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When it comes for similar things, I am tormented until the next 76 day. And would that the matter had stopped only at pains; but the worms are born from me, and they consume my body, and I discharge such pungent ichors that, if I should lack a potsherd, and then should wish to receive them with a clod of earth, they melt the clods themselves by the intensity of their pungency. Why then do I endure these things? and hoping to live a long life, do I expect some change? But even this is short, however long it may be, and it passes away faster than the swiftest runner hurrying to the goal. And much time has already passed with no good hope having appeared. And having constructed his argument thus, he allowed us to understand that he did not wrongly long for death, being deemed worthy to obtain not even a little rest. Then, leaving the discourse with his friends, he turns in the middle to prayer and says: 7, 7 Remember then, that my life is a breath and my eye will no longer return to see good. David also prayed similar things, saying: Spare me, that I may recover my strength, before I depart and be no more. And "my life is a breath" means: wind, nothing. And "and my eye will no longer return to see good," since one can no longer receive the things that have passed. But not being ignorant of the mystery of the resurrection, he says these things, as we will show in what follows, but that he who has once died can no longer return to this life, even if some were raised through some mystery. 77 7, 810 The eye that sees me shall look for me no more, your eyes are upon me, and I am no more, like a cloud that has cleared from the sky. For if a man goes down to Hades, he will never come up again, nor will he ever return again to his own house, nor will his place know him any more. And thus, he says, so swift is the end of life, that those who see me today will certainly not see me tomorrow; for as soon as you will it, I have perished—for this is what "your eyes are upon me" means—and I am like a cloud that has been dispersed and has lost its own substance. For he who has once died will not return to his own house nor will he be recognized doing his usual things; for this is what is meant by "nor will his place know him any more." 7, 11 Therefore I will not spare my mouth, being in distress of my spirit, I will speak, being constrained by the bitterness of my soul, I will open my mouth. Therefore, he says, I will not keep quiet, but being constrained, I will pray and supplicate. And he puts forth his present distresses and his embittered soul and the lowliness of his nature for supplication. 