John Chrysostom, On Virginity

78 Why does he not strongly rebuke him who thinks he is behaving unseemly toward his virgin? "But if any man," he says, "thinks he is behaving unseemly toward his virgin, if she is past her prime and so it ought to be, let him do what he will, he does not sin, let them marry." What are you saying, "let him do what he will"? And you do not correct the mistaken opinion but permit marriage? For why did you not say, if he thinks he is behaving unseemly toward his virgin, he is miserable and wretched for thinking that so wonderful a thing is a reproach? Why did you not advise him, having been delivered from this suspicion, to lead his own daughter away from marriage? Because, he says, such souls were of the very weak and those who crawl on the ground; and it was not possible to lead souls so disposed all at once to the discourses in favor of virginity. For one who is so terrified of the affairs of the world and so admires the present life that even after so much exhortation he considers worthy of shame that which is worthy of the heavens and near to the angelic state, how would he have endured counsel leading him to this? And what wonder is it if Paul did this in a permitted matter, when indeed he does the same again in a forbidden and unlawful one? This is what I mean: to hold to the observance of foods and to approve this while rejecting that, was a sign of Jewish weakness. But nevertheless, there were among the Romans those who had this weakness, and not only did he not accuse them with vehemence but he also does something more than this. For leaving aside those who are sinning, he rebukes those who try to prevent them, saying, "But you, why do you judge your brother?" But when he wrote to the Colossians he did not do this, but with great authority both rebukes them and philosophizes, saying: "Therefore let no one judge you in food or in drink." And again: "If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations, 'Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch' (referring to things that all perish as they are used)." Why then does he do this? Because the former were strong, but the Romans still needed much condescension, and he waited for the faith to be fixed in their souls first, fearing lest, coming too soon and faster than was necessary to pull up the tares, he should pull up by the roots along with them the plants of sound teaching as well. For this reason, he neither rebukes them vehemently nor does he leave them without rebuke, but he does rebuke them, yet unsuspectedly and covertly and in his rebuke of others. For to say, "To his own master he stands or falls," seems to silence the one rebuking