John Chrysostom, On Virginity

in holiness both in body and in spirit. "But she that is married," he says, "cares how she may please her husband." Very wisely he did not proceed to an examination of the matters themselves, nor did he say how many things women suffer for the sake of pleasing their husbands both in body and in soul, torturing and powdering the one and straining it with other punishments, and filling the other with servility, flattery, hypocrisy, pettiness, and superfluous and unprofitable cares. But having alluded to all these things in one phrase, he left it to the conscience of his hearers to reflect on them, and having thus shown the superiority of virginity and lifted it up to heaven itself, he again shifts his discourse to the concession of marriage, everywhere fearing lest someone should think the matter a command. Wherefore he was not content with his former exhortations, but after saying, "I have no commandment of the Lord," and, "If a virgin marries, she has not sinned," he says here again, "Not that I may cast a snare upon you."

That not virginity is a snare, but our lack of zeal. On which account one might also reasonably be at a loss, how above he calls the matter a release from bonds and says he advises it for our benefit, both that we may not have affliction and that we may be without cares, and because he spares us, and through all these things showing its lightness and bearableness, he here says, "Not that I may cast a snare upon you?" What then is it? He did not call virginity a snare—far from it—but the choosing this good thing with force and necessity. For so it is. Whatever anyone accepts under compulsion and unwillingly, even if it be very light, becomes more unbearable than all things and, worse than a noose, chokes our soul. For this reason he said, "Not that I may cast a snare upon you," that is: I have spoken and demonstrated all the good things of virginity, and yet after all this I entrust the choice of the matter to you, not dragging you to virtue unwillingly. For neither did I advise these things wishing to afflict you, but so that your comely attendance might not be cut short by the affairs of this life. But observe for me here also the wisdom of Paul, how by his disclaimers he again introduced an exhortation, and through concession, counsel. For to say "I do not compel but I exhort," and to add "for that which is comely and that you may attend," showed the wonder of virginity and how great the gain is for us in the life according to God that comes from it. For it is not possible for one entangled in worldly cares and dragged about everywhere to attend well, when all her zeal and leisure are divided among many things, I mean to her husband and the care of her house and all the other things that marriage is accustomed to bring in its train.

That she who is anxious about worldly things would not be a virgin. What then does he say when even the virgin is occupied with many things and has worldly cares—far from it—having dragged this one outside the choir of virgins? For it is not enough not to be married to make a virgin, but there is need also of purity of soul, and by purity I mean not only to be free from wicked and shameful desire and from adornments and meddlesomeness, but also to be pure from worldly care. But if this is not the case, what is the benefit of bodily purity? For just as nothing could be more shameful than a soldier who has cast away his weapons and spends his time in taverns, so nothing is more unseemly than virgins bound by worldly cares. For even those five had lamps and practiced virginity, but they got no benefit from any of these things, but with the doors shut they remained outside and were lost. For virginity is a good thing for this reason, that it cuts off every occasion for superfluous care and devotes all one's leisure to the works of God, so that if it did not have this, it becomes again much inferior to marriage, bearing thorns in the soul and choking the pure and heavenly seed.

ἁγιωσύνῃ τῇ κατὰ σῶμα καὶ κατὰ πνεῦμα. «Ἡ δὲ γαμηθεῖσα», φησί, «μεριμνᾷ πῶς ἀρέσει τῷ ἀνδρί.» Σφόδρα συνετῶς οὐκ ἦλθεν ἐπὶ τὴν τῶν πραγμάτων αὐτῶν ἐξέτασιν οὐδὲ εἶπεν ὅσα πάσχουσι γυναῖκες ὑπὲρ τῆς εἰς τοὺς ἄνδρας ἀρεσκείας καὶ τῷ σώματι καὶ τῇ ψυχῇ, τὸ μὲν βασανίζουσαι καὶ κονιῶσαι καὶ ἑτέραις κολάσεσι κατατείνουσαι, τὴν δὲ ἀνελευθερίας, κολακείας, ὑποκρίσεως, μικροψυχίας, φροντίδων περιττῶν καὶ ἀνονήτων πληροῦσαι. Ἀλλὰ μιᾷ ῥήσει πάντα ταῦτα αἰνιξάμενος ἀφῆκε τῷ συνειδότι τῶν ἀκουόντων αὐτὰ ἀναλογίσασθαι, καὶ δείξας οὕτω τῆς παρθενίας τὴν ὑπεροχὴν καὶ πρὸς αὐτὸν ἄρας αὐτὴν τὸν οὐρανόν, πάλιν μετατίθησιν ἐπὶ τὴν τοῦ γάμου συγχώρησιν τὸν λόγον, πανταχοῦ δεδοικὼς μή τις τὸ πρᾶγμα ἐπίταγμα εἶναι νομίσῃ. ∆ιόπερ οὐδὲ ἠρκέσθη ταῖς προτέραις παραινέσεσιν ἀλλ' εἰπών· «Ἐπιταγὴν κυρίου οὐκ ἔχω», καὶ «Ἐὰν γήμῃ ἡ παρθένος, οὐχ ἥμαρτε», πάλιν ἐνταῦθά φησιν· «Οὐχ ἵνα βρόχον ὑμῖν ἐπιβάλω.»