7, 12 Am I a sea, or a dragon, that you have set a guard over me? Consider, he says, O Master, that I am not some great and extraordinary thing among your creations, such as the sea or a sea monster, but a lowly and small one, and I grow weak being encompassed by so many calamities. And just as, he 78 says, you enclosed the sea and the sea monsters in it with boundaries, which they do not cross, so you have surrounded me with calamities, from which I find no way to escape. Then, also calling upon God for compassion, he adds: 7, 1314 I said that: my bed will comfort me, and I will have a private word with myself on my couch; you frighten me with dreams and you terrify me with visions. For at the very time of repose, when I expect to reflect a little with my thoughts and to get some sleep and to rest, dreadful dreams come upon me. And this happens especially and naturally to those who are tempted during the day, as the wise Ecclesiastes somewhere said: that a dream comes in a multitude of temptations. And it is likely that the devil also, by showing certain terrifying phantoms, would frighten him and disturb him during sleep. But this blessed one, not yet having been fully informed that he was demanded by the devil, thinks that God is bringing both these things and the torments upon him. 7, 1516 You will separate my soul from my spirit, and my bones from death. For I will not live forever, that I should be patient. I beseech you therefore, take my soul and free me from the pain through death; for you have not made me eternal, that I should now bear the pains, the

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ἐλθούσης ἐπὶ τοῖς ὁμοίοις κατεξετάζομαι μέχρι τῆς ἑτέρας 76 ἡμέρας. καὶ εἴθε μέχρις ὀδυνῶν εἱστήκει τὸ πρᾶγμα· ἀλλ' οἱ σκώληκες τίκτονται μὲν ἐξ ἐμοῦ, τὸ δὲ ἐμὸν καταδαπανῶσι σῶμα, καὶ οὕτω δριμεῖς ἰχῶρας ἐκρέω ὡς, ἐὰν ὀστράκου διαπορήσω, εἶτα ἐθελήσω βώλῳ τούτους ὑποδέξασθαι, αὐτὰς τήκουσι τὰς βώλους τῷ σφοδρῷ τῆς δριμύτητος. τί οὖν ταῦτα μὲν ὑπομένω; μακρὸν δὲ ἐλπίζων διάγειν βίον προσδοκῶ τινα μεταβολήν; ἀλλὰ καὶ οὗτός ἐστιν ὀλίγος, ὅσος ἂν ᾖ, καὶ θᾶττον ὠκυτάτου δρομέως πρὸς τὸ τέρμα ἐπειγομένου παρερχόμενος. πολὺς δὲ ἤδη καὶ παρῴχηκε χρόνος χρηστῆς ἐλπίδος οὐδεμιᾶς ὑποφανείσης. οὕτω δὲ κατασκευάσας τὸν λόγον ἡμῖν ἀφῆκεν ἐννοεῖν, ὡς οὐκ ἐσφαλμένως ἐπόθει τὸν θάνατον μηδὲ μικρᾶς ἀξιούμενος τυχεῖν ἀναπαύσεως. εἶτα ἐάσας τὴν πρὸς τοὺς φίλους διάλεξιν εἰς εὐχὴν διὰ μέσου τρέπεται καί φησιν· 7, 7 μνήσθητι οὖν, ὅτι πνεῦμά μου ἡ ζωὴ καὶ οὐκέτι ἐπανελεύσεται ὁ ὀφθαλμός μου ἰδεῖν ἀγαθόν. ὅμοια καὶ ὁ ∆αυὶδ ηὔξατο λέγων· ἄνες μοι, ἵνα ἀναψύξω πρὸ τοῦ με ἀπελθεῖν καὶ οὐκέτι οὐ μὴ ὑπάρξω. τὸ δὲ πνεῦμά μου ἡ ζωή ἀντὶ τοῦ· ἄνεμος, τὸ μηδέν. τὸ δὲ καὶ οὐκέτι ἐπανελεύσεται ὁ ὀφθαλμός μου ἰδεῖν ἀγαθόν, ἐπειδὴ τὰ παρῳχηκότα οὐκέτι τις δύναται λαβεῖν. οὐκ ἀγνοῶν δὲ τὸ τῆς ἀναστάσεως μυστήριον ταῦτα λέγει, ὡς ἐν τοῖς ἐφεξῆς ἐπιδείξομεν, ἀλλ' ὅτι ὁ ἅπαξ ἀποθανὼν εἰς τοῦτον τὸν βίον ἐπανελθεῖν οὐκέτι δύναται, εἰ καὶ διά τι μυστήριόν τινες ἀνέστησαν. 