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of my immeasurable stumbles, of my many transgressions? For I have truly done deeds beyond all pardon! You know what I say, Savior, I have transgressed every nature, having done deeds contrary to nature; I was seen to be worse than the irrational creatures, of all sea creatures, (97) and of all land animals, and of reptiles and beasts I have become truly worse transgressing your commandments beyond the nature of irrational creatures. Therefore, having defiled my body and polluted my soul, how shall I be seen by you, how shall I look upon you, how shall I, wretched one, dare at all to stand before your face? How shall I not flee your glory and the flashing light of your Holy Spirit? And how shall I not go alone to the darkness, I who have done the works of darkness, and be separated from the multitude of the Saints? How shall I endure your voice sending me forth into darkness, I who from here, from my works, bear my condemnation? Shuddering all over, trembling all over, completely seized by fear and amazement, I cry out to you: I know, Savior, that no other has stumbled against you as I have, nor done the deeds which I, wretched one, have done, and I became a cause of perdition for others also. But this again I know, (98) this I am persuaded of, my God, that neither the magnitude of stumbles,
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τῶν ἀμέτρων μου πταισμάτων, τῶν πολλῶν πλημμελημάτων; Ὄντως ἔπραξα γάρ ἔργα ὑπέρ ἅπασαν συγγνώμην! Οἶδας ἅπερ λέγω, Σῶτερ, πᾶσαν φύσιν ὑπερέβην παρά φύσιν ἔργα πράξας˙ τῶν ἀλόγων ὤφθην χείρων, πάντων ζῴων ἐναλίων, (97) πάντων τε κτηνῶν χερσαίων, ἑρπετῶν τε καί θηρίων ἐγενόμην ὄντως χείρων παραβάς τάς ἐντολάς σου ὑπέρ τήν ἀλόγων φύσιν. Τό οὖν σῶμά μου μολύνας καί ψυχήν καταρρυπώσας πῶς ὀφθῶ σοι, πῶς σε βλέψω, ὅλως πῶς τολμήσω στῆναι πρό προσώπου σου, ὁ τάλας; Πῶς μή φεύξομαι σήν δόξαν καί τό φῶς τό ἀπαστράπτον τοῦ Ἁγίου Πνεύματός σου; Πῶς δέ μόνος οὐ χωρήσω πρός τό σκότος, ὁ τοῦ σκότους ἔργα πραξας, καί Ἁγίων χωρισθήσομαι πληθύος; Πῶς ἀνέξομαι φωνῆς σου ἐκπεμπούσης με εἰς σκότος, ὁ ἐντεῦθεν ἐκ τῶν ἔργων φέρων μου τήν καταδίκην; Φρίττων ὅλος, τρέμων ὅλος, ὅλος φόβῳ καί ἐκπλήξει συνεχόμενος βοῶ σοι˙ Οἶδα, Σῶτερ, ὅτι ἄλλος ὡς ἐγώ οὐκ ἔπταισέ σοι, οὐδέ ἔπραξε τάς πράξεις, ἅσπερ ἔπραξα ἐγώ ὁ τάλας, καί παραίτιος καί ἄλλοις ἐγενόμην ἀπωλείας. Ἀλλά τοῦτο πάλιν οἶδα, (98) τοῦτο πέπεισμαι, Θεέ μου, ὡς οὐ μέγεθος πταισμάτων,