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to see it perfectly purified. But since they are unable to find the end of the light, the purification is incomplete for such people; for as much as I, wretched one, will be purified and illumined, and as much as the Spirit who purifies me will be seen, it always seems to me a beginning both of purification and of vision. For in an indefinite abyss, in an immeasurable height, who will be able to find a middle or an end? I know that it is much, but the quantity I do not know; I desire more and I always groan that what is given is little, even if I consider it much, in comparison to what is surmised to be far from me, which I desire as I see it, and I seem to have nothing, not at all perceiving the wealth given to me. That I see the sun, I do not take this into account; (63) and how? Hear, believe what I experience: the sun is sweet, ineffably drawing the soul with perception into an inexpressible and divine longing. Seeing this, it is inflamed and burns with desire and wants to possess the whole phenomenon within itself, but it cannot and is grieved by this and does not consider it a good thing either to see or to experience. When, therefore, the one who is seen, being uncontainable by all, truly unapproachable, wills to have mercy on my afflicted and humbled soul, suddenly, just as he is seen shining before my face, so is he seen flashing forth wholly in me, and he fills me, the humble one, wholly with all joy, every desire, and divine sweetness; the change is sudden, the alteration strange, what is accomplished in me happens to be inexpressible. For if someone saw this sun, which we all see, descending into his heart and dwelling there wholly and shining likewise, would he not be dead with wonder and speechless, and would not all who saw him be astonished? But he who sees its maker shining like a luminary within him, working, speaking, how would he not be astonished seeing this, how would he not shudder, how would he not love the one who gives life? Men love men like themselves, when they seem to surpass others in some way;
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τοῦ τέλεον θεάσασθαι ταύτην ἐκκαθαρθεῖσαν. Ἐπεί δέ τέλος τοῦ φωτός εὑρεῖν ἀδυνατοῦσιν, ἀτέλεστος ἡ κάθαρσις ὑπάρχει τοῖς τοιούτοις˙ ὅσον γάρ καθαρθήσομαι καί λαμπρυνθῶ, ὁ τάλας, ὅσον δ᾿ ἄν καί ὀφθήσεται τό καθαῖρόν με Πνεῦμα, ἀρχή μοι πάντοτε δοκεῖ καί καθαρμοῦ καί θέας. Ἐν ἀορίστῳ γάρ βυθῷ, ἐν ἀμετρήτῳ ὕψει τίς ἐφευρεῖν δυνήσεται μεσότητα ἤ τέλος; Οἶδα, ὅτι πολύ ἐστι, τό δέ ποσόν οὐκ οἶδα˙ ἐπιθυμῶ τοῦ πλείονος καί πάντοτε στενάζω, ὅτι ὀλίγον τό δοθέν, εἰ καί πολύ ἡγοῦμαι, πρός τό ὑπονοούμενον μακρόθεν μου τυγχάνειν, ὅπερ ὁρῶν ἐπιθυμῶ, καί δοκῶ μηδέν ἔχειν, μή ὅλως αἰσθανόμενος τοῦ δοθέντος μοι πλούτου. Ὅτι ὁρῶ τόν ἥλιον, οὐ λογίζομαι τοῦτο˙ (63) καί πῶς; Ἄκουσον, πίστευσον, ὅπερ ἐγώ πανθάνω˙ γλυκύς ἐστιν ὁ ἥλιος, ἀρρήτως ἐν αἰσθήσει ἕλκων εἰς πόθον τήν ψυχήν ἀνέκφραστον καί θεῖον. Ὁρῶσα αὕτη φλέγεται καί καίεται τῷ πόθῳ καί ὅλον τό φαινόμενον κατασχεῖν ἔνδον ταύτης θέλει, ἀλλά οὐ δύναται καί λυπεῖται ἐν τούτῳ καί οὐ λογίζεται καλόν ἤ ὁρᾶν ἤ πανθάνειν. Ὅτε οὖν ὁ ὁρώμενος ἀχώρητος ὤν πᾶσιν, ἀπρόσιτος ἐπαληθῶς θελήσει ἐλεῆσαι τήν τεθλιμμένην μου ψυχήν καί τεταπεινωμένην, αἴφνης, οἷος ὁρᾶταί μοι πρό προσώπου ἐκλάμπων, τοιοῦτος ὅλος ἐν ἐμοί ὁρᾶται ἐξαστράπτων καί ὅλος ὅλης με χαρᾶς, πάσης ἐπιθυμίας ἐμπιπλᾷ καί γλυκύτητος, τόν ταπεινόν, τῆς θείας˙ ἀθρόα ἡ μεταβολή, ἡ ἀλλοίωσις ξένη, τό ἐν ἐμοί τελούμενον ἀνέκφραστον τυγχάνει. Εἰ γάρ τοῦτον τόν ἥλιον, ὅνπερ πάντες ὁρῶμεν, ἔνδον ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ τις ἔβλεψε κατελθόντα καί ὅλον ἐνοικήσαντα καί λάμποντα ὡσαύτως, οὐχί νεκρός τῷ θαύματι καί ἄφωνος ὑπῆρξε, καί πάντες ἐξεπλάγησαν οἱ τοῦτον κατιδόντες; Ὁ δέ τόν τούτου ποιητήν ὁρῶν φωστῆρος δίκην ἐντός αὐτοῦ ἐκλάμποντα, ἐνεργοῦντα, λαλοῦντα, πῶς ἄν οὐκ ἐκπλαγήσεται βλέπων, πῶς ἄν οὐ φρίξει, πῶς ἄν οὐκ ἀγαπήσειε τόν τήν ζωήν διδόντα; Ἄνθρωποι τούς ὁμοίους αὐτοῖς ἀνθρώπους ἀγαπῶσιν, ὅταν τῶν ἄλλων πλέον τι δοκῶσιν ὑπερέχειν˙