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to sit in this very cell, and He was not angry, He did not turn away from you because of your sins, nor did He hand you over to death or to demons to destroy you. Therefore, having remembered all these things well, rise and, placing the mat on the ground and a small stone for a pillow, prepare the bed on which you are about to recline.
And listen! I suggest to you another way of truly fervent repentance, one that will quickly bring you tears and compunction, and especially if you are stone-hearted and slow to mourning and without compunction. But may what I am about to advise you not appear to you, without examination, as paradoxical and unusual for the faithful.
For the one who has kept himself unstained for God after baptism and has preserved the image undefiled for the One who made and formed him, needs none of the other (390) existing means for his restoration, being in God. But the one who has defiled himself after this with unbecoming and lawless deeds and has prodigally made the temple of his body—I mean the house of God—a house of pleasures and passions and demons, needs not only the way of repentance that I am about to tell you and advise, but also many other methods and devices of repentance in order to propitiate God and to recall to himself the divine dignity which he lost through his sinful life. And may the discourse "On Repentance" by John of the Ladder, the divine father, which contains many such things, persuade you.
But what is the way of repentance which I suggest to you, advising you paternally, listen without being scandalized and with understanding, brother. After then preparing, as has been said, the mat for your bed on which you are about to recline, stand for prayer as one condemned. First, say the Trisagion, then say the Our Father; and as you say this, remember who you are, what kind of being, and what Father you are calling upon. But when you come to say the Lord have mercy and wish to stretch out your hands to the height of heaven, looking toward it with your physical eyes and attending to them, and gathering yourself with your mind, remember your wicked deeds, and how much you have sinned through them, and what sort of shameful deeds perhaps you have touched through them, and be afraid, saying within yourself: "Woe to me, the unclean and defiled! Lest God, seeing me shamelessly stretching out my hands before Him, remember my lawless acts which I did through them, and send forth fire against me and consume me." Therefore, turning them behind you (391) and binding them together, as one being led to death, groaning from the depth of your soul, say with a pitiful voice: "Have mercy on me, the sinner and unworthy to live, but truly worthy of all punishment," and whatever else the grace of God may grant you to say. And remembering your sinful deeds, strike yourself vehemently and unsparingly, saying: "How have you done such and such things, you wicked and wretched one? " and again turn your hands and stand, praying to God. Then slap your face again, pluck your hair, pulling it as if from a stranger and an enemy who has conspired against you, and say: "Why have you done such and such things?" and having thus scourged yourself sufficiently, then bind your hands in front and stand with a cheerful soul. And having said two or three psalms with understanding and made as many prostrations as you think you are able, stand again with attentiveness and reflect on the aforesaid things within yourself, if ever God should grant tears and compunction to come upon you. And if this should happen, do not cease until they pass; but if not, do not be afflicted, but say these things to yourself: "Compunction and tears are for the worthy and for those who have been prepared for them. But you, how many years have you besought God or served Him? Through what deeds have you prepared yourself for their reception? Is it not enough for you that you are even alive?". Having said these things and given thanks, having sealed your face and chest and your whole body with the sign of the precious cross, falling upon your mat, recline.
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αὐτήν τήν κέλλαν καθίσαι, καί οὐκ ὠργίσθη, οὐκ ἀπεστράφη σε διά τάς ἁμαρτίας σου, οὐδέ τῷ θανάτῳ ἤ τοῖς δαίμοσιν παραδέδωκε τοῦ ὀλέσαι σε. Τούτων οὖν ἁπάντων ἀναμνημονεύσας καλῶς, ἀνάστα καί τό ψιάθιον θείς ἐπί γῆς καί μικρόν τινα λίθον εἰς προσκεφάλαιον, προευτρέπισον τήν κοίτην ἐν ᾗ μέλλεις ἀνακλιθῆναι.
Καί ἄκουσον! Ὑποτίθητί σοι καί ἕτερον τρόπον θερμῆς ὡς ἀληθῶς μετανοίας, πρόξενόν σοι γενόμενον διά τάχους δακρύων καί κατανύξεως, καί μάλιστα εἰ λιθώδης τις εἶ τῇ καρδίᾳ καί πρός πένθος βραδύς καί ἀκατάνυκτος. Ἀλλά μή παράδοξόν σοι καί ἀσύνηθες τοῖς πσιτοῖς, ὅ μέλλω σοι συμβουλεύσασθαι, ἀβασανίστως καταφανῇ.
Ὁ μέν γάρ ἑαυτόν φυλάξας μετά τό βάπτισμα ἄσπιλον τῷ Θεῷ καί τό κατ᾿ εἰκόνα διατηρήσας τῷ ποιήσαντι καί πλάσαντι ἄχραντον, οὐδενός ἑτέρου (390) πρός ἀνάκλησιν ἐπιδεηθῇ τῶν ἱσταμένων, τυγχάνων ἐν τῷ Θεῷ. Ὁ δέ μολύνας ἑαυτόν μετά τοῦτο πράξεσιν ἀτόποις καί ἀνομίαις καί τόν ναόν τοῦ σώματος αὐτοῦ, τόν οἶκόν φημι τοῦ Θεοῦ, οἶκον ἡδονῶν καί παθῶν καί δαιμόνων ἀσώτως ἀπεργασάμενος, οὐ μόνον οὗ μέλλω εἰπεῖν σοι καί συμβουλεύσασθαι τρόπου πρός μετάνοιαν χρῄζει, ἀλλά καί ἑτέρων μεθόδων πολλῶν καί ἐπινοῶν μετανοίας εἰς τό ἐξιλεώσασθαι τόν Θεόν καί ἀνακαλέσασθαι πρός ἑαυτόν, ὅπερ διά τῆς ἐφαμάρτου ζωῆς ἀπώλεσε, θεῖον ἀξίωμα. Καί πειθέτω σε τοιαῦτα πολλά περιέχων ὁ "Περί μετανοίας" λόγος τῆς Κλίμακος Ἰωάννου, τοῦ θείου πατρός.
