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"What then has all this profited me until now, or what will it profit me at the departure of my wretched soul, if tomorrow He who has power over every breath commands me to be taken from this world? Truly nothing! Therefore, let me not spend the remaining days of my life here in vain, but from this moment I will make a new beginning and, leaving all those things behind, I too will practice their opposites, as the holy fathers did. And I will fast so much in place of my former gluttony, that I will not even be able to move my tongue for (387) conversation, and I will afflict my stomach with hunger and thirst, and my untamable tongue will certainly be tamed, but indeed along with these I will come to somberness and paleness and sorrow, and I will be freed from the pride of my thoughts, and with these I will easily cease from being distracted and from jesting and laughing. I will clothe myself in humble garments and give my valuables to the poor; along with them I will also scatter what gold I possess into the hands of the needy. For what need have I to be anxious about these things from now on, if I am to commit my whole self to Him who nourishes all things? I will renounce riding horses and mules; I will deny all my relatives and friends and acquaintances. For he who loves anyone more than God is by no means worthy of Him, as He Himself says. I will not touch a bath, I will not get into my bed with its bedding, but I will readily give myself to sleeping on the ground and on a hard bed, so that I may sleep little even unwillingly, being distressed by the harshness. For what if I should die? Am I worthy to live?

"For doing so, rising at midnight, I will fall down and weep in affliction for my sinful soul, and with groans and tears I would say to God: Master, Lord of heaven and earth, I know that I have sinned more than any human being and even than the irrational animals and reptiles before you, my fearful and unapproachable God, and I am not worthy to ever receive mercy from you at all. For this reason I would not have dared to approach or fall down before you, O philanthropic King, if I had not heard your holy voice saying: (388) "I do not desire the death of the sinner, but that he should turn and live," and again that "there is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents." But remembering also the parable of the prodigal son which you told, Master, how when he was coming, before he drew near to you, you, the compassionate one, went to him and fell upon his neck and kissed him, taking courage in the sea of your goodness I have come to you in pain and sorrow and somberness of my heart, being hardened and terribly wounded and lying grievously on the brink of hades because of my iniquities. Nevertheless, from now on I give you my word, Lord, that as long as you command me to be in this life and in this body, I will not forsake you, nor will I turn back, nor will I touch vain and evil things again. But you, my God, know my weakness, my misery, my faintheartedness, and the preoccupations that are going to tyrannize and afflict me. Help me, I fall down before you, and do not forsake me, nor for long allow me to be ridiculed and mocked by the enemy, me who from this moment am your servant, O good one."

These things, therefore, throughout the whole day, he who has just fled the world and is eager to repent ought to reason and desire within himself, brothers, he who has wished to learn this art of arts of the struggling life and ascetic practice, and for this reason has entered the stadium of its contest. Therefore (389) I shall make my exhortation to such a one, if perhaps he stands in our midst and the

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"Τί οὖν με τούτων ἁπάντων ὠφέλησε μέχρι τοῦ νῦν ἤ ἐν τῇ ἐξόδῳ τῆς ταλαιπώρου ψυχῆς μου ὠφελήσει με, εἰ αὔριον ὁ ἔχων ἐξουσίαν πάσης πνοῆς ἀπό τοῦ κόσμου τούτου κελεύσει ἀρθῆναί με; Ὄντως οὐδέν! Λοιπόν οὖν μή μάτην κἄν τάς ὑπολοίπους διάξω ἡμέρας τῆς ἐνταῦθα ζωῆς μου, ἀλλά βάλλω ἀπό τοῦ παρόντος ἀρχήν και πάντα καταλιπών ἐκεῖνα, τά ἐναντία τούτοις ὡς οἱ ἅγιοι πατέρες κἀγώ διαπράξομαι. Καί νηστεύσω μέν ἐπί τοσοῦτον ἀντί τῆς προλαβούσης ἀδηφαγίας μου, ἕως οὗ μηδέ τήν γλῶσσαν πρός (387) συντυχίαν κινῆσαί με δύνασθαι, θλίψω δέ τήν γαστέρα ἐν πείνῃ καί δίψῃ, καί δαμασθήσεται πάντως ἡ ἀδάμαστος γλῶσσα μου, ἀλλά μήν καί εἰς στυγνότητα καί ὠχρότητα καί λύπην ἅμα τούτοις ἐλεύσομαι καί τοῦ γαυριάματος τῶν λογισμῶν ἐλευθερωθήσομαι καί τοῦ μετεωρίζεσθαι καί παίζειν καί γελᾶν σύν τούτοις εὐκόλως παύσομαι. Περιβαλοῦμαι εὐτελῆ καί τά πολύτιμα δώσω τοῖς πένησι, σκορπίσω σύν αὐτοῖς καί ὅσον χρυσίον κέκτημαι εἰς χεῖρας τῶν δεομένων· τί γάρ μοι καί τό μεριμνᾶν περί τούτων ἀπό τοῦ νῦν, εἰ τῷ τά πάντα τρέφοντι ὅλον ἐμαυτόν ἀναθήσομαι; Ἵππους ἐπιβαίνειν καί ἡμιόνους ἀποτάξομαι, τούς συγγενεῖς καί φίλους καί συνήθεις ἅπαντας ἀρνήσομαι· ὁ γάρ πλέον τοῦ Θεοῦ πάντως τινά ἀγαπῶν οὐκ ἔστιν αὐτοῦ ἐκείνου, ὡς αὐτός λέγει, ἄξιος. Λοετροῦ οὐχ ἅψομαι, ἐπί κλίνης στρωμνῆς μου οὐκ ἀναβήσομαι, ἀλλά χαμευνίᾳ καί ξηροκοιτίᾳ ἐμαυτόν προθύμως ἐκδῶ, ἵνα ὀλίγον ὑπνώσω καί μή βουλόμενος, ὑπό τῆς ξηρασίας στενοχωρούμενος. Τί γάρ, ἐάν καί ἀποθάνοιμι, ἆρα δέ ζῆν εἰμι ἄξιος;