him, but in truth it stings the other's soul, showing that to choose such things is not characteristic of those who are firm or stand steadfastly, but of those who are still being shaken, not standing firm and in danger of falling. He observes the same law here also on account of the great weakness of the one who is ashamed of the matter. For he does not address him openly, but in his praises of the one who keeps his virgin he gives him a sharp blow. For what does he say? "But he who stands steadfast in his heart". And this is said in contrast to the one who is easily and readily carried about and never knows how to walk steadfastly nor to stand with much courage. Then, since he perceived that the saying was enough to sting his soul, see how he veiled it again, introducing a reason not very worthy of accusation. For having said, "But he who stands steadfast in his heart," he added, "having no necessity, but has authority." And yet it would have been consistent to say: but he who stands steadfast and does not think the matter to be a disgrace; but this would have been more striking. Therefore he added something else instead of this, comforting him and allowing him rather to come to this reason. For it is not so terrible to forbid the matter because of necessity as because of shame. For the latter is characteristic of a cowardly and wretched soul, but the former also of one that is perverse and does not even know how to judge the nature of things correctly. But not yet of these words

78 ∆ιὰ τί μὴ σφόδρα καθάπτεται τοῦ νομίζοντος ἀσχημονεῖν ἐπὶ τὴν αὑτοῦ παρθένον. «Εἰ δέ τις», φησίν, «ἀσχημονεῖν ἐπὶ τὴν παρθένον αὐτοῦ νομίζει, ἐὰν ᾖ ὑπέρακμος καὶ οὕτως ὀφείλει γίνεσθαι, ὃ θέλει ποιείτω, οὐχ ἁμαρτάνει, γαμείτωσαν.» Τί λέγεις, ὃ θέλει ποιείτω; Καὶ οὐ διορθοῖς τὴν ἐσφαλμένην γνώμην ἀλλ' ἐπιτρέπεις γαμεῖν; ∆ιὰ τί γὰρ οὐκ εἶπες, εἰ δὲ ἀσχημονεῖν ἐπὶ τὴν παρθένον αὐτοῦ νομίζει, ἄθλιός ἐστι καὶ ταλαίπωρος πρᾶγμα οὕτω θαυμαστὸν ἐπονείδιστον εἶναι νομίζων; ∆ιὰ τί μὴ συνεβούλευσας ταύτης ἀπαλλαγέντα τῆς ὑποψίας, ἀπαγαγεῖν τοῦ γάμου τὴν αὑτοῦ θυγατέρα; Ὅτι, φησί, τῶν σφόδρα ἀσθενῶν καὶ χαμαὶ συρομένων ἦσαν αἱ τοιαῦται ψυχαί· τὰς δὲ οὕτω διακειμένας οὐκ ἐνῆν ἀθρόον ἀναγαγεῖν ἐπὶ τοὺς ὑπὲρ τῆς παρθενίας λόγους. Ὁ γὰρ οὕτω πρὸς τὰ τοῦ κόσμου πράγματα ἐπτοημένος καὶ τὸν παρόντα βίον θαυμάζων ὡς καὶ μετὰ τὴν τοσαύτην παραίνεσιν αἰσχύνης ἄξιον εἶναι νομίζειν, ὃ τῶν οὐρανῶν ἄξιόν ἐστι καὶ τῆς ἀγγελικῆς πολιτείας ἐγγύς, πῶς ἂν ἠνέσχετο συμβουλῆς εἰς τοῦτο ἐναγούσης αὐτόν; Καὶ τί θαυμαστὸν εἰ ἐπὶ πράγματος συγκεχωρημένου τοῦτο ὁ Παῦλος ἐποίησεν, ὅπου γε ἐπὶ κεκωλυμένου καὶ παρανόμου τὸ αὐτὸ πάλιν ποιεῖ; Οἷόν τι λέγω· τὸ τῆς τῶν βρωμάτων παρατηρήσεως ἔχεσθαι καὶ τοῦτο