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bound by a vote but being free both to choose this and that; but in that case, the one who is no longer her own master to consort with another bridegroom, but has entered into the contests of continence. For it is possible to be a widow and not be enrolled into the rank of widows, when she has not yet accepted this. Wherefore he himself says: “Let a widow be enrolled, being not less than sixty years old, the wife of one husband.” For the one who is simply a widow he permits to marry if she wishes, but the one who has promised God to remain a widow always, and then married, he condemns severely because she has broken her covenants with God. Therefore, it is not to these but to those that he says: “But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.” Do you see that marriage is nowhere admired for its own sake, but because of fornications, because of temptations, because of incontinence? For above he lays down all these things, but here, since he has assailed them severely with reproaches, he again calls the same thing by more delicate words, naming it a conflagration and a burning. And not even here did he forbear to pass by without striking the hearer. For he did not say: if they suffer some violence from desire, if they are overcome, if they are not able. Nothing of that sort which belongs to those who suffer and are worthy of pardon. But what? “But if they cannot exercise self-control,” which belongs to those who are unwilling to act because of sloth. For he shows that although they are masters of the matter, they do not achieve it because they are not willing to labor. But yet, not even so does he punish them nor make them liable to penalties, but having deprived them of praises only, he shows severity as far as censure through words, nowhere mentioning procreation, the specious and venerable cause of marriage, but allows the matter because of burning and incontinence and fornication and satanic temptation, and so that these things may not happen. And what of this? he says; for as long as it frees one from punishment, we will easily bear all condemnation and all reproaches; only let it be permitted to live luxuriously and continually to enjoy desire. What then, my good man, if it is not even permitted to live luxuriously, shall we reap only reproach? And how, he says, is it not permitted to live luxuriously when Paul says: “But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry?” But hear also what is added to this. You have learned that it is better to marry than to burn; you have accepted what is pleasant, you have praised the concession, you have admired the apostle for his condescension; but do not stop here, receive also what comes after these things; for both commands are from the same one. What then does he say after these things? “But to the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband; but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband; and that the husband should not leave his wife.”