Τίς δέ ἐστιν ὁ τρόπος, ὅν σοι πατρικῶς συμβουλεύων ὑποτίθημι, τῆς μετανοίας, ἄκουσον ἀσκανδαλίστως καί συνετῶς, ἀδελφέ. Μετά γοῦν τό προευτρεπίσαι, ὥσπερ εἴρηται, τό τῆς κοίτης ψιάθιον ἐν ᾗ μέλλεις ἀνακλιθῆναι, στῆθι εἰς προσευχήν ὡς κατάκριτος. Ποίησον ἐν πρώτοις Τρισάγιον, εἶτα εἶπον τό Πάτερ ἡμῶν· καί τοῦτο λέγων μνήσθητι τίς ὤν ὁποῖον καί τίνα πατέρα καλεῖς. Ὅτε δέ εἰπεῖν ἔλθῃς τό Κύριε ἐλέησον καί ἐκτεῖναι θελήσῃς τάς χεῖράς σου εἰς τό ὕψος τοῦ οὐρανοῦ, πρός αὐτόν ἐμβλέψας τοῖς αἰσθητοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς καί προσχών αὐταῖς καί τῇ διανοίᾳ ἑαυτόν ἐπισυνάξας, μνήσθητι τῶν φαύλων σου ἔργων, καί ὅσα ἥμαρτες δι΄ αὐτῶν καί ὁποίων ποτέ ἥψω ἔργων ἴσως αἰσχρῶν δι᾿ αὐτῶν, καί φοβήθητι λέγων ἐν σεαυτῷ· "Οὐαί μοι τῷ ἀκαθάρτῳ καί μιαρῷ! Μήποτε ἰδών με ὁ Θεός τάς χεῖράς μου ἁπλοῦντα ἀναιδῶς ἔμπροσθεν αὐτοῦ μνησθῇ μου τῶν ἀνομιῶν, ὧν ἔπραξα δι᾿ αὐτῶν, καί πῦρ ἐκπέμψει κατ᾿ ἐμοῦ καί ἐκλείξει με". Στρέψας οὖν αὐτάς εἰς τά ὀπίσω (391) καί συνδήσας, ὡς ἐπί θάνατον ἀγόμενος, ἐκ βάθους στενάξας ψυχῆς εἶπον ἐλεεινῇ τῇ φωνῇ· "Ἐλέησόν με τόν ἁμαρτωλόν καί ἀνάξιον τοῦ ζῆν, ἄξιον δέ πάσης ὄντως κολάσεως" καί ἄλλα ὅσα ἡ τοῦ Θεοῦ χάρις δῴη σοι τοῦ εἰπεῖν. Ἀναμνημονεύων δέ τῶν ἐφαμάρτων σου πράξεων, τύπτε σφοδρῶς καί ἀφειδῶς σεαυτόν λέγων· "Πῶς τά καί τά, πονηρέ καί ἄθλιε, πέπραχας; " καί πάλιν στρέψον τάς χεῖρας καί ἵστασο δεόμενος τοῦ Θεοῦ. Εἶτα ῥάπιζε πάλιν τό πρώσωπόν σου, τίλλε τάς τρίχας σου, σύρων αὐτάς, ὡς ξένου τινός καί ἐπιβούλου σοι γεγονότος ἐχθροῦ, καί εἰπέ· "∆ιατί τά καί τά πεπεοίηκας;" καί οὕτω μαστίξας σεαυτόν ἱκανῶς, δῆσον τότε τάς χεῖράς σου ἔμπροσθεν καί στῆθι ἐν ἱλαρᾷ τῇ ψυχῇ. Ποιήσας δέ ψαλμούς δύο ἤ τρεῖς νουνεχῶς καί προσκυνήσεις, ὅσας νοήσεις σεαυτόν δύνασθαι, στῆθι πάλιν σύννους καί τά προειρημένα ἀναλογίζου ἐν σεαυτῷ, εἴποτε καί δῴη ὁ Θεός ἐλθεῖν ἐπί σέ δάκρυα καί κατάνυξιν. Καί εἰ μέν τοῦτο γένηται, μή ὑποχωρήσῃς ἕως ἄν παρέλθωσιν· εἰ δ᾿ οὖν, μή θλιβῇς, ἀλλ᾿ εἰπέ ταῦτα πρός ἑαυτόν· "Ἡ κατάνυξις καί τά δάκρυα τῶν ἀξίων καί πρός ταῦτα ηὐπρεπισμένων εἰσί. Σύ δέ πόσα ἔτη παρεκάλεσας τόν Θεόν ἤ ἐδούλευσας αὐτῷ; ∆ιά ποίων σου ἔργων ηὐτρέπισας πρός ὑποδοχήν αὐτῶν σεαυτόν; Οὐκ ἀρκεῖ σοι ὅτι καί ζῇς;". Ταῦτα εἰπών καί εὐχαριστήσας κατασφραγισάμενος πρόσωπόν τε καί στῆθος καί ὅλον τό σῶμά σου τῷ σημείῳ τοῦ τιμίου σταυροῦ, ἐπί τοῦ ψιαθίου σου πεσών ἀνακλίθητι.