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He gives to the one who asks a right and all-holy Spirit, and it is not possible for the one who seeks with his whole soul not to find and be rich with the wealth of His gifts, so you also will delight in His ineffable good things, which He has prepared for those who love Him, now in part and with the better wisdom, but in the age to come, completely, with all the saints from the ages in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory for ages of ages. Amen.
Concerning repentance and the fear of God. And what kind of struggle of soul and pain of heart he has who repents with a contrite spirit. And what are the things he
says and prays to the merciful Lord.
Discourse 23. (302) Hear my words, my last-born sons, my beloved, my treasured ones,
hear me, if you truly long for me and seek me as a father. Which man, having been struck in his heart with poison and aching and being cut within by sharp pain, will care for small wounds of the skin of his body or be concerned about them? For the hidden pain in his heart will cover every pain or itch that occurs on the skin of his body, and from the anguish of his heart he is not permitted to look and see the things on his body, but by the unbearable pain and agony of his heart he forgets the sores on his body, and he will tear his garments with his hands and with the nails of his hands will scratch the wounds of his body. And he will forget his parents and his friends (303) and will not look any man in the eyes, nor will he turn with a stern face toward a man who curses him. He will not care for his possessions or his affairs; he will leave his wealth to be plundered by those who wish. He will not eat bread with pleasure, for he is filled with bitterness. He will not drink wine with pleasure, for pain is satiety to him. To those who call him to a drinking supper he will answer with great anger: "Depart from me, for death crushes my heart, and what do I know if it might take it now? For to live in this life has become hateful to me, because this life is death, and I did not know it." He will not get up onto the bed of his couch, but will be rolling and convulsing upon the earth, crying aloud and lamenting, taking no thought for those who see him behaving unseemly or for those who hear his cry and revile him. His eyes will be streams, pouring forth the water of a spring rather than producing sight. That man will bless every person as an angel, both those who exist and those who have passed and those who have not yet known the world, and every beast and every reptile creeping on the earth and everything that has the breath of life he will bless, saying: "How blessed are all the things made by God, living without pain in the joy of their soul and life, but I alone am weighed down by a burden of sins and am judged by the fire of judgment and suffer pain alone upon the earth!" He will consider every soul as one and will reverence it as holy to the Lord, and as one who is unclean he will be in awe of all. He will not distinguish a just man from an unjust, but will hold all as equal, (304) both the clean and the unclean. This man alone is separated from all creation under heaven, and he sits upon a dunghill of untold sins and
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δίδωσι τῷ αἰτοῦντι Πνεῦμα εὐθές καί πανάγιον, καί οὐκ ἔστι τόν ὁλοψύχως ζητοῦντα μή εὑρεῖν καί πλουτῆσαι τόν πλοῦτον τῶν χαρισμάτων αὐτοῦ, οὕτω καί ὑμεῖς ἐντρυφήσετε τῶν ἀπορρήτων αὐτοῦ ἀγαθῶν, ὧν ἡτοίμασε τοῖς ἀγαπῶσιν αὐτόν, νῦν μέν ἐκ μέρους καί μετά σοφίας τῆς κρείττονος, ἐν δέ τῷ αἰῶνι τῷ μέλλοντι ὁλοκλήρως μετά πάντων τῶν ἀπ᾿ αἰῶνος ἁγίων ἐν Χριστῷ Ἰησοῦ τῷ Κυρίῳ ἡμῶν, ᾧ ἡ δόξα εἰς τούς αἰῶνας τῶν αἰώνων. Ἀμήν.
Περί μετανοίας καί φόβου Θεοῦ. Καί ὁποῖον ἀγῶνα ἔχει ψυχῆς καί πόνον καρδίας ὁ μετά συντετριμμένου τοῦ πνεύματος μετανοῶν. Καί τίνα εἰσίν ἅ
λέγει καί πρός τόν φιλάνθρωπον Κύριον εὔχεται.
Λόγος ΚΓ΄. (302) Ἀκούσατέ μου τῶν λόγων, υἱοί μου ἔσχατοι, ἀγαπητοί μου, περιποίητοί μου,
ἀκούσατέ μου, εἰ ἀληθῶς ὡς πατέρα ποθεῖτέ με καί ζητεῖτέ με. Ποῖος τῶν ἀνθρώπων, φαρμάκῳ πληγείς τήν καρδίαν αὐτοῦ καί ἀλγῶν καί κοπτόμενος πόνῳ σφοδρῷ τά ἐντός αὐτοῦ, τραυμάτων μικρῶν δέρματος σώματος αὐτοῦ φροντίσει ἤ μελετήσει αὐτῷ περί τούτων; Ὁ γάρ ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ κρυπτός πόνος καλύψει πάντα πόνον ἤ κνησμονήν, γινομένην ἐπί δερματίδα σώματος αὐτοῦ, καί ἐκ συνοχῆς τῆς καρδίας αὐτοῦ οὐκ ἀφίεται διαβλέψαι καί ἰδεῖν τά ἐπί τῷ σώματι αὐτοῦ, ἀλλά πόνῳ καί ὀδύνῃ ἀφορήτῳ τῆς καρδίας αὐτοῦ ἐπιλανθάνεται τῶν πληγῶν, τῶν ἐν τῷ σώματι αὐτοῦ, καί τά ἱμάτια αὐτοῦ ταῖς χερσίν αὐτοῦ διαρρήξει καί τοῖς ὄνυξιν αὐτοῦ τῶν χειρῶν τά τραύματα τοῦ σώματος αὐτοῦ ἐπιξάνῃ. Ἐπιλάθηται δέ καί γονέων καί φίλων αὐτοῦ (303) καί ἐπί πάντα ἄνθρωπον οὐκ ἀτενίσει τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς, οὐδέ ἐπιστραφήσεται αὐστηρῷ τῷ προσώπῳ ἐπί ἄνθρωπον καταρώμενον αὐτόν. Οὐ φροντίσει κτημάτων ἤ πραγμάτων αὐτοῦ, καταλείψει τόν πλοῦτον αὐτοῦ εἰς διαρπαγήν τοῖς βουλομένοις. Ἄρτον ἡδέως οὐ φάγεται, ἐμπέπλησται γάρ πικρίας. Οἶνον ἡδέως οὐ πίεται, πόνος γάρ ἐστιν εἰς κόρον αὐτῷ. Τοῖς καλοῦσιν εἰς δεῖπνον πότου μετ᾿ ὀργῆς μεγάλης ἀποκριθήσεται· "Ἀπόστητε ἀπ᾿ ἐμοῦ, θάνατος γάρ συντρίβει μου τήν καρδίαν, καί τί οἶδα εἰ ἄρτι λάβῃ αὐτήν; Ζῆν γάρ ἐν βίῳ μισητόν μοι γέγονεν, ὅτι ἡ ζωή αὕτη θάνατος, ἐγώ δέ οὐκ ᾔδειν ". Ἐπί κλίνην στρωμνῆς αὐτοῦ οὐκ ἀναβήσεται, ἀλλ᾿ ἔσται κυλινδούμενος καί ἀσπαίρων ἐπί τῆς γῆς, κράζων μεγάλα καί ὀδυρόμενος, φροντίδα μηδεμίαν ποιούμενος τῶν ὁρώντων αὐτόν ἀσχημονοῦντα ἤ τῶν ἀκουόντων τῆς κραυγῆς αὐτοῦ καί καταλοιδορούντων αὐτόν. Ἔσονται οἱ ὀφθαλμοί αὐτοῦ φλέβες, πηγῆς ὕδωρ μᾶλλον προχέοντες ἤ προφέροντες τό ὁρᾷν. Πάντα ἄνθρωπον ὡς ἄγγελον μακαρίσει ὁ ἄνθρωπος ἐκεῖνος, καί τούς ὄντας καί τούς παρελθόντας καί τούς μήπω τόν κόσμον γνωρίσαντας, καί πᾶν κτῆνος καί πᾶν ἑρπετόν ἕρπον ἐπί τῆς γῆς καί πᾶν ὅ ἔχει πνεῦμα ζωῆς μακαρίσει λέγων· "Ὡς εὐλογημένα πάντα τά ὑπό τοῦ Θεοῦ ποιηθέντα, ἐν χαρᾷ ψυχῆς καί ζωῆς αὐτῶν ἀπόνως διάγοντα, ἐγώ δέ μόνος φορτίῳ βαροῦμαι ἁμαρτημάτων καί πυρί κρίσεως κρίνομαι καί ὀδυνῶμαι μόνος ἐπί τῆς γῆς! ". Πᾶσαν ψυχήν μίαν λογίσεται καί ὡς ἁγίαν τῷ κυρίῳ σεβασθήσεται καί ὡς ἀκάθαρτος εὐλαβηθήσεται ἀπό πάντων. ∆ίκαιον ἀπό ἀδίκου οὐ διακρινεῖ, ἀλλ᾿ ἕξει τούς πάντας ἴσον, (304) καθαρούς τε καί ἀκαθάρτους. Οὗτος μόνος χωρίζεται ἀπό πάσης τῆς κτίσεως τῆς ὑπό τόν οὐρανόν, καί ἐπί κοπρίας ἀμυθήτων κάθηται ἁμαρτιῶν καί