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votes, but from the punishments and the torments. For since that one said: For what mortal is pure before the Lord?, for this reason he says: “I cannot speak in reply nor say that I have suffered so many and such things without having sinned at all. For the punishments speak against me; since I was able to refute,” he says, “the strong one?”—that is, to speak against him. 6,3b But, as it seems, my words are worthless; 6,4a for the arrows of the Lord are in my body, 4b whose venom drinks up my blood. 4c When I begin to speak, they pierce me. What in the world is this? “Not only in this way,” he says, “do they pierce, by being fixed in the flesh, but also by taking away my just verdict. Why is it that when I begin to speak, they pierce me, and he seems to say the opposite, that “when they pierce me, then I speak”? He almost makes a defense for his previous words, for which he cursed the day. “For,” he says, “I do not utter these things from wickedness nor at random nor simply, but being pierced by the pain. For who is so wretched and miserable as to wish to lament for no reason?”—because he said: But do not refuse the chastening of the Almighty. Just as they brought forward the irrational animals, saying: the strength of a lion, so too this man: 6,5a For what? Will a wild donkey cry out in vain, he says, unless it is seeking fodder? 5b Or will an ox bellow at the manger when it has food? He rightly added: at the manger; for elsewhere it bellows. And again: 6,6a Is bread eaten without salt, 6b or is there taste in empty words? 77 “Just as,” he says, “a donkey would not choose to cry out for no reason, nor an ox at the manger, and just as no one would choose to eat bread without salt nor pay attention to empty words”—he has set down those things that are most impossible—“so I myself would not choose,” he says, “to lament such things if there were not a necessity piercing me. For just as it is unpleasant to eat bread without salt, so also for me it is unpleasant to lament and to mourn and to utter superfluous words. For who would choose simply to mourn?” He has come from the more distant to the nearer, from the donkey to the bread. “For what pleasure is there in empty words?” Taste is pleasure. If any true word, he says, had been in your speeches, none of these things would have befallen you. For this reason he says: But, as it seems, my words are worthless. 6,7a For my soul cannot cease. Why? 6,7b For I see my food as filth, like the stench of a lion. The sore was not enough, nor the discharge, but also another punishment. From the disease his every sense was also harmed, so that even food itself became a punishment for him. The stench of the decay took away the judgment of his senses. What could be harsher than this punishment? Sleep did not give rest, food did not nourish. Like the stench of a lion, he says. For this beast is exceedingly foul-smelling. For since it has an advantage from its nature, God made it otherwise more base than the others. 