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and just as she concealed herself in shame, held invisibly in every way by your divine hand. And all the other things of life I loved, all that delight the sight and soothe the throat and adorn the body, this perishable thing. But the abominable deeds and licentious desires you indeed wiped away from my heart, my God, and you created in my soul a hatred for these things; even if in my intention I was attached to them, and you made me have rather an unfulfilled desire and deeds without desire - a very great wonder in every way, and you separated me from all the kings, and rulers, and rich of the world by divine providence. Though many often and I myself willed these things, you yourself did not allow anyone's plan to stand in these matters, others who said to glorify me and to be rich in life I hated with a hatred, Master, a hatred from the heart, so that not even an encounter ever moved me towards these things, who, becoming enraged, rather struck me violently with staffs; and others reviled me before all with insults (143) saying that I was a worker of all lawlessness, wishing to turn me from the straight path; for I was fleeing the deeds, so that I might not be reviled, but they reviled me, so that I might come to the deeds, if perhaps I also needed the praise of men, who added that they would always revile me, until I should come to their way of thinking. But to those who say to give the glory of the world, you have granted me to answer thus, my Savior: If you held all the glory, I said, of the world, and a crown of kingship was on your head, and a scarlet shoe was bound on your feet, and you suddenly made me lord of all these things, while you yourself stood as a rustic, wishing to be my slave, I would not at all have communed with or joined in life with your wickednesses and your ways of thinking. What scroll could contain your benefactions and your many good things, which you have wrought for me? For if ten thousand tongues and hands are given to me, I would not have the strength to declare or to write about all things; for they are in every way an abyss in their infinite multitude, they are incomprehensible in the greatness of their glory,
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καί ὥσπερ κατεκρύπτετο ἑαυτήν αἰδουμένη, συνεχομένη ἀφανῶς πάντως χειρί σου θείᾳ. Καί τά μέν ἄλλα ἅπαντα ἠγάπων τά τοῦ βίου, ὅσα τε ὄψιν τέρπουσι καί λεαίνουσι λάρυγγα καί σῶμα καλλωπίζουσι, τό φθειρόμενον τοῦτο. Τάς πράξεις δέ τάς μυσαράς καί ἀσελγεῖς ὀρέξεις σύ δή ἐκ τῆς καρδίας μου ἀπήλειψας, Θεέ μου, καί μῖσος ἐνεποίησας πρός ταῦτα τῇ ψυχῇ μου˙ εἰ καί τῇ προαιρέσει μου προσεκείμην ἐν τούτοις, καί ὄρεξίν τε ἄπρακτον καί πράξεις ἀνορέκτους ἐποίεις μᾶλλον ἔχειν με - θαῦμα μέγιστον πάντῃ καί πάντων ἀπεχώρισας οἰκονομίᾳ θείᾳ βασιλέων, ἀρχόντων τε καί πλουσίων τοῦ κόσμου. Πολλῶν πολλάκις καί ἐμοῦ θελήσαντος εἰς ταῦτα αὐτός βουλήν οὐκ εἴασας τινός ἐν τούτοις στῆναι, ἄλλους δοξάζειν λέγοντας καί πλουτεῖν με ἐν βίῳ μῖσος ἐμίσουν, ∆έσποτα, μῖσος ἀπό καρδίας, ὡς μήτε συντυχίαν με κινεῖν ποτε πρός τούτοις, οἵ καί μανέντες βάκλοις με σφοδρῶς ἔτυψαν μᾶλλον˙ ἄλλοι δέ λοιδορίαις με πρός πάντας ἐλοιδόρουν (143) ἐργάτην εἶναι λέγοντες πάσης παρανομίας, θέλοντες διαστρέψαι με ἀπό ὁδοῦ εὐθείας˙ τάς πράξεις γάρ ἐξέφευγον, ἵνα μή λοιδορῶμαι, αὐτοί δέ ἐλοιδόρουν με, ὅπως εἰς πράξεις ἔλθω, εἰ ἄρα καί τόν ἔπαινον τόν τῶν ἀνθρώπων χρῄζω, οἵ προσετίθουν λέγοντες πάντοτε λοιδορεῖν με, ἕως ἄν εἰς τό φρόνημα τό ἐκείνων συνέλθω. Τοῖς δέ τήν δόξαν λέγουσι διδόναι τήν τοῦ κόσμου οὕτως ἀνταποκρίνεσθαι δέδωκάς με, Σωτήρ μου˙ Εἰ πᾶσαν δόξαν, ἔλεγον, τήν τοῦ κόσμου ἐκράτεις καί στέφος σου τῇ κορυφῇ βασιλείας ὑπῆρχε, τοῖς δέ ποσί σου κόκκινον ἦν ὑποδεδεμένον καί τούτων πάντων αἴφνης με κύριον ἀπειργάσω, αὐτός δέ ἔστης παγανός, δοῦλός μου θέλων εἶναι, οὐκ ἄν ταῖς πονηρίαις σου καί τοῖς φρονήμασί σου ὅλως συνεκοινώνησα ἤ συνῆλθον ἐν βίῳ. Ποῖος χάρτης χωρήσειε τάς σάς εὐεργεσίας καί τά καλά σου τά πολλά, ἅ εἰς ἐμέ εἰργάσω; Εἰ γάρ μυρίαι γλῶσσαί μοι δοθήσονται καί χεῖρες, οὐκ ἄν ἰσχύσω ἐξειπεῖν ἤ περί πάντων γράψαι˙ εἰσί γάρ πάντως ἄβυσσος ἐν ἀπείρῳ τῷ πλήθει, εἰσίν ἀκατανόητα τῷ τῆς δόξης μεγέθει,