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and it makes me feel this in my heart. I am agitated, I am constricted, wanting to hold it, and all is night and my wretched hands are empty. I forget all things and I sit and weep, not hoping to see it again in this way. But when I have lamented much and wish to cease, then coming mystically it holds the crown of my head and I am dissolved in tears, not knowing who it is, and it illumines my mind with a very sweet light. But when I know who it is, it flies away swiftly, leaving me the fire of its divine longing, which does not permit me to laugh or to look at people, (127) nor to receive a desire for any of the things that are seen. Little by little it is kindled, by patience it is fanned, and it becomes a great flame, grasping the heavens; relaxation extinguishes it, the distraction of family and worldly cares, for it is in the beginning. It is recalled by silence and the hatred of all glory, by rolling on the ground and being trodden on like dung; for in these things it delights and wishes to be present, teaching the humility that is capable of all things. Therefore, when I acquire this and become humble, then it is with me, inseparable; it speaks to me, it enlightens me, it sees me, whom I also see. It is in my heart, it exists in heaven, it interprets the Scriptures for me and adds knowledge to me, it teaches me mysteries, which I am not able to speak, it shows me how it snatched me from the world and orders me to have mercy on all those in the world. So walls constrain me and by my body I am held, and yet I am truly outside of these things, do not disbelieve! I do not perceive noises, and I do not hear voices, nor do I fear death, for I have passed beyond even this. I do not know what affliction is, even if all grieve me; pleasures are bitterness to me, all passions flee, and I see light always, by night and by day. Day appears to me as night, and night is day, and I do not wish to sleep, for this is a loss to me. But when all evil things surround me and seem to drag me down and overcome me, then suddenly I am found with it outside of all things, of the joys and sorrows and pleasures of the world;

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καί ταύτην ἐν καρδίᾳ μου ποιεῖ αἰσθάνεσθαί με. Θροοῦμαι, περισφίγγομαι κρατῆσαι ταύτην θέλων καί νύξ τά πάντα καί κεναί αἱ ἀθλίαι μου χεῖρες. Πάντων ἐπιλανθάνομαι καί κάθημαι καί κλαίω μή ἐπελπίζων ἄλλοτε ταύτην οὕτως ἰδέσθαι. Ὅτε θρηνήσω δέ πολλά καί παύσασθαι θελήσω τότε ἐλθοῦσα μυστικῶς κρατεῖ τῆς κορυφῆς μου καί συγχέομαι δάκρυσιν ἀγνοῶν τίς ὑπάρχει καί καταυγάζει μου τόν νοῦν φωτί γλυκείῳ σφόδρα. Ὅταν δέ γνῶ ἥτις ἐστίν, ἀφίπταται συντόμως καταλιποῦσά μοι τό πῦρ τοῦ θείου αὐτῆς πόθου, ὅ γελᾶν οὐκ ἀφίησιν ἤ πρός ἀνθρώπους βλέπειν, (127) οὐδέ πόθον εἰσδέξασθαι τινός τῶν ὁρωμένων. Κατά μικρόν ἀνάπτεται, ὑπομονῇ φυσᾶται καί φλόξ μεγάλη γίνεται οὐρανούς δρασσομένη˙ ταύτην σβέννυσιν ἄνεσις, περισπασμός οἰκείων καί μέριμνα βιωτικῶν, ἐν ἀρχῇ γάρ τυγχάνει. Ἀνακαλεῖται σιωπήν καί μῖσος πάσης δόξης τό κυλινδεῖσθαι ἐπί γῆς καί πατεῖσθαι ὡς κόπρον˙ ἐπί τούτοις γάρ τέρπεται καί συμπαρεῖναι θέλει, ταπείνωσιν διδάσκουσα τήν πάντα δυναμένην. Ὅταν οὖν ταύτην κτήσωμαι ταπεινός γένωμαι, τότε ὑπάρχει σύν ἐμοί ἀχώριστος κἀκείνη˙ ὁμιλεῖ μοι, φωτίζει με, βλέπει με, ἥν καί βλέπω. Ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ μοῦ ἐστιν, ἐν οὐρανῷ ὑπάρχει, ἑρμηνεύει μοι τάς γραφάς καί προστιθεῖ μ οι γνῶσιν, μυστήρια διδάσκει με, ἅ λαλεῖν οὐκ ἰσχύω, ἐκ τοῦ κόσμου δεικνύει μοι πῶς αὕτη ἥρπασέ με καί ἐλεεῖν προστάσσει μοι πάντας τούς ἐν τῷ κόσμῳ. Τοῖχοι οὖν με συνέχουσι καί σώματι κρατοῦμαι καί ἔξω τούτων ἀληθῶς εἰμί, μή ἀπιστήσῃς! Κτύπων οὐκ ἐπαισθάνομαι, φωνάς δέ οὐκ ἀκούω, οὐδέ φοβοῦμαι θάνατον, παρῆλθον γάρ καί τοῦτον. Θλῖψιν οὐκ οἶδα, τί ἐστι, κἄν πάντες με λυπῶσιν˙ αἱ ἡδοναί πικρία μοι, φεύγουσι πάντα πάθη, καί φῶς ὁρῶ διά παντός ἐν νυκτί καί ἡμέρᾳ. Ἡμέρα νύξ μοι φαίνεται καί νύξ ἡμέρα ἔστιν, καί ὑπνῶσαι οὐ βούλομαι, ζημία γάρ μοι τοῦτο. Ὅταν δέ πάντα τά κακά περικυκλώσωσί με καί τῷ δοκεῖν καθέλξωσι καί κατισχύσωσί μου, ἔξω πάντων εὑρίσκομαι σύν αὐτῇ αἴφνης τότε, χαροπιῶν καί λυπηρῶν καί ἡδονῶν τοῦ κόσμου˙