155

He seems to have nothing at all, even if he has much gold, so indeed do I, the wretched one, seem to learn in this, that since I do not long as I wish, nor as much as I absolutely wish, I do not seem to long at all. (236) To long, therefore, as much as I wish is a longing beyond longing, and I do violence to my nature, to love beyond nature; but my nature, being weak, is also deprived of the very strength it possesses, and is mortified while paradoxically love is then more alive; for it lives and flourishes in me. How can I tell you, that it flourishes? I am at a loss for examples. But this alone I will tell you, that everyone is unable to express such things in words. May the only God, being also the true provider of such good things, grant to all who seek such things with repentance, to those who mourn and lament and are well purified, to enjoy such things, having come from here onward to share in them in perception, and to depart with them and in them to find rest and to enjoy eternal life and through them to be found partakers of the ineffable glory! Amen.

155

οὐ δοκεῖ τι ὅλως ἔχειν, κἄν πολύ χρυσίον ἔχῃ, οὕτω δή δοκῶ πανθάνειν ὁ ταλαίπωρος ἐν τούτῳ, ὅτι μή ποθῶ, ὡς θέλω, μηδέ ὅσον πάντως θέλω, οὐ δοκῶ ποθεῖν κἄν ὅλως. (236) Τό ποθεῖν οὖν ὅσον θέλω ὑπέρ πόθον πόθος ἔστι, καί βιάζω μου τήν φύσιν, ὑπέρ φύσιν ἀγαπῆσαι˙ ἀσθενοῦσα δέ ἡ φύσις καί αὐτῆς ἀποστερεῖται ἧσπερ κέκτηται ἰσχύος, καί νεκροῦται παραδόξως ζῶν ὁ ἔρως τότε μᾶλλον˙ ζῇ γάρ ἐν ἐμοί καί θάλλει. Πῶς σοι εἴπω, ὅτι θάλλει; Ἀπορῶ παραδειγμάτων. Τοῦτο μόνον δέ σοι φράσω, ὅτι λόγῳ τά τοιάδε πᾶς ἀδυνατεῖ ἐκφράζειν. ∆ῴη ἅπασιν ὁ μόνος Θεός ὤν καί τῶν τοιούτων, ἀγαθῶν ὑπάρχων ὄντως παροχεύς τοῖς ἐκζητοῦσι μετανοίᾳ τά τοιαῦτα, τοῖς πενθοῦσι καί θρηνοῦσι καί καλῶς καθαιρομένοις ἀπολαῦσαι τῶν τοιούτων, ἐν μεθέξει γενομένοις ἀπ᾿ ἐντεῦθεν ἐν αἰσθήσει καί συνεκδημῆσαι τούτοις καί ἐν τούτοις καταπαῦσαι καί ζωῆς ἐπαπολαῦσαι αἰωνίου καί τῆς δόξης κοινωνούς τῆς ἀπορρήτου διά τούτων εὑρεθῆναι! Ἄμήν.