24

having been solidified, and I flow through a fleeting life, to be un-flowing. But if the stream is not entirely silver, but virtue is mixed with worse things, and the mixture is disorderly, how is it virtue, consider these things. For indeed I turn my swift mind this way and that in my breast. The nature of snow is cold and silver, but the nature of fire is golden and hot, and these things are not mixable. And its force was dissolved before it could be mixed. But how did shame come upon virtue, dishonoring the image, 669 the image of the great God, O sin that delights in evil, if I am truly of God, and I profess to be your portion. I hear of the beautiful stream of Alpheus, how it goes through the bitter sea, a great wonder, a sweet stream, and the defilement is not mixed in. Defilement is the mist of the air, and sickness of the limbs; but of virtue, it is our night. Often I have lifted my foot towards the ether, and heavy, consuming care has cast me to the ground; and often again I have beheld the pure light of the Godhead, but some cloud came between, and the great radiance was hidden, and it tore me, as it fled when it was near. What is this envy? or is it the law of a mortal to ever long for what is longed for, or is this better 670 for me, to seize with toil, and with toil to guard it, for that is lasting, which the mind has labored for. And often again the enemy has deprived me of the distinction between good and evil, like some cunning beast placing its tracks upon tracks, so that it might lead the hunter of the good astray with its wiles. At one time the flesh commands what is dear to me, at another, the command, at another, God, at another, envy, at one time, time, at another, eternity. And I do what I hate, and I rejoice exceedingly in evils. And I laugh a terrible fate within my inward parts, a sardonic, evil-rejoicing laugh, since even destruction is pleasant. Now I am lowly, now again lofty; dishonoring insolence today, but insolent tomorrow; different at different times, like some octopus changing its color to the rocks; 671 pouring hot tears, but sin did not flow away with them. And some things I have emptied out, but others I gather again from within with other sins, and I have thrown away the healing remedies. In the flesh I am a virgin, but whether in my mind, I do not know for sure. Shame covered my eye, but my shameless mind refused, keen-sighted for strange evils, but dark to its own. Heavenly in my words, I am earthly in my heart, both calm and serene; but if even a small breeze should blow, I rise up with swelling waves, nor does the roaring cease before a calm comes to be. And then for anger to fall, is no great wonder. And often one running well with the best hopes, and already stretching beyond the midpoint of virtue, 672 the destructive enemy has suddenly set him back under his forefeet, like one treading upon sand, which is stolen away from before by unsteady tracks; Again I go up, and again I go backward. Even more ill-fated than before, always journeying, always having great fear, I have walked with difficulty, and I have slipped quickly. My life is long, and I do not wish for life's release, longing for a cure, but the cure is far from me, gathering more evil with more days. Therefore let this doctrine be fixed for our race: First is the pure nature of the Trinity; then, the Angelic; and third is I, a mortal, wavering, 673 standing between life and grievous death, having a contentious end, but a laborious one, if I have opened even a little the gates of this evil life. For thus God has commanded to be the contest of my mind. And he is best, who amidst many evils bears few images of wickedness, and strives upward with the hand of the great God, bearing a fervent love for virtue, and turning his back on wickedness. Like a river's stream forced into another channel, rough, and muddy, and wild, but if it should be mixed, concealing the muddy stream with a greater, pure one; this is the virtue of a composite being, but the greater part belongs to the heavenly. But if anyone being here has seen God, or has run to the Lord, 674 having lifted his heavy flesh from hence to heaven, this is the gift of God. But let measures be imposed on mortals. But come, I will put this word in your mind, how you might reach the goal of great virtue, which alone is a pure sacrifice to the pure one. Not here, I think. For here there is much smoke poured over the eyes; But I am content, if I might then leave behind tearful evils. Not as the gift of the great God was then made, the Image

24

παγεῖσα, Καὶ ῥευστοῦ βιότοιο διεκρέω, ἔμμεν' ἄρευστον. Εἰ δ' οὐκ ἀργύρεος πάντη ῥόος, ἀλλ' ἐπίμικτος Ἔστι χειροτέροις ἀρετὴ, καὶ μίξις ἄκοσμος, Πῶς ἀρετὴ τελέθει, τάδε φράζεο. Καὶ γὰρ ἔγωγε Τῇ καὶ τῇ νόον ὠκὺν ἐπὶ στήθεσσιν ἑλίσσω. Ψυχρὴ μὲν χιόνος φύσις ἔπλετο, ἀργυρέη τε Ξανθὴ δ' αὖ θερμή τε πυρὸς φύσις, οὐδ' ἐπίμικτα Ταῦτα πέλει. Ἐλύθη δὲ βίη πάρος, ἢ ἀνεμίχθη. Τῇ δ' ἀρετῇ πῶς αἶσχος ἐπήλυθεν εἰκόν' ἀτίζον, 669 Εἰκόνα τὴν μεγάλοιο Θεοῦ, κακόχαρτος ἁμαρτὰς, Εἰ ἐτεὸν Θεός εἰμι, λάχος δὲ σὸν εὔχομαι εἶναι. Πυνθάνομ' Ἀλφειοῖο καλὸν ῥόον, ὡς διὰ πικρῆς Ἔρχεθ' ἁλὸς, μέγα θαῦμα, γλυκὺς ῥόος, οὐδ' ἐπίμικτος Ἡ λώβη τελέθει. Λώβη δέ τε ἠέρος ἀχλὺς, Καὶ νοῦσος μελέων· ἀρετῆς δέ τε, ἡμετέρη νύξ. Πολλάκι ταρσὸν ἄειρα πρὸς αἰθέρα, καί με βαρεῖα Τηκεδανή τε μέριμνα χαμαὶ βάλε· πολλάκι δ' αὖτε Αὐγασάμην θεότητος ἁγνὸν φάος, ἀλλὰ μέσον τι Ἦλθε νέφος, κρύφθη δὲ σέλας μέγα, καί μ' ἐδάϊξεν, Ὡς φύγεν ἐγγὺς ἐόντα. Τίς ὁ φθόνος; ἢ ποθέεσθαι Αἰὲν ἐμοὶ ποθέει θνητοῦ νόμος, ἢ τόδ' ἄμεινον 670 Ἔστιν ἐμοὶ, μόχθῳ μὲν ἑλεῖν, μόχθῳ δὲ φυλάξαι, Τοῦτο γὰρ ἔμπεδόν ἐστιν, ὃ νοῦς κάμε. Πολλάκι δ' αὖτε Ἐσθλοῦ τ' ἠδὲ κακοῖο διάκρισιν ἐχθρὸς ἄμερσεν, Ὡς θὴρ κερδαλέος τις ἐπ' ἴχνεσιν ἴχνια βάλλων, Ὥς κεν θηρητῆρα καλοῦ πλάξειε δόλοισιν. Ἄλλοτι σὰρξ μὲν ἄνωξεν ἐμοὶ φίλον, ἄλλο δ' ἐφετμὴ, Ἄλλο Θεὸς, φθόνος ἄλλο, χρόνος τὸ μὲν, ἄλλο τι δ' αἰών. Ἔρδω δ', ὃ στυγέω, καὶ ἀμφιγέγηθα κακοῖσι. Καὶ γελόω μόρον αἰνὸν ἐνὶ σπλάγχνοισιν ἐμοῖσι, Σαρδάνιον, κακόχαρτον, ἐπεὶ καὶ τερπνὸς ὄλεθρος. Νῦν χθαμαλὸς, νῦν αὖτε μετήορος· ὕβριν ἀτίζων Σήμερον, ὑβριστὴς δ' ἄρ' ἐς αὔριον· ἄλλος ἐν ἄλλοις Καιροῖς, πουλυπόδης τις ἐειδόμενος χρόα πέτραις· 671 ∆άκρυα θερμὰ χέων, ἡ δ' οὐ συνέρευσεν ἁμαρτάς. Καὶ τὰ μὲν ἐξεκένωσα, τὰ δ' ἔνδοθεν αὖθις ἀγείρω Ἄλλαις ἀμπλακίῃσιν, ἄκους δέ τε φάρμακα ῥίψα. Σάρκεσι παρθένος εἰμὶ, καὶ εἰ φρεσὶν, οὐ σάφα οἶδα. Αἰδὼς ὄμμ' ἐκάλυψε, νόος δ' ἀνένευσεν ἀναιδὴς, Ὀξυφαὴς ξείνοισι κακοῖς, ἰδίοις δέ τ' ἀφεγγής. Οὐράνιος μύθοισιν, ἐπιχθόνιος πραπίδεσσιν Εἰμὶ, γαληνιόων τε, καὶ εὔδιος· εἰ δ' ἄρ' ἀήτης Καὶ τυτθὸς πνεύσειεν, ἀνίσταμαι οἰδαλέοισι Κύμασιν, οὐδ' ἀπέληξε ῥόθος πάρος, ἠὲ γενέσθαι Νηνεμίην. Τῆμος δὲ πεσεῖν χόλον, οὐ μέγα θαῦμα. Πολλάκι δ' εὐδρομέοντα σὺν ἐλπωρῇσιν ἀρίσταις, Ἤδη καὶ μεσάτης ἀρετῆς ὑπερεκτείνοντα, 672 Ἐξαπίνης παλίνορσον ὑπὸ προπόδεσσιν ἔθηκεν, Ὥς τε κατὰ ψαμάθοιο φέρων πόδα λοίγιος ἐχθρὸς, Κλεπτομένης προπάροιθεν ὑπ' ἴχνεσιν ἀστατέουσιν· Αὖθις ἀνέρχομ' ἔγωγε, καὶ ἔμπαλιν ἔρχομ' ὀπίσσω. Πλεῖον ἔτ' ἢ τοπάροιθε δυσάμμορος, αἰὲν ὁδεύων, Αἰὲν ἔχων μέγα τάρβος, ἔβην μόγις, ὦκα δ' ὄλισθον. Μακρός μοι βίος ἐστὶ, καὶ οὐκ ἐθέλω βιότοιο Λύσιν, ἄκος ποθέων, ἄκος δέ τε τῆλ' ἀπ' ἐμεῖο, Ἤμασι πλειοτέροισι πλέον κακότητος ἀγείρων. Τοὔνεκεν ἡμετέρῃ γενεῇ τόδε δόγμα πεπήχθω· Πρώτη μὲν Τριάδος καθαρὴ φύσις· αὐτὰρ ἔπειτα, Ἀγγελική· τριτάτη δ' ἄρ' ἐγὼ βροτὸς, ἀμφιτάλαντος, Μεσσηγὺ ζωῆς τε καὶ ἀργαλέου θανάτοιο 673 Ἑστηὼς, ἐρίδωρον ἔχων τέλος, ἀλλ' ἐπίμοχθον, Εἰ καὶ μικρὸν ἔῳξα κακοῦ βιότοιο θύρετρα. Ὧδε Θεὸς γὰρ ἄνωξεν ἐμῆς φρενὸς ἔμμεν' ἄεθλον. Κεῖνος δ' ἐστὶν ἄριστος, ὃς ἐν πλεόνεσσι κακοῖσι Βαιὰ φέρει κακίης ἰνδάλματα, καὶ πρὸς ἄναντες Σπεύδει σὺν μεγάλοιο Θεοῦ χερὶ, θερμὸν ἔρωτα Τῆς ἀρετῆς φορέων, κακίης δέ τε νῶτα διώκων. Ὥς τε ῥόος ποταμοῖο βιώμενος ἄλλο ῥέεθρον Τρηχαλέον, θολερόν τε καὶ ἄγριον, εἰ δὲ μιγείη, Κρύπτων πλειοτέρῳ καθαρῷ ῥόον ἰλυόεντα· Ἥδ' ἀρετὴ πλεκτοῖο, τὸ δὲ πλέον οὐρανιώνων. Εἰ δέ τις ἐνθάδ' ἐὼν Θεὸν ἔδρακεν, ἢ πρὸς ἄνακτα 674 Ἔδραμε σάρκα βαρεῖαν ἐς οὐρανὸν ἔνθεν ἀείρας, Τοῦτο Θεοῦ γέρας ἐστί. Βροτοῖς δέ τε μέτρ' ἐπικείσθω. Εἰ δ' ἄγε τοι καὶ τοῦτον ἐγὼ λόγον ἐν φρεσὶ θήσω, Πῶς κεν τῆς μεγάλης ἀρετῆς ἐπὶ τέλσον ἵκηαι, Ἣ μούνη καθαρῷ καθαρὸν θύος. Οὐ μὲν ὀΐω Ἐνθάδε. Πουλύχοος γὰρ ἐπ' ὄμμασιν ἐνθάδε καπνός· Στέργω δ', εἴ κεν ἔπειτα λίπω κακὰ δακρυόεντα. Οὐκ οἶον μεγάλοιο Θεοῦ τότε δῶρον ἐτύχθη, Εἰκόνα