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to inform, so as to spend more time with him, in order to find an opportunity so that nothing in us might be left untreated. 249.10 After this I was sitting in the open air, waiting for the one who would call me in, and I was set forth as an unseasonable spectacle to those who were visiting for the synod. And no little time passed, and on top of this came drowsiness and listlessness, and the fatigue from the journey intensifying the listlessness, and the strong heat, and those who looked at us and pointed us out to one another with their fingers—and all such things were so heavy to me, that the saying of the prophet was true for me, that 20My spirit has been faint within me20. 249.11 And when the hour had already advanced towards midday, I was brought in, regretting many things even before the meeting, as having provided myself the cause for that dishonor; and more grievous to me than the insolence coming from my enemies, my own reasoning vexed me, fighting in a way against itself and repenting with hindsight for what it had proposed. 249.12 When, then, the palace was with difficulty opened to us, and we were within the inner sanctuary, the many were shut out from the entrance, but my deacon entered with me, who with his hand supported my body, which was worn out from the fatigue. And I, having greeted him and having stood for a short while, so that an invitation to a seat might be made to me, since none of these things happened, turning aside I rested upon one of the benches that were far off, waiting to see if he might say something favorable to us, or at least give us a kind nod with his eyebrows. But everything was contrary to my hope; for what followed was a nocturnal silence, and a tragic gloom, and amazement and astonishment, and complete speechlessness, and time not of short duration, drawn out in stillness as in a black night. 249.13 And I, my mind being frozen by these things, because he was unwilling to impart even a common utterance, discharging the obligation of this meeting with these well-worn phrases, such as "Welcome?" or "From where have you come?" or "For what reason? of your own accord, or what is the purpose of your presence?", I took that stillness for an image of the existence in Hades. 249.14 Or rather, I condemn the comparison; for in Hades there is much equality, with none of those from above the earth who work out the tragedy concerning life also troubling that existence; for 20not20 20does go down with20, as the prophet says, 20glory with men20, but the soul of each one, having left behind the things now pursued by the many—I mean insolence and arrogance and pride—dwells below, plain and unadorned, so that none of the wicked things from here are also there. 