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Just as those who are thirsty from some circumstance suffer unquenchably, so also we, the more we are filled with your good things, the more thirsty we become. And if you would not suppose our word to be some fawning and false flattery (and surely you will not suppose so, being such as you are in all other respects, and especially toward us, if any other, both kind and genuine), you will surely believe what is said, that the grace of your letter, having become like some healing medicine for the eyes, has checked the continuous flow of tears, and we expect by the healing of your holy prayers supporting our soul, which is already collapsing under the continuity of evils, that perhaps this affliction of our soul will be healed completely; since, for the present, we are in such circumstances as to spare the hearing that loves us and to conceal the truth in silence, lest we should draw those who genuinely love us into a sharing of our evils. For whenever we consider that having been left behind by our dearest ones we are living in the midst of wars and, the things we were forced to leave behind are children whom we were counted worthy to bear to God with our spiritual birth-pangs, a wife joined by law, who in danger and hardships in the times of temptations showed her affection toward us, and still in addition to these a favored house, brothers, kinsmen, household members, companions, friends, hearth, table, storeroom, pallet, bench, sackcloth, corner, prayer, tear, how sweet these are and how lovely through habit, I will have no need to write to you who know; but as for the things in their place, lest I seem to say something burdensome, consider how everything is otherwise. Being at the end of my own life, I begin to live again; I am compelled to learn the variety of manners now in vogue, becoming a late-learner of ill-nature and of such villainy, so as to always blush at my ineptitude in the matter. But the opposing teachers of this wisdom are able both to keep what they have learned and to invent what they have not learned; they fight hand-to-hand, they skirmish from afar, in battle-line they make the phalanx dense, they lie in ambush in secret, they seize the high ground, they surround themselves with allies from all sides. And Mammon is great among them and invincible in power, having been put forward into a generalship like some ambidextrous champion fighting in front of his own army with a double hand, in one way levying tribute on his subjects, in another way striking those who encounter him. And if you should examine our life within, you will find other such things: a suffocating little house abounding with frost and gloom and narrowness and all such fine things, a life scrutinized for faults by all, voice and glance and the draping of a cloak and the movement of a hand and a certain posture of the feet and everything being meddled with, and if our breathing is not heavy and drawn out at length and if some groan is not issued with the breath, and if our tunic should not fall out from our belt, and the very act of not wearing a belt, and if our cloak should not hang down along our side nor should we draw the other one over our shoulders up to our eyebrows, all these things, if they do not happen, become a pretext for those warring against us, and on these grounds man by man and by districts and to the farthest ends they band together for the fight against us. But since it is not possible to fare well or ill in all things—for life for all is for the most part mixed with opposites—if indeed your support might be with us continually according to the grace of God, we shall endure the abundance of present troubles in the hope of partaking of your goodness forever. Therefore, may you never cease bestowing such favors through which you will both give us rest and prepare for yourself a greater reward for the commandments.

