "Come to the Father." I take no pleasure in the food of corruption nor in the pleasures of this life. I desire the bread of God, the heavenly bread, the bread of life, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who was born in later times of the seed of David and Abraham. And I desire for drink His blood, which is incorruptible love and eternal life.

I no longer wish to live according to men. And this will be, if you are willing. I have been crucified with Christ. Yet I no longer live, because Christ lives in me. Through a few letters I ask you. Do not refuse me. Believe me, that I love Jesus who was given up for me. What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me? But God Himself and the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ will reveal these things to you, that I speak truly. And you, pray with me, that I may attain my goal in the Holy Spirit. I have not written to you according to the flesh, but according to the mind of God. If I suffer, you have loved me; if I am rejected, you have hated me. Remember in your prayer the church in Syria, which instead of me has the Lord for its shepherd who said: "I am the good shepherd." And He alone will be its bishop, and your love toward Him. But I

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εὑρεθήσωμαι· τότε δὲ ἔσομαι μαθητὴς ἀληθὴς Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ, ὅτε οὐδὲ τὸ σῶμά μου ὁ κόσμος ὄψεται. λιτανεύσατε τὸν κύριον ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ, ἵνα διὰ τῶν ὀργάνων τούτων θεῷ θυσία εὑρεθῶ.οὐχ ὡς Πέτρος καὶ Παῦλος διατάσσομαι ὑμῖν· ἐκεῖνοι ἀπόστολοι Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ, ἐγὼ δὲ ἐλάχιστος· ἐκεῖνοι ἐλεύθεροι ὡς δοῦλοι θεοῦ, ἐγὼ δὲ μέχρι νῦν δοῦλος. ἀλλ' ἐὰν πάθω, ἀπελεύθερος γενήσομαι Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ καὶ ἀναστήσομαι ἐν αὐτῷ ἐλεύθερος. νῦν μανθάνω, ἐν αὐτῷ δεδεμένος, μηδὲν ἐπιθυμεῖν κοσμικὸν ἢ μάταιον. Ἀπὸ Συρίας μέχρι Ῥώμης θηριομαχῶ διὰ γῆς καὶ θαλάσσης, νυκτὸς καὶ ἡμέρας ἐνδεδεμένος δέκα λεοπάρδοις, ὅ ἐστιν στρατιωτικὸν τάγμα, οἳ καὶ εὐεργετούμενοι χείρους γίνονται. ἐν δὲ τοῖς ἀδικήμασιν αὐτῶν μᾶλλον μαθητεύομαι, ἀλλ' οὐ παρὰ τοῦτο δεδικαίωμαι. ὀναίμην τῶν θηρίων τῶν ἐμοὶ ἡτοιμασμένων, ἃ καὶ εὔχομαι σύντομά μοι εὑρεθῆναι· ἃ καὶ κολακεύσω συντόμως με καταφαγεῖν, οὐχ ὥσπερ τινῶν δειλαινόμενα οὐχ ἥψαντο. κἂν αὐτὰ δὲ ἑκόντα μὴ θέλῃ, ἐγὼ προσβιάσομαι. συγγνώμην μοι ἔχετε· τί μοι συμφέρει, ἐγὼ γινώσκω. νῦν ἄρχομαι μαθητὴς εἶναι. μηθέν με ζηλώσαι τῶν ὁρατῶν καὶ τῶν ἀοράτων, ἵνα Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ ἐπιτύχω. πῦρ καὶ σταυρὸς θηρίων τε συστάσεις, ἀνατομαί, διαιρέσεις, σκορπισμοὶ ὀστέων, συγκοπαὶ μελῶν, ἀλεσμοὶ ὅλου τοῦ σώματος καὶ κόλασις τοῦ διαβόλου ἐπ' ἐμὲ ἐρχέσθω, μόνον ἵνα Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ ἐπιτύχω.Oὐδέν με ὠφελήσει τὰ πέρατα τοῦ κόσμου οὐδὲ αἱ βασιλεῖαι τοῦ αἰῶνος τούτου. καλὸν ἐμοὶ ἀποθανεῖν διὰ Χριστὸν Ἰησοῦν, ἢ βασιλεύειν τῶν περάτων τῆς γῆς. τί γὰρ ὠφελεῖται ἄνθρωπος, ἐὰν τὸν κόσμον ὅλον κερδήσῃ, τὴν δὲ ψυχὴν αὐτοῦ ἀπολέσῃ; τὸν κύριον ποθῶ, τὸν υἱὸν τοῦ ἀληθινοῦ θεοῦ καὶ πατρός, Ἰησοῦν τὸν Χριστόν. ἐκεῖνον ζητῶ τὸν ὑπὲρ ἡμῶν ἀποθανόντα καὶ ἀναστάντα. συγγνωμονεῖτέ μοι, ἀδελφοί· μὴ ἐμποδίσητέ μοι εἰς ζωὴν φθάσαι, Ἰησοῦς γάρ ἐστιν ἡ ζωὴ τῶν πιστῶν· μὴ θελήσητέ με ἀποθανεῖν, θάνατος γάρ ἐστιν ἡ ἄνευ Χριστοῦ ζωή. τοῦ θεοῦ θέλοντά με εἶναι κόσμῳ μὴ χαρίσησθε. ἄφετέ με καθαρὸν φῶς λαβεῖν· ἐκεῖ παραγενόμενος ἄνθρωπος θεοῦ ἔσομαι. ἐπιτρέψατέ μοι μιμητὴν εἶναι πάθους Χριστοῦ τοῦ θεοῦ μου. εἴ τις αὐτὸν ἐν ἑαυτῷ ἔχει, νοησάτω, ὃ θέλω, καὶ συμπαθείτω μοι, εἰδὼς τὰ συνέχοντά με. Ὁ ἄρχων τοῦ αἰῶνος τούτου διαρπάσαι με βούλεται καὶ τὴν εἰς τὸν θεόν μου γνώμην διαφθεῖραι. μηδεὶς οὖν τῶν παρόντων ὑμῶν βοηθείτω αὐτῷ· μᾶλλον ἐμοὶ γένεσθε, τουτέστι τοῦ θεοῦ. μὴ λαλεῖτε Ἰησοῦν Χριστόν, κόσμον δὲ προτιμᾶτε. βασκανία ἐν ὑμῖν μὴ κατοικείτω. μηδὲ ἐὰν ἐγὼ ὑμᾶς παρὼν παρακαλῶ, πείσθητε· τούτοις δὲ μᾶλλον πιστεύσατε, οἷς γράφω ὑμῖν. ζῶν γὰρ γράφω ὑμῖν, ἐρῶν τοῦ διὰ Χριστὸν ἀποθανεῖν. ὁ ἐμὸς ἔρως ἐσταύρωται, καὶ οὐκ ἔστιν ἐν ἐμοὶ πῦρ φιλόϋλον· ὕδωρ δὲ ζῶν, ἁλλόμενον ἐν ἐμοί, ἔσωθέν μοι λέγει· ∆εῦρο πρὸς τὸν πατέρα. οὐχ ἥδομαι τροφῇ φθορᾶς οὐδὲ ἡδοναῖς τοῦ βίου τούτου. ἄρτον τοῦ θεοῦ θέλω, ἄρτον οὐράνιον, ἄρτον ζωῆς, ὅ ἐστιν σὰρξ Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ, τοῦ υἱοῦ τοῦ θεοῦ, τοῦ γενομένου ἐν ὑστέρῳ ἐκ σπέρματος ∆αυὶδ καὶ Ἀβραάμ· καὶ πόμα θέλω τὸ αἷμα αὐτοῦ, ὅ ἐστιν ἀγάπη ἄφθαρτος καὶ ἀένναος ζωή.

