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he calls by name, but what? “Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.” But do not be afraid. He did not make a definitive statement nor did he legislate. For the word concerning marriage again stands near, releasing this fear and saying: “But if you do marry, you have not sinned.” But do not become lax now; for again his word draws you to virginity, and this is what it desires, teaching that those who are given to marriage endure much affliction in the flesh. For just as the best and gentlest of physicians, when they are about to apply a bitter medicine or an incision or a cautery or anything of the sort, do not perform the whole thing at once, but giving the patient a chance to breathe in between, so they always add what is left; in the same way the blessed Paul also did not weave his counsel concerning virginity unremittingly nor throughout nor consecutively, but by interrupting it continually with words concerning marriage and by stealing away its greater intensity, he made his discourse gentle and easy to accept. Therefore, the varied mixture of his words has come about for this reason. But it is worthwhile now to examine the sayings themselves. “Are you bound,” he says, “to a wife? Do not seek a release.” This is not so much of one giving counsel as of one showing the inescapable and inextricable nature of the bond. And why did he not say: Do you have a wife? Do not leave her; live with her, do not separate, but called the union a bond? Indicating here the burdensome nature of the matter. For since all run to marriage as to a lovely thing, he shows that the married are no different from those who are bound. For here too, wherever one pulls, it is necessary for the other to follow, or by being at odds, for the other to perish along with that one. What then, if the husband is dissolute, she says, but I wish to be continent? It is necessary to follow him. For even if you do not wish to do this, the chain placed around you by marriage pulls you down and draws you to the one bound with you from the beginning; and if you resist and break it, not only have you not freed yourself from the bonds, but you have also cast yourself into the ultimate punishment.

48 That she who practices continence against her husband's will shall herself pay a greater penalty when he commits fornication. For she who practices continence against her husband's will is not only deprived of the rewards of continence, but she herself is held to account for his adultery and is more answerable than he. Why so? Because she herself pushed him into the pit of licentiousness by depriving him of lawful intercourse. For if it is not permitted to do this even for a little while against his will, what excuse could she have who has deprived him of this consolation for all time? And what, she says, could be more burdensome than this necessity and this insolence? I say this too. For what reason then do you subject yourself to so great a necessity? For one ought to have considered this not after marriage, but before marriage. For this reason Paul also, having posited the subsequent necessity that comes from the bond, then discusses release. For having said “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek a release,” he then added “Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.” And he does this so that you, having first carefully considered and understood the violence of the marital union, might more easily accept the argument for celibacy. “But if you do marry,” he says, “you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.” Behold where the great achievement of marriage ends: in not being accused, not in being admired; for this latter belongs to virginity, while the married man is content to hear that he has not sinned. For what reason then do you advise, he says, not to seek a wife? Because once bound it is not possible to be loosed, and because the matter has much affliction. So, tell me, will we gain this only from virginity, to escape the affliction here? And who will endure being a virgin for such rewards? And who, about to enter into so great a contest full of so much sweat, would endure to receive this reward alone?

