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being a fire unbearable to mortal nature? And what shall I do worthy of your glory and what shall I find for such great love? What shall I offer to you, who have glorified me, the unworthy one, with such glory and honor? For he whom men deign not to look upon, but are unwilling even to speak to or dine at all with me, the all-wretched one, you who nourish all breath and nature, (140) who are unapproachable to the Seraphim, the creator, maker, and master of all, not only see and speak to me and nourish me, but have also deemed me worthy to hold and eat your own flesh in its essence, and to drink your all-holy blood, which was poured out for me when you were slain. You have appointed me a deacon and minister and initiate of these things, the very one you know, you who know all things, before you made the ages and before you brought forth any of the unseen things — for the visible things you established later —, the sinner, the profligate, the tax collector, the robber, the one who has become my own murderer, a liar concerning good things, a worker of lawlessness, and a transgressor of all your commandments. You then know these things to be true; how shall I appear before you, O my Christ, and how shall I approach your table? How shall I take hold of your immaculate body, I who have hands completely defiled? How shall I hymn you, how shall I intercede for others, not having from faith and good works love and boldness toward you, but being myself a debtor, as you know, of many talents, of many lawless deeds? The mind is at a loss, the tongue has grown weak, and no word is found by me, O Savior, to declare the works of your goodness, which you have done for me, your servant. (141) But my inward parts burn as from a fire and I cannot bear to be silent
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πῦρ ὑπάρχων ἄστεκτον φύσει βροτείᾳ; Τί δέ ποιήσω ἄξιόν σου τῆς δόξης καί τί εὑρήσω πρός τοσαύτην ἀγάπην; Τί σοι προσάξω, τῷ τοιαύτῃ με δόξῃ καί τιμῇ δοξάσαντι, τόν ἀνάξιον; Ὅν γάρ ἄνθρωποι βλέπειν ἀπαξιοῦσιν, ἀλλ᾿ οὐδέ λαλεῖν οὐδέ συνεστιᾶσθαι ὅλως ἐμοί βούλονται τῷ παναθλίῳ, σύ ὁ πνοήν ἅπασαν τρέφων καί φύσιν, (140) ὁ τοῖς Σεραφείμ ἀπρόσιτος ὑπάρχων, ὁ πάντων κτίστης, ποιητής καί δεσπότης οὐ μόνον ὁρᾷς καί λαλεῖς μοι καί τρέφεις, ἀλλά καί τήν σήν οὐσιωδῶς μοι σάρκα κατηξίωσας καί κρατεῖν καί ἐσθίειν καί τό αἷμά σου τό πανάγιον πίνειν, ὅ ἐξεχύθη δι᾿ ἐμέ σοῦ σφαγέντος. ∆ιάκονόν τε καί λειτουργόν καί μύστην τούτων με κατέστησας, ὅνπερ γινώσκεις, ὁ πάντα εἰδώς, πρίν ποιήσεις αἰῶνας καί πρίν παράξεις τι τῶν μή βλεπομένων - τά γάρ ὁρατά ὕστερον συνεστήσω , τόν ἁμαρτωλόν, ἄσωτον, τόν τελώνην, λῃστήν, φονέα ἐμαυτοῦ γεγονότα, ψεύστην τῶν καλῶν, ἐργάτην ἀνομίας καί πασῶν τῶν σῶν ἐντολῶν παραβάτην. Σύ οὖν ἀληθῆ ταῦτα εἶναι γινώσκεις˙ πῶς ἐνώπιον ὀφθῶ σου, ὦ Χριστέ μου, πῶς δέ τῇ σῇ πλησιάσω τραπέζῃ; Πῶς τοῦ ἀχράντου σώματός σου κρατήσω, ὁ χεῖρας ἔχων πάντῃ ἐσπιλωμένας; Πῶς ὑμνήσω σε, πῶς ἄλλοις μεσιτεύσω μή ἔχων ἐκ πίστεως καί καλῶν ἔργων τήν πρός σέ ἀγάπησιν καί παρρησίαν, ἀλλ᾿ ὑπόχρεως αὐτός ὤν, ὥσπερ οἶδας, πολλῶν ταλάντων, πολλῶν ἀνομημάτων; Ὁ νοῦς ἀπορεῖ, ἠσθένησεν ἡ γλῶσσα καί λόγος οὐδείς εὑρίσκεταί μοι, Σῶτερ, τά σά ἐξειπεῖν ἀγαθότητος ἔργα, ἅ ἐποίησας εἰς ἐμέ τόν σόν δοῦλον. (141) Φλέγονται δέ μου ὡς ἐκ πυρός τά ἔνδον καί οὐ δύναμαι σιωπῶν ὑποφέρειν