249.15 Nevertheless, to me the present circumstances seemed to be Hades or a lightless prison or some other gloomy place of punishment, as I considered of how many good things we have become successors from our fathers, and what sort of tales we shall leave behind for those after us. 249.16 But what am I to say of the loving relationship of the fathers toward one another? For it is no wonder that men, being of an equally honored nature, should wish to have nothing more than one another, but in humility to consider one another superior to themselves; but this most of all took hold of my mind, that 20the Lord of all creation, the only-begotten Son who is in the bosom of the Father, who was in the beginning, who, being in the form of God, upholds all things by the word of his power20, humbled himself not only in this, in visiting human nature through the flesh, but also receives Judas his betrayer approaching his own mouth with a kiss, and having entered the house of Simon the leper, he reproaches as inhuman the fact that he was not kissed by him; but I was not even accounted as a leper. 249.17 The who to the whom? I am unable to find the difference. To the one having come down from whence, the one lying where? if indeed one looks at the things of this world. For if one were to examine the things of the flesh, it is perhaps so far inoffensive to say, that in both cases the nobility and freedom are of equal honor; 249.18 but if one were to seek the true of the

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μηνῦσαι, ὥστε ἐπὶ πλεῖον αὐτῷ συνδιαγαγεῖν, ἐφ' ᾧ τε καιρὸν εὑρεῖν πρὸς τὸ μηδὲν περιοφθῆναι τῶν ἐν ἡμῖν ἀθεράπευτον. 249.10 Μετὰ τοῦτο ἐγὼ μὲν ἐκαθήμην κατὰ τὸ ὕπαιθρον ἀναμένων τὸν εἰσκα λοῦντα καὶ προεκείμην ἄκαιρον θέαμα τοῖς ἐπιδημοῦσι κατὰ τὴν σύνοδον. Καὶ χρόνος διεγένετο οὐκ ὀλίγος, καὶ νυσταγμὸς ἐπὶ τούτοις καὶ ἀκηδία καὶ ὁ ἐκ τῆς ὀδοῦ κόπος ἐπιτείνων τὴν ἀκηδίαν καὶ τὸ θάλπος ἰσχυρὸν καὶ οἱ πρὸς ἡμᾶς ἀποβλέποντες καὶ ἀλλήλοις διὰ τῶν δακτύλων ὑποδεικνύοντες-καὶ ἅπαντα τὰ τοιαῦτα οὕτω μοι βαρέα ἦν, ὡς ἀληθεύειν ἐπ' ἐμοῦ τὸ τοῦ προφήτου ὅτι 20Ἠκηδίασεν ἐπ' ἐμὲ τὸ πνεῦμά μου20. 249.11 Καὶ πρὸς μεσημβρίαν ἤδη προελθούσης τῆς ὥρας εἰσηνέχθην, πολλὰ μεταμεληθεὶς καὶ πρὸ τῆς συντυχίας ὡς ἐμαυτῷ τῆς ἀτιμίας ἐκείνης παρασχὼν τὴν αἰτίαν· καὶ χαλεπώ τερον τῆς παρὰ τῶν ἐχθρῶν μοι γινομένης ὕβρεως ὁ ἐμός με λογισμὸς ἠνία, μαχόμενος τρόπον τινὰ πρὸς ἑαυτὸν καὶ μεταγινώσκων ἐν ὑστεροβουλίᾳ ὑπὲρ ὧν προέθετο. 