40 That the servitude of marriage is great and inescapable. What then if the husband is gentle, but the wife is wicked, abusive, talkative, extravagant, this common disease of them all, and full of many other evils, how will that wretched man bear this daily unpleasantness, the pride, the shamelessness? What, again, if on the contrary she is orderly and quiet, but he is insolent, contemptuous, wrathful, clothed with much arrogance from his wealth, and much from his power, and treats his free wife as a slave and is disposed no better toward her than to the maidservants, how will she bear such great compulsion and violence? What, again, if he continually turns away from her and persists in doing this always? Endure, he says, all this servitude; for when he dies, then only will you be free, but while he is alive one of two things is necessary, either to train him with much diligence and make him better or, if this is impossible, to bear nobly the undeclared war and the truceless battle. And above he said: “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement.” But here he commands her, having been separated even against her will, to be continent henceforth; “Let her remain,” for he says, “unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.” Do you see her caught in the middle of two wars? For she must either endure the violence from desire, or

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ψήφῳ προσδεδεμένην ἀλλ' ἐλευθέραν οὖσαν καὶ τοῦτο ἑλέσθαι κἀκεῖνο· ἐκεῖ δὲ τὴν οὐκέτι κυρίαν οὖσαν ἑτέρῳ πάλιν ὁμιλῆσαι νυμφίῳ, ἀλλ' εἰς τοὺς τῆς ἐγκρατείας ἐμβεβηκυῖαν ἀγῶνας. Ἔστι γὰρ καὶ χήραν εἶναι καὶ μὴ καταλέγεσθαι εἰς τὸ τῶν χηρῶν ἀξίωμα, ὅταν μηδέπω ᾖ τοῦτο καταδεξαμένη. ∆ιὸ καὶ αὐτός φησι· «Χήρα καταλεγέσθω μὴ ἔλαττον ἐτῶν ἑξήκοντα γεγονυῖα, ἑνὸς ἀνδρὸς γυνή.» Τὴν μὲν γὰρ ἁπλῶς χήραν ἀφίησι γαμεῖν εἰ βούλοιτο, τὴν δὲ ἐπαγγειλαμένην τῷ Θεῷ χηρεύειν διὰ παντός, εἶτα γαμηθεῖσαν, καταδικάζει σφοδρῶς ὅτι τὰς πρὸς τὸν Θεὸν συνθήκας ἐπάτησεν. Οὐ ταύταις οὖν ἀλλ' ἐκείναις φησίν· «Εἰ δὲ οὐκ ἐγκρατεύονται, γαμησάτωσαν· κρεῖττον γάρ ἐστι γαμῆσαι ἢ πυροῦσθαι.» Ὁρᾷς οὐδαμοῦ τὸν γάμον καθ' ἑαυτὸν θαυμαζόμενον ἀλλὰ διὰ τὰς πορνείας, διὰ τοὺς πειρασμούς, διὰ τὴν ἀκρασίαν; Ἄνω μὲν γὰρ ταῦτα ἅπαντα τίθησιν, ἐνταῦθα δὲ ἐπειδὴ σφόδρα αὐτῶν καθήψατο τοῖς ὀνείδεσι, ῥήμασιν εὐφημοτέροις πάλιν τὸ αὐτὸ πρᾶγμα καλεῖ, ἐμπρησμὸν αὐτὸ καὶ πύρωσιν ὀνομάζων. Καὶ οὐδὲ ἐνταῦθα ἠνέσχετο μὴ πλήξας τὸν ἀκροατὴν παρελθεῖν. Οὐ γὰρ εἶπεν· εἰ δὲ βίαν τινὰ πάσχουσιν ὑπὸ τῆς ἐπιθυμίας, εἰ δὲ περιτρέπονται, εἰ δὲ μὴ δύνανται. Οὐδὲν τοιοῦτον ὃ τῶν πασχόντων ἐστὶ καὶ συγγνώμης ἀξίων. Ἀλλὰ τί; «Εἰ δὲ οὐκ ἐγκρατεύονται», ὃ τῶν οὐκ ἐθελόντων ἐστὶν ἐνεργεῖν διὰ τὴν ῥαθυμίαν. ∆είκνυσι γὰρ ὅτι κύριοι ὄντες τοῦ πράγματος παρὰ τὸ μὴ βούλεσθαι πονεῖν οὐκ ἀνύουσιν. Ἀλλ' ὅμως οὐδὲ οὕτως αὐτοὺς κολάζει οὐδὲ τιμωρίας ὑπευθύνους ποιεῖ, ἀλλ' ἐπαίνων ἀποστερήσας μόνον μέχρι τοῦ διὰ τῶν ῥημάτων ψόγου τὴν σφοδρότητα ἐπιδείκνυται, παιδοποιΐας μὲν οὐδαμοῦ μεμνημένος τῆς εὐπροσώπου καὶ σεμνῆς αἰτίας τοῦ γάμου, πυρώσεως δὲ καὶ ἀκρασίας καὶ πορνείας καὶ πείρας σατανικῆς καὶ ὑπὲρ τοῦ ταῦτα μὴ γίνεσθαι τὸ πρᾶγμα συγχωρῶν. Καὶ τί τοῦτο; φησίν· ἕως γὰρ ἂν αὐτὸ τιμωρίας ἀπαλλάττῃ, πᾶσαν κατάγνωσιν καὶ πάντα ὀνείδη εὐκόλως οἴσομεν· μόνον ἐξέστω τρυφᾶν καὶ συνεχῶς ἀπολαύειν ἐπιθυμίας. Τί οὖν, ὦ βέλτιστε, ἂν μηδὲ τρυφᾶν ἐξῇ, ὀνειδισμὸν καρπωσόμεθα μόνον; Καὶ πῶς, φησίν, οὐκ ἔξεστι τρυφᾶν τοῦ Παύλου λέγοντος· «Εἰ δὲ οὐκ ἐγκρατεύονται, γαμησατώσαν;» Ἀλλ' ἄκουε καὶ τὰ προσκείμενα τούτῳ. Ἔμαθες ὅτι κρεῖττον τὸ γαμῆσαι ἢ πυροῦσθαι· ἀπεδέξω τὸ ἡδύ, ἐπῄνεσας τὴν συγχώρησιν, ἐθαύμασας τῆς συγκαταβάσεως τὸν ἀπόστολον· ἀλλὰ μὴ στῇς μέχρι τούτου, δέχου καὶ τὰ μετὰ ταῦτα· τοῦ γὰρ αὐτοῦ ἀμφότερα τὰ παραγγέλματα. Τί οὖν μετὰ ταῦτά φησιν; «Τοῖς δὲ γεγαμηκόσι παραγγέλλω, οὐκ ἐγὼ ἀλλ' ὁ κύριος, γυναῖκα ἀπὸ ἀνδρὸς μὴ χωρισθῆναι· ἐὰν δὲ καὶ χωρισθῇ, μενέτω ἄγαμος, ἢ τῷ ἀνδρὶ καταλλαγήτω· καὶ ἄνδρα γυναῖκα μὴ ἀφιέναι.»

