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to what works, to what actions shall I use at all these awesome and divine things. Grant me both to speak and to do what I say, O my Creator and Maker and God! For if what I speak, I do not fulfill in deed, I have become a resounding bronze, vainly making great noises, and insensible to the sound of the blows; but do not leave nor forsake, nor allow me to wander, my Savior, the miserable, poor, and stranger, who owes you ten thousand talents, but just as before, so now you separated me, a sinner and more insignificant than all these, from every paternal inheritance, from father, brothers, mother, my own, strangers, and all other relatives and friends, O Savior, and you received into your immaculate arms the one who appeared ungrateful to your good things. So also now have mercy on me, O merciful One, so, or rather, more greatly, O my God, and have compassion and protect me and calm the movements of my anger and make me able to bear with long-suffering (47) every temptation and sorrow of life, whatever I with evil mind procure for myself, whatever the envious nature of demons tempts, and what the weak ones among these my brothers procure for me by deed or by word: alas, woe is me, because my own members consume me, and I am pained because of these very things again. I am led by my feet, though I have been allotted to be the head, and I walk barefoot and I am pierced by thorns and I feel very great pain, not bearing the pain: one of my feet goes forward and another turns backward again; from here and there they drag, they pull me and I am tripped up and I fall down. Therefore I am not strong enough to follow all of them; to lie down is bad and to walk thus is worse than lying down, as it is truly terrible, as surpassing all other misfortunes. Lord, grant me compunction and mourning

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εἰς ποῖα ἔργα, εἰς ποίας ταῦτα πράξεις ὅλως χρήσωμαι τά φρικτά τε καί θεῖα. ∆ός μοι καί λαλεῖν καί πράττειν, ἅπερ λέγω, ὦ δημιουργέ καί πλαστά καί Θεέ μου! Εἰ γάρ, ἅ λαλῶ, οὐκ ἐκπληρῶ ἐξ ἔργου, γέγονα χαλκός ἠχῶν μάτην μεγάλα καί ἀναισθητῶν πρός τήν ἠχήν τῶν κτύπων˙ ἀλλά μή ἀφῇς μηδέ ἐγκαταλίπῃς, μηδέ πλανᾶσθαι ἐάσῃς με, Σωτήρ μου, καί ταλαίπωρον, τόν πτωχόν τε καί ξένον, τόν μυρία σοι τάλαντα χρεωστοῦντα, ἀλλ᾿ ὥσπερ πάλαι, καί νῦν πατρῴας πάσης, πατρός, ἀδελφῶν, μητρός, ἰδίων, ξένων καί ἄλλων πάντων συγγενῶν τε καί φίλων ἀπεχώρισας ἁμαρτωλόν με ὄντα καί πάντων τούτων εὐτελέστερον, Σῶτερ, καί προσελάβου σαῖς ἀχράντοις ἀγκάλαις τόν ἀγνώμονα φανέντα τοῖς καλοῖς σου. Οὕτω καί νῦν με ἐλέησον, οἰκτίρμον, οὕτω μᾶλλον δέ μειζόνως, ὦ Θεέ μου, καί σπλαχνίσθητι καί περιφύλαξόν με καί τοῦ θυμοῦ μου πράϋνον τάς κινήσεις καί ἱκάνωσον τοῦ μακροθύμως φέρειν (47) πάντα πειρασμόν καί λύπην τήν τοῦ βίου, ὅσα ἐμαυτῷ προξενῶ κακοφρόνως, ὅσα δαιμόνων πειράζει φθονερά φύσις καί οἱ ἀσθενεῖς τούτων τῶν ἀδελφῶν μου ἔργῳ μοι, λόγῳ προξενοῦσι˙ φεὐ, οἴμοι, ὅτι τά ἐμά μέλη με δαπανῶσι, καί ὀδυνῶμαι δι᾿ αὐτά ταῦτα πάλιν. Ἄγομαι ποσί κεφαλή λαχών εἶναι, καί γυμνοποδῶ καί ἀκάνθαις κεντοῦμαι καί σφόδρα ἀλγῶ τήν ὀδύνην μή φέρων˙ τοῖς ἔμπροσθεν εἷς τῶν ἐμῶν ποδῶν βαίνει καί εἰς τοὐπίσω στρέφεται πάλιν ἄλλος˙ ἔνθεν κἀκεῖθεν σύρουσιν, ἕλκουσί με καί περισκελίζομαι καί πίπτω κάτω. Ἀκολουθεῖν οὖν οὐκ ἰσχύω τοῖς πᾶσι˙ τό κεῖσθαι κακόν καί τό ὁδεύειν οὕτως χεῖρον πέλει τοῦ κεῖσθαι, ὡς δεινόν ὄντως, ὡς πάσας ἄλλας συμφοράς ὑπερβαῖνον. Κύριε, δός μοι κατάνυξιν καί πένθος