Oὐκέτι θέλω κατὰ ἀνθρώπους ζῆν. τοῦτο δὲ ἔσται, ἐὰν ὑμεῖς θέλητε. Χριστῷ συνεσταύρωμαι· ζῶ δὲ οὐκέτι ἐγώ, ἐπειδήπερ ζῇ ἐν ἐμοὶ ὁ Χριστός. δι' ὀλίγων γραμμάτων αἰτοῦμαι ὑμᾶς· μὴ παραιτήσησθέ με· πιστεύσατέ μοι, ὅτι τὸν Ἰησοῦν φιλῶ τὸν ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ παραδοθέντα. τί ἀνταποδώσω τῷ κυρίῳ περὶ πάντων ὧν ἀνταπέδωκέ μοι; αὐτὸς δὲ ὁ θεὸς καὶ πατὴρ καὶ ὁ κύριος Ἰησοῦς ὁ Χριστὸς φανερώσει ὑμῖν ταῦτα, ὅτι ἀληθῶς λέγω. καὶ ὑμεῖς συνεύξασθέμοι, ἵνα τοῦ σκοποῦ τύχω ἐν πνεύματι ἁγίῳ. οὐ κατὰ σάρκα ὑμῖν ἔγραψα, ἀλλὰ κατὰ γνώμην θεοῦ. ἐὰν πάθω, ἠγαπήσατε· ἐὰν ἀποδοκιμασθῶ, ἐμισήσατε. Mνημονεύετε ἐν τῇ εὐχῇ ὑμῶν τῆς ἐν Συρίᾳ ἐκκλησίας, ἥτις ἀντ' ἐμοῦ ποιμένι χρῆται τῷ κυρίῳ τῷ εἰπόντι· Ἐγώ εἰμι ὁ ποιμὴν ὁ καλός· καὶ μόνος αὐτὴν ἐπισκοπήσει καὶ ἡ ὑμῶν εἰς αὐτὸν ἀγάπη. ἐγὼ δὲ