6,8a O that he would grant and my request would come, 8b and the Lord would grant my hope. 6,9a Let the Lord begin and wound me, 78 9b but not utterly destroy me. 6,10a And may my city be a tomb, upon whose walls I leaped upon it. “One solution to these terrible things,” he says, “is death and rest.” What is: I leaped? “I was exultant,” he says, “and confident.” 6,10a I will not spare myself; 10b for I have not lied in the holy words of my God. “I will not spare myself from contradicting you,” he says; “for I am not conscious of anything of the sort in myself, such as you say. But I do not say this, but that I have been scourged,” he says, “beyond my own nature; for the magnitude of the torments is beyond the power of mortal bodies.” But you, observe for me everywhere how, even seeing such great necessity, he nowhere endured to proceed to the narration of his good deeds, but hides them for the time being. And his sins he often paraded with great frankness before an assembly and a splendid theater, but his good deeds, even seeing such great necessity, he is silent about. For he does not say, “being righteous I have suffered such things,” but, “I cannot bear it,” just as David also said: Have mercy on me, for I am weak. This saying is of those who do not have boldness, so as to take refuge in the weakness of nature. For the
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ψήφους, ἀλλ' ἀπὸ τῶν τιμωριῶν καὶ τῶν κολάσεων. ἐπειδὴ γὰρ εἶπεν ἐκεῖνος· τίς γὰρ βροτὸς καθαρὸς ἐνώπιον κυρίου;, διὰ τοῦτό φησιν· «οὐ δύναμαι ἀντιφθέγξασθαι οὐδὲ εἰπεῖν, ὅτι τοσαῦτα καὶ τοιαῦτα πέπονθα οὐδὲν ἁμαρτών. ἀντιφθέγγεται γάρ μοι τὰ τῶν τιμωριῶν· ἐπεὶ ἠδυνάμην ἐλέγξαι», φησίν, «τὸν ἰσχυρόν;»-τουτέστιν· ἀντειπεῖν. 6,3b ἀλλ' ὡς ἔοικεν, τὰ ῥήματά μού ἐστι φαῦλα· 6,4a βέλη γὰρ κυρίου ἐν τῷ σώματί μού ἐστιν, 4b ὧν ὁ θυμὸς αὐτῶν ἐκπίνει μου τὸ αἷμα. 4c ὅταν ἄρξωμαι λαλεῖν, κεντοῦσί με. τί ποτε τοῦτό ἐστιν; «οὐχὶ ταύτῃ μόνον», φησίν, «κεντοῦσιν, τῷ ἐμπεπηγέναι τῇ σαρκί, ἀλλὰ καὶ τῷ τὴν ψῆφον μου ἀφαιρεῖσθαι τὴν δικαίαν. ἵνα τί ὅταν ἄρξωμαι λαλεῖν, κεντοῦσί με καὶ τὸ ἐναντίον δοκεῖ λέγειν, ὅτι «ὅταν κεντῶσί με, τότε λαλῶ»; σχεδὸν ἀπολογεῖται ὑπὲρ τῶν προτέρων, ὑπὲρ ὧν ἐπηράσατο τὴν ἡμέραν. «οὐ γάρ», φησίν, «ἀπὸ πονηρίας οὐδὲ εἰκῇ οὐδὲ ἁπλῶς ταῦτα φθέγγομαι, ἀλλ' ὑπὸ τῆς ὀδύνης κεντούμενος. τίς γὰρ οὕτως ἄθλιος καὶ ταλαίπωρος ὡς εἰκῇ βούλεσθαι θρηνεῖν;»-διὰ τὸ λέγειν αὐτόν· νουθέτημα δὲ παντοκράτορος μὴ ἀπαναίνου. καθάπερ ἐκεῖνοι τὰ ἄλογα παρήγαγον λέγοντες· σθένος λέοντος, οὕτω καὶ οὗτος· 6,5a τί γάρ; μὴ διὰ κενῆς κεκράξεται, φησίν, ὄνος ἄγριος ἀλλ' ἢ τὰ σῖτα ζητῶν; 5b εἰ δὲ καὶ ῥήξει φωνὴν βοῦς ἐπὶ φάτνης ἔχων βρώματα; καλῶς προσέθηκεν· ἐπὶ φάτνης· ἀλλαχοῦ γὰρ βοᾷ. καὶ πάλιν· 6,6a εἰ βρωθήσεται ἄρτος ἄνευ ἁλός, 6b εἰ δὲ καὶ ἔστι γεῦμα ἐν ῥήμασι κενοῖς; 77 «ὥσπερ», φησίν, «οὐκ ἂν ἕλοιτο βοῆσαι εἰκῇ ὄνος οὐδὲ βοῦς ἐπὶ φάτνης, καὶ ὥσπερ οὐκ ἄν τις ἕλοιτο φαγεῖν ἄρτον ἄνευ ἁλὸς οὐδὲ προσέχειν ῥήμασι κενοῖς»-ἐκεῖνα τὰ μάλιστα ἀδύνατα τέθεικεν-, «οὕτως οὐδ' ἂν αὐτὸς ἑλοίμην», φησίν, «τοιαῦτα θρηνεῖν οὐκ οὔσης ἀνάγκης τῆς κεντούσης. ὥσπερ γὰρ ἀηδὲς ἄρτον ἄνευ ἁλὸς φαγεῖν, οὕτω καὶ ἐμοὶ ἀηδὲς θρηνεῖν καὶ ὀδύρεσθαι καὶ ῥήματα περιττὰ φθέγγεσθαι. τίς γὰρ ἂν ἕλοιτο ἁπλῶς ὀδύρεσθαι;» ἀπὸ τοῦ πορρωτέρου ἐπὶ τὸ ἐγγύτερον ἐλήλυθεν, ἀπὸ τοῦ ὄνου ἐπὶ τὸν ἄρτον. «ποία γὰρ ἡδονὴ ἐν ῥήμασι κενοῖς;» γεῦμα ἡδονή ἐστιν. εἰ δέ τι ῥῆμα ἀληθινόν, φησίν, ἐγεγόνει ἐν λόγοις σου, οὐδὲν ἂν τούτων συνήντησέ σοι. διὰ τοῦτό φησιν· ἀλλ' ὡς ἔοικε, τὰ ῥήματά μού ἐστι φαῦλα. 6,7a οὐ δύναται γάρ μου παύσασθαι ἡ ψυχή. διὰ τί; 6,7b βρῶμον γὰρ ὁρῶ τὰ σῖτά μου ὥσπερ ὀσμὴν λέοντος. οὐκ ἤρκει τὸ ἕλκος οὐδὲ ὁ ἰχώρ, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἑτέρα τιμωρία. ἀπὸ τῆς νόσου καὶ τὴν αἴσθησιν ἅπασαν ἐβλάβη, ὥστε αὐτῷ καὶ αὐτὴν τὴν τροφὴν τιμωρίαν γενέσθαι. ἡ δυσωδία τῆς σηπεδόνος τὸ κριτήριον ἀφεῖλε τῶν αἰσθήσεων. τί ταύτης τῆς τιμωρίας χαλεπώτερον γένοιτο; οὐχ ὕπνος ἀνέπαυεν, οὐ τροφὴ ἔτρεφεν. ὥσπερ ὀσμὴ λέοντος, φησίν. δυσῶδες γὰρ τοῦτο τὸ θηρίον μεθ' ὑπερβολῆς. ἐπειδὴ γὰρ ἔχει τὴν ἀπὸ τῆς φύσεως πλεονεξίαν, ἑτέρως αὐτὸ τῶν ἄλλων ἐποίησε φαυλότερον ὁ θεός. 6,8a εἰ γὰρ δώῃ καὶ ἔλθοι μου ἡ αἴτησις 8b καὶ τὴν ἐλπίδα μου δώῃ ὁ κύριος. 6,9a ἀρξάμενος ὁ κύριος τρω78 σάτω με, 9b εἰς τέλος δὲ μή με ἀνελέτω. 6,10a εἴη δὲ πόλις μου τάφος, ἐφ' ἧς ἐπὶ τειχέων ἡλλόμην ἐπ' αὐτῆς. «μία λύσις τούτων ἐστίν», φησίν, «τῶν δεινῶν θάνατος καὶ ἀνάπαυσις.» τί ἐστιν· ἡλλόμην; «γαῦρος ἤμην», φησίν, «καὶ πεποιθώς.» 6,10a οὐ μὴ φείσωμαι· 10b οὐ γὰρ ἐψευσάμην ἐν ῥήμασιν ἁγίου θεοῦ μου. «οὐ μὴ φείσωμαι τῆς πρὸς ὑμᾶς ἀντιλογίας», φησίν· «οὐ γὰρ σύνοιδα ἐμαυτῷ τοιοῦτον οὐδέν, οἷον ὑμεῖς λέγετε. ἀλλ' οὐ λέγω τοῦτο, ἀλλ' ὅτι μείζονα τῆς οἰκείας», φησίν, «φύσεως μεμαστίγωμαι· ὑπὲρ γὰρ δύναμιν θνητῶν σωμάτων τῶν βασάνων τὸ μέγεθος.» σὺ δέ μοι παρατήρει πανταχοῦ, πῶς καὶ τοσαύτην ἀνάγκην ὁρῶν οὐδαμοῦ πρὸς τὴν τῶν κατορθωμάτων αὐτοῦ διήγησιν ἐξελθεῖν ἠνέσχετο, ἀλλὰ κρύπτει τέως. καὶ τὰ μὲν ἁμαρτήματα μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς παρρησίας ἐπὶ συλλόγου καὶ λαμπροῦ θεάτρου πολλάκις ἐξεπόμπευεν, τὰ δὲ κατορθώματα καὶ τοσαύτην ἀνάγκην ὁρῶν σιγᾷ. οὐ γὰρ δὴ λέγει, ὅτι «δίκαιος ὢν τοιαῦτα πέπονθα», ἀλλ' ὅτι «οὐ δύναμαι ἐνεγκεῖν», ὥσπερ καὶ ὁ ∆αυὶδ ἔλεγεν· ἐλέησόν με, ὅτι ἀσθενής εἰμι. τοῦτο δὲ τὸ ῥῆμα τῶν οὐκ ἐχόντων ἐστὶ παρρησίαν ὥστε ἐπὶ τὴν ἀσθένειαν καταφεύγειν τῆς φύσεως. τὸ γὰρ