19.τ To a certain John concerning certain matters and concerning the conduct and

state of his sister Macrina of such a kind

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πάσχουσιν οἱ ἔκ τινος περιστάσεως διψῶντες ἀτέλεστα, οὕτω καὶ ἡμεῖς, ὅσον ἐμφορούμεθα τῶν σῶν ἀγαθῶν, τοσούτῳ μᾶλλον διψώδεις 18.4 γινόμεθα. εἰ δὲ μὴ θωπείαν τινὰ καὶ ψευδῆ κολακείαν τὸν ἡμέτερον λόγον ὑπολήψῃ (πάντως δὲ οὐχ ὑπολήψῃ, τά τε ἄλλα τοιοῦτος ὢν οἷος εἶ, καὶ περὶ ἡμᾶς διαφερόντως, εἰ καί τις ἄλλος, χρηστός τε καὶ γνήσιος), πάντως πιστεύσεις τοῖς λεγομένοις, ὅτι τὴν συνεχῆ τῶν δακρύων ἐπιρροὴν ἡ τῶν γραμμάτων χάρις, οἷόν τι φάρμακον ἰαματικὸν τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς γενομένη, ἀνέστειλε, καὶ προσδοκῶμεν τῇ τῶν ἁγίων εὐχῶν σου ἰατρείᾳ ὀκλάζουσαν ἤδη τὴν ψυχὴν ἡμῶν ὑπὸ τῆς τῶν κακῶν συνεχείας ὑπερειδούσῃ ὅτι τάχα καὶ καθ' ὅλου τὸ τοιοῦτον τῆς ψυχῆς ἡμῶν πάθος ἐξιαθήσεται· ἐπεί, τό γε νῦν ἔχον, ἐν τοιούτοις ἐσμὲν ὡς φείδεσθαι τῆς ἀγαπώσης ἡμᾶς ἀκοῆς καὶ ἐπικρύπτεσθαι σιωπῇ τὴν ἀλήθειαν, ἵνα μὴ πρὸς κοινωνίαν τῶν ἡμετέρων κακῶν 18.5 τοὺς γνησίως ἡμᾶς ἀγαπῶντας ἐφελκυσώμεθα. ὅταν γὰρ ἐνθυμηθῶμεν ὅτι τῶν φιλτάτων ἀπολειφθέντες ἐν πολέμοις ἀναστρεφόμεθα καί, ἃ μὲν καταλιπεῖν ἐβιάσθημεν, τέκνα ἐστὶν ἃ ταῖς πνευματικαῖς ἡμῶν ὠδῖσι τῷ θεῷ γεννῆσαι κατηξιώθημεν, σύμβιος νόμῳ συνηρμοσμένη, κινδύνῳ καὶ κακοπαθείαις ἐν τοῖς τῶν πειρασμῶν καιροῖς ἐπιδειξαμένη πρὸς ἡμᾶς τὸ φιλόστοργον, καὶ ἔτι πρὸς τούτοις οἶκος κεχαριτωμένος, ἀδελφοί, συγγενεῖς, οἰκεῖοι, συνήθεις, φίλοι, ἑστία, τράπεζα, ταμεῖον, στιβάς, τὸ βάθρον, ὁ σάκκος, ἡ γωνία, ἡ προσευχή, τὸ δάκρυον, ἃ ὥς ἐστι γλυκέα καὶ διὰ συνήθειαν ὅσον ἐράσμια, οὐδὲν δεήσομαι πρὸς εἰδότα σε γράφειν· τὰ δὲ ἀντ' ἐκείνων, ἵνα μή τι ἐπαχθὲς λέγειν 18.6 δόξω, πάντα ὡς ἄλλως ἔχει σκόπησον. πρὸς τῷ τέλει τῆς ἐμαυτοῦ ζωῆς ὤν, πάλιν τοῦ ζῆν ἄρχομαι· μανθάνειν ἀναγκάζομαι τὴν εὐδοκιμοῦσαν νῦν τῶν ἠθῶν ποικιλίαν, ὀψιμαθὴς κακοτροπίας καὶ τοιαύτης πανουργίας γινόμενος, 18.7 ὡς ἐνερυθριᾶν ἀεὶ τῇ ἀφυΐᾳ τοῦ πράγματος. οἱ δὲ ἀντιτεταγμένοι διδάσκαλοι τῆς σοφίας ταύτης εἰσὶν ἱκανοὶ καὶ φυλάξαι ὃ ἔμαθον καὶ ἐφευρεῖν ὃ οὐκ ἔμαθον· συστάδην πολεμοῦσι, πόρρωθεν ἀκροβολίζονται, ἐπὶ παρατάξεως καταπυκνοῦσι τὴν φάλαγγα, κατὰ τὸ ἀφανὲς προλοχίζονται, ταῖς ὑπερβολαῖς προκατέχουσι, τοὺς συμμάχους ἑαυτοῖς 18.8 πανταχόθεν προσπεριβάλλονται. πολὺς δὲ παρ' αὐτοῖς καὶ ἀκαταγώνιστος τῇ δυνάμει ὁ Μαμωνᾶς, εἰς στρατηγίαν προβεβλημένος ὥσπερ τις ἀγωνιστὴς περιδέξιος διπλῇ τῇ χειρὶ τοῦ ἰδίου στρατοῦ προμαχόμενος, πῇ μὲν δασμολογῶν τοὺς 18.9 ὑποχειρίους, πῇ δὲ βάλλων τοὺς προστυγχάνοντας. εἰ δὲ καὶ τὴν εἴσω ἡμῶν διαγωγὴν ἐξετάζοις, εὑρήσεις ἄλλα τοιαῦτα· οἰκίδιον πνιγηρὸν κρυμῷ καὶ ζόφῳ καὶ στενοχωρίᾳ καὶ πᾶσι τοῖς τοιούτοις καλοῖς εὐθηνούμενον, βίον ὑπὸ πάντων μωμοσκοπούμενον, φωνὴν καὶ βλέμμα καὶ ἱματίου περιβολὴν χειρός τε κίνησιν καὶ ποδῶν ποιὰν στάσιν καὶ πάντα πολυπραγμονούμενα, καὶ εἰ μὴ δασὺ τὸ ἆσθμα καὶ διὰ πολλοῦ προχεόμενον καὶ εἰ μὴ συνεκδίδοται στεναγμός τις τῷ ἄσθματι, καὶ εἰ μὴ διεκπίπτοι τῆς ζώνης ἡμῶν τὸ 18.10 χιτώνιον, καὶ αὐτὸ δὲ τὸ μὴ κεχρῆσθαι τῇ ζώνῃ, καὶ εἰ μὴ περιρρέοι κατὰ τὸ πλάγιον ἡμῶν ἡ διπλοῒς μηδὲ τοῖς ὤμοις τῶν ὀφρύων τὴν ἑτέραν ἐπισπάσαιμεν, ταῦτα πάντα μὴ γινόμενα πολεμούντων πρὸς ἡμᾶς ὑπόθεσις γίνεται, καὶ ἐπὶ τούτοις κατ' ἄνδρας καὶ δήμους καὶ ἐσχατιὰς πρὸς τὴν καθ' ἡμῶν μάχην συνίστανται. 18.11 Ἐπεὶ δὲ οὐκ ἔστι διὰ πάντων πράττειν καλῶς ἢ κακῶςμέμικται γὰρ ὡς ἐπὶ τὸ πολὺ διὰ τῶν ἐναντίων πᾶσιν ὁ βίος, εἰ δὴ τὸ σὸν ἡμῖν κατὰ θεοῦ χάριν διηνεκῶς παρείη, ὑποίσομεν τῶν παρόντων ἀηδῶν τὴν δαψίλειαν ἐπ' ἐλπίδι τοῦ τῆς σῆς ἀγαθότητος διὰ παντὸς μετέχειν. μή ποτε οὖν παύσαιο τοιαῦτα χαριζόμενος δι' ὧν καὶ ἡμᾶς ἀναπαύσεις καὶ σαυτῷ τὸν ἐπὶ ταῖς ἐντολαῖς μισθὸν πλείω παρασκευάσεις.

19.τ Πρός τινα Ἰωάννην περί τινων ὑποθέσεων καὶ περὶ τῆς διαγωγῆς καὶ

καταστάσεως τῆς τοιαύτης ἀδελφῆς αὐτοῦ Μακρίνησ