28
she will minister with you as you rest and minister, comforting and encouraging the pains of your labor. And then you will know how very fittingly and well Saint Symeon said that no one should partake without tears, and how this is possible and truly appropriate for all. For it was not he, but through him the Holy Spirit both spoke and wrote. For if no one is sinless, not even if his life is but a single day, and no one can have a pure heart, it is clear that a person ought not to pass a single day in his whole life without repentance and tears; as much as it is up to him. For even if he does not have tears, yet he ought to seek them with all his strength and soul. For neither otherwise can he become sinless, nor pure in heart.
But if someone is unwilling to sleep on the ground and keep vigil, considering the multitude of his sins and the weight of his errors, and will not endure to correct (80) the festering and rotten bruises of his passionate appetite and his preconceptions, which lead him to insensibility—for this is truly folly—how will he come to a sense of the future condemnation and judgment of sinners and weep in the pain of his heart?
If one is not willing to suffer hardship in being afflicted and bowed down to the end and going about gloomy all the day long, in being troubled and humbled exceedingly and roaring from the groaning of his heart, and in becoming like a lonely sparrow on a rooftop and like a pelican of the wilderness, in becoming by disposition of soul a stranger to all those in the monastery and those in the world, and without boldness before the great and the small, in toiling with groaning and eating his bread like ashes and mixing his drink with weeping, how will he ever be able, brothers, either to wash his bed every night or to drench his couch with tears? Truly, never, in no way; not only will he not behold these things happening in himself, but he will not even find them in his prayer, nor will he be able to prepare a place for the Lord, nor a worthy tabernacle for the God of Jacob, who is Christ the Lord, our Savior and God. And if he does not prepare these things well, neither with tears, clearly, nor worthily and as is proper, when he partakes, will he receive the King and God into himself, even if he should do this once a year.
(81) "For the holy things for the holy," some say every day and proclaim to others, crying out loudly to them—and would that it were to themselves also—while others of you hear them saying it. What then? Is he who is not holy also unworthy? No, but he who does not confess the secrets of his heart every day, who does not show worthy repentance for these things and for sins of ignorance, who does not always mourn and go about with a gloomy face, and does not pursue the aforementioned things with zeal, this one is not worthy. But he who does all these things and passes his life in groans and tears, he is exceedingly worthy not only on a feast day, but every day, from the very, if it is bold to say, beginning of his repentance and conversion, to be a partaker of these divine mysteries. For such a one is pardonable, as one who is going to persevere in these and such works until the end, walking in humility and with a contrite heart. For by doing so and being so, he is enlightened in his soul day by day, being helped by partaking of the holy things, and is rather quickly raised to perfect purification and holiness.
But in any other way it is not possible for our defiled vessel to be washed or our polluted house to be cleansed. For I have learned nothing more, neither from the divine Scriptures, nor have I been able to know it from myself. For every day we hear the apostle saying: "For let each one examine himself, he says, and so from the
28
καταλύοντι καί διακονοῦντι συνδιακονήσει σοι, παραμυθουμένη καί παρακαλοῦσα τάς ἐκ τοῦ κόπου ὀδύνας σου. Καί τότε γνώσεις, ὡς λίαν πρεπόντως καί καλῶς ὁ ἅγιος εἴρηκε Συμεών μή κοινωνῆσαι ἄνευ δακρύων τινά, καί ὡς δυνατόν τοῦτο καί ἐπ᾿ ἀληθείας πᾶσιν ἁρμόδιον. Οὐ γάρ ἐκεῖνος, ἀλλά δι᾿ ἐκείνου τό Ἅγιον Πνεῦμα καί εἶπε καί ἔγραψεν. Εἰ γάρ οὐδείς ἀναμάρτητος, οὐδ᾿ ἄν ἡμέρα μία ἡ ζωή αὐτοῦ, καί οὐδείς δύναται ἁγνήν ἔχειν τήν καρδίαν, εὔδηλον ὅτι ἄνευ μετανοίας καί δακρύων ὀφείλει ἄνθρωπος διελθεῖν μίαν καί μόνην ἡμέραν ἐν πάσῃ τῇ ζωῇ αὐτοῦ· ὅσον τό ἐπ᾿ αὐτόν. Εἰ γάρ καί μή ἔχει δάκρυα, ἀλλά τέως ζητεῖν ὀφείλει ταῦτα ἐξ ὅλης ἰσχύος τε καί ψυχῆς. Οὐδέ γάρ ἄλλως δύναται γενέσθαι ἀναμάρτητος, οὐδέ τήν καρδίαν ἁγνός.