40 Ὅτι πολλὴ ἡ τοῦ γάμου δουλεία καὶ ἀπαραίτητος. Τί οὖν ἐὰν μὲν ὁ ἀνὴρ ἐπιεικὴς ᾖ, ἡ δὲ γυνὴ μοχθηρά, λοίδορος, λάλος, πολυτελής, τὸ κοινὸν τοῦτο πασῶν αὐτῶν νόσημα, ἑτέρων πλειόνων γέμουσα κακῶν, πῶς οἴσει τὴν καθημερινὴν ταύτην ἀηδίαν ἐκεῖνος ὁ δείλαιος, τὸν τῦφον. τὴν ἀναισχυντίαν; Τί δαί, ἂν τοὐναντίον αὐτὴ μὲν ᾖ κοσμία καὶ ἥσυχος, ἐκεῖνος δὲ θρασύς, ὑπεροπτικός, ὀργίλος, πολὺν μὲν ἀπὸ τῶν χρημάτων, πολὺν δὲ ἀπὸ τῆς δυναστείας ὄγκον περιβεβλημένος, καὶ τὴν ἐλευθέραν ὡς δούλην ἔχει καὶ τῶν θεραπαινίδων μηδὲν ἄμεινον πρὸς αὐτὴν διάκειται, πῶς οἴσει τὴν τοσαύτην ἀνάγκην καὶ βίαν; Τί δαί, ἂν συνεχῶς αὐτὴν ἀποστρέφηται καὶ διὰ παντὸς μένῃ τοῦτο ποιῶν; Καρτέρει, φησίν, πᾶσαν ταύτην τὴν δουλείαν· ὅταν γὰρ ἀποθάνῃ, τότε ἐλευθέρα ἔσῃ μόνον, ζῶντος δὲ δυοῖν θάτερον ἀνάγκη, ἢ παιδαγωγεῖν αὐτὸν μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς σπουδῆς καὶ βελτίω ποιεῖν ἤ, εἰ τοῦτο ἀδύνατον, φέρειν γενναίως τὸν ἀκήρυκτον πόλεμον καὶ τὴν ἄσπονδον μάχην. Καὶ ἀνωτέρω μὲν ἔλεγε· «Μὴ ἀποστερεῖτε ἀλλήλους εἰ μή τι ἂν ἐκ συμφώνου.» Ἐνταῦθα δὲ χωρισθεῖσαν αὐτὴν καὶ ἄκουσαν ἐγκρατεύεσθαι κελεύει λοιπόν· «Μενέτω», γάρ φησιν, «ἄγαμος ἢ τῷ ἀνδρὶ καταλλαγήτω.» Ὁρᾷς αὐτὴν ἐν μέσῳ δυοῖν ἀπειλημμένην πολέμων; Ἢ γὰρ τὴν ἀπὸ τῆς ἐπιθυμίας βίαν χρὴ καρτερεῖν ἢ