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thirsts to hear more laborious things from us and hastens to begin the work of true repentance.
In addition, then, to what has been said, beloved, do not partake of food until evening. In the evening, having entered into the cell, sit upon your bed and having considered within yourself all that has been said, give thanks first that you were deemed worthy to reach the end of the day and the beginning of the night. Then, understand yourself and remember how much you have sinned against God who made you and for how many years He has been long-suffering with you, allowing you to live and granting you all things for the enjoyment of the body, I mean food and drink, clothing and coverings and this very cell to sit in, and He was not angered, He did not turn away from you because of your sins, nor did He hand you over to death or to demons to destroy you. Therefore, having remembered all these things well, rise and placing the mat on the ground and a small stone for a pillow, prepare the bed on which you are about to recline.
And listen! I suggest to you also another way of truly fervent repentance, which will quickly procure for you tears and compunction, and especially if you are someone stony of heart and slow to mourning and without compunction. But let what I am about to advise you not appear to you strange and unusual for the faithful, without examination.
For the one who has kept himself unstained for God after baptism and has preserved the image incorrupt for the one who made and formed him, needs nothing else (390) for restoration among those who stand, being in God. But the one who after this has defiled himself with unseemly and lawless deeds and has profligately made the temple of his body, I mean the house of God, a house of pleasures and passions and demons, not only needs the way of repentance I am about to tell and advise you, but also many other methods and contrivances of repentance in order to propitiate God and to call back to himself that which he lost through his sinful life, the divine dignity. And let the discourse "On Repentance" of the Ladder of John, the divine father, containing many such things, persuade you.
What, then, is the way of repentance, which I, advising you paternally, suggest, listen without being scandalized and with understanding, brother. Therefore, after preparing, as has been said, the mat of the bed on which you are about to recline, stand for prayer as one condemned. First, say the Trisagion, then say the Our Father; and saying this, remember who you are and what sort of Father you are calling upon. And when you come to say the Lord have mercy and wish to stretch out your hands to the height of heaven, looking up to it with your perceptible eyes and paying attention to them and gathering yourself in your mind, remember your wicked deeds, and how much you have sinned through them and what sort of deeds, perhaps shameful, you have touched through them, and be afraid, saying within yourself: "Woe to me, the unclean and defiled! Lest God, seeing me shamelessly spreading my hands before Him, remember my lawless deeds, which I committed through them, and send fire against me and destroy me". Therefore, turning them behind you (391) and binding them, as one being led to death, groaning from the depth of your soul say with a pitiable voice: "Have mercy on me, the sinner and unworthy to live, but truly worthy of all punishment," and whatever else the grace of God may grant you to say. And remembering your sinful deeds, strike yourself forcefully and unsparingly, saying: "How have you done such and such things, you wicked and wretched one?" and again stretch your hands and stand praying to God. Then strike your face again, pull your hair, dragging it, as if of some stranger and an enemy who has plotted against you, and say: "Why
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ἐπιπονώτερα παρ᾿ ἡμῶν ἀκοῦσαι διψᾷ καί τοῦ ἔργου ἐπείγεται τῆς ἀληθινῆς μετανοίας ἀπάρξασθαι.
Πρός γοῦν τοῖς εἰρημένοις, ἀγαπητέ, μηδέ τροφῆς μεταλάβῃς ἕως ἑσπέρας. Ἑσπέρας δέ εἰσελθών ἐν τῷ κελλίῳ, κάθισον ἐπί τῆς κλίνης σου καί ἅπαντα τά εἰρημένα ἐν σεαυτῷ ἀναλογισάμενος εὐχαρίστησον ἐν πρώτοις ὅτι φθάσαι κατηξιώθης τό τέλος τῆς ἡμέρας καί τήν ἀρχήν τῆς νυκτός. Εἶτα κατανόησον σεαυτόν καί ἐνθυμήθητι ὅσα ἥμαρτες τῷ ποιήσαντί σε Θεῷ καί πόσα ἔτη ἐμακροθύμησεν ἐπί σοί, ἐάσας σε ζῆν καί χαρισάμενός σοι ἅπαντα τά πρός ἀπόλαυσιν τοῦ σώματος, τροφήν λέγω καί πόσιν, ἐνδύματα καί σκεπάσματα καί αὐτήν τήν κέλλαν καθίσαι, καί οὐκ ὠργίσθη, οὐκ ἀπεστράφη σε διά τάς ἁμαρτίας σου, οὐδέ τῷ θανάτῳ ἤ τοῖς δαίμοσιν παραδέδωκε τοῦ ὀλέσαι σε. Τούτων οὖν ἁπάντων ἀναμνημονεύσας καλῶς, ἀνάστα καί τό ψιάθιον θείς ἐπί γῆς καί μικρόν τινα λίθον εἰς προσκεφάλαιον, προευτρέπισον τήν κοίτην ἐν ᾗ μέλλεις ἀνακλιθῆναι.
Καί ἄκουσον! Ὑποτίθητί σοι καί ἕτερον τρόπον θερμῆς ὡς ἀληθῶς μετανοίας, πρόξενόν σοι γενόμενον διά τάχους δακρύων καί κατανύξεως, καί μάλιστα εἰ λιθώδης τις εἶ τῇ καρδίᾳ καί πρός πένθος βραδύς καί ἀκατάνυκτος. Ἀλλά μή παράδοξόν σοι καί ἀσύνηθες τοῖς πσιτοῖς, ὅ μέλλω σοι συμβουλεύσασθαι, ἀβασανίστως καταφανῇ.
Ὁ μέν γάρ ἑαυτόν φυλάξας μετά τό βάπτισμα ἄσπιλον τῷ Θεῷ καί τό κατ᾿ εἰκόνα διατηρήσας τῷ ποιήσαντι καί πλάσαντι ἄχραντον, οὐδενός ἑτέρου (390) πρός ἀνάκλησιν ἐπιδεηθῇ τῶν ἱσταμένων, τυγχάνων ἐν τῷ Θεῷ. Ὁ δέ μολύνας ἑαυτόν μετά τοῦτο πράξεσιν ἀτόποις καί ἀνομίαις καί τόν ναόν τοῦ σώματος αὐτοῦ, τόν οἶκόν φημι τοῦ Θεοῦ, οἶκον ἡδονῶν καί παθῶν καί δαιμόνων ἀσώτως ἀπεργασάμενος, οὐ μόνον οὗ μέλλω εἰπεῖν σοι καί συμβουλεύσασθαι τρόπου πρός μετάνοιαν χρῄζει, ἀλλά καί ἑτέρων μεθόδων πολλῶν καί ἐπινοῶν μετανοίας εἰς τό ἐξιλεώσασθαι τόν Θεόν καί ἀνακαλέσασθαι πρός ἑαυτόν, ὅπερ διά τῆς ἐφαμάρτου ζωῆς ἀπώλεσε, θεῖον ἀξίωμα. Καί πειθέτω σε τοιαῦτα πολλά περιέχων ὁ "Περί μετανοίας" λόγος τῆς Κλίμακος Ἰωάννου, τοῦ θείου πατρός.
Τίς δέ ἐστιν ὁ τρόπος, ὅν σοι πατρικῶς συμβουλεύων ὑποτίθημι, τῆς μετανοίας, ἄκουσον ἀσκανδαλίστως καί συνετῶς, ἀδελφέ. Μετά γοῦν τό προευτρεπίσαι, ὥσπερ εἴρηται, τό τῆς κοίτης ψιάθιον ἐν ᾗ μέλλεις ἀνακλιθῆναι, στῆθι εἰς προσευχήν ὡς κατάκριτος. Ποίησον ἐν πρώτοις Τρισάγιον, εἶτα εἶπον τό Πάτερ ἡμῶν· καί τοῦτο λέγων μνήσθητι τίς ὤν ὁποῖον καί τίνα πατέρα καλεῖς. Ὅτε δέ εἰπεῖν ἔλθῃς τό Κύριε ἐλέησον καί ἐκτεῖναι θελήσῃς τάς χεῖράς σου εἰς τό ὕψος τοῦ οὐρανοῦ, πρός αὐτόν ἐμβλέψας τοῖς αἰσθητοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς καί προσχών αὐταῖς καί τῇ διανοίᾳ ἑαυτόν ἐπισυνάξας, μνήσθητι τῶν φαύλων σου ἔργων, καί ὅσα ἥμαρτες δι΄ αὐτῶν καί ὁποίων ποτέ ἥψω ἔργων ἴσως αἰσχρῶν δι᾿ αὐτῶν, καί φοβήθητι λέγων ἐν σεαυτῷ· "Οὐαί μοι τῷ ἀκαθάρτῳ καί μιαρῷ! Μήποτε ἰδών με ὁ Θεός τάς χεῖράς μου ἁπλοῦντα ἀναιδῶς ἔμπροσθεν αὐτοῦ μνησθῇ μου τῶν ἀνομιῶν, ὧν ἔπραξα δι᾿ αὐτῶν, καί πῦρ ἐκπέμψει κατ᾿ ἐμοῦ καί ἐκλείξει με". Στρέψας οὖν αὐτάς εἰς τά ὀπίσω (391) καί συνδήσας, ὡς ἐπί θάνατον ἀγόμενος, ἐκ βάθους στενάξας ψυχῆς εἶπον ἐλεεινῇ τῇ φωνῇ· "Ἐλέησόν με τόν ἁμαρτωλόν καί ἀνάξιον τοῦ ζῆν, ἄξιον δέ πάσης ὄντως κολάσεως" καί ἄλλα ὅσα ἡ τοῦ Θεοῦ χάρις δῴη σοι τοῦ εἰπεῖν. Ἀναμνημονεύων δέ τῶν ἐφαμάρτων σου πράξεων, τύπτε σφοδρῶς καί ἀφειδῶς σεαυτόν λέγων· "Πῶς τά καί τά, πονηρέ καί ἄθλιε, πέπραχας; " καί πάλιν στρέψον τάς χεῖρας καί ἵστασο δεόμενος τοῦ Θεοῦ. Εἶτα ῥάπιζε πάλιν τό πρώσωπόν σου, τίλλε τάς τρίχας σου, σύρων αὐτάς, ὡς ξένου τινός καί ἐπιβούλου σοι γεγονότος ἐχθροῦ, καί εἰπέ· "∆ιατί