76 Ὅτι οὐχ ἡ παρθενία βρόχος ἀλλὰ τὸ ἡμῖν ἀπρόθυμον. Ὑπὲρ οὗ καὶ διαπορήσειεν ἄν τις εἰκότως, πῶς ἀνωτέρω λύσιν δεσμῶν τὸ πρᾶγμα καλῶν καὶ πρὸς τὸ συμφέρον ἡμῖν αὐτὸ συμβουλεύειν λέγων, καὶ ἵνα θλῖψιν μὴ ἔχωμεν καὶ ἵνα ἀμέριμνοι ὦμεν καὶ ἐπειδὴ φείδεται ἡμῶν καὶ διὰ τούτων ἁπάντων δεικνὺς τὸ κοῦφον αὐτοῦ καὶ φορητὸν ἐνταῦθά φησιν· «Οὐχ ἵνα βρόχον ὑμῖν ἐπιβάλω;» Τί οὖν ἐστιν; Οὐ τὴν παρθενίαν βρόχον ἐκάλεσεν-ἄπαγε-ἀλλὰ τὸ μετὰ βίας καὶ ἀνάγκης αἱρεῖσθαι τοῦτο τὸ καλόν. Καὶ γὰρ οὕτως ἔχει. Πᾶν ὅπερ ἂν βιαζόμενος καὶ μετὰ τοῦ μὴ βούλεσθαι καταδέχηταί τις, κἂν σφόδρα κοῦφον ᾖ, πάντων ἀφορητότερον γίνεται καὶ ἀγχόνης χαλεπώτερον τὴν ἡμετέραν ἀποπνίγει ψυχήν. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο εἶπεν· «Οὐχ ἵνα βρόχον ὑμῖν ἐπιβάλω», τοῦτό ἐστιν· ἅπαντα τὰ καλὰ τῆς παρθενίας εἶπον καὶ ἀπέδειξα, καὶ μετὰ ταῦτα ὅμως ἅπαντα τὴν αἵρεσιν ὑμῖν ἐπιτρέπω τοῦ πράγματος, οὐχὶ μὴ βουλομένους ἕλκω πρὸς τὴν ἀρετήν. Οὐδὲ γὰρ ὑμᾶς θλῖψαι βουλόμενος ταῦτα συνεβούλευσα ἀλλ' ὥστε μὴ τὴν εὐσχήμονα προσεδρίαν ὑπὸ τῶν βιωτικῶν ἐκκοπῆναι πραγμάτων. Σὺ δέ μοι θέα κἀνταῦθα τοῦ Παύλου τὴν σύνεσιν, πῶς ταῖς παραιτήσεσι πάλιν παραίνεσιν ἐπεισήγαγε καὶ διὰ τῆς συγχωρήσεως συμβουλήν. Τὸ γὰρ εἰπεῖν «Οὐκ ἀναγκάζω ἀλλὰ παραινῶ», καὶ προσθεῖναι «διὰ τὸ εὔσχημον καὶ εὐπρόσεδρον», ἔδειξε τῆς παρθενίας τὸ θαυμαστὸν καὶ τὸ κέρδος ὅσον ἡμῖν ἐν τῇ κατὰ Θεὸν ἀπ' αὐτῆς γίνεται πολιτείᾳ. Οὐ γὰρ ἔνι τὴν βιωτικαῖς ἐμπεπλεγμένην φροντίσι καὶ πανταχοῦ περιελκομένην εὐπρόσεδρον εἶναι, τῆς σπουδῆς καὶ σχολῆς ἁπάσης εἰς πολλὰ μεριζομένης, εἰς ἄνδρα λέγω καὶ οἰκίας ἐπιμέλειαν καὶ τῶν ἄλλων ἁπάντων ἅπερ ὁ γάμος ἐπισύρεσθαι εἴωθεν.

77 Ὅτι ἡ τὰ βιωτικὰ μεριμνῶσα οὐκ ἂν εἴη παρθένος. Τί οὖν φησιν ὅταν καὶ ἡ παρθένος πολλὰ πραγματεύηται καὶ μερίμνας ἔχῃ βιωτικάς-ἄπαγε-ἔξω ταύτην ἑλκύσας τοῦ τῶν παρθένων χοροῦ; Οὐ γὰρ ἀρκεῖ τὸ μὴ γαμηθῆναι ποιῆσαι παρθένον ἀλλὰ δεῖ καὶ τῆς ψυχικῆς ἁγνείας, ἁγνείαν δὲ λέγω οὐ τὸ πονηρᾶς καὶ αἰσχρᾶς ἐπιθυμίας ἀπηλλάχθαι μόνον καὶ καλλωπισμάτων καὶ περιεργίας, ἀλλὰ καὶ φροντίδος εἶναι καθαρὰν βιωτικῆς. Ἂν δὲ μὴ τοῦτο ᾖ, τί τὸ ὄφελος τῆς σωματικῆς καθαρότητος; Ὥσπερ γὰρ στρατιώτου οὐδὲν αἰσχρότερον γένοιτ' ἂν τὰ ὅπλα ῥίψαντος καὶ καπηλείοις σχολάζοντος, οὕτως οὐδὲ παρθένων ἀσχημονέστερον βιωτικαῖς ἐνδεδεμένων φροντίσι. Καὶ γὰρ αἱ πέντε ἐκεῖναι καὶ λαμπάδας εἶχον καὶ παρθενίαν ἤσκησαν ἀλλ' οὐδενὸς τούτων ἀπώναντο, ἀλλὰ τῶν θυρῶν ἀποκλεισθεισῶν ἔμενον ἔξω καὶ ἀπώλλυντο. Καὶ γὰρ ἡ παρθενία διὰ τοῦτο καλὸν ὅτι πᾶσαν ἐκκόπτει φροντίδος ὑπόθεσιν περιττῆς καὶ πᾶσαν σχολὴν τοῖς κατὰ Θεὸν ἀνατίθησιν ἔργοις, ὡς ἂν μὴ τοῦτο ἔχοι, πολὺ τοῦ γάμου πάλιν ἐλάττων γίνεται ἀκάνθας ἐν τῇ ψυχῇ περιφέρουσα καὶ τὸν καθαρὸν καὶ οὐράνιον συμπνίγουσα σπόρον.