131

and as the night was illuminating the gloom and the darkness, I seemed to be in light, attending to the reading, searching out words and examining the syntax. As I was, then, O Master, occupied with these things, suddenly You appeared from above, much greater than the sun, and You shone from the heavens even to my heart. And I saw all other things as deep darkness, but a pillar of light in the midst, cutting through the whole air, extended from the heavens down to me, the wretched one. And immediately I forgot the light of the lamp, I forgot the house, that I was inside it, and in the seeming air of darkness I was sitting, but I also had a complete forgetting of my very body. I was speaking to You and now I speak from the depth of my heart: (202) Have mercy on me, O Master, have mercy on me, O only One, on me who has in no way ever served You, O Savior, but has angered You from a young age. I have pursued every carnal and spiritual wickedness and have committed sins unmeasured, monstrous, beyond all men, beyond all irrational creatures, and You have surpassed all reptiles and beasts. It is necessary, then, for You to show mercy to me, the one who has sinned foolishly beyond all others. For You Yourself said, O Christ, that the healthy have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; therefore, since I am very sick and negligent, so pour out Your great mercy upon me, O Word! But O, exultation of light, but O, stirrings of fire, but O, coursings of flame in me, the wretched one, worked by Your very own glory and from You! And I know and call Your Spirit glory, the Holy One, co-natural and of equal honor, O Word, of the same kind, of the same glory, consubstantial, only with Your Father and with You, O Christ, O God of all things. Worshipping You, I give thanks, that You have deemed me worthy, at least in some way, to know the power of Your divinity. I give thanks, that You Yourself were revealed to me as I sat in darkness, You shone, You deemed me worthy to see the light of Your countenance, which is unbearable to all. I remained sitting in the midst of darkness, I know, but while I was in the midst of it, covered in darkness, You appeared as light, You enlightened me completely with total light

131

καί φωτιζούσης τῆς νυκτός τόν ζόφον καί τό σκότος ἐδόκουν εἶναι ἐν φωτί προσέχων ἀναγνώσει, λέξεις τε οἷα ἐρευνῶν καί σκοπῶν τάς συντάξεις. Ὠς οὖν ὑπῆρχον, ∆έσποτα, ἀδολεσχῶν ἐν τούτοις, αἴφνης ἐφάνης ἄνωθεν πολύ μείζων ἡλίου καί ἔλαμψας ἐξ οὐρανῶν μέχρις ἐμῆς καρδίας. Τά δ᾿ ἄλλα πάντα ὡς βαθύ σκότος εἶναι ἐώρων, στῦλος δέ μέσον φωτεινός, ὅλον τεμών ἀέρα διῆκεν ἐκ τῶν οὐρανῶν ἕως ἐμοῦ τοῦ τάλα. Εὐθύς ἐπελαθόμην δέ φωτός τοῦ λυχνιαίου, οἰκίας ἠμνημόνησα ὅτι ἐντός ὐπάρχω, ἐν τῷ δοκεῖν ἀέρι δέ τοῦ σκότους ἐκαθήμην, πλήν καί τοῦ σώματος αὐτοῦ λήθην ἔσχον εἰς ἅπαν. Ἐλάλουν σοι καί νῦν λαλῶ ἐκ βάθους μου καρδίας˙ (202) Ἐλέησόν με, ∆έσποτα, ἐλέησόν με, μόνε, τόν μηδαμῶς μηδέποτε δουλεύσαντά σοι, Σῶτερ, ἀλλά σε παροργίζοντα ἐκ νέας ἡλικίας. Πᾶσαν μετῆλθον σαρκικήν καί ψυχικήν κακίαν καί ἁμαρτίας ἔπραξα ἀμετρήτους, ἀτόπους, ὑπέρ ἀνθρώπους ἅπαντας, ὑπέρ ἄλογα πάντα, ἑρπετά καί θηρία τε πάντα ὑπερνίκησας. Εἰς ἐμέ οὖν τό ἔλεος χρεία ἐνδείξασθαί σε, τόν καί ἐξαμαρτήσαντα ὑπέρ πάντας ἀφρόνως. Μή χρῄζειν γάρ ἐλάλησας σύ αὐτός ἰατρείας τούς ὑγιαίνοντας, Χριστέ, ἀλλά τούς ἀσθενοῦντας˙ διό ὡς ἀσθενοῦντά με πολλά καί ἀμελοῦντα οὕτως πολύ τό ἔλεος ἐπίχεέ μοι, Λόγε! Ἀλλ᾿ ὤ φωτός γαυρίαμα, ἀλλ᾿ ὤ πυρός κινήσεις ἀλλ᾿ ὤ φλογός περιδρομαί ἐν ἐμοί τῷ ἀθλίῳ παρά σῆς σῆς καί παρά σοῦ ἐνεργούμεναι δόξης! ∆όξαν δ᾿ ἐγώ τό Πνεῦμά σου ἐπίσταμαι καί λέγω, τό Ἅγιον, τό συμφυές καί ὁμότιμον, Λόγε, ὁμογενές, ὁμόδοξον, ὁμοούσιον, μόνον τῷ σῷ Πατρί καί σοί, Χριστέ, ὦ Θεέ τῶν ἁπάντων. Σοί προσκυνῶν εὐχαριστῶ, ὅτι ἠξίωσάς με, κἄν ποσῶς ἐπιγνῶναί σου θεότητος τό κράτος. Εὐχαριστῶ, ὅτι αὐτός καθημένῳ ἐν σκότει ἀπεκαλύφθης μοι, ἔλαμψας, ἰδεῖν ἠξίωσάς με τό φῶς τό τοῦ προσώπου σου, τό ἄστεκτον τοῖς πᾶσιν. Ἔμεινα καθεζόμενος ἐν σκότει μέσον, οἶδα, μέσον δέ τούτου ὄντι μοι κεκαλυμμένῳ σκότει ἐφάνης φῶς, ἐφώτισας ὅλον ὅλῳ φωτί με