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(299) For I later met a man who had become a monk, who was in his third or even fourth year in the monastic way of life and was in the thirty-second year of his physical age. For I knew him well, as he was a friend and we had grown up together, wherefore he also added and related these things to me: "After that wonderful alteration and the superhuman perception that came to me, not many days, he said, had passed, and continuous temptations of life fell upon me, by which I saw myself being hindered from secret works and little by little falling short of the good, and I longed to be outside the whole world and to seek in solitude the One who had appeared to me—for I am convinced, brother, that He was pleased to appear to me for this reason, so that He might draw me, unworthy as I am, to Himself and separate me from the whole world. But since I was not able to do this quickly, little by little forgetting all the things that have been said, I descended into complete darkness, so that I did not remember anything, small or great, not even a mere thought, of what I have said before. Indeed, I fell into more evils than those that had formerly happened to me and was in such a state as if I had never thought of or heard the holy words of Christ. But even that holy man, who had shown me mercy then and had given me the small commandment and sent the aforementioned book, I saw as one of the ordinary people and did not have even a mere thought about the things that had been seen by me through him. These things, he said, I tell you, so that you may learn accurately into what a pit of destruction I, the wretched one, was brought down out of negligence, and that you may marvel at and be astonished by God's unspeakable goodness which came to me even after these things.
(300) For, I know not how to say it, in some unknown way love and faith for the holy elder thus remained in my miserable heart, on account of which, I think, after the passage of so many years, the philanthropic God, having had mercy on me through his prayers, again snatched me through him from great delusion and the abyss of evils and delivered me. For I, the unworthy one, did not completely withdraw from him, but I would confess what happened and would go to his cell quite often when I was in the city, even though, being without conscience, I did not keep his commandments. But now, as you see, the compassionate Lord, overlooking the great multitude of my sins, has arranged for me to become a monk through that holy elder and has deemed me, who am truly unworthy, worthy to be with him continually. Therefore, with much labor and more tears and strict exile and perfect obedience and complete cutting off of my own will and many other very hard practices and deeds, as I journeyed on an unrestrained and unyielding course, I have been deemed worthy again to see a small and little ray, somewhat dimly, of that most sweet and divine light, but such a vision as I saw then, I have not yet been deemed worthy to behold up to now".
So he spoke these things to me with tears, and many other things than these. And I, the wretched one, having listened to his holy words and considered that he was entirely full of divine grace and a truly wise man, even if he did not possess the discourse of worldly wisdom, and not only this, but that he also possessed precise information of the very matters from practical knowledge, I begged him to tell me how faith is able to work such wonders, and to set these things out for me in writing in the manner of a teaching. And he began to speak and did not hesitate to write the things that were said, (301) which, so that we might not prolong the discourse, we have arranged elsewhere as a table of good cheer for those who approach what has been written with faith.
For this reason I beseech you, brothers in Christ, let us too run with toil the course of the commandments of Christ, and our faces shall by no means be put to shame. But just as to everyone who knocks persistently He opens the gates of His kingdom and
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(299) Μοναχῷ γάρ γεγονότι ὕστερον ἐνέτυχον, τρίτον ἔτος ἤ καί τέταρτον ἐν τῇ μοναδικῇ πολιτείᾳ διατελοῦντι καί τόν τριακοστόν δεύτερον τῆς ἡλικίας τοῦ σώματος αὐτοῦ χρόνον ἄγοντι. Ἀκριβῶς γάρ αὐτόν ἐγίνωσκον, ὡς φίλον ὄντα καί συνανάτροφον, διό καί προσθείς ὑφηγήσατό μοι ταῦτα· "Ὅτι μετά τήν θαυμαστήν ἐκείνην ἀλλοίωσιν καί τήν εἰς ἐμέ ὑπέρ ἄνθρωπον γενομένην ἀντίληψιν οὐ πολλαί, φησίν, ἡμέραι διεληλύθησαν καί συνεχεῖς μοι τοῦ βίου ἐπέπεσον πειρασμοί, ὑφ᾿ ὧν καί ἐμαυτόν ἑώρων πρός κρυπτάς ἐργασίας ἐμποδιζόμενον καί τοῦ καλοῦ κατά μικρόν ὑστερούμενον, καί ἐγλιχόμην ἔξω τοῦ κόσμου γενέσθαι παντός καί κατά μόνας ἐκζητεῖν τόν ὀφθέντα μοι - τούτου γάρ χάριν πέπεισμαι, ἀδελφέ, ὅτι ὅλως φανῆναί μοι εὐδόκησεν, ἵνα πρός ἑαυτόν με τόν ἀνάξιον ἐφελκύσηται καί παντός τοῦ κόσμου ἀποχωρίσῃ με . Ἐπεί δέ τοῦτο ποιῆσαι συντόμως οὐκ ἴσχυσα, κατά μικρόν μικρόν πάντων τῶν προλεχθέντων ἐπιλαθόμενος, εἰς παντελῆ κατήντησα σκότωσιν, ὥστε μή μεμνῆσθαί μέ τινος μικροῦ ἤ μεγάλου μέχρι ψιλῆς ἐννοίας ποτέ, ἐξ ὧνπερ προείρηκα. Εἰς πλείονα δέ μᾶλλον κακά ὑπέρ τά συμβάντα μοι πρώην περιέπεσον καί οὕτω διεκείμην, ὡς μηδέ ἐννοήσας ποτέ ἤ ἀκούσας τά ἅγια ῥήματα τοῦ Χριστοῦ. Ἀλλά καί τόν ἅγιον ἐκεῖνον, τόν τότε με ἐλεήσαντα καί τήν μικράν μοι ἐντολήν δεδωκότα καί τήν ῥηθεῖσαν βίβλον ἐξαποστείλαντα, ὡς ἕνα τῶν τυχόντων ἀνθρώπων ἔβλεπον καί οὐδέ ψιλήν ἔννοιαν περί τῶν ὁραθέντων μοι δι᾿ αὐτόν ἐλάμβανον. Ταῦτα δέ, φησί, λέγω σοι, ἵνα μάθῃς ἀκριβῶς εἰς οἷον ἀπωλείας βόθρον ἐκ ῥαθυμίας κατηνέχθην ἐγώ ὁ ἄθλιος καί τοῦ Θεοῦ θαυμάσῃς καί ἐκπλαγῇς τήν καί μετά ταῦτα εἰς ἐμέ γενομένην ἀγαθότητα ἄφατον.
(300) Καί γάρ, οὐκ οἶδ᾿ ὅπως εἴπω, ἀγνώστως οὕτως ἐν τῇ ταλαιπώρῳ καρδίᾳ μου ἡ πρός τόν ἅγιον γέροντα ἀγάπη καί πίστις διέμενε, δι᾿ ἥν, ὡς οἶμαι, μετά τήν τοσούτων χρόνων παρέλευσιν ὁ Θεός ὁ φιλάνθρωπος ταῖς ἐκείνου εὐχαῖς ἐλεήσας με, δι᾿ αὐτοῦ με πάλιν ἐκ τῆς πολλῆς πλάνης καί τοῦ βυθοῦ τῶν κακῶν ἐξαρπάσας ἐρρύσατο. Οὐ γάρ ἀπέστην τελείως ἐξ αὐτοῦ ὁ ἀνάξιος, ἀλλά καί τά γινόμενα ἐξηγόρευον καί εἰς τό κελλίον αὐτοῦ, ὅτε ἐν τῇ πόλει ἐτύγχανον, ἀπηρχόμην συχνότερον, εἰ καί τάς ἐντολάς αὐτοῦ ὁ ἀσυνείδητος οὐκ ἐφύλαττον. Νυνί δέ, καθάπερ ὁρᾷς, τά πολλά τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων μου πλήθη παριδών ὁ εὔσπλαχνος Κύριος καί μοναχόν με γενέσθαι παρ᾿ αὐτοῦ τοῦ ἁγίου γέροντος ᾠκονόμησε καί μετ᾿ αὐτοῦ συνεῖναί με διηνεκῶς, τόν ἐπ᾿ ἀληθείας ἀνάξιον, κατηξίωσε. Κόπῳ τοίνυν πολλῷ καί πλείοσι δάκρυσι καί ἀκριβεῖ ξενιτεία καί τελείᾳ ὑπακοῇ καί ἐκκοπῇ παντελεῖ τοῦ οἰκείου θελήματος καί πολλοῖς ἄλλοις σκηροτάτοις ἐπιτηδεύμασί τε καί πράξεσιν, ἀκατασχέτῳ καί ἀνενδότῳ δρόμῳ πορευομένυ μου, μικράν μέν καί ὀλίγην ἀμυδρῶς πως ἀκτῖνα τοῦ γλυκυτάτου καί θείου ἐκείνου φωτός ἰδεῖν καί αὖθις ἠξίωμαι, τοιαύτην δέ θεωρίαν, οἶα τότε ἑώρακα, οὐδέπω μέχρι τοῦ νῦν ἠξιώθην θεάσασθαι".
Ταῦτα οὖν δακρύων ἐλάλει μοι καί τούτων ἕτερα πλείονα. Ἐγώ δέ ὁ ταλαίπωρος τῶν ἁγίων ἐκείνου ῥημάτων ἐπακροασάμενος καί ὅλον ὄντα τῆς θείας ἔμπλεων χάριτος στοχασάμενος καί ἀληθῆ σοφόν, εἰ καί μή λόγον εἶχε σοφίας τῆς ἔξωθεν, οὐ μόνον δέ, ἀλλά καί τῶν πραγμάτων αὐτῶν ἀκριβῆ κεκτημένον τήν εἴδησιν ἐκ πρακτικῆς γνώσεως, εἰπεῖν μοι αὐτόν παρεκάλεσα πῶς τοιαῦτα ἡ πίστις ἐνεργεῖν θαυμάσια πέφυκε, καί διδασκαλίας τρόπῳ ἐγγράφως ταῦτα ἐκθέσασθαί μοι. Ὁ δέ καί λέγειν ἀπήρξατο καί τά λεγόμενα γράφειν οὐκ ὤκνησεν, (301) ἅ καί, ἵνα μή τόν λόγον μηκύνωμεν, ἐν ἄλλοις ἀνεταξάμεθα εἰς τράπεζαν εὐφροσύνης, τοῖς μετά πίστεως τῶν γεγραμμένων ἐπιβατεύουσι.
∆ιά τοῦτο παρακαλῶ ὑμᾶς, ἐν Χριστῷ ἀδελφοί, δράμωμεν ἐμπόνως καί ἡμεῖς τόν δρόμον τῶν ἐντολῶν τοῦ Χριστοῦ, καί τά πρόσωπα ἡμῶν οὐ μή καταισχυνθῇ. Ἀλλ᾿ ὥσπερ παντί τῷ κρούοντι ἐπιμόνως ἀνοίγει τάς πύλας τῆς βασιλείας αὐτοῦ καί