Wanting to see the emperor's procession at the church of the Holy Apostles, he pitilessly beat me (alas for me) with a club, striking unsparingly shoulders, head, ears, ribs, and legs, shattering every limb of mine. I struggled to flee, and there was no place for flight, as the crowds were flooding like a river, until exhausted, half-dead, barely breathing, I went home groaning, fainting. And now in my sleep, seeing the club-bearer rushing to strike me, and taking to flight, I leave the enemy and my sleep at once. 63 Of Psellos, to his soul All creation, weep for me, the transgressor. Like a tear, heaven, let fall your dew, and wash out the stain of shameful pollutions; sun, entreat the great sun to enlighten my darkened soul and heart; let the moon stand still, and you, choir of the stars, ask for ransom for my sins; earth, cry out from the midst of your heart, mountains, pour forth a stream of tears, sea, weep a pitiable lamentation, abyss, send forth a voice to the master. Choirs of prophets, patriarchs, virgins, apostles, martyrs and teachers, of all the righteous, holy light-bearers, strengthen me in the divine fear; seal of prophets and consummation of God-inspired speakers, take thought for me, the stained one, bestow streams of soul-nourishing tears, by divine fear save me even beyond my deserving. Thrones, cherubim and seraphim and intellects, dominions, powers, authorities, orders of principalities, archangels and angels, by your prayers save the transgressor. Beneficent Nicholas, Virgin, intercede now for a most wretched, most evil and utterly miserable servant. grant me grace and an inheritance to offer a prayer in fear and desire that is untiring, undistracted, sanctified, firm, unhindered, heaven-coursing. Mind, on the wings of the heart [........], ascend most swiftly to the heavens, pass through the myriads of angels, go beyond the triarchies of the archangels, approach the divine throne of the Trinity, touch the shining hems beyond my deserving, beseech and obtain salvation. O father, son, spirit, holy trinity, unfailing good flowing to all, much-loved beauty that knows no satiety, save, have mercy, be gracious to me. I have sinned, I have transgressed and been corrupted, I have sinned, I have done wrong and have been tripped up. a dark-formed, obscured infant, and a profane, worthless child, and a youth filled with shame, a most evil, abominable young man, a crooked and defiled man, middle-aged in rottenness, in pollution, a licentious old man, a stained plague. From the swaddling clothes of the spirit, as to the divine grace, I was defiled by the filth of sin. divine baptism I foolishly pushed aside, I was darkened by the gloom of prodigality, the all-good gift I overlooked. I was mired in the mud of wickedness, I was deprived of soul-nourishing virtues, I was ostracized from divine gifts, I was alienated from eternal goods. I have cast off the all-blessed robe, woven from above, sanctified; I did not desire the life of virgins, I did not love the life of the temperate; a black robe, on the contrary, I acquired, a filthy robe, a garment of wickedness, the stained tunic of the flesh. 64 Verses by the same, written for the tomb of a woman, as if from her husband Now for the first time have I received a bitter pain, now have I felt a grief that strikes the heart; not as one who has had the good fortune of a painless life (for I have endured many terrible dangers, I have lamented at many funeral processions), but as one who has suffered the ultimate loss, the previous
Ἀποστόλων θέλοντα πομπὴν τὴν βασιλέως βλέπειν ἀνηλεῶς ἔτυπτε (φεῦ μοι) τῷ ξύλῳ, ὤμους, κεφαλήν, ὦτα, πλευρὰς καὶ σκέλη παίων ἀφειδῶς, πᾶν μέλος μοι συντρίβων. φεύγειν δ' ἐμόχθουν καὶ φυγῆς οὐκ ἦν τόπος, ὥσπερ ποταμοῦ πλημμυρούντων τῶν ὄχλων, ἕως ἀπειπών, ἡμιθνής, βραχὺ πνέων, οἴκοι στενάζων, λειποθυμῶν ᾠχόμην. καὶ νῦν ἐν ὕπνοις τὸν κορυνήτην βλέπων ὁρμώμενον τύψαι με καὶ διδοὺς δρόμῳ, λείπω τὸν ἐχθρὸν καὶ τὸν ὕπνον αὐτίκα. 63 Τοῦ Ψελλοῦ εἰς τὴν ψυχήν Πᾶσα κτίσις κλαῦσόν με τὸν παραβάτην. ὡς δάκρυον στάλαξον, οὐρανέ, δρόσον καὶ σπίλον αἰσχρῶν ἔκπλυνον μολυσμάτων· ἥλιε, δυσώπησον ἥλιον μέγαν ψυχὴν σκοτεινὴν φωτίσαι καὶ καρδίαν· στήτω σελήνη, καὶ χορὸς τῶν ἀστέρων αἰτεῖτε λύτρον τῶν ἐμῶν ἐγκλημάτων· ἡ γῆ βόησον ἐκ μέσης τῆς καρδίας, ὄρη σταλαγμὸν ἐκβλύσατε δακρύων, θάλασσα κλαῦσον κλαυθμὸν ἠλεημένον, ἄβυσσε φωνὴν πέμψον εἰς τὸν δεσπότην. Χοροὶ προφητῶν, πατριαρχῶν, παρθένων, ἀποστόλων, μαρτύρων καὶ διδασκάλων, πάντων δικαίων, ἱερῶν σελασφόρων, ἐμὲ κραταιώσατε τῷ θείῳ φόβῳ· σφραγὶς προφητῶν καὶ τέλος θεηγόρων, ἐμοῦ φρόντισον τοῦ κατεσπιλωμένου, κρουνοὺς βράβευσον δακρύων ψυχοτρόφων, θείῳ φόβῳ σῶσόν με καὶ παρ' ἀξίαν. Θρόνοι, χερουβὶμ καὶ σεραφὶμ καὶ νόοι, κυριότητες, δυνάμεις, ἐξουσίαι, ἀρχῶν ἀρχαγγέλων τε τάξεις ἀγγέλων, ὑμῶν λιταῖς σώσατε τὸν παραβάτην. Ἀγαθοποιὲ Νικόλαε, παρθένε, πρεσβεύσατε νῦν ὑπὲρ ἀθλιωτάτου δούλου κακίστου καὶ λίαν παναθλίου. δίδοιτέ μοι χάριν τε καὶ κληρουχίαν φέρειν δέησιν ἐν φόβῳ τε καὶ πόθῳ ἄοκνον, ἀρέμβαστον, ἡγιασμένην, στερράν, ἀνεμπόδιστον, οὐρανοδρόμον. Νόος, πτέρυξι καρδίας [........], εἰς οὐρανοὺς ἄνελθε συντομωτάτως, τῶν ἀγγέλων δίελθε τὰς μυριάδας, ἀρχαγγέλων πάρελθε τὰς τριαρχίας, θείῳ θρόνῳ πρόσελθε τῷ τῆς τριάδος, ἅψαι φαεινῶν κρασπέδων παρ' ἀξίαν, καθικέτευσον καὶ τυχεῖν σωτηρίας. Ὦ πάτερ, υἱέ, πνεῦμα, τριὰς ἁγία, ἀγαθὸν ἀκένωτον εἰς πάντας ῥέον, κάλλος πολυέραστον οὐκ ἔχον κόρον, σῶσον, κατοικτείρησον, ἱλάσθητί μοι. ἥμαρτον, ἠνόμησα καὶ κατεφθάρην, ἥμαρτον, ἠδίκησα καὶ παρεσφάλην. βρέφος σκοτεινόμορφον ἠμαυρωμένον, καὶ παιδίον βέβηλον ἠχρειωμένον, καὶ μειράκιον αἰσχύνης πεπλησμένον, νεανίας κάκιστος ἐβδελυγμένος, ἀνὴρ σκολιὸς καὶ κατερρυπωμένος, μεσαιπόλιος σαπρίᾳ, μιαρίᾳ, γέρων ἀσελγής, λοιμὸς ἐσπιλωμένος. ἐκ σπαργάνων πνεύματος τὴν θείαν χάριν κατερρυπώθην τῆς ἁμαρτία ῥύπῳ. βάπτισμα θεῖον ἀφρόνως παρωσάμην, κατεζοφώθην τῆς ἀσωτίας ζόφῳ, πανάγαθον δώρημα παρεβλεψάμην. ἐβορβορώθην κακίας τῷ βορβόρῳ, ἀπεστερήθην ἀρετῶν ψυχοτρόφων, ἐξωστρακίσθην ἐνθέων χαρισμάτων, ἀπεξενώθην ἀγαθῶν αἰωνίων. στολὴν ἀφῆκα τὴν πανολβιωτάτην, ἄνωθεν ὑφανθεῖσαν, ἡγιασμένην· οὐκ ἠθέλησα τὸν βίον τῶν παρθένων, οὐκ ἠγάπησα τὸν βίον τῶν σωφρόνων· στολὴν μέλαιναν τοὔμπαλιν ἐκτησάμην, στολὴν ῥυπαράν, ἱμάτιον κακίας, χιτῶνα σαρκὸς τὸν κατεσπιλωμένον. 64 Τοῦ αὐτοῦ στίχοι γραφέντες εἰς τάφον γυναικὸς ὡς ἀπὸ τοῦ ἀνδρὸς αὐτῆς Νῦν πρῶτα πικρὸν ἄλγος εἰσεδεξάμην, νῦν καρδίαν πλήττοντος ᾐσθόμην πόνου· οὐχ ὡς ἄλυπον εὐτυχήσας τὸν βίον (πολλοὺς γὰρ ὑπήνεγκα δεινοὺς κινδύνους, πολλαῖς ἐπεθρήνησα νεκροπομπίαις), ἀλλ' ὡς πεπονθὼς ζημίαν τὴν ἐσχάτην τὰς πρὶν