19

you were giving us embraces, about to depart and set out for a long journey, but I thought these things were the ambition of a nature suddenly relaxed into affection, as is often the case. I do not know where to turn, or how to quell the swelling of my soul. Shall I console my mother first, or shall I receive her consolation? You, then, O father, have gone on the truly good journey, or rather, you were sent to heaven, launched through the air, and “have ascended to God,” with whom you have negotiated many things, but I have been left behind in this “wandering life,” not knowing where I will end up or anchor, having crossed the great “sea.” But O father, this to me “sweet” and longed-for “name.” If any memory of things here abides in your divine souls, if any remembrance is given by the Better One, remember your son. For you will not cut off your own illumination, nor will you diminish your contemplation; for thus we also hear concerning the angels, that they are winged toward the things above and at the same time superintend the things here. You yourself have also been deemed worthy of an “angelic state”; show us your dignity, show us your unchangeable inclination.” So I was lamenting these things, “clinging entwined” to my father. And when I drew back a little, for the first time I realized that my mother was drawing me toward her and pulling me back with her whole hands. So turning around I beheld her; O that soul. But how could I describe the mixture of passions within her, or how she had become stronger than that which held sway? Her inwards were indeed terribly torn, and her nature was cast down; but she seemed, with a superior mind, to be indignant at her natural passions and to be vexing herself. She was indeed checking the flowing tear and holding back the groan drawn up from below, and her pale face was blushing with reverence for the matter, and there was in her a mixture and conflict of many contradictions. Nevertheless, her philosophical part conquered. Then, looking intently at me, she said: “But has secular learning profited you nothing, my child, toward piety, but has your education been in vain, and your reputation for learning been in vain? For you have not yet learned the philosophy of those nurtured in “the evangelical way of life”; for this is our endeavor: to dissolve the body through self-control and to release the soul from this natural temperament and be with God. And this is the end of our great labor and exertion here, which your father has now attained, and now his soul has for the first time been purely set free. What you now see is matter, shaped by nature, composed of elements, and again being resolved into them. This body was once indeed beautiful and enfolding the soul, but the venom of that serpent has filled it with darkness and mist. God wishes, then, to purify it again and to remove the venom; for this reason he has separated the mixture and dissolves the compound and pours out the terrible drug, so that he may refashion and rebuild it and again place the soul in it. You will see your father again, if you wish, with the body that was once his, when the trumpet will sound a great blast according to our traditions and the creator will “give form to the matter” and will shape the dust and will refashion the man. “Learn this lesson,” my child, and hold to the better philosophy and, if you wish to mourn, weep for yourself, still held in bondage and wandering on the sea of life and not yet having reached the harbor.” I was ashamed, as one might say, as my mother went through these things, and, checking my lament a little, I laid my father in the earth and turned to my mother; “But you,” I said, “be for me a ‘teacher of the better word’ and share your wisdom, which you yourself have drawn abundantly from the springs above.” . I wish, then, to turn the discourse immediately to my mother, but another account pulls me back and compels me to linger on my father, or rather, not an account, but a “nocturnal vision,” if this too is not an account,

19

ἡμῖν ἐδίδους περιπλοκάς, ἀπαίρειν μέλλων καὶ στέλλεσθαι πρὸς ἐκδημίαν μακράν, ἐγὼ δὲ ᾤμην φύσεως εἶναι ταῦτα φιλοτιμίαν εἰς φιλοστοργίαν χαλασθείσης ἀθρόον, οἷα δὴ πολλὰ εἴωθεν. οὐκ οἶδα ποῖ τράπωμαι, πῶς δὲ τὸ ἐξοιδοῦν καταστελῶ τῆς ψυχῆς. τὴν δὲ μητέρα παρηγορήσω πρότερον ἢ παρηγοροῦσαν εἰσδέξομαι; σὺ μὲν οὖν, ὦ πάτερ, ἀπελήλυθας τὴν καλὴν ὄντως πορείαν, μᾶλλον δὲ ἐστάλης πρὸς οὐρανὸν τῷ ἀέρι ἐφεὶς καὶ «πρὸς Θεὸν ἀναβέβηκας», πρὸς ὃν τὰ πολλὰ πεπραγμάτευσαι, ἐγὼ δὲ περὶ τὸν «πλάνητα» τοῦτον «βίον» ἐλλέλειμμαι, οὐκ οἶδα εἰς ὃ τελευτήσων ἢ ἐγκαθορμισόμενος τὸ μέγα «περαιωσάμενος πέλαγος». ἀλλ' ὦ πάτερ, τὸ «γλυκὺ» τοῦτο ἐμοὶ καὶ ποθούμενον «ὄνομα». εἴ τις μνήμη ταῖς θείαις ὑμῶν ψυχαῖς τῶν ἐνταῦθα ἐγκάθηται, εἴ τις ἀνάμνησις παρὰ τοῦ Κρείττονος δέδοται, μέμνησο τοῦ υἱέος. οὐ γὰρ ἐκκόψεις σαυτῷ τὴν ἔλλαμψιν, οὐδ' ὑφαιρήσεις τῆς θεωρίας· οὕτω γὰρ καὶ περὶ τῶν ἀγγέλων ἀκούομεν ὅτι καὶ πρὸς τὰ ἄνω ἐπτέρωνται ἅμα καὶ τὰ τῇδε ἐπιτροπεύουσιν. «ἀγγελικῆς» καὶ αὐτὸς ἠξίωσαι «καταστάσεως», δεῖξον ἡμῖν τὸ ἀξίωμα, δεῖξον τὴν ῥοπὴν ἀμετάθετον». Ἐγὼ μὲν οὖν ταῦτα ἀνῴμωζον «περιπλέγδην ἐχόμενος» τοῦ πατρός. ὡς δὲ βραχύ τι ἀνένευσα, τότε πρῶτον ἐγνώκειν ἐπισπωμένην με τὴν μητέρα καὶ χερσὶν ὅλαις ἀνθέλκουσαν. ἐπιστραφεὶς γοῦν τεθέαμαι ταύτην· ὢ ψυχῆς ἐκείνης. ἀλλὰ πῶς ἂν εἴποιμι τὴν τῶν παθῶν αὐτῇ κρᾶσιν, πῶς δ' ὅπως κρείττων ἐγεγόνει τοῦ δυναστεύοντος; ἐδριμύττετο γοῦν τὰ σπλάγχνα δεινῶς καὶ ἡ φύσις αὐτῇ κατενήνεκτο· ἐῴκει δὲ κρείττονι νῷ ἐμβριμωμένη τοῖς φυσικοῖς πάθεσι καὶ ταράττουσα ἑαυτήν. ἀνέστελλε γοῦν καταρρέον τὸ δάκρυον καὶ ἀνασπώμενον κάτωθεν ἐπεῖχε τὸν στεναγμὸν καὶ τὸ πρόσωπον ὠχριακὸς αἰδοῖ τῇ περὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα ἠρύθαινε καὶ ἦν ἐν αὐτῇ μίξις καὶ στάσις πλειόνων ἐναντιώσεων. ἐνίκησε δ' οὖν ὅμως αὐτῇ τὸ φιλόσοφον. εἶτα δὴ καὶ πρὸς ἐμὲ ἀτενὲς ἰδοῦσα· «ἀλλ' οὐδέν σε, παιδίον, -ἔφη-ὁ θύραθεν ὤνησε λόγος πρὸς θεοσέβειαν, ἀλλὰ μάτην μέν σοι ἡ παίδευσις, μάτην δὲ τεθρύλληται ἡ εὐμάθεια; οὔπω γὰρ τὸ φιλοσοφούμενον τοῖς «τῆς εὐαγγελικῆς πολιτείας» τροφίμοις μεμάθηκας· ἡμῖν γὰρ τοῦτο σπούδασμα, λῦσαι τὸ σῶμα δι' ἐγκρατείας καὶ ἀναλῦσαι τὴν ψυχὴν τῆς φυσικῆς ταύτης κράσεως καὶ συνεῖναι Θεῷ. καὶ τοῦτο τέλος ἡμῖν τῆς πολλῆς ἐνταῦθα πραγματείας καὶ συντονίας, οὗ δὴ νῦν ὁ πατήρ σοι τετύχηκε, καὶ νῦν πρώτως καθαρῶς ἠλευθέρωται αὐτοῦ ἡ ψυχή. ὃ δὲ νῦν ὁρᾷς, ὕλη ἐστὶ μορφωθεῖσα παρὰ τῆς φύσεως, ἐκ στοιχείων συγκειμένη καὶ αὖθις εἰς αὐτὰ διακρινομένη. ἦν μὲν οὖν ποτε καὶ τοῦτο τὸ σῶμα καλὸν καὶ ἐγκείμενον τῇ ψυχῇ, ἀλλ' ὁ τοῦ ὄφεως ἐκεῖνος ἰὸς σκότους καὶ ἀχλύος ἐμπέπληκε. βούλεται γοῦν αὐτὸ καθᾶραι πάλιν Θεὸς καὶ τὸν ἰὸν ἐξελεῖν· διὰ ταῦτα διεῖλε τὸ κρᾶμα καὶ διαιρεῖ τὸ σύνθετον καὶ ἐκχεῖ τὸ δεινὸν φάρμακον, ἵν' αὖθις ἀναπλάσῃ καὶ οἰκοδομήσῃ καὶ τὴν ψυχὴν τούτῳ πάλιν ἐγκαταστήσῃ. ὄψει γοῦν αὖθις τὸν πατέρα, εἴ γε βούλοιο, μετὰ τοῦ συμφυοῦς ποτε σώματος, ὅτε σάλπιγξ ἠχήσει μέγα κατὰ τὰς ἡμεδαπὰς παραδόσεις καὶ «εἰδοποιήσει τὴν ὕλην» ὁ πλάσας καὶ μορφώσει τὴν κόνιν καὶ ἀναπλάσει τὸν ἄνθρωπον. ταύτην μοι, τέκνον, «παιδεύου τὴν παίδευσιν» καὶ φιλοσοφίας ἔχου τῆς κρείττονος καί, θρηνεῖν εἴ γε βούλοιο, σαυτὸν ἀποδύρου ἔτι τῷ δεσμῷ κατεχόμενον καὶ τῷ τοῦ βίου πελάγει πλανώμενον καὶ οὔπω ἐλλιμενίσαντα». Ἠιδέσθην, πῶς ἂν εἴποι τις, ταῦτα διεξιούσης μοι τῆς μητρός, καί, βραχύ τι τὸν θρῆνον ἐπισχών, τόν τε πατέρα τῇ γῇ κατεθέμην καὶ πρὸς τὴν μητέρα μεταστραφείς· «ἀλλὰ σύ μοι-ἔφησα-γενοῦ τοῦ κρείττονος «λόγου διδάσκαλος» καὶ τῆς σῆς μετάδος σοφίας, ἣν αὐτὴ δαψιλῶς ἐκ τῶν ἄνωθεν ἠρρύσω πηγῶν». . Βούλομαι μὲν οὖν τὸν λόγον εὐθὺς ἐπὶ τὴν μητέρα μετενεγκεῖν, ἕτερος δέ με λόγος ἀνθέλκει καὶ περὶ τὸν πατέρα καταναγκάζει φιλοχωρεῖν, μᾶλλον δὲ οὐ λόγος, ἀλλ' «ὄψις νυκτερινή», εἴ γε μὴ καὶ αὕτη λόγος ἐστίν,