77 7, 810 οὐ περιβλέψεται ὁ ὀφθαλμὸς ὁρῶντός με, οἱ ὀφθαλμοί σου ἐν ἐμοί, καὶ οὐκέτι εἰμὶ ὥσπερ νέφος ἀποκαθαρθὲν ἀπ' οὐρανοῦ. ἐὰν γὰρ ἄνθρωπος καταβῇ εἰς ᾅδην, οὐκέτι οὐ μὴ ἀναβῇ, οὐδ' οὐ μὴ ἐπιστρέψῃ ἔτι εἰς τὸν ἴδιον οἶκον, οὐδὲ μὴ ἐπιγνῶ αὐτὸν ἔτι ὁ τόπος αὐτοῦ. καὶ οὕτως, φησίν, ταχεῖά τίς ἐστιν ἡ τοῦ βίου τελευτή, ὅτι οἱ σήμερον ὁρῶντές με οὐ πάντως αὔριον βλέπουσιν· ἅμα τε γὰρ θελήσεις, ἀπωλόμηντοῦτο γὰρ σημαίνει τὸ οἱ ὀφθαλμοί σου ἐν ἐμοίκαὶ ἔοικα νέφει διαλυθέντι καὶ τὴν οἰκείαν σύστασιν ἀπολέσαντι. ὁ γὰρ ἅπαξ ἀποθανὼν εἰς τὸν ἴδιον οἶκον οὐχ ὑποστρέψει οὐδὲ τὰ συνήθη πράττων ἐπιγνωσθήσεται· τοῦτο γὰρ σημαίνει τὸ οὐδὲ μὴ ἐπιγνῶ αὐτὸν ἔτι ὁ τόπος αὐτοῦ. 7, 11 ἀτὰρ οὖν οὐδὲ ἐγὼ φείσομαι τῷ στόματί μου, λαλήσω ἐν ἀνάγκῃ ὢν τοῦ πνεύματός μου, ἀνοίξω πικρίας ψυχῆς μου συνεχόμενος. τοιγαροῦν, φησίν, οὐκ ἐφησυχάσω, ἀλλὰ εὔξομαι καὶ δεηθήσομαι συνεχόμενος. τὰς δὲ παρούσας ἀνάγκας καὶ τὴν καταπικρανθεῖσαν ψυχὴν καὶ τὸ εὐτελὲς τῆς φύσεως εἰς ἱκετηρίαν προβάλλεται. 7, 12 πότερον θάλασσά εἰμι ἢ δράκων, ὅτι κατέταξας ἐπ' ἐμὲ φυλακήν; ἐννόησον, φησίν, ὦ δέσποτα, ὅτι οὔκ εἰμι μέγα τι καὶ ἐξαίσιον τῶν σῶν κτισμάτων, οἷον θάλασσα ἢ κῆτος, ἀλλ' εὐτελὴς καὶ μικρός τις καὶ ἐξασθενῶ τοσαύταις περικλειόμενος συμφοραῖς. ὥσπερ δέ, φη 78 σίν, τὴν θάλατταν καὶ τὰ ἐν αὐτῇ κήτη ὁρίοις περιέκλεισας, ἃ οὐχ ὑπερβαίνουσιν, οὕτω με ταῖς συμφοραῖς περιεστοίχισας, ἃς ὑπεξελθεῖν οὐχ εὑρίσκω. εἶτα καὶ εἰς οἰκτιρμοὺς ἐκκαλούμενος τὸν θεὸν ἐπάγει· 7, 1314 εἶπα ὅτι· παρακαλέσει με ἡ κλίνη μου, ἀνοίσω δὲ πρὸς ἐμαυτὸν ἰδίᾳ λόγον τῇ κοίτῃ μου· ἐκφοβεῖς με ἐν ὑπνίοις καὶ ἐν ὁράμασί με καταπλήσσεις. κατ' αὐτὸν γὰρ τῆς ἀνέσεως τὸν καιρόν, ὅτε προσδοκῶ μικρὸν ἀδολεσχῆσαί μου τοῖς λογισμοῖς καὶ ὕπνου τυχεῖν καὶ ἀναπαύεσθαι, φοβερά μοι τὰ ἐνύπνια ἐφίστανται. συμβαίνει δὲ τοῦτο μάλιστα μὲν καὶ φυσικῶς τοῖς μεθ' ἡμέραν πειραζομένοις, ὥς που καὶ ὁ σοφὸς ἔφησεν Ἐκκλησιαστής· ὅτι παραγίνεται ἐνύπνιον ἐν πλήθει πειρασμῶν. εἰκὸς δὲ καὶ τὸν διάβολον φάσματά τινα φοβερὰ δεικνύντα ἐκδειματοῦν αὐτὸν καὶ ἐκταράττειν καθ' ὕπνους. ὁ δὲ μακάριος οὗτος οὔπω πληροφορηθείς, ὡς ἐξῃτήθη ὑπὸ τοῦ διαβόλου, οἴεται τὸν θεὸν καὶ ταῦτα καὶ τὰς βασάνους ἐπιφέρειν αὐτῷ. 7, 1516 ἀπαλλάξεις ἀπὸ πνεύματός μου τὴν ψυχήν μου, ἀπὸ δὲ θανάτου τὰ ὀστᾶ μου. οὐ γὰρ εἰς τὸν αἰῶνα ζήσομαι, ἵνα μακροθυμήσω. ἱκετεύω τοίνυν, λαβέ μου τὴν ψυχὴν καὶ ἀπάλλαξόν με τῆς ὀδύνης διὰ τοῦ θανάτου· οὐ γὰρ αἰώνιόν μέ τινα κατεσκεύασας, ἵνα νῦν μὲν ἐνέγκω τὰς ἀλγηδόνας, τὸν