μὲν ἐγκρίνειν, ἐκεῖνο δὲ ἐκβάλλειν, Ἰουδαϊκῆς ἀσθενείας ἦν. Ἀλλ' ὅμως ἦσαν παρὰ Ῥωμαίοις οἱ ταύτην ἔχοντες τὴν ἀσθένειαν, καὶ οὐ μόνον αὐτῶν οὐ κατηγόρησε μετὰ σφοδρότητος ἀλλὰ καὶ ἕτερόν τι τούτου πλέον ποιεῖ. Τοὺς γὰρ ἁμαρτάνοντας ἀφεὶς τοῖς ἐπιχειροῦσι κωλύειν αὐτοὺς ἐπιτιμᾷ λέγων· «Σὺ δὲ τί κρίνεις τὸν ἀδελφόν σου;» Ἀλλ' οὐχ ὅτε Κολοσσαεῦσιν ἐπέστειλε τοῦτο ἐποίησεν ἀλλὰ μετὰ πολλῆς ἐξουσίας καὶ καθάπτεται αὐτῶν καὶ φιλοσοφεῖ λέγων· «Μὴ οὖν τις ὑμᾶς κρινέτω ἐν βρώσει ἢ ἐν πόσει.» Καὶ πάλιν· «Εἰ ἀπεθάνετε ἐν Χριστῷ ἀπὸ τῶν στοιχείων τοῦ κόσμου, τί ὡς ζῶντες ἐν κόσμῳ δογματίζετε, μὴ ἅψῃ μηδὲ γεύσῃ μηδὲ θίγῃς ἅ ἐστι πάντα εἰς φθορὰν τῇ ἀποχρήσει.» Τί δήποτε οὖν τοῦτο ποιεῖ; Ὅτι ἐκεῖνοι μὲν ἦσαν ἰσχυροί, Ῥωμαῖοι δὲ πολλῆς ἔτι τῆς συγκαταβάσεως ἐδέοντο, καὶ περιέμεινε πρότερον τὴν πίστιν ἐν ταῖς ἐκείνων παγῆναι ψυχαῖς, δεδοικὼς μὴ πρὸ καιροῦ καὶ τοῦ δέοντος θᾶττον ἐπὶ τὸ τὰ ζιζάνια ἀνασπάσαι ἐλθὼν πρόρριζα μετ' αὐτῶν συνανασπάσῃ καὶ τὰ τῆς ὑγιοῦς διδασκαλίας φυτά. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο οὔτε καθικνεῖται αὐτῶν σφοδρῶς οὔτε ἀνεπιτιμήτους ἀφίησιν ἀλλὰ καθάπτεται μέν, ἀνυπόπτως δὲ καὶ λανθανόντως καὶ ἐν τῇ τῶν ἑτέρων ἐπιτιμήσει. Τὸ γὰρ λέγειν «Τῷ ἰδίῳ κυρίῳ στήκει ἢ πίπτει», δοκεῖ μὲν ἐπιστομίζειν τὸν ἐπιπλήττοντα ἐκείνῳ, τὸ δὲ ἀληθὲς τὴν τούτου δάκνει ψυχὴν ἐμφαίνων ὅτι τὸ τὰ τοιαῦτα αἱρεῖσθαι οὐ τῶν βεβαίων οὐδὲ τῶν παγίως ἑστώτων ἐστίν, ἀλλὰ τῶν ἔτι σαλευομένων, τῶν μὴ ἱσταμένων καὶ πεσεῖν κινδυνευόντων. Τὸν αὐτὸν δὴ κἀνταῦθα φυλάττει νόμον διὰ τὴν πόλλην ἀσθένειαν τοῦ αἰσχυνομένου τῷ πράγματι. Οὐ γὰρ φανερῶς πρὸς αὐτὸν ἀποτείνεται ἀλλ' ἐν τοῖς ἐπαίνοις τοῦ τὴν ἑαυτοῦ διατηροῦντος παρθένον δίδωσιν αὐτῷ σφοδρὰν τὴν πληγήν. Τί γάρ φησιν; «Ὃς δὲ ἕστηκεν ἑδραῖος ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ». Τοῦτο δὲ πρὸς ἀντιδιαστολὴν εἴρηται τοῦ εὐκόλως καὶ εὐχερῶς περιφερομένου καὶ οὐδέποτε βέβαια βαδίζειν εἰδότος οὐδὲ ἑστάναι μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ἀνδρείας. Εἶτα ἐπειδὴ συνεῖδεν ἱκανὸν ὄντα τὸν λόγον δακεῖν τὴν ἐκείνου ψυχήν, ὅρα πῶς αὐτὸν συνεσκίασε πάλιν αἰτίαν ἐπαγαγὼν οὐ σφόδρα κατηγορίας ἀξίαν. Εἰπὼν γὰρ «Ὃς δὲ ἕστηκεν ἑδραῖος ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ», προσέθηκε «Μὴ ἔχων ἀνάγκην, ἐξουσίαν δὲ ἔχων.» Καίτοι ἀκόλουθον ἦν εἰπεῖν· ὃς δὲ ἕστηκεν ἑδραῖος καὶ μὴ νομίζων τὸ πρᾶγμα ἀσχημοσύνην εἶναι· ἀλλὰ τοῦτο πληκτικώτερον ἦν. ∆ιὸ ἕτερον ἀντὶ τούτου προσέθηκε παραμυθούμενος αὐτὸν καὶ διδοὺς μᾶλλον ἐπὶ ταύτην ἐλθεῖν τὴν αἰτίαν. Οὐ γὰρ οὕτω δεινὸν τὸ πρᾶγμα δι' ἀνάγκην κωλύειν ὡς δι' αἰσχύνην. Τοῦτο μὲν γὰρ ψυχῆς ἐστιν ἀνάνδρου καὶ ταλαιπώρου, ἐκεῖνο δὲ καὶ διεστραμμένης καὶ οὐδὲ τὴν τῶν πραγμάτων φύσιν ἐπισταμένης κρίνειν ὀρθῶς. Ἀλλὰ τούτων οὔπω τῶν λόγων