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and they will put an end to all activities and thoughts, but they also weigh me down with the magnitude of your glory and almost persuade me to cease, my Savior, to speak nothing, to do nothing, nor to touch these things, and I am at a loss within myself and, marveling, I grieve. How did I, wretched one, give myself over to minister and serve in such ineffable matters? At which angels shudder to gaze fearlessly, prophets were afraid, having perceived at once the incomprehensibility of the glory and of the economy; apostles and martyrs and a multitude of teachers cry out and shout, expressly proclaiming themselves unworthy to all who are in the world. But how could I, the prodigal, and how could I, the fornicator, and how could I, the lowly one, be deemed worthy to become also a leader of brothers, a minister of the divine mysteries (83) and a celebrant for the undefiled Trinity? For where there is bread of the flesh and of the blood, O Word, there you yourself are, my God and Word, and these things truly become your body and blood by the coming of the Spirit and the power of the Most High; and daring, we touch the unapproachable God, or rather, the one dwelling in unapproachable light, unapproachable not only to this corruptible and human nature, but also to all the bodiless hosts of angels. This ineffable thing, then, this work and undertaking beyond nature, which I was appointed to do, persuades me to see death before my eyes; wherefore, putting aside pleasure, I was seized with trembling, knowing that it is impossible for me and for all, I think, to minister worthily and to have such an angelic life in a body, or rather, one beyond the angels, as the word has shown and the truth holds, and to become worthily more intimate than they, as one who touches with hands and eats with the mouth Him before whom they stand, shuddering with trembling. But the judgment concerning the brothers, whom I am appointed to shepherd, what soul could bear, what mind could manage to attend to the disposition of each one without condemnation, and to contribute everything from himself unfailingly, and to deliver himself from their judgment? This does not seem to me to be in any way possible for humans;
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καί ἐνεργείας παύσουσι καί φρονήσεις ἁπάσας, ἀλλά καί τῷ μεγέθει σου βαρύνουσι τῆς δόξης καί παύσασθαι παρά μικρόν πείθουσί με, Σωτήρ μου, μηδέν λαλεῖν,μηδέν ποιεῖν, μηδέ ἅπτεσθαι τούτων, καί ἀπορῶ ἐν ἐμαυτῷ καί θαυμάζων λυποῦμια. Πῶς τοῖς τοιούτοις ἐμαυτόν πράγμασιν ἀπορρήτοις ἐξέδωκα διακονεῖν καί λειτουργεῖν, ὁ τάλας; Ἐν οἷς ἄγγελοι φρίττουσιν ἀδεῶς ἀτενίσαι, προφῆται ἐδειλίασαν ἐνωτισθέντες ἅμα δόξης τό ἀκατάληπτον καί τῆς οἰκονομίας˙ ἀπόστολοι καί μάρτυρες καί διδασκάλων πλῆθος βοῶσι καί κραυγάζουσιν ἑαυτούς ἀναξίους διαρρήδην κηρύττοντες ἅπασι τοῖς ἐν κόσμῳ. Ἐγώ δέ πῶς, ὁ ἄσωτος, καί πῶς ἐγώ, ὁ πόρνος, καί πῶς ἐγώ, ὁ ταπεινός, γενέσθαι ἠξιώθην καί ἀδελφῶν ἡγούμενος, τῶν θείων μυστηρίων (83) ἱερουργός καί λειτουργός τῆς ἀχράντου Τριάδος; Ὅπου γάρ ἄρτος σαρκός καί τοῦ αἵματος, Λόγε, ἐκεῖ ὑπάρχεις σύ αὐτός, ὁ Θεός μου καί Λόγος, καί ταῦτα σῶμα γίνεται σόν ἀληθῶς καί αἷμα ἐπελεύσει τοῦ Πνεύματος καί δυνάμει Ὑψίστου˙ καί τολμῶντες ἁπτόμεθα θεοῦ τοῦ ἀπροσίτου, μᾶλλον δέ τοῦ οἰκοῦντος ἐν φωτί ἀπροσίτῳ, οὐ μόνον φύσει τῇ φθαρτῇ ταύτῃ καί ἀνθρωπίνῃ, ἀλλά καί πάσαις νεοραῖς στρατιαῖς τῶν ἀγγέλων. Τοῦτο οὖν τό ἀπόρρητον, τοῦτο τό ὑπέρ φύσιν ἔργον τε καί ἐγχείρημα, ὅπερ ποιεῖν ἐτάχθην, πείθει με καί τόν θάνατον πρό ὀφθαλμῶν μου βλέπειν˙ ὅθεν ἀφείς τό ἥδεσθαι τῷ τρόμῳ συνεσχέθην εἰδώς, ὅτι ἀδύνατον ἐμοί καί πᾶσιν, οἶμαι, τό κατ᾿ ἀξίαν λειτουργεῖν καί βίον οὕτως ἔχειν ἀγγελικόν ἐν σώματι, μᾶλλον δ᾿ ὑπέρ ἀγγέλους, ἵν᾿ ὁ λόγος ἔδειξε καί ἡ ἀλήθεια ἔχει, καί οἰκειότερος αὐτῶν γένηται κατ᾿ ἀξίαν ὡς καί χερσίν ἁπτόμενος καί στόματι ἐσθίων, ὅνπερ ἐκεῖνοι φρίττοντες παρίστανται σύν τρόμῳ. Τό δέ κρῖμα τῶν ἀδελφῶν, οὕς τέταγμαι ποιμαίνειν, ποία ψυχή βαστάσειε, ποῖος νοῦς εὐπορήσῃ ἀκατακρίτως μετελθεῖν ἑνός ἑκάστου γνώμην καί πάντα τά παρ᾿ ἑαυτοῦ ἀνελλιπῶς εἰσφέρειν καί ἐξελέσθαι κρίματος ἑαυτόν τοῦ ἐκείνων; Οὔ μοί δοκεῖ πως δυνατόν ἀνθρώποις εἶναι τοῦτο˙