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and are alone sufficient to overshadow all the good things of marriage. But other cares along with these also trouble her. For the wretched and miserable girl, although so vehemently strained by those pains, fears these things no less, lest something maimed and crippled come forth instead of whole and healthy, lest a female instead of a male. For this anxiety troubles them no less than the birth-pangs then; for not only in those things for which they are responsible, but also in those for which they are absolved of blame, even in these they fear their husbands no less than in the former, and letting go of considering their own safety in so great a danger, they are anxious lest something unwanted happen to the husband. But when the child has fallen to the earth and uttered its first cry, other cares again succeed, for its preservation and upbringing. And if it happens to be well-natured and suited for virtue, the parents are again in fear lest the child born suffer some terrible thing, lest it undergo an untimely death, lest it change toward some wickedness. For not only do good men come from wicked ones, but also from virtuous ones come base and wicked men. And if any of these abominable things happens, it has a grief more unbearable than if these things had happened from the beginning. But if all the good things remain steadfast, the fear of change at least is always present for them, shaking the soul of the parents and cutting off a large part of the pleasure. But it does not happen for all who are married to have children. Do you not then acknowledge again another ground for despondency? When therefore, whether there are children or not, and whether they turn out good or wicked, they are beset by various griefs and cares, from where then shall we call the life in marriage most pleasant? Again, if those living together continue in harmony, there is a fear that death falling upon them may cut off the pleasure; or rather, this is no longer just a fear, nor is the terror only a matter of expectation, but it is entirely necessary that it proceed to reality. For no one has ever been able to show both dying on one day; and since this is not possible, it is necessary for the one left behind to endure a life much harder than death, whether he has happened to have lived with her for a long time or a short one. For the one who had the longer experience, has the greater anguish, as the great familiarity makes the separation unbearable. But the one who, before tasting and being filled with the love, while desire was still at its peak, was deprived of it, mourns this very thing more than that other, and from opposite circumstances both are constrained by equal griefs. And what must be said of the separations that happen in between, the long journeys away from home, the anxieties coupled with them, the illnesses? "And what has this to do with marriage?" he says. Especially since many have often fallen ill from its very cause. For having been insulted and angered, sometimes by wrath, sometimes by despondency, they have brought on many fevers. And if, even when he is present, they suffer nothing of the sort but enjoy kindness throughout, because of his absence from home they are again beset by these evils. But nevertheless, let all these things be passed over and let us bring no charge against marriage; but not with these things shall we be able to free it from that other charge. What charge is that? That it does not permit the one who is healthy to be in any better state than the one who is sick, but brings him into the same despondency as the one who lies ill.

58 That marriage is no great thing even if it escape all griefs. Do you wish that, casting all these things out, we should posit for the sake of argument things that are impossible, and concede that there could be a marriage having all good things together: many children, good children, wealth, a wife's prudence, beauty, intelligence, harmony, a long old age? Let there be added also distinction of family and greatness of power, and let not this common affliction of nature, the fear of the change of these things, trouble them; but let every ground of despondency be removed, and every occasion for care and anxiety, and let neither any other cause nor untimely death separate the marriage, but let them all receive this on one day, or what seems to be much more blessed than these things, let the children remain as heirs,

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καὶ μόναι ἱκαναὶ πάντα συσκιάσαι τὰ τοῦ γάμου χρηστά. Θορυβοῦσι δὲ αὐτὴν καὶ ἄλλαι μετὰ τούτων φροντίδες. Ἡ γὰρ ἀθλία καὶ ταλαίπωρος κόρη καίτοι οὕτω σφοδρῶς ὑπὸ τῶν ἀλγηδόνων ἐκείνων κατατεινομένη, δέδοικε τούτων οὐχ ἧττον, μήποτε λελωβημένον καὶ ἀνάπηρον ἀντὶ ἀρτίου καὶ ὑγιοῦς προέλθῃ, μήποτε ἀντὶ ἄρρενος θῆλυ. Καὶ γὰρ καὶ αὕτη οὐχ ἧττον αὐτὰς τῶν ὠδίνων ἡ ἀγωνία θορυβεῖ τότε· οὐδὲ γὰρ ἐν οἷς εἰσιν ὑπεύθυνοι μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ ὧν τῆς αἰτίας ἀφίενται κἀν τούτοις δεδοίκασι τοὺς ἄνδρας οὐκ ἔλαττον ἢ ἐν ἐκείνοις, καὶ τὴν ἰδίαν ἀσφάλειαν ἀφεῖσαι σκοπεῖν ἐν τοσούτῳ κινδύνῳ, μεριμνῶσι μή τι τἀνδρὶ τῶν ἀβουλήτων γένηται. Τοῦ δὲ παιδίου πεσόντος εἰς τὴν γῆν καὶ πρώτην ἀφέντος φωνὴν ἕτεραι πάλιν διαδέχονται φροντίδες, ὑπὲρ τῆς σωτηρίας καὶ τῆς ἀνατροφῆς. Κἂν μὲν εὐφυὲς ὂν τύχῃ καὶ πρὸς ἀρετὴν ἐπιτήδειον, πάλιν ἐν φόβοις οἱ τεκόντες μή τι πάθῃ δεινὸν τὸ τεχθέν, μὴ θάνατον ἄωρον ὑποστῇ, μὴ μεταβάλῃ πρὸς κακίαν τινά. Οὐδὲ γὰρ ἐκ πονηρῶν χρηστοὶ γίνονται μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀπὸ σπουδαίων φαῦλοι καὶ πονηροί. Κἂν μὲν τούτων τι γένηται τῶν ἀπευκτῶν, ἀφορητοτέραν ἔχει τὴν λύπην ἢ εἰ παρὰ τὴν ἀρχὴν ταῦτα συνέπεσεν. Ἐὰν δὲ ἅπαντα μένῃ τὰ χρηστὰ βέβαια, ὁ γοῦν ἀπὸ τῆς μεταβολῆς ἀεὶ πάρεστιν αὐτοῖς φόβος κατασείων τὴν ψυχὴν τῶν τεκόντων καὶ πολὺ τῆς ἡδονῆς ὑποτεμνόμενος μέρος. Ἀλλ' οὐ πᾶσι τοῖς γεγαμηκόσι παῖδας ἔχειν συμβαίνει. Οὔκουν ἑτέραν ὁμολογεῖς πάλιν ἀθυμίας ὑπόθεσιν; Ὅταν οὖν καὶ παίδων ὄντων καὶ οὐκ ὄντων καὶ χρηστῶν γενομένων καὶ πονηρῶν διαφόροις συνέχωνται λύπαις καὶ φροντίσι, πόθεν λοιπὸν ἡδίστην καλέσομεν τὴν ἐν τῷ γάμῳ ζωήν; Πάλιν ἂν μὲν ὁμονοοῦντες οἱ συνοικοῦντες διατελῶσι, φόβος μὴ θάνατος ἐμπεσὼν διακόψῃ τὴν ἡδονήν, μᾶλλον δὲ οὐκέτι φόβος τοῦτο μόνον, οὐδὲ μέχρι προσδοκίας τὸ δεινὸν ἀλλὰ καὶ εἰς ἔργον αὐτὸ προελθεῖν πάντως ἀνάγκη. Οὐδεὶς γὰρ ἔσχεν ἐπιδεῖξαί ποτε ἐν ἡμέρᾳ μιᾷ ἀμφοτέρους τελευτήσαντας· τούτου δὲ οὐκ ὄντος δυνάτου τὸ λειπόμενον ἀνάγκη πολὺ τοῦ θανάτου χαλεπωτέραν ὑπομένειν ζωήν, ἄν τε πολὺν τύχῃ συνῳκηκὼς χρόνον ἄν τε ὀλίγον. Ἐκεῖνος μὲν γὰρ ὅσῳ πλείονα τὴν πεῖραν ἔλαβε, τοσούτῳ μείζονα ἔχει τὴν ὁδύνην τῆς πολλῆς συνηθείας ἀφόρητον ποιούσης τὸν χωρισμόν. Ὁ δὲ πρὶν ἢ γεύσασθαι καὶ ἐμπλησθῆναι τῆς φιλίας, ἀκμαζούσης ἔτι τῆς ἐπιθυμίας, αὐτὴν ἀφαιρεθεὶς αὐτὸ τοῦτο μᾶλλον ἐκείνου πενθεῖ, καὶ ἐξ ὑποθέσεων ἐναντίων ἴσοις ἀμφότεροι συνέχονται τοῖς λυπηροῖς. Τί δὲ χρὴ λέγειν τοὺς ἐν τῷ μεταξὺ γινομένους χωρισμούς, τὰς μακρὰς ἀποδημίας, τὰς συνεζευγμένας αὐτοῖς ἀγωνίας, τὰς νόσους; Καὶ τί τοῦτο πρὸς τὸν γάμον; φησί. Μάλιστα μὲν καὶ ἀπὸ τῆς αἰτίας τῆς τούτου πολλαὶ πολλάκις ἠρρώστησαν. Καὶ γὰρ ὑβρισθεῖσαι καὶ ὀργισθεῖσαι τότε μὲν ὑπὸ τοῦ θυμοῦ, τότε δὲ ὑπὸ τῆς ἀθυμίας πολλοὺς ἔτεκον πυρετούς. Ἐὰν δὲ καὶ παρόντος μηδὲν πάθωσι τοιοῦτον ἀλλὰ προσηνοῦς ἀπολαύσωσι διὰ παντός, ὑπὸ τῆς ἀποδημίας εἰς ταῦτα πάλιν περιίστανται τὰ κακά. Πλὴν ἀλλὰ ταῦτα πάντα παρείσθω καὶ μηδὲν ἐγκαλῶμεν τῷ γάμῳ, ἀλλ' οὐχὶ μετὰ τούτων κἀκείνης αὐτὸν ἀπαλλάξαι δυνησόμεθα τῆς αἰτίας. Ποίας δὴ ταύτης; Ὅτι τὸν ὑγιαίνοντα οὐδὲν ἀφίησιν ἄμεινον τοῦ κάμνοντος διακεῖσθαι ἀλλ' εἰς τὴν αὐτὴν τῷ κειμένῳ καθίστησιν ἀθυμίαν.

58 Ὅτι οὐδὲν μέγα ὁ γάμος κἂν πάντα διαφύγῃ τὰ λυπηρά. Βούλει καὶ ταῦτα πάντα ἐκβαλόντες θῶμεν τῷ λόγῳ τὰ ἀδύνατα καὶ συγχωρήσωμεν γενέσθαι γάμον πάντα ὅμου ἔχοντα τὰ ἀγαθά, πολυπαιδίαν, εὐπαιδίαν, πλοῦτον, γυναικὸς σωφροσύνην, κάλλος, σύνεσιν, ὁμόνοιαν, γῆρας μακρόν; Προσέστω καὶ γένους περιφάνεια καὶ δυναστείας μέγεθος καὶ μηδὲ τὸ κοινὸν τοῦτο τῆς φύσεως ὀχλείτω πάθος ὁ φόβος τῆς τούτων μεταβολῆς, ἀλλ' ἐξαιρείσθω πᾶσα μὲν ἀθυμίας ὑπόθεσις, πᾶσα δὲ φροντίδος καὶ μερίμνης ἀφορμὴ καὶ μήτε ἄλλη τις αἰτία μήτε θάνατος ἄωρος διαζευγνύτω τὸν γάμον, ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῦτον ἐν μιᾷ πάντες δεχέσθωσαν ἡμέρᾳ ἢ ὃ τούτων πολλῷ μακαριώτερον εἶναι δοκεῖ, μενέτωσαν μὲν οἱ παῖδες κληρονόμοι,