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being taught; I will wash my hands among the innocent, and I will go about your altar, O Lord; but here, as one who has already advanced and obtained the result of the promise of his prayer, he adds, saying: I have gone about and have offered in his tabernacle a sacrifice of jubilation; and whereas before it was said: "That I may hear the voice of praise;" here it is: "I will sing and I will chant to the Lord." Hear, O Lord, my voice, with which I have cried out; have mercy on me and hear me. My heart said to you: my face has sought you; your face, O Lord, will I seek. Instead of "My heart said to you: my face has sought you," Symmachus has rendered it more clearly, saying: "My heart spoke to you; my face sought you." For the face of the soul longed for the appropriate vision. And Moses once asked to obtain this, saying to God: "Behold, I have found favor in your sight; show me yourself, that I may see you plainly;" so that with unveiled face he might behold the glory of the Lord. Therefore he says: "Your face, O Lord, I will seek; do not turn your face from me." For if there is ultimate perfection, and the final progress 23.244 according to God, it would be this: that which leads to the face of God, so as to stand before him and enjoy the splendors of his divinity. But knowing that God often turns himself away from those who cannot contain his face nor are worthy of him, showing his back, as he said to Moses: "You shall see my back parts, but my face shall not be seen by you;" therefore, so that the one indicated through the preceding words might not suffer this, he supplicates and begs, saying: "Do not turn your face from me; do not turn away in anger from your servant." Be my helper, do not cast me off, and do not forsake me, O God my Savior. For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord has taken me up. Lest, because I have dared such things, you turn away from me your servant. For it is not permitted for a man clothed in flesh to be counted worthy of such things; for this reason you said to Moses: "No one shall see my face and live." For mortal life is unable to bear the sight of your face; therefore, rather be my helper in obtaining what I have asked. "Do not cast me off;" instead of which Symmachus rendered, "Do not reject me;" and Aquila: "Do not leave me." Then he adds: "And do not forsake me, O God my Savior." For when you support me, and stretch out your right hand, there is hope of obtaining all good things. Since no other helper is present for