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you who told me mystically that "I am." For I was unworthy and unclean, still having the ears of my soul stopped up with the clay of sin and my eyes held by unbelief and ignorance and the sensation and mist of the passions. And thus I saw you, my God; but not knowing nor having previously believed that God, insofar as it is possible to be seen, is seen by someone, I did not understand that what was shown to me now in this way, now in another, was God or the glory of God, but the unusual nature of the wonder astounded me, and it filled my whole soul and heart with joy, so that I thought that my very body was partaking of that ineffable grace. Yet I did not then clearly know who you, the one being seen, were. Meanwhile I saw light more often, sometimes within, when my soul enjoyed tranquility and peace, and sometimes it appeared somewhere far off outside, or was even completely hidden, and when it was hidden, it caused me unbearable affliction, as I reasoned that it would surely never appear again. But to me, as I lamented and wept again and showed every kind of exile and obedience and humility, it appeared like the sun, cutting through the thickness of the cloud and showing itself little by little, gentle and spherical. Thus then you, the ineffable, the invisible, (444) the intangible, the immovable, the one who is always everywhere and in all things present and filling all things, hour by hour, so to speak, by day and night being seen and hidden, departing and coming, becoming unseen and suddenly appearing, little by little you drove away the darkness in me, you dispelled the cloud, you thinned the thickness, you cleansed the rheum from my spiritual eyes, you unstopped and opened the ears of my mind, you removed the veil of insensibility, and along with these you put to sleep every passion and every carnal pleasure and completely banished them from me. Therefore, having made me such, you cleansed the heaven of every cloud; and by heaven I mean the purified soul in which, invisibly, I know not how or from where you come, you who are everywhere present are suddenly found and are revealed as another sun. O the ineffable condescension!
These are the wonders of God towards us, brothers! But as we ascend to the more perfect, no longer as before does the formless and unshaped One come formless or unshaped, nor does He effect the presence and arrival of His light to us in silence. But how? In some form, yet of God; but God is not in a shape or an image, but formed in an incomprehensible and ungraspable and formless light, he is shown as simple — for we can say or express nothing more — yet he is shown manifestly and is known very well and the invisible one is seen very clearly, he speaks and hears invisibly and, as a friend to a friend face to face, God by nature converses with the gods by grace born of him, and as a father he loves and is loved by his sons most fervently and becomes (445) for them a strange sight and a most awesome sound, which can neither be spoken of worthily by them, nor can it bear to be concealed in silence; ever being inflamed with longing for him and mystically instructed by him, they sometimes write lamenting the passions of others, and sometimes they triumph over their own failings. And sometimes, thankfully recounting the benefits and energies of grace that have come to them, they theologically hymn the one who divinely transformed them; and at other times, if they hear anything said contrary to and in error about our spiritual salvation, they correct this and write, according to the measure of knowledge given to them, presenting testimonies from the divine Scriptures, and they are not able to be silent at all or to have their fill of the narrative. In what way? Because they are no longer their own, but belong to the Spirit in them, who both moves them and is moved again by them, and all that you hear said in the divine Scriptures about the kingdom of heaven becomes in them: pearl, mustard seed, leaven, water, fire, bread, drink of life, a living and leaping spring,
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ᾖς εἰπών μοι μυστικῶς ὅτι "Ἐγώ εἰμι". Ἀνάξιος γάρ ἐτύγχανον καί ἀκάθαρτος, ἔτι τά ὦτα τῆς ψυχῆς ἐμπεφραγμένα τῷ τῆς ἁμαρτίας ἔχων πηλῷ καί τούς ὀφθαλμούς μου κεκρατημένους ὑπό ἀπιστίας καί ἀγνοίας καί τῆς τῶν παθῶν αἰσθήσεως καί ἀχλύος. Καί σέ μέν οὕτω τόν Θεόν μου ἑώρων· μή εἰδώς δέ μηδέ προπεπιστευκώς ὅτι Θεός, καθ᾿ ὅσον οἷόν τε ὁρᾶσθαι, ὁρᾶταί τινι, οὐκ ἐνενόουν ὅτι Θεός ἤ Θεοῦ δόξα ἐστί τό ποτέ μεν οὕτω μοι ποτέ δέ ἄλλως δεικνύμενον, ἀλλά τό μέν ἀσύνηθες κατέπληττέ με τοῦ θαύματος, χαρᾶς δέ ὅλην μου τήν ψυχήν ἐπλήρου καί τήν καρδίαν, ὡς καί αὐτό μου οἴεσθαