135

and I sing hymns and prayers, which the men of old set forth in writing, having received Your Holy Spirit, and saying these things and thinking I have accomplished something great, I am senseless and I do not know, that just as children when learning do not know the power of the words, so I too, persevering in prayers and psalms and hymns and praising you, the only compassionate one, do not receive a perception of your glory and light, and just like the heretics, who learned many things, (208) they thought they had knowledge of you, they thought they recognized you, the all-wretched ones thought they even saw you, my God, so I too, speaking many prayers and many psalms with my tongue alone, and perhaps even with my heart, suppose that from these things I have the height of faith, from these things I imagine I comprehend all the full knowledge of the truth and need nothing more; from these things also that I see you, the light of the world, Savior, from these things also I say I possess you and that you are with me, and I think I partake of your divine nature, and I invent parables against myself and searching out words from the scripture I bring them forth and say: The Lord said that those who eat his flesh and drink his blood remain in him, and also that the Master himself dwells in them. Therefore, saying this, I proclaim the ungraspable as graspable, that the ungraspable exists in the graspable body, and that the one who is entirely uncontainable can be held and seen. And I do not know, wretched one that I am, that in those in whom you wish, you, the creator, exist as perceptible and held and seen, perceptible and held and seen. But in impure and unworthy ones like me, you rather deify your perceptible body and blood and unalterably transform it to be completely uncontainable and entirely ungraspable, or rather, in truth, you remake it as spiritual, invisible, just as of old, when the doors were shut, you entered and departed and you became invisible from the eyes of the disciples at the breaking of the bread, so also now you perfect the bread and make it your spiritual body. (209) And I think I possess you, whether you wish it or not, and partaking of your flesh I think I receive you and am disposed as a holy one, my Christ,

135

καί ὕμνους ᾄδω καί εὐχάς, ἅς ἐγγράφως οἱ πάλαι τό Πνεῦμά σου τό Ἅγιον ἐξέθεντο λαβόντες, καί λέγων ταῦτα καί δοκῶν μέγα τι πεπραχέναι ἀναισθητῶ καί ἀγνοῶ, ὅτι ὥσπερ οἱ παῖδες μανθάνοντες οὐκ ἴσασι τήν δύναμιν τῶν λόγων, οὕτως κἀγώ ταῖς προσευχαῖς καί ψαλμοῖς τε καί ὕμνοις ἐγκαρτερῶν καί ἀνυμνῶν σέ τόν εὔσπλαγχνον μόνον, τῆς σῆς δόξης καί τοῦ φωτός αἴσθησιν οὐ λαμβάνω, καί ὥσπερ οἱ αἱρετικοί, οἱ πολλά ἐκμαθόντες, (208) ἐδόκουν τοῦ εἰδέναι σε, ἐδόκουν σέ γινώσκειν, ἐδόκουν οἱ πανάθλιοι καί βλέπειν σε, Θεέ μου, οὕτω κἀγώ πολλάς εὐχάς καί πολλάς ψαλμῳδίας λαλῶν ἐν μόνῃ γλώσσῃ μου, ἴσως δέ καί καρδίᾳ, ἐκ τούτων τό τῆς πίστεως ἄκρον ἔχειν νομίζω, ἐκ τούτων τήν ἐπίγνωσιν πᾶσαν τῆς ἀληθείας οἴομαι τό καταλαβεῖν καί μηδέν πλέον χρῄζειν˙ ἐκ τούτων κάί τό βλέπειν σε, τό φῶς τοῦ κόσμου, Σῶτερ, ἐκ τούτων καί κατέχειν σε καί συνεῖναί μοι λέγω καί συμμετέχειν φύσεως τῆς θείας σου νομίζω, καί κατ᾿ ἐμοῦ παραβολάς ἐφευρίσκω καί λόγους ἀνερευνῶν ἐκ τῆς γραφῆς προβάλλομαι καί λέγω˙ Ὁ Κύριος τούς τρώγοντας εἶπεν αὐτοῦ τήν σάρκα καί τούς τό αἷμα πίνοντας ἐν αὐτῷ καταμένειν, ἀλλά καί κατοικεῖν αὐτός ἐν αὐτοῖς ὁ ∆εσπότης. Τοῦτο οὖν λέγων ὡς ληπτόν τόν ἄληπτον κηρύττω, ἐν τῷ ληπτῷ τοῦ σώματος τόν ἄληπτον ὑπάρχειν, καί κρατητόν καί ὁρατόν τόν ἀκράτητον πάντῃ. Καί ἀγνοῶ, ὁ δυστυχής, ὅτι ἐν οἷς ἄν θέλῃς, τῷ αἰσθητῷ καί κρατητῷ καί ὁρατῷ ὑπάρχεις, αἰσθητός τε καί κρατητός καί ὁρατός, ὁ κτίστης. Ἐν ἀκαθάρτοις δ᾿ ὡς ἐγώ καί ἀναξίοις μᾶλλον θεοποιεῖς τό αἰσθητόν σῶμα σοῦ τε καί αἷμα καί παντελῶς ἀκράτητον, ἄληπτόν τε εἰς ἅπαν ἀναλλοιώτως ἀλοιοῖς, μᾶλλον δ᾿ ἐν ἀληθείᾳ πνευματικόν μεταποιεῖς, ἀόρατον, ὡς πάλαι συγκεκλεισμένων τῶν θυρῶν εἰσῆλθες καί ἐξῆλθες καί ἄφαντος ἐξ ὀφθαλμῶν ἐν τῇ κλάσει τοῦ ἄρτου ἐγένου σύ τῶν μαθητῶν, οὕτω καί νῦν τόν ἄρτον ἀποτελεῖς καί σῶμα σου πνευματικόν ἐργάζῃ. (209) Κἀγώ δοκῶ κατέχειν σε, κἄν θέλῃς, κἄν μή θέλῃς, καί κοινωνῶν τῆς σῆς σαρκός καί σοῦ μεταλαμβάνειν νομίζω καί διάκειμαι ὡς ἅγιος, Χριστέ μου,