me; for of human necessities no one would be more beloved than father and mother; but these themselves have left me behind because I have withdrawn from them all, and devote myself only to you, O God. Therefore I also give thanks, that being bereft of all and forsaken, I have been received by you. Give me a law in your way, and guide me in a straight path because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the souls of those who afflict me, for unjust witnesses have risen up against me, and iniquity has lied to itself. The divine Apostle often taught about himself and said: "For I am in no way inferior to the most eminent apostles;" to these things he added, saying: "Not that I have already obtained it, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of it;" and again elsewhere: "I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified." For as far as comparison with men is concerned, he was conscious that he had made progress, and had attained perfection among men; but as for the truth, he knew that he fell short of himself in many things, and for this reason he confessed that he was imperfect. It seems to me that with this thought, the one who went through the preceding matters has given fitting thanksgiving to God for things past, but as a man, he is suspicious of the fall of human weakness. Therefore he beseeched God concerning the future time, that He Himself would be his lawgiver. For the laws from Moses are not sufficient for me, he says; for to the just the
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παιδευόμενος· Νίψομαι ἐν ἀθώοις τὰς χεῖράς μου, καὶ κυκλώσω τὸ θυσιαστήριόν σου, Κύριε· ἐνταῦθα δὲ ὡς ἤδη προκύψας καὶ τυχὼν τῆς εὐχῆς τὸ ἀποτέλεσμα τῆς ἐπαγγελίας, ἐπάγει λέγων· Ἐκύκλωσα καὶ ἔθυσα ἐν τῇ σκηνῇ αὐτοῦ θυσίαν ἀλαλαγμοῦ· καὶ ἐν μὲν τοῖς ἔμπροσθεν ἐλέγετο· Τοῦ ἀκοῦσαι φωνὴν αἰνέσεως· ἐνταῦθα δέ· Ἄσω καὶ ψαλῶ τῷ Κυρίῳ. Εἰσάκουσον, Κύριε, τῆς φωνῆς μου, ἧς ἐκέκραξα· Ἐλέησόν με καὶ εἰσάκουσόν μου. Σοὶ εἶπεν ἡ καρδία μου· Ἐζήτησέ σε τὸ πρόσωπόν μου· τὸ πρόσωπόν σου, Κύριε, ζητήσω. Ἀντὶ δὲ τοῦ· Σοὶ εἶπεν ἡ καρδία μου, Ἐζήτησέ σε τὸ πρόσωπόν μου, ὁ Σύμμαχος σαφέστερον ἐξέδωκεν εἰπών· Σοὶ προσελάλει ἡ καρδία μου· σὲ ἐζήτει τὸ πρόσωπόν μου. Τὸ γὰρ τῆς ψυχῆς πρόσωπον τὴν ἁρμόττουσαν θέαν ἐπόθει. Τούτου δὲ καὶ Μωϋσῆς ποτε τυχεῖν ἠξίου λέγων τῷ Θεῷ· Ἰδοὺ εὕρηκα χάριν ἐνώπιόν σου· ἐμφάνισόν μοι σεαυτόν· γνωστῶς ἴδω σε· ὅπως ἀνακεκαλυμμένῳ προσώπῳ τὴν δόξαν Κυρίου κατοπτρίζοιτο. ∆ιό φησι· Τὸ πρόσωπόν σου, Κύριε, ζητήσω· μὴ ἀποστρέψῃς τὸ πρόσωπόν σου ἀπ' ἐμοῦ. Εἰ γὰρ εἰς ἄκρον τελειότης, καὶ ἡ κατὰ Θεὸν ὑστάτη 23.244 προκοπὴ αὕτη ἂν γένοιτο, ἡ ἐπὶ τὸ πρόσωπον ἄγουσα τοῦ Θεοῦ, ὡς παρεστάναι αὐτῷ καὶ τῶν μαρμαρυγῶν τῆς αὐτοῦ θεότητος ἀπολαύειν. Εἰδὼς δὲ, ὅτι πολλάκις ὁ Θεὸς ἀπὸ τῶν μὴ χωρούντων τὸ αὐτοῦ πρόσωπον μηδὲ ἐξιὼν αὐτοῦ ὄντων, ἀποστρέφει ἑαυτὸν, τὰ νῶτα ἑαυτοῦ δεικνὺς, ὥσπερ οὖν τῷ Μωϋσεῖ ἔλεγεν· Ὄψει τὰ ὀπίσω μου, τὸ δὲ πρόσωπόν μου οὐκ ὀφθήσεταί σοι· ἵν' οὖν μὴ τοῦτο πάθοι ὁ διὰ τῶν προκειμένων δηλούμενος, ἱκετεύει καὶ δέεται λέγων· Μὴ ἀποστρέψῃς τὸ πρόσωπόν σου ἀπ' ἐμοῦ· μὴ ἐκκλίνῃς ἐν ὀργῇ ἀπὸ τοῦ δούλου σου. Βοηθός μου γενοῦ, μὴ ἀποσκορακίσῃς με, καὶ μὴ ἐγκαταλίπῃς με, ὁ Θεὸς ὁ Σωτήρ μου. Ὅτι ὁ πατήρ μου καὶ ἡ μήτηρ μου ἐγκατέλιπέ με· ὁ δὲ Κύριος προσελάβετό μου. Μὴ, ὅτι τοιαῦτα τετόλμηκα, ἀποστράφῃς με τὸν δοῦλόν σου. Οὐ γὰρ ἐφεῖται ἀνθρώπῳ σάρκα περιβεβλημένῳ τῶν τοιούτων ἀξιοῦσθαι· διὸ ἔλεγες τῷ Μωϋσεῖ· Οὐδεὶς ὄψεται τὸ πρόσωπόν μου, καὶ ζήσεται. Ἀδυνατεῖ γὰρ ἡ θνητὴ ζωὴ πρὸς τὴν θέαν τοῦ προσώπου σου· διὸ μᾶλλον βοηθός μου γενοῦ πρὸς τὸ τυχεῖν τῶν ᾐτημένων. Μὴ ἀποσκορακίσῃς με· ἀνθ' οὗ ὁ Σύμμαχος, Μὴ ἀποῤῥίψῃς με, ἐξέδωκεν· ὁ δὲ Ἀκύλας· Μὴ ἐάσῃς με. Εἶτ' ἐπιλέγει· Καὶ μὴ ἐγκαταλείπῃς με, ὁ Θεὸς ὁ Σωτήρ μου. Σοῦ γὰρ ἀντιλαμβανομένου, καὶ δεξιὰν ὀρέγοντος, πάντων ἐλπὶς τυχεῖν τῶν ἀγαθῶν. Ἐπεὶ μηδεὶς ἕτερός μοι πάρεστι βοηθός· τῶν γὰρ ἐν ἀνθρώποις ἀναγκῶν οὐδεὶς ἂν γένοιτο πατρὸς καὶ μητρὸς μᾶλλον προσφιλής· οὗτοι δὲ αὐτοὶ καταλελοίπασί με διὰ τὸ πάντων αὐτῶν ἀνακεχωρηκέναι, καὶ σοὶ μόνῳ σχολάζειν τῷ Θεῷ. Ὅθεν καὶ χάριν ὁμολογῶ, ὅτι πάντων ἔρημος καὶ καταλειφθεὶς ὑπὸ σοῦ προσελήφθην. Νομοθέτησόν με ἐν τῇ ὁδῷ σου, καὶ ὁδήγησόν με ἐν τρίβῳ εὐθείᾳ ἕνεκα τῶν ἐχθρῶν μου. Μὴ παραδῷς με εἰς ψυχὰς θλιβόντων με, ὅτι ἐπανέστησάν μοι μάρτυρες ἄδικοι, καὶ ἐψεύσατο ἡ ἀδικία ἑαυτῇ. Πολλάκις περὶ ἑαυτοῦ ὁ θεῖος Ἀπόστολος διδάξας καὶ εἰπών· Οὐδὲν γὰρ ὑστέρηκα τῶν ὑπὲρ λίαν ἀποστόλων· τούτοις ἐπῆγε λέγων· Οὐχ ὅτι ἤδη ἔλαβον ἢ ἤδη τετελείωμαι· διώκω δὲ εἰ καὶ καταλάβω· καὶ πάλιν ἀλλαχοῦ· Ὑπωπιάζω μου τὸ σῶμα, καὶ δουλαγωγῶ· μήπως, ἄλλοις κηρύξας, αὐτὸς ἀδόκιμος γένωμαι. Ὅσον μὲν γὰρ ὡς πρὸς ἀνθρώπων σύγκρισιν, συνῄδει ἑαυτῷ προκεκοφότι, καὶ τὴν ἐν ἀνθρώποις τελειότητα ἀνειληφότι· ὅσον δὲ ἐπὶ τῷ ἀληθεῖ, ἐν πολλοῖς ἑαυτῶν ὑστερεῖν ἐγίνωσκεν, ἀτελῆ τε εἶναι ἑαυτὸν διὰ τοῦθ' ὡμολόγει. Ταύτῃ μοι δοκεῖ τῇ διανοίᾳ καὶ ὁ τὰ προκείμενα διεξελθὼν περὶ μὲν τῶν παρῳχηκότων τὴν πρέπουσαν εὐχαριστίαν ἀποδεδωκέναι τῷ Θεῷ, οἷα δὲ ἄνθρωπος τὸν ὄλισθον τῆς ἀνθρωπίνης ἀσθενείας ὑφορᾶσθαι. ∆ιὸ περὶ τοῦ μέλλοντος χρόνου παρεκάλει τὸν Θεὸν, ὅπως αὐτὸς αὐτῷ γένοιτο νομοθέτης. Οὐ γὰρ ἀπαρκεῖ μοι, φησὶ, τὰ παρὰ Μωϋσεῖ νόμιμα· δικαίοις γὰρ ὁ