249.12 Ὡς δ' οὖν μόλις ἠνοίγη ἡμῖν τὰ ἀνάκτορα καὶ τῶν ἀδύτων ἐντὸς ἐγενόμεθα, οἱ μὲν πολλοὶ ἀπεκλείσθησαν τῆς εἰσόδου, ὁ δὲ ἐμὸς συνεισῆλθε διάκονος, ὃς τῇ χειρὶ τὸ σῶμα ὑπήρειδεν πεπονηκὸς ἐκ τοῦ κόπου. Ἐγὼ δὲ προσειπὼν αὐτὸν καὶ ἐπ' ὀλίγον σταθεὶς ὥστε μοι γενέσθαι προτροπὴν εἰς καθέδραν, ὡς οὐδὲν τούτων ἐγίνετο, ἐπί τινος τῶν πόρρωθεν βάθρων διατραπεὶς ἀνεπαυσάμην, ἀναμένων εἰ ἄρα τι φθέγξαιτο πρὸς ἡμᾶς εὐμενὲς ἤ τι φιλάνθρωπον ταῖς γοῦν ὀφρύσιν ἡμῖν ἐπινεύσειεν. Ἀλλ' ἀπ' ἐναντίας τῇ ἐλπίδι τὰ πάντα· σιωπὴ γὰρ ἦν τὸ ἀπὸ τούτου νυκτερινὴ καὶ κατήφεια τραγικὴ καὶ θάμβος καὶ ἔκπληξις καὶ παντελὴς ἀφωνία καὶ χρόνος οὐκ ἐν μικρῷ διαστήματι καθάπερ ἐν μελαίνῃ νυκτὶ δι' ἡσυχίας παρα τεινόμενος. 249.13 Ἐγὼ δὲ τούτοις ἐναποπαγεὶς τὴν διά νοιαν διὰ τὸ μηδὲ τῆς κοινῆς αὐτὸν θελῆσαι μεταδοῦναι φωνῆς διὰ τῶν κατημαξευμένων τούτων τὴν συντυχίαν ἀφοσιούμενον, οἷον τοῦ «Εὖ ἥκεις;» ἢ τοῦ «Πόθεν ἥκεις;» ἢ «Ὑπὲρ τίνος; αὐτόματος, ἢ τίς ἡ τῆς παρου σίας σπουδή;» τὴν ἡσυχίαν ἐκείνην τῆς ἐν ᾅδου διαγωγῆς ἐποιούμην εἰκόνα. 249.14 Μᾶλλον δὲ καταγινώσκω τοῦ ὑποδείγματος· ἐν ᾅδου γὰρ ἰσονομία πολλή, μηδενὸς τῶν ὑπὲρ γῆς τὴν περὶ τὸν βίον τραγῳδίαν ἐργαζομένων κἀκείνην τὴν διαγωγὴν διοχλοῦντος· 20οὐ20 γὰρ 20συγκα ταβαίνει20, καθά φησιν ὁ προφήτης, 20τοῖς ἀνθρώποις ἡ δόξα20, ἀλλὰ καταλιποῦσα ἡ ἑκάστου ψυχὴ τὰ νῦν σπουδαζόμενα τοῖς πολλοῖς, ὕβριν λέγω καὶ ὑπερηφανίαν καὶ τῦφον, λιτή τις καὶ ἀκατάσκευος ἐπιχωριάζει τοῖς κάτω, ὡς μηδὲν τῶν τῇδε μοχθηρῶν καὶ παρ' ἐκείνοις εἶναι. 249.15 Πλὴν ἀλλ' ἐμοὶ ᾅδης ἢ δεσμωτήριον ἀφεγγὲς ἢ ἄλλο τι σκυθρωπὸν κολαστήριον ἐδόκει τὰ παρόντα εἶναι, λογιζομένῳ ὅσων ἀγαθῶν ἐγενόμεθα παρὰ τῶν πατέρων ἡμῶν διάδοχοι καὶ οἷα διηγήματα τοῖς μεθ' ἡμᾶς καταλείψομεν. 249.16 Τί δὲ λέγω τῶν πατέρων τὴν πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἀγαπητικὴν σχέσιν; Θαυμαστὸν γὰρ οὐδὲν ἀνθρώπους ὄντας ἐν ὁμοτίμῳ τῇ φύσει μηδὲν ἐθέλειν πλέον ἀλλήλων ἔχειν, ἀλλὰ τῇ ταπεινοφροσύνῃ ἀλλήλους ἡγεῖσθαι ἑαυτῶν ὑπερέχειν· ἀλλ' ἐκεῖνο μάλιστά μου τῆς διανοίας καθήπτετο, ὅτι 20ὁ πάσης κτίσεως δεσπότης, ὁ μονογενὴς υἱὸς ὁ ὢν ἐν τοῖς κόλποις τοῦ πατ ρός, ὁ ἐν ἀρχῇ ὤν, ὁ ἐν μορφῇ Θεοῦ ὑπάρχων, ὁ τὰ σύμπαντα φέρων τῷ ῥήματι τῆς δυνάμεως αὐτοῦ20, οὐκ ἐν τούτῳ μόνον ἐταπείνωσεν ἑαυτόν, ἐν τῷ διὰ σαρκὸς ἐπιδημῆσαι τῇ ἀνθρωπίνῃ φύσει, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὸν προδότην ἑαυτοῦ Ἰούδαν τῷ ἰδίῳ στόματι διὰ φιλήματος προσεγ γίζοντα δέχεται καὶ εἰσελθὼν εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν Σίμωνος τοῦ λεπροῦ τὸ μὴ φιληθῆναι παρ' αὐτοῦ ὡς ἀφιλάνθρωπον ὀνειδίζει· ἐγὼ δὲ οὐδὲ ἀντὶ λεπροῦ ἐλογίσθην. 249.17 Τῷ τίνι ὁ τίς; τὴν διαφορὰν εὑρεῖν οὐκ ἔχω· τῷ πόθεν κατα βεβηκότι ὁ ποῦ κείμενος; εἴ γε τὰ τοῦ κόσμου βλέπει τις τούτου. Εἰ μὲν γὰρ τὰ τῆς σαρκὸς ἐξετάζοι τις, τοσοῦτον ἴσως ἀνεπαχθές ἐστι λέγειν, ὅτι ὁμότιμον ἐπ' ἀμφοτέρων τὸ εὐγενὲς καὶ ἐλεύθερον· 249.18 εἰ δὲ τὴν ἀληθῆ τις ἐπιζητοίη τῆς