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προσηγορίᾳ καλεῖ, ἀλλὰ τί; «Λέλυσαι ἀπὸ γυναικός; Μὴ ζήτει γυναῖκα.» Ἀλλὰ μὴ δείσῃς. Οὐκ ἀπεφήνατο οὐδὲ ἐνομοθέτησεν. Ὁ γὰρ περὶ τοῦ γάμου λόγος πάλιν ἐγγὺς ἕστηκε, τοῦτον τὸν φόβον ἀνιεὶς καὶ λέγων· «Ἐὰν δὲ καὶ γήμῃς, οὐχ ἥμαρτες.» Ἀλλὰ μηδὲ νῦν ἀναπέσῃς· πάλιν γάρ σε ἐπὶ τὴν παρθενίαν ἕλκει καὶ τοῦτο ὁ λόγος αὐτοῦ βούλεται, ὁ διδάσκων πολλὴν τῇ σαρκὶ θλῖψιν ὑπομένειν τοὺς τῷ γάμῳ προσέχοντας. Καθάπερ γὰρ οἱ τῶν ἰατρῶν ἄριστοι καὶ προσηνεῖς φάρμακον πικρὸν ἢ τομὴν ἢ καῦσιν ἤ τι τῶν τοιούτων προσάγειν μέλλοντες, οὐκ ἀθρόως τὸ πᾶν ἐργάζονται ἀλλ' ἐν τῷ μεταξὺ δόντες ἀναπνεῦσαι τῷ κάμνοντι οὕτως ἀεὶ τὸ λειπόμενον προστιθέασι, τὸν αὐτὸν τρόπον καὶ ὁ μακάριος Παῦλος οὐκ ἀνενδότως οὐδὲ δι' ὅλου οὐδὲ ἐφεξῆς τὴν περὶ τῆς παρθενίας ὕφηνε συμβουλὴν ἀλλὰ διακόπτων αὐτὴν συνεχῶς τοῖς περὶ τοῦ γάμου λόγοις καὶ ταύτης τὸ σφοδρότερον ὑποκλέπτων προσηνῆ τε καὶ εὐπαράδεκτον τὸν λόγον ἐποίησεν. Ἡ μὲν οὖν ποικίλη μίξις τῶν λόγων διὰ τοῦτο γεγένηται. Ἄξιον δὲ καὶ αὐτὰ λοιπὸν ἐξετάσαι τὰ ῥήματα. «∆έδεσαι», φησί, «γυναικί; Μὴ ζήτει λύσιν.» Τοῦτο οὐχ οὕτως συμβουλεύοντός ἐστιν ὡς τὸ ἄπορον δεικνύντος καὶ ἀδιεξόδευτον τοῦ δεσμοῦ. Τίνος δὲ ἕνεκεν οὐκ εἶπεν· ἔχεις γυναῖκα; μὴ καταλίπῃς αὐτήν· συνοίκει, μὴ διαστῇς, ἀλλὰ δεσμὸν τὴν συζυγίαν ἐκάλεσε; Τὸ φορτικὸν ἐνταῦθα τοῦ πράγματος ἐνδεικνύμενος. Ἐπειδὴ γὰρ ὡς πρὸς ἐπέραστον πρᾶγμα τὸν γάμον ἅπαντες τρέχουσι, δείκνυσιν ὅτι τῶν δεδεμένων οὐδὲν οἱ γεγαμηκότες διαφέρουσι. Κἀνταῦθα γὰρ ὅπουπερ ἂν ἑλκύσῃ θάτερος, ἀνάγκη καὶ τὸν ἕτερον ἕπεσθαι ἢ διαστασιάζοντα καὶ τὸν ἕτερον συναπολέσθαι ἐκείνῳ. Τί οὖν, ἐὰν ὁ ἀνὴρ κατωφερὴς ᾖ, φησίν, ἐγὼ δὲ ἐγκρατεύεσθαι βούλωμαι; Ἀνάγκη ἐκείνῳ ἕπεσθαι. Καὶ γὰρ μὴ βουλομένην σε τοῦτο ποιεῖν ἡ διὰ τὸν γάμον περιτεθεῖσα ἅλυσις καθέλκει καὶ ἐπισπᾶται πρὸς τὸν συνδεθέντα σοι τὴν ἀρχήν· κἂν ἀντιπέσῃς καὶ διακόψῃς, οὐ μόνον οὐκ ἀπήλλαξας σαυτὴν τῶν δεσμῶν ἀλλὰ καὶ εἰς τιμωρίαν ἐσχάτην ἐνέβαλες.

48 Ὅτι ἡ ἄκοντος ἐγκρατευομένη τοῦ ἀνδρὸς αὐτὴ τούτου πορνεύοντος δώσει μειζοτέραν δίκην. Ἡ γὰρ ἄκοντος ἐγκρατευομένη τοῦ ἀνδρὸς οὐ τῶν τῆς ἐγκρατείας μισθῶν ἀποστερεῖται μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ τῆς ἐκείνου μοιχείας αὐτὴ τὸν λόγον ὑπέχει καὶ τὰς εὐθύνας μᾶλλον ἐκείνου. Τί δήποτε; Ὅτι αὐτὴ πρὸς τὸ βάραθρον αὐτὸν τῆς ἀσελγείας ὤθησε τῆς κατὰ νόμον ἀποστερήσασα μίξεως. Εἰ γὰρ μηδὲ πρὸς ὀλίγον τοῦτο ποιεῖν ἐπιτέτραπται ἄκοντος ἐκείνου, τίνα ἂν ἔχοι συγγνώμην ἡ διὰ παντὸς αὐτὸν ταύτης ἀφελομένη τῆς παραμυθίας; Καὶ τί ταύτης, φησί, τῆς ἀνάγκης καὶ τῆς ἐπηρείας βαρύτερον γένοιτ' ἄν; Κἀγὼ τοῦτό φημι. τίνος οὖν ἔνεκεν ὑποβάλλεις σαυτὴν τῇ ἀνάγκῃ τοσαύτῃ; Τοῦτον γὰρ τὸν λογισμὸν οὐ μετὰ τὸν γάμον ἀλλὰ πρὸ τοῦ γάμου λαβεῖν ἐχρῆν. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο καὶ ὁ Παῦλος ὑστέραν τὴν ἀπὸ τοῦ δεσμοῦ θεὶς ἀνάγκην, τότε περὶ τῆς λύσεως διαλέγεται. Εἰπὼν γὰρ «∆έδεσαι γυναικί; Μὴ ζήτει λύσιν», τὸ τηνικαῦτα ἐπήγαγε «Λέλυσαι ἀπὸ γυναικός; Μὴ ζήτει γυναῖκα.» Ποιεῖ δὲ τοῦτο ἵνα σὺ πρότερον ἀκριβῶς ἐπισκεψάμενος καὶ καταμαθὼν τὴν ἀπὸ τῆς συζυγίας βίαν εὐκολώτερον τὸν περὶ τῆς ἀγαμίας δέξῃ λόγον. «Ἐὰν δὲ καὶ γήμῃς», φησίν, «οὐχ ἥμαρτες· καὶ ἐὰν γήμῃ ἡ παρθένος, οὐχ ἥμαρτεν.» Ἰδοὺ τὸ μέγα τοῦ γάμου κατόρθωμα ποῦ τελευτᾷ· εἰς τὸ μὴ ἐγκληθῆναι, οὐκ εἰς τὸ θαυμαστωθῆναι· τοῦτο γὰρ τῆς παρθενίας ἐστίν, ὁ δὲ γεγαμηκὼς ἀρκεῖται ἀκούων ὅτι οὐχ ἥμαρτε. Τίνος οὖν ἕνεκεν παραινεῖς, φησί, μὴ ζητεῖν γυναῖκα; Καὶ ὅτι δεθέντα καθάπαξ λυθῆναι οὐκ ἔνι, ὅτι πολλὴν ἔχει τὸ πρᾶγμα τὴν θλῖψιν. Τοῦτο οὖν, εἰπέ μοι, κερδανοῦμεν ἀπὸ τῆς παρθενίας μόνον τὸ τὴν ἐνθάδε θλῖψιν διαφυγεῖν; Καὶ τίς ἀνέξεται παρθενεύειν ἐπὶ τοιούτοις μισθοῖς; Τίς δ' ἀνάσχοιτο εἰς τοσοῦτον ἀγῶνα κατιέναι μέλλων τοσούτων ἱδρώτων γέμοντα ταύτην μόνην ἀπολαμβάνειν τὴν ἀμοιβήν;