MACRINA'S DYING PRAYER

[984B] Most of the day had now passed, and the sun was declining towards the West. Her eagerness did not diminish, but as she approached her end, as if she discerned the beauty of the Bridegroom more clearly, she hastened towards the Beloved with the greater eagerness. Such thoughts as these did she utter, no longer to us who were present, but to Him in person on Whom she gazed fixedly. Her couch had been turned towards the East; and, ceasing to converse with us, she spoke henceforward to God in prayer, making supplication with her hands and whispering with a low voice, so that we could just hear what was said. Such was the prayer; we need not doubt that it reached [984C] God and that she, too, was hearing His voice.

"Thou, O Lord, hast freed us from the fear of death. Thou hast made the end of this life the beginning to us of true life. Thou for a season restest our bodies in sleep and awakest them again at the last trump. Thou givest our earth, which Thou hast fashioned with Thy hands, to the earth to keep in safety. One day Thou wilt take again what Thou hast given, transfiguring with immortality and grace our mortal and unsightly remains. Thou hast saved us from the curse and from sin, having become both for our sakes. Thou hast broken the heads of the dragon who had seized us with his jaws, in the yawning gulf of disobedience. Thou hast shown us the way of resurrection, having broken the gates of .hell, and brought to nought him who had the power of death----the devil. Thou hast given a sign to those that fear Thee in the symbol of the Holy Cross, [984D] to destroy the adversary and save our life. O God eternal, to Whom I have been attached from my mother's womb, Whom my soul has loved with all its strength, to Whom I have dedicated both my flesh and my soul from my youth up until now----do Thou give me an angel of light to conduct me to the place of refreshment, where is the water of rest, in the bosom of the holy Fathers. Thou that didst break the flaming sword and didst restore to Paradise the man that was crucified with Thee and implored Thy mercies, remember me, too, in Thy kingdom; because I, too, was crucified with Thee, having nailed my flesh to the cross for fear of Thee, and of Thy judgments have I been afraid. Let not the terrible chasm separate me from Thy elect. Nor let [986A] the Slanderer stand against me in the way; nor let my sin be found before Thy eyes, if in anything I have sinned in word or deed or thought, led astray by the weakness of our nature. O Thou Who hast power on earth to forgive sins, forgive me, that I may be refreshed and may be found before Thee when I put off my body, without defilement on my soul. But may my soul be received into Thy hands spotless and undefiled, as an offering before Thee."

As she said these words she sealed her eyes and mouth and heart with the cross. And gradually her tongue dried up with the fever, she could articulate her words no longer, and her voice died away, and only by the trembling of her lips and the motion of her hands did we recognise that she was praying.

Meanwhile evening had come and a lamp [986B] was brought in. All at once she opened the orb of her eyes and looked towards the light, clearly wanting to repeat the thanksgiving sung at the Lighting of the Lamps. But her voice failed and she fulfilled her intention in the heart and by moving her hands, while her lips stirred in sympathy with her inward desire. But when she had finished the thanksgiving, and her hand brought to her face to make the Sign had signified the end of the prayer, she drew a great deep breath and closed her life and her prayer together.  