Εἰ δέ μή χαμευνῆσαι καί ἀγρυπνῆσαι βουληθῇ τις, ἀναλογιζόμενος τό πλῆθος τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων αὐτοῦ καί τό βάρος τῶν αὐτοῦ σφαλμάτων, καί διορθώσασθαι (80) ἀνέξεται τούς προσοζέσαντας καί σαπέντας ὑπό ἀμελείας καί καταφρονήσεως μώλωπας τῆς ἐμπαθοῦς ὀρέξεως καί τῶν προλήψεων αὐτοῦ, τῶν εἰς ἀναισθησίαν αὐτόν ἀγουσῶν - τοῦτο γάρ ἡ ὄντως ἀφροσύνη ἐστί , πῶς εἰς συναίσθησιν ἔλθῃ τῆς μελλούσης τῶν ἁμαρτωλῶν καταδίκης καί κατακρίσεως καί κλαύσει ἐν ὀδύνῃ τῆς καρδίας αὐτοῦ;
Εἰ οὐ βούλεται κακοπαθῆσαί τις ἐν τῷ ταλαιπωρηθῆναι καί κατακαμφθῆναι ἕως τέλους καί ὅλην τήν ἡμέραν σκυθρωπάζων πορεύεσθαι, ἐν τῷ κακωθῆναί τε καί ταπεινωθῆναι ἕως σφόδρα καί ὠρύεσθαι ἀπό στεναγμοῦ τῆς καρδίας αὐτοῦ καί ὡς στρουθίον μονάζον γενέσθαι ἐπί δώματι καί πελεκᾶνι ἐρημικῷ ὁμοιωθῆναι, ἐν τῷ διαθέσει ψυχῆς ξένον γενέσθαι ἀπό πάντων τῶν ἐν τῇ μονῇ καί τῶν ἐν τῷ κόσμῳ καί ἀπαρρησίαστον ἀπό μεγάλων τε καί μικρῶν, ἐν τῷ κοπιᾶν ἐν στεναγμῷ καί τόν ἄρτον ὡσεί σποδόν ἐσθίειν καί τό κιρνᾶν τό πόμα αὐτοῦ μετά κλαυθμοῦ, πῶς ἰσχύσει ποτέ, ἀδελφοί, ἤ λούειν καθ᾿ ἑκάστην νύκτα τήν κλίνην αὐτοῦ ἤ ἐν δάκρυσι τήν στρωμνήν αὐτοῦ βρέχειν; Ὄντως οὐδέποτε οὐδαμῶς, οὐ μόνον ταῦτα ἐν ἐαυτῷ γεγονότα οὐ μή θεάσηται, ἀλλ᾿ οὐδέ ἐν εὐχῆ αὐτοῦ εὑρήσει αὐτά, οὐδέ τόπον ἑτοιμάσαι ἰσχύσει τῷ Κυρίῳ, οὐδέ σκήνωμα ἄξιον τῷ Θεῷ Ἰακώβ, ὅς ἐστι Χριστόν Κύριος, ὁ Σωτήρ καί Θεός ἡμῶν. Εἰ δέ μή ταῦτα προετοιμάσει καλῶς, οὐδέ μετά δακρύων, δηλονότι, οὐδέ ἀξίως καί ὡς δεῖ κοινωνῶν, τόν Βασιλέα καί Θεόν ἐν ἑαυτῷ ὑποδέξεται, κἄν ἅπαξ τοῦ ἐνιαυτοῦ τοῦτο ποιήσειε.
(81) "Τά γάρ ἅγια τοῖς ἁγίοις" καθ᾿ ἑκάστην οἱ μέν λέγουσι καί τοῖς ἄλλοις κηρύττουσι, μέγα ἐκβοῶντες αὐτοῖς - εἴθε δέ καί ἑαυτοῖς, οἱ δέ λεγόντων ἐκείνων ἀκούετε. Τί οὖν; Ὁ μή ἅγιος καί ἀνάξιος; Οὔ, ἀλλ᾿ ὁ μή καθ᾿ ἑκάστην τά κρυπτά τῆς καρδίας αὐτοῦ ἐξαγγέλλων, ὁ μή μετάνοιαν ἀξίαν ὑπέρ τούτων καί ὑπέρ τῶν ἐν ἀγνοίᾳ ἐπιδεικνύμενος, ὁ μή πενθῶν ἀεί καί σκυθρωπάζων πορευόμενος καί τά προειρημένα μή μετερχόμενος ἐν σπουδῇ, οὗτος οὐκ ἄξιος. Ὁ δέ ταῦτα πάντα ποιῶν καί καί ἐν στεναγμοῖς καί δάκρυσι τόν ἑαυτοῦ βίον διανύων, καί σφόδρα ἐστίν ἄξιος οὐκ ἐν ἑορτῇ μόνον, ἀλλά καθ᾿ ἑκάστην ἡμέραν ἐξ αὐτῆς, εἰ τολμηρόν εἰπεῖν, τῆς ἀρχῆς τῆς μετανοίας καί ἐπιστροφῆς αὐτοῦ τῶν θείων τούτων ἐν μετοχῇ γίνεσθαι μυστηρίων. Συγγνωστός γάρ ἐστιν ὁ τοιοῦτος, ὡς ἐν τούτοις καί τοῖς τοιούτοις ἔργοις μέλλων ἐγκαρτερεῖν μέχρι τέλους, ὁδεύων ἐν ταπεινώσει καί συντετριμμένῃ καρδίᾳ. Οὕτω γάρ ποιῶν καί οὕτως ἔχων, φωτίζεται τήν ψυχήν ὁσημέραι, βοηθούμενος ἐκ τῆς μεταλήψεως τῶν ἁγίων, καί εἰς τελείαν κάθαρσιν καί ἁγιότητα συηντόμως μᾶλλον ἀνάγεται.
Ἄλλως δέ πως ἀποπλυθῆναι ἤ καθαρθῆναι τό ῥερυπωμένον ἡμῶν σκεῦος καί τήν μολυνθεῖσαν οἰκίαν ἡμῶν οὐκ ἔνι. Ἐγώ γάρ οὐδέν πλέον οὔτε ἀπό τῶν θείων Γραφῶν μεμάθηκα, οὔτε ἐξ ἐμαυτοῦ γνῶναι ἴσχυσα. Λέγοντος γάρ ἀκούομεν καθ᾿ ἑκάστην τοῦ ἀποστόλου· "∆οκιμαζέτω γάρ, φησίν, ἕκαστος ἑαυτόν καί οὕτως ἐκ τοῦ