John Chrysostom, On Virginity

44 That it is easier to attain the kingdom through virginity than through marriage. For in the old days, such a high measure of virtue was not set before us, but it was permitted both to defend oneself against an offender, and to revile in return one who reviles, and to take care for money, and to swear, swearing truly, and to pluck out an eye for an eye, and to hate an enemy; and it was forbidden neither to live luxuriously, nor to be angry, nor to cast out one wife and bring in another in her place. And not only this, but the law also permitted having two wives at the same time, and there was great condescension both in these things and in all others. But after the coming of Christ, the way has become much narrower, not only because this unspeakable and great freedom in all the things mentioned has been cut off from our authority, but also because it is necessary to keep within the house for all time the wife who often persuades and compels us to sin even unwillingly, or to be convicted of adultery for wishing to cast her out. But not for this reason alone is virtue difficult for us to achieve, but because even if the wife living with him has a tolerable character, the crowd of cares on her account and that of her children, which flows around us, does not permit us to look up to heaven even for a little while, from all sides, like some vertigo, spinning around and overwhelming our soul. For if a man wishes to live this safe and quiet life of private citizens, but when he sees children standing around and a wife needing much expense, even unwillingly he has thrown himself into the tempest of public affairs. And having fallen in there, it is not even possible to say how many sins he must commit, being angry, insulting, swearing, reviling, acting hypocritically, doing many things to curry favor, many things out of enmity. For how is it possible for one who is tossed in such a storm and wishes to be successful in it not to be stained with much filth from his sins? And if one were to examine the affairs of the household, he would find them full of the same and even greater difficulty on account of the wife. For it is necessary to be anxious about many things and for many people, for whom the man would not have needed to be, were he by himself. And this is when the wife is modest and reasonable. But if she is wicked and burdensome and ungovernable, we will no longer call the matter a necessity, but also a punishment and a chastisement. How then will he be able to walk the road to heaven, which requires nimble and light feet and a well-girded and unencumbered soul, when he has such a great mass of troubles lying upon him, bound by so many fetters, dragged down continuously by such a chain, I mean, the wickedness of his wife?