Καὶ τῆς μὲν ἡμέρας ἤδη παρῳχήκει τὸ πλέον καὶ ὁ ἥλιος πρὸς δυσμὰς ἐπεκλίνετο. Τῇ δὲ οὐκ ἐνεδίδου ἡ προθυμία, ἀλλ' ὅσον τῇ ἐξόδῳ προσήγγιζεν, ὡς πλέον θεωροῦσα τοῦ νυμφίου τὸ κάλλος ἐν σφοδροτέρᾳ τῇ ἐπείξει πρὸς τὸν ποθούμενον ἵετο, τοιαῦτα φθεγγομένη οὐκέτι πρὸς ἡμᾶς τοὺς παρόντας, ἀλλὰ πρὸς αὐτὸν ἐκεῖνον εἰς ὃν ἀτενὲς ἀφεώρα τοῖς ὄμμασι. Πρὸς γὰρ ἀνατολὴν ἐτέτραπτο αὐτῇ τὸ χαμεύνιον, καὶ ἀποστᾶσα τοῦ πρὸς ἡμᾶς διαλέγεσθαι δι' εὐχῆς ὡμίλει τὸ λοιπὸν τῷ θεῷ χερσί τε ἱκετεύουσα καὶ ὑποφθεγγομένη λεπτῇ τῇ φωνῇ, ὥστε ἡμᾶς ἐπαΐειν μετρίως τῶν λεγομένων: τοιαύτη δὲ ἦν ἡ εὐχή,
ὡς μηδὲ ἀμφιβάλλειν, ὅτι καὶ πρὸς τὸν θεὸν ἐγίνετο καὶ παρ' ἐκείνου ἠκούετο.
Σύ, φησίν, ἔλυσας ἡμῖν, κύριε, «τοῦ θανάτου τὸν φόβον». Σὺ ζωῆς ἀληθινῆς ἀρχὴν ἡμῖν ἐποίησας τὸ τέλος τῆς ἐνταῦθα ζωῆς. Σὺ πρὸς καιρὸν ἡμῶν ὕπνῳ διαναπαύεις τὰ σώματα καὶ πάλιν ἀφυπνίζεις «ἐν τῇ ἐσχάτῃ σάλπιγγι». Σὺ δίδως παρακαταθήκην τῇ γῇ τὴν ἡμετέραν γῆν, ἣν ταῖς σαῖς χερσὶ διεμόρφωσας, καὶ πάλιν ἀνακωμίζῃ ὃ ἔδωκας, ἀφθαρσίᾳ καὶ χάριτι μεταμορφώσας τὸ θνητὸν ἡμῶν καὶ ἄσχημον. Σὺ ἐρρύσω ἡμᾶς ἐκ τῆς κατάρας καὶ τῆς ἁμαρτίας, ἀμφότερα ὑπὲρ ἡμῶν γενόμενος. Σὺ «συνέθλασας τὰς κεφαλὰς τοῦ δράκοντος» τοῦ διὰ τοῦ χάσματος τῆς παρακοῆς τῷ λαιμῷ διαλαβόντος τὸν ἄνθρωπον. Σὺ ὡδοποίησας ἡμῖν τὴν ἀνάστασιν, συντρίψας τὰς πύλας τοῦ ᾅδου καὶ «καταργήσας τὸν τὸ κράτος ἔχοντα τοῦ θανάτου». Σὺ «ἔδωκας τοῖς φοβουμένοις σε σημείωσιν» τὸν τύπον τοῦ ἁγίου σταυροῦ εἰς καθαίρεσιν τοῦ ἀντικειμένου καὶ ἀσφάλειαν τῆς ἡμετέρας ζωῆς. Ὁ θεὸς ὁ αἰώνιος, ᾧ «ἐπερρίφην ἐκ κοιλίας μητρός», «ὃν ἠγάπησεν ἡ ψυχή μου» ἐξ ὅλης δυνάμεως, ᾧ ἀνέθηκα καὶ τὴν σάρκα καὶ τὴν ψυχὴν ἀπὸ νεότητός μου καὶ μέχρι τοῦ νῦν, σύ μοι παρακατάστησον φωτεινὸν ἄγγελον τὸν χειραγωγοῦντά με πρὸς τὸν τόπον τῆς ἀναψύξεως, ὅπου «τὸ ὕδωρ τῆς ἀναπαύσεως», παρὰ τοὺς κόλπους τῶν ἁγίων πατέρων. Ὁ διακόψας τὴν φλόγα τῆς πυρίνης ῥομφαίας, καὶ ἀποδοὺς τῷ παραδείσῳ τὸν ἄνθρωπον τὸν συσταυρωθέντα σοι καὶ ὑποπεσόντα τοῖς οἰκτιρμοῖς σου, κἀμοῦ «μνήσθητι ἐν τῇ βασιλείᾳ σου», ὅτι κἀγὼ σοὶ συνεσταυρώθην, «καθηλώσασα ἐκ τοῦ φόβου σου τὰς σάρκας μου καὶ ἀπὸ τῶν κριμάτων σου φοβηθεῖσα». Μὴ διαχωρισάτω με τὸ χάσμα τὸ φοβερὸν ἀπὸ τῶν ἐκλεκτῶν σου, μηδὲ ἀντιστήτω ὁ βάσκανος τῇ ὁδῷ μου μηδὲ εὑρεθείη κατενώπιον τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν σου ἡ ἁμαρτία μου, εἴ τι σφαλεῖσα διὰ τὴν ἀσθένειαν τῆς φύσεως ἡμῶν ἐν λόγῳ ἢ ἐν ἔργῳ ἢ κατὰ διάνοιαν ἥμαρτον. Ὁ ἔχων ἐπὶ γῆς ἐξουσίαν ἀφιέναι ἁμαρτίας, «ἄνες μοι, ἵνα ἀναψύξω» καὶ εὑρεθῶ ἐνώπιόν σου «ἐν τῇ ἀπεκδύσει τοῦ σώματός» μου «μὴ ἔχουσα σπίλον ἢ ῥυτίδα» ἐν τῇ μορφῇ τῆς ψυχῆς μου, ἀλλ' ἄμωμος καὶ ἀκηλίδωτος προσδεχθείη ἡ ψυχή μου ἐν ταῖς χερσί σου «ὡς θυμίαμα ἐνώπιόν σου».
Καὶ ταῦτα ἅμα λέγουσα ἐπετίθει τὴν σφραγῖδα τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς καὶ τῷ στόματι καὶ τῇ καρδίᾳ. Καὶ κατ' ὀλίγον ἥ τε γλῶσσα τῷ πυρετῷ καταφρυγεῖσα οὐκέτι διήρθρου τὸν λόγον καὶ ἡ φωνὴ ὑπενεδίδου, καὶ ἐν μονῇ τῇ τῶν χειλέων διαστολῇ καὶ τῇ τῶν χειρῶν κινήσει τὸ ἐν προσευχῇ εἶναι αὐτὴν ἐγινώσκομεν. Καὶ ἐν τούτοις τῆς ἑσπέρας ἐπιλαβούσης καὶ φωτὸς εἰσκομισθέντος ἀθρόον τὸν τῶν ὀμμάτων διαστείλασα κύκλον καὶ πρὸς τὴν αὐγὴν ἀπιδοῦσα ἔκδηλος μὲν ἦν καὶ φθέγξασθαι τὴν ἐπιλύχνιον εὐχαριστίαν προθυμουμένη: τῆς δὲ φωνῆς ἐπιλειπούσης διὰ τῆς καρδίας καὶ διὰ τῆς τῶν χειρῶν κινήσεως ἐπλήρου τὴν πρόθεσιν καὶ τὰ χείλη πρὸς τὴν ἔνδοθεν ὁρμὴν συνεκινεῖτο: ὡς δὲ ἐπλήρωσε τὴν εὐχαριστίαν καὶ ἡ χεὶρ ἐπαχθεῖσα διὰ τῆς σφραγῖδος τῷ προσώπῳ τὸ πέρας τῆς εὐχῆς διεσήμανε, μέγα τι καὶ βύθιον ἀναπνεύσασα τῇ προσευχῇ τὴν ζωὴν συγκατέληξεν.