"Οὕτω γάρ ποιῶν, ἐγειρόμενος μεσονύκτιον, προσπέσω καί κλαύσω ἐν θλίψει τῆς ἁμαρτησάσης ψυχῆς μου καί πρός τόν Θεόν ἐν στεναγμοῖς καί δάκρυσιν εἴποιμι· ∆έσποτα, Κύριε τοῦ οὐρανοῦ καί τῆς γῆς, οἶδα ὅτι ἥμαρτον ὑπέρ πᾶσαν φύσιν ἀνθρώπων καί αὐτῶν τῶν ἀλόγων ζῴων καί ἑρπετῶν ἐνώπιόν σου, τοῦ φοβεροῦ καί ἀπροσίτου Θεοῦ μου, καί οὐκ εἰμί ἄξιος ἐλέους τυχεῖν ὅλως ποτέ παρά σοῦ. ∆ιά γάρ τοῦτο οὐδέ ἐτόλμων προσελθεῖν ἤ προσπεσεῖν σοι, φιλάνθρωπε βασιλεῦ, εἰ μή ἤκουσα τῆς ἁγίας φωνῆς σου λεγούσης· (388) "Οὐ θελήσει θέλω τόν θάνατον τοῦ ἁμαρτωλοῦ, ὡς τό ἐπιστρέψαι καί ζῆν αὐτόν", καί πάλιν ὅτι "χαρά γίνεται ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ ἐπί ἑνί ἁμαρτωλῷ μετανοοῦντι". Ἀλλά γάρ μνησθείς καί τῆς περί τοῦ ἀσώτου υἱοῦ παραβολῆς ἥνπερ εἴρηκας, ∆έσποτα, ὅπως ἐρχομένου αὐτοῦ, πρό τοῦ πλησίον σου γενέσθαι αὐτόν, σύ ὁ εὔσπλαχνος προσελθών ἐπέπεσας τῷ τραχήλῳ αὐτοῦ καί κατεφίλησας αὐτόν , θαρρήσας εἰς τό πέλαγος τῆς σῆς ἀγαθότητος προσῆλθόν σοι ἐν ὀδύνῃ καί λύπῃ καί στυγνότητι τῆς καρδίας μου, πεπωρωμένος ὤν καί τετραυματισμένος δεινῶς καί εἰς πέταυρον ᾅδου τῶν ἐμῶν ἀνομιῶν χαλεπῶς κείμενος. Πλήν ἀπό τοῦ νῦν λόγον σοι δίδωμι, Κύριε, ὅτι ἕως κελεύσεις εἶναί με ἐν τῷ βίῳ καί τούτῳ τῷ σώματι, οὐκ ἐγκαταλείψω σε, οὐδέ εἰς τά ὀπίσω στραφήσομαι, οὐκέτι ἅψομαι τῶν ματαίων καί πονηρῶν. Σύ δέ, ὁ Θεός μου, ἐπιγινώσκεις μου τήν ἀσθένειαν, τήν ταλαιπωρίαν, τήν ὀλιγοψυχίαν μου καί τάς μελλούσας με τυραννεῖν καί ἐκθλίβειν προλήψεις. Βοήθησόν μοι, προσπίπτω σοι, καί μή ἐγκαταλίπῃς με, μηδέ ἐπί πολύ καταγελᾶσθαί με ἐάσῃς καί καταπαίζεσθαι ὑπό τοῦ ἐχθροῦ, τόν ἀπό τοῦ παρόντος δοῦλον σόν, ἀγαθέ".

Ταῦτα τοίνυν δι᾿ ὅλης τῆς ἡμέρας διαλογίζεσθαι καί βούλεσθαι ὀφείλει ἐν ἑαυτῷ ὁ ἄρτι τόν κόσμον ἀποφυγών καί μετανοῆσαι προθυμηθείς, ἀδελφοί, ὁ μαθεῖν βουληθείς τήν τέχνην ταύτην τῶν τεχνῶν τῆς ἐναγωνίου ζωῆς καί ἀσκήσεως, καί διά τοῦτο πρός τό στάδιον τῆς ἀθλήσεως αὐτῆς εἰσελθών. ∆ιό καί (389) πρός τοιοῦτον ποιήσομαι τήν παραίνεσιν, εἴπου καί μέσον ἡμῶν ἕστηκε καί τά