45 That for those who devise superfluous difficulties for themselves, no reward is laid up for this. But what is the wise argument of the multitude against all such things as we have gone through with them? "Will he not be worthy of greater honor," one says, "who succeeds amidst so great a necessity?" For what reason, my good sir, and why? "Because he endures more toil," he says, "from marriage." And who compelled him to take up so great a burden? For if by marrying he were fulfilling a commandment and not marrying were a transgression of the law, this argument would be plausible. But if, being master of not submitting to the yoke of marriage, with no one compelling him, he willingly chose to place so many difficulties upon himself so as to make the contest for virtue more burdensome for him, this is nothing to the judge of the contest. For he himself commanded only one thing to be accomplished: the war against the devil and the victory over wickedness. Whether one accomplishes this while married and living luxuriously and having many cares, or while practicing asceticism and toiling and having no other care, this is of no concern to him. For he says that the manner of victory and the road that leads to the trophy is that one which is free from all worldly things. But since you wish to campaign with a wife and children and the affairs that trail along with them, and to wage war as if you will accomplish the same things as those who are entangled in none of these, and to enjoy greater admiration on account of this, for now perhaps you will even charge us with great arrogance if we say that it is not possible for you to the same

44 Ὅτι εὐκολώτερον εἶναι διὰ παρθενίας ἢ διὰ γάμον βασιλείας τυχεῖν. Τὸ μὲν γὰρ παλαιὸν ἡμῖν οὐ τοσοῦτον ἀρετῆς προύκειτο μέτρον ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀμύνασθαι τὸν ἀδικοῦντα καὶ ἀντιλοιδορήσασθαι τῷ λοιδορουμένῳ καὶ χρημάτων ἐπιμελήσασθαι ἐξῆν καὶ εὐορκοῦντα ὀμνύναι καὶ ὀφθαλμὸν ἐξορύξαι ἀντὶ ὀφθαλμοῦ καὶ μισῆσαι τὸν ἐχθρὸν καὶ οὔτε τρυφᾶν οὔτε ὀργίζεσθαι οὔτε γυναῖκα τὴν μὲν ἐκβάλλειν, τὴν δὲ ἀντεισάγειν κεκώλυτο. Καὶ οὐ τοῦτο μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ δύο κατὰ ταὐτὸν ὁμοῦ γυναῖκας ἔχειν ὁ νόμος ἐπέτρεπε, καὶ πολλὴ καὶ ἐν τούτοις καὶ ἐν τοῖς ἄλλοις ἅπασιν ἡ συγκατάβασις ἦν. Μετὰ δὲ τὴν τοῦ Χριστοῦ παρουσίαν πολλῷ στενωτέρα γέγονεν ἡ ὁδός, οὐ μόνον τῷ τὴν ἄδειαν τῶν εἰρημένων ἁπάντων τὴν ἄφατον ταύτην καὶ πολλὴν περικοπῆναι τῆς ἐξουσίας τῆς ἡμετέρας ἀλλὰ καὶ τῷ τὴν πολλὰ πολλάκις ἀναπείθουσαν καὶ ἀναγκάζουσαν ἡμᾶς καὶ ἄκοντας ἁμαρτάνειν γυναῖκα, ταύτην ἔνδον ἔχειν διὰ παντὸς ἢ μοιχείας ἁλίσκεσθαι βουλόμενον ἐκβάλλειν. Οὐ ταύτῃ δὲ μόνον ἡμῖν ἡ ἀρετὴ δυσκατόρθωτος ἀλλ' ὅτι κἂν ἀνεκτὸν ἦθος ἔχῃ ἡ συνοικοῦσα, ὁ δι' αὐτὴν καὶ τὰ ἔκγονα ἐκείνης περιρρέων ἡμᾶς φροντίδων ὄχλος οὐδὲ μικρὸν ἀναβλέψαι πρὸς τὸν οὐρανὸν συγχωρεῖ, πάντοθεν ὥσπερ τις ἴλιγγος περιστρέφων καὶ βαπτίζων ἡμῶν τὴν ψυχήν. Ἐὰν γὰρ βούληται τὸν τῶν ἰδιωτῶν βίον τὸν ἀκίνδυνον τοῦτον καὶ ἀπράγμονα ζῆν ὁ ἀνήρ, ἀλλ' ὅταν ἴδῃ παῖδας περιεστῶτας καὶ γυναῖκα δαπάνης δεομένην πολλῆς, καὶ ἄκων εἰς τὸν τῶν πολιτικῶν πραγμάτων ἔρριψεν ἑαυτὸν κλύδωνα. Ἐκεῖ δὲ ἐμπεσόντα λοιπὸν οὐδὲ ἔστιν εἰπεῖν ὅσα ἀνάγκη ἁμαρτάνειν ὀργιζόμενον, ὑβρίζοντα, ὀμνύοντα, λοιδορούμενον, ὑποκρινόμενον, πολλὰ πρὸς χάριν πολλὰ πρὸς ἀπέχθειαν ποιοῦντα. Πῶς γὰρ ἔνι στρεφόμενον ἐν ζάλῃ τοσαύτῃ καὶ βουλόμενον εὐδοκιμεῖν ἐν αὐτῇ μὴ πολὺν τὸν ἀπὸ τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων προστρίβεσθαι ῥύπον; Καὶ τὰ κατὰ τὴν οἰκίαν δὲ εἴ τις ἐξετάσειε, τῆς αὐτῆς καὶ πλείονος δυσκολίας εὑρήσει γέμοντα διὰ τὴν γυναῖκα. Πολλὰ γὰρ ἀνάγκη μεριμνᾶν καὶ ὑπὲρ πολλῶν, ὧν οὐκ ἂν ἐδεήθη καθ' ἑαυτὸν ὢν ὁ ἀνήρ. Καὶ ταῦτα μὲν ὅταν κοσμία τίς ἐστιν ἡ γυνὴ καὶ ἐπιεικής. Ἂν δὲ μοχθηρὰ καὶ ἐπαχθὴς καὶ δυσκάθεκτος, οὐκέτι μόνον ἀνάγκην τὸ πρᾶγμα καλέσομεν ἀλλὰ καὶ τιμωρίαν καὶ κόλασιν. Πῶς οὖν δυνήσεται τὴν ἐπὶ τὸν οὐρανὸν βαδίζειν ὁδόν, τὴν εὐλύτων καὶ κούφων δεομένην ποδῶν καὶ ψυχῆς εὐζώνου καὶ εὐσταλοῦς τοσοῦτον ἔχων ἐπικείμενον πραγμάτων ὄγκον, τοσαύταις συνδεδεμένος πέδαις, διὰ τοιαύτης ἀλύσεως ἑλκόμενος κάτω συνεχῶς, τῆς πονηρίας λέγω τῆς γυναικός;

45 Ὅτι τοῖς δυσκολίας ἐπινοοῦσι περιττὰς οὐδεὶς ὑπὲρ τούτου κεῖται μισθός. Ἀλλὰ τίς ὁ σοφὸς τῶν πολλῶν λόγος πρὸς τοιαῦτα ἅπαντα ἅπερ αὐτοῖς διεξήλθομεν; Οὔκουν πλείονος ἄξιος ἔσται τιμῆς, φησίν, ὁ μετὰ τοσαύτης ἀνάγκης κατορθῶν; Τίνος ἕνεκεν, ὦ βέλτιστε, καὶ διὰ τί; Ὅτι πλείονα μόχθον ὑφίσταται, φησίν, ἀπὸ τοῦ γάμου. Καὶ τίς αὐτὸν φορτίον τοσοῦτον ἀναδέξασθαι ἠνάγκαζεν; Εἰ μὲν γὰρ ἐντολὴν ἐπλήρου γαμῶν καὶ νόμου παράβασις ἦν τὸ μὴ γαμεῖν, εὐπρόσωπος οὗτος ὁ λόγος ἦν. Εἰ δὲ κύριος ὢν τοῦ μὴ τὸν ζυγὸν ὑπελθεῖν τοῦ γάμου ἑκὼν ἀναγκάζοντος οὐδενὸς δυσκολίας ἑαυτῷ περιθεῖναι τοσαύτας ἠθέλησεν ὥστε ἐπαχθέστερον αὐτῷ γενέσθαι τῆς ἀρετῆς τὸν ἀγῶνα, οὐδὲν τοῦτο πρὸς τὸν ἀγωνοθέτην. Αὐτὸς γὰρ ἓν μόνον ἐπέταξεν ἀνύσαι τὸν κατὰ τοῦ διαβόλου πόλεμον καὶ τὴν κατὰ τῆς κακίας νίκην. Εἴτε γαμῶν καὶ τρυφῶν καὶ πολλὰ μεριμνῶν τις ἀνύοι τοῦτο εἴτε ἀσκούμενος καὶ ταλαιπωρῶν καὶ μετὰ τοῦ μηδὲν ἕτερον μεριμνᾶν οὐδὲν αὐτῷ τούτου μέλει λοιπόν. Τὸν μὲν γὰρ τρόπον τῆς νίκης καὶ τὴν ἐπὶ τὸ τρόπαιον φέρουσαν ὁδὸν οὗτος ἐκείνην εἶναί φησι τὴν πάντων ἀπηλλαγμένην τῶν βιωτικῶν. Ἐπειδὴ δὲ σὺ μετὰ γυναικὸς καὶ παίδων καὶ τῶν τούτοις ἐπισυρομένων πραγμάτων στρατεύεσθαι βούλει καὶ πολεμεῖν ὡς τὰ αὐτὰ ἀνύσων ἐκείνοις τοῖς οὐδενὶ τούτων ἐμπεπλεγμένοις καὶ πλείονος ἀπολαύσων διὰ τοῦτο θαύματος, νῦν μὲν ἴσως καὶ τῦφον ἡμῖν ἐγκαλέσεις πολὺν ἂν εἴπωμεν ὅτι οὐ δυνατόν σε πρὸς τὴν αὐτὴν