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for: "I wish that all people were as I myself am" in continence, again he says: "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they remain as I am." Therefore, again he puts himself forward for the same reason. For having the example near at hand and familiar, they would have more greatly ventured upon the labors of virginity. And if, when saying above, "I wish that all were as I myself am," and here, "it is good for them if they remain as I am," he nowhere adds the reason, do not be surprised. For he does not do this out of arrogance but considers his own judgment, with which he accomplished the matter, to be a sufficient reason.

37 That in second marriages there are many unpleasantnesses. But if someone should wish to hear arguments, let him first examine the opinion of all people, and then also the things that happen concerning the matter. For though legislators do not punish such marriages but permit and allow them, many things are said against them by many people, both in homes and in the marketplace, mocking, blaming, and turning away. For everyone shuns such people, so to speak, no less than those who break their oaths, neither daring to make them friends, nor to make agreements with them, nor to entrust anything else to them. For when they see them so easily casting out from their soul the memory of such great intimacy and friendship and companionship and partnership, a certain numbness from these thoughts is poured over them, and they would not approach them with all sincerity, as being fickle and inconsistent. And they do not turn away from them only for these reasons but also because of the very unpleasantness of what happens. For what is more disagreeable, tell me, than when after the great wailing and the laments and the tears and the unkempt hair and the black garment, suddenly there is applause and bridal chambers and a din opposite to the former, like actors playing on a stage and being now this, now that? For there too you might see the same person, at one time a king, at another the poorest of all. And here he who was formerly rolling about the tomb is suddenly a bridegroom; he who was tearing his hair, again wears a crown on the same head, he who was downcast and gloomy and often with many tears recounted praises of the departed to those who comforted him and said that life was unlivable for him, and grew angry with those who drew him away from his lament, often in the midst of these very things, he makes himself beautiful and adorns himself again and with those formerly tearful eyes, with these he looks upon the same people with laughter and with this mouth he shows kindness and greets everyone, through which he formerly forswore all these things. But the most pitiable thing of all is the war brought in upon the sons, the lioness brought in to live with the daughters; for this is the stepmother everywhere. From this comes the daily strife and battle, from this comes that strange and newer jealousy directed toward her who is no trouble. For the living both strike with envy and are struck, but with the dead even enemies make a truce. But not here; but the dust and the ash are objects of jealousy, and there is unspeakable hatred towards the one buried, and revilings and taunts and accusations against her who has been dissolved into earth; a truceless enmity towards her who has caused no grief. What could be worse than this irrationality, what than this cruelty? Having been wronged in nothing by the departed—what am I saying, wronged? While enjoying the fruits of her labors and reveling in her goods, she does not cease shadow-boxing against her; and her who has caused no grief, and often was never even seen by her, she assails with countless taunts each day and through her offspring takes vengeance on her who is no more, and often arms the husband against them, whenever she herself accomplishes nothing. But nevertheless all these things seemed easy and bearable to people, only so that they might not be compelled to bear the tyranny that comes from desire. But the virgin did not grow dizzy before this battle-line nor did she flee the

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γάρ· «Θέλω πάντας ἀνθρώπους εἶναι ὡς καὶ ἐμαυτὸν» ἐν ἐγκρατείᾳ, πάλιν φησί· «Λέγω δὲ τοῖς ἀγάμοις καὶ ταῖς χήραις, καλὸν αὐτοῖς ἐστιν ἐὰν μείνωσιν ὡς κἀγώ.» Πάλιν οὖν ἑαυτὸν τίθησι διὰ τὴν αὐτὴν αἰτίαν. Τὸ γὰρ παράδειγμα ἐγγύθεν ἔχοντες καὶ οἰκεῖον μειζόνως ἂν τῶν τῆς παρθενίας κατετόλμησαν πόνων. Εἰ δὲ καὶ ἀνωτέρω λέγων· «Θέλω πάντας εἶναι ὡς καὶ ἐμαυτόν», καὶ ἐνταῦθα· «Καλὸν αὐτοῖς ἐὰν μείνωσιν ὡς κἀγώ», οὐδαμοῦ τὴν αἰτίαν προστίθησι, μὴ θαυμάσῃς. Οὐ γὰρ ἀπαυθαδιζόμενος τοῦτο ποιεῖ ἀλλ' ἱκανὴν εἶναι νομίζων αἰτίαν τὴν αὑτοῦ γνώμην μεθ' ἧς τὸ πρᾶγμα κατώρθωσεν.

37 Ὅτι πολλαὶ ἐν τοῖς δευτέροις γάμοις αἱ ἀηδίαι. Εἰ δέ τις καὶ λογισμῶν ἀκοῦσαι ἐθέλοι, πρῶτον μὲν τὴν παρὰ πάντων τῶν ἀνθρώπων ἐξεταζέτω δόξαν, ἔπειτα καὶ τὰ περὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα συμβαίνοντα. Τῶν γὰρ νομοθετῶν τοὺς τοιούτους οὐ κολαζόντων γάμους ἀλλ' ἐπιτρεπόντων καὶ συγχωρούντων, πολλοὶ καὶ παρὰ πολλῶν ἔν τε οἰκίαις καὶ κατὰ τὴν ἀγορὰν κατ' αὐτῶν γίνονται λόγοι σκωπτόντων, μεμφομένων, ἀποστρεφομένων. Τῶν γὰρ τοὺς ὅρκους παραβαινόντων οὐχ ἧττον τοὺς τοιούτους ἅπαντες ἐκτρέπονται, ὡς εἰπεῖν, οὔτε φίλους ποιήσασθαι θαρροῦντες οὔτε συνθήκας θέσθαι πρὸς αὐτοὺς οὔτε ἄλλο πιστεῦσαι οὐδέν. Ὅταν γὰρ ἴδωσιν αὐτοὺς συνηθείας τοσαύτης καὶ φιλίας καὶ ὁμιλίας καὶ κοινωνίας τὴν μνήμην οὕτως εὐκόλως ἀπὸ τῆς αὐτῶν ψυχῆς ἐκβάλλοντας, νάρκη τις αὐτοῖς ἀπὸ τούτων καταχεῖται τῶν λογισμῶν καὶ οὐκ ἂν αὐτοὺς μετὰ πάσης προσίοιντο γνησιότητος ὡς εὐκόλους καὶ ἀλλοπροσάλλους. Οὐ διὰ ταῦτα δὲ μόνον αὐτοὺς ἀποστρέφονται ἀλλὰ καὶ δι' αὐτὴν τῶν γινομένων τὴν ἀηδίαν. Τί γὰρ ἀτερπέστερον, εἰπέ μοι, ἢ ὅταν μετὰ τὸν πολὺν κωκυτὸν καὶ τὰς οἰμωγὰς καὶ τὰ δάκρυα καὶ τὴν αὐχμηρὰν κόμην καὶ τὴν μέλαιναν στολὴν ἐξαίφνης κρότοι καὶ παστάδες γαμήλιοι καὶ θόρυβος ἀπ' ἐναντίας τῷ προτέρῳ, ὥσπερ ὑποκριτῶν ἐν σκηνῇ παιζόντων καὶ νῦν μὲν τοῦτο, νῦν δὲ ἐκεῖνο γινομένων; Καὶ γὰρ ἐκεῖ τὸν αὐτὸν ἴδοις ἂν ποτὲ μὲν βασιλέα, ποτὲ δὲ πάντων πενέστερον. Κἀνταῦθα ὁ πρώην περὶ τὸν τάφον ἐγκαλινδούμενος νυμφίος ἐξαίφνης· ὁ τὰς τρίχας τίλλων, στέφανον ἐπὶ τῆς αὐτῆς πάλιν φέρει κεφαλῆς, ὁ κατηφὴς καὶ στυγνὸς καὶ πολλὰ πολλάκις μετὰ δακρύων πρὸς τοὺς παρακαλοῦντας ἐγκώμια τῆς ἀπελθούσης διελθὼν καὶ τὸν βίον ἀβίωτον εἶναι φήσας αὐτῷ, καὶ πρὸς τοὺς ἀπάγοντας αὐτὸν τοῦ θρηνοῦ δυσχεράνας, πολλάκις μεταξὺ τούτων αὐτῶν ὡραΐζεται καὶ καλλωπίζεται πάλιν καὶ τοῖς πρώην δεδακρυμένοις ὀφθαλμοῖς, τούτοις μετὰ γέλωτος εἰς τοὺς αὐτοὺς ἐνορᾷ καὶ τῷ στόματι τούτῳ φιλοφρονεῖται καὶ ἀσπάζεται πάντας δι' οὗ πρώην ταῦτα πάντα ἐξώμνυτο. Τὸ δὲ πάντων ἐλεεινότερον ὁ τοῖς παισὶν ἐπεισαγόμενος πόλεμος, ἡ ταῖς θυγατράσιν συνοικιζομένη λέαινα· τοῦτο γὰρ ἡ μητρυιὰ πανταχοῦ. Ἐντεῦθεν ἡ καθημερινὴ στάσις καὶ μάχη, ἐντεῦθεν ὁ ξένος ἐκεῖνος καὶ καινότερος ζῆλος πρὸς τὴν οὐκ ἐνοχλοῦσαν γινόμενος. Οἱ μὲν γὰρ ζῶντες καὶ βάλλουσι τῷ φθόνῳ καὶ βάλλονται, πρὸς δὲ τοὺς τετελευτηκότας καὶ οἱ πολέμιοι σπένδονται. Ἀλλ' οὐκ ἐνταῦθα ἀλλὰ ζηλοτυπεῖται ἡ κόνις καὶ ἡ τέφρα καὶ μῖσος πρὸς τὴν κατορωρυγμένην ἄφατον καὶ λοιδορίαι καὶ σκώμματα καὶ κατηγορίαι πρὸς τὴν διαλυθεῖσαν εἰς γῆν· ἔχθρα ἄσπονδος πρὸς τὴν λελυπηκυῖαν οὐδέν. Τί ταύτης γένοιτ' ἂν τῆς ἀλογίας χεῖρον, τί τῆς ὠμότητος; Οὐδὲν παρὰ τῆς ἀπελθούσης ἠδικημένη-τί λέγω ἠδικημένη; Τοὺς πόνους μὲν αὐτῆς καρπουμένη καὶ τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς ἐντρυφῶσα τοῖς ἐκείνης οὐ παύεται σκιαμαχοῦσα πρὸς αὐτήν· καὶ τὴν οὐδὲν λελυπηκυῖαν, πολλάκις δὲ οὐδὲ ὀφθεῖσαν αὐτῇ ποτε, μυρίοις καθ' ἑκάστην ἡμέραν βάλλει σκώμμασι καὶ διὰ τῶν ἐκείνης ἐγγόνων τὴν οὐκέτ' οὖσαν ἀμύνεται καὶ τὸν ἄνδρα πολλάκις ὁπλίζει κατ' αὐτῶν, ὅταν αὐτὴ μηδὲν ἀνύῃ. Ἀλλ' ὅμως ἅπαντα ταῦτα ῥᾷστα καὶ φορητὰ τοῖς ἀνθρώποις ἔδοξεν εἶναι, μόνον ἵνα μὴ τὴν ἀπὸ τῆς ἐπιθυμίας φέρειν ἀναγκάζωνται τυραννίδα. Ἀλλ' οὐχ ἡ παρθένος πρὸς ταύτην ἰλιγγίασε τὴν παράταξιν οὐδὲ ἔφυγε τὴν