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by vigil, nor by bodily labor, nor by any other of the right actions does God rejoice and reveal Himself, except to a humble and uniquely simple and good soul and heart". Therefore, having heard these things, I, and marveling at the word and counsel of the holy man, being greatly inflamed and bringing all my sins to memory in a flash with the sharpness of my mind, I was flooded with tears and, falling at his holy feet and holding them, "Pray for me," I said, "holy one of God, that through you I may find mercy, since of the good things you have spoken, not one belongs to me, except many sins, which you yourself also know". Therefore, the holy man, sympathizing with me greatly and weeping, then bidding me to rise from the ground, says: "I have confidence in God, who has richly bestowed His grace upon me, that He will grant it to you twofold, for the sake of the faith alone which you have both toward Him and toward my lowliness". Thus, having received this word as from God Himself, and having understood what happened from Elijah to Elisha, and believing that, though I am unworthy, yet God is the lover of mankind, swiftly doing the will of those who fear Him, making a prostration again and asking for a prayer, I went away to my cell, having received a command from him to say only the Trisagion and go to sleep.
(234) So, having entered where I was accustomed to pray and beginning the "Holy God," and remembering the words of the holy man, I was immediately so moved to tears and to divine longing that I am unable to express in words the joy and pleasure that came to me then. But indeed, immediately falling prostrate on the ground I saw, and behold, a great light shone intellectually upon me and took my whole mind along with my soul to itself, so that I was amazed at the suddenness of the wonder and was as if in ecstasy. Not only that, but I also forgot the place where I was standing, and who I was, and where, only crying out "Lord, have mercy," as, upon coming to my senses, I recognized I was saying this; but who it was that was speaking, father, or moving my tongue, I do not know—he says—God knows. For whether in the body or out of the body I conversed with this light, that light itself knows, which also drove away whatever was dark in my soul and every earthly thought, which expelled from me all the dense matter and weight of body that produced despondency and torpor in my limbs. For thus it strengthened—O awesome wonder!—and invigorated the exhaustion of my joints and nerves, which had come upon me then from much labor, so that it seemed and appeared to me that I had put off the garment of corruption. Not only this, but it also immediately poured unspeakably into my soul great joy and an intellectual perception and sweetness beyond any taste of visible things, and furthermore, freedom and forgetfulness of all the thoughts of this life, and it paradoxically granted and made known to me the very manner of departure from this present life. For all the senses of both my mind and my soul clung only to the (235) ineffable joy of that light.
But when that boundless light which had appeared to me—he says—for I have no other proper and suitable name to call it, had somehow gently subsided and as it were withdrawn, I came to my senses and, knowing what its power had suddenly wrought in me, and understanding its separation and considering how it had again left me alone in this life, I was possessed by such grief and heavy pain that I am at a loss to express worthily the magnitude of the varied and most vehement pain kindled like a fire in my heart. Therefore, now describe—he said—if you are able, father, both the pain of the separation and the immeasurable nature of the love and the
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ἀγρυπνίᾳ, οὔτε κόπῳ σωματικῷ, οὔτε τινί ἑτέρῳ τῶν δεξιῶν πράξεων χαίρει ὁ Θεός καί ἐμφανίζεται, εἰ μή ταπεινῇ τε καί μόνῃ ἀπεριέργῳ καί ἀγαθῇ ψυχῇ καί καρδίᾳ ". Ταῦτα τοιγαροῦν ἀκούσας ἐγώ καί θαυμάσας ἐπί τῷ λόγῳ καί τῇ παραινέσει τοῦ ἁγίου, ἐπί πλεῖστόν τε ἐκκαιόμενος καί τάς ἁμαρτίας μου τῇ τοῦ νοός ὀξύτητι πάσας ἐν ῥιπῇ ἐπί μνήμης μου φέρων, περιελιμναζόμην τοῖς δάκρυσι καί πεσών εἰς τούς πόδας αὐτοῦ τούς ἁγίους καί τούτους κρατήσας· "Εὔχου ὑπέρ ἐμοῦ, ἔφην, ἅγιε τοῦ Θεοῦ, ἵνα διά σοῦ εὕρω ἔλεος, ἐπεί ἐξ ὧν εἶπας ἀγαθῶν, ἐμοί οὐδέ ἕν πρόσεστιν, εἰ μή πολλαί ἁμαρτίαι, ἅς ἐπίστασαι καί αὐτός". Συμπαθήσας οὖν με ἐπί πλεῖον ὁ ἅγιος καί δακρύσας, εἶτα κελεύσας με ἀναστῆναι ἀπό τοῦ ἐδάφους, φησί· "Θαρρῶ τῷ Θεῷ, τῷ τήν χάριν αὐτοῦ πλουσίως μοι δωρησαμένῳ, ὅτι ταύτην καί σοί δισσῶς δωρήσεται ὑπέρ τῆς πίστεως μόνης ἧς ἔχεις καί πρός αὐτόν καί πρός τήν ἐμήν ταπείνωσιν". Τοῦτον τοίνυν τόν λόγον ὡς ἐξ αὐτοῦ δεξάμενος τοῦ Θεοῦ καί τό παρά Ἠλιοῦ πρός Ἐλισαιέ γενόμενον ἐννοήσας καί πιστεύσας ὅτι, εἰ καί ἀνάξιος ἐγώ, ἀλλ᾿ ὁ Θεός φιλάνθρωπος, συντόμως ποιῶν τό θέλημα τῶν φοβουμένων αὐτόν, βαλών καί αὖθις μετάνοιαν καί αἰτήσας εὐχήν, ἀπῆλθον πρός τό κελλίον μου, ἐντολήν λαβών ἐξ αὐτοῦ τοῦ ποιῆσαι μόνον Τρισάγιον καί ὑπνῶσαι.
(234) Εἰσελθών οὖν ἔνθα εἰώθην προσεύχεσθαι καί τό "Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός" ἐναρξάμενος, μνησθείς τε τῶν λόγων τοῦ ἁγίου, εὐθέως εἰς δάκρυα καί εἰς πόθον θεῖον ἐπί τοσοῦτον ἐκινήθην, ὥστε μή δύνασθαί με διά λόγου παραστῆσαι τήν γενομένην μοι τηνικαῦτα χαράν τε καί ἡδονήν. Ἀλλά γάρ εὐθύς πρηνής πεσών ἐπί γῆς εἶδον, καί ἰδού φῶς πολύ νοερῶς ἐπιλάμψαν μοι καί προσλαβόμενόν μου τόν νοῦν ὅλον ἅμα πρός ἑαυτό καί τήν ψυχήν, ὥστε τῷ ἀθρόῳ τοῦ θαύματος ἐκπλαγῆναί με καί ὡς ἐν ἐκστάσει γενέσθαι. Οὐ μήν ἀλλά γάρ καί ἐπελαθόμην τοῦ τε τόπου, ἐν ᾧ ἱστάμην, καί ὅστις ὑπῆρχον καί ποῦ, μόνον κράζων τό "Κύριε ἐλέησον", καθώς καί ἐν συναισθήσει γενόμενος τοῦτο λέγων ἐπέγνων· τίς δέ ἦν ὁ λαλῶν, πάτερ, ἤ κονῶν μου τήν γλῶτταν, οὐκ οἶδα - φησίνὁ Θεός οἶδεν. Εἴτε γάρ ἐν σώματι, εἴτε ἐκτός σώματος τῷ φωτί τούτῳ προσωμίλησα, οἶδεν αὐτό τό φῶς, τό καί ἀποδιῶξαν ὅσον ἀχλυῶδες ὑπῆρχεν ἐν τῇ ψυχῇ μου καί ἅπαν γήϊνον φρόνημα, τό ἀπελάσαν ἀπ᾿ ἐμοῦ ὕλην ὅση παχεῖα καί βάρος σώματος τό ἀκηδίαν καί νάρκωσιν ἐμποιῆσαν τοῖς ἐμοῖς μέλεσιν. Οὕτω γάρ ἐτόνωσεν, ὤ θαύματος φρικτοῦ, καί ἐνίσχυσε τήν ἔκλυσιν τῶν ἄρθρων καί νεύρων, τήν ἐκ τοῦ πολλοῦ κόπου μοι τηνικαῦτα προσγενομένην, ὡς δόξαι καί φανῆναί μοι φθορᾶς ἱμάτιον ἀποδύσασθαι. Οὐ μόνον δέ, ἀλλά καί χαράν εὐθέως πολλήν νοεράν τε αἴσθησιν καί γλυκύτητα ὑπέρ πᾶσαν γεῦσιν τῶν ὁρωμένων ἐν τῇ ψυχῇ μου ἀφράστως ἐνέσταξεν, ἔτι δέ, ἐλευθερίαν καί λήθην πάντων λογισμῶν τῶν ἐν τῷ βίῳ, καί αὐτόν τόν τῆς ἐκδημίας τρόπον τῆς παρούσης ζωῆς παραδόξως ἐχαρίσατό μοι καί ἐγνώρισε. Πρός γάρ μόνην τήν ἐκείνου τοῦ φωτός (235) ἄρρητον εὐφροσύνην πᾶσαι καί τοῦ νοός καί τῆς ψυχῆς αἱ αἰσθήσεις μου ἐκολλήθησαν.
Ἀλλά γάρ τοῦ φανέντος μοι - φησίνἐκείνου ἀπλέτου φωτόςοὐδέ γάρ ἔχω τι ἕτερον τοῦτο καλέσαι οἰκεῖον καί κατάλληλον ὄνομα , ἠρέμα πως ὑπολωφήσαντος καί οἱονεί συσταλέντος, ἐν συναισθήσει ἐγενόμην καί γνούς οἷα ἡ τούτου δύναμις ἀθρόον εἰργάσατο ἐν ἐμοί καί ἐννοήσας τόν αὐτοῦ χωρισμόν καί ὡς πάλιν ἐν τῷ βίῳ μόνον με κατέλιπεν ἀναλογισάμενος, λύπῃ κάτοχος γέγονα καί ὀδύνῃ βαρείᾳ τοσαύτῃ, ὡς ἐκφράσαι ἀξίως ἀπορῶ τό μέγεθος τῆς δίκην πυρός ἀναφθείσης ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ μου ποικίλης καί σφοδροτάτης ὀδύνης. Λοιπόν οὖν παράστησον ἔλεγεν - εἰ δύνασαι σύ, πάτερ, τόν τε πόνον τοῦ χωρισμοῦ καί τῆς ἀγάπης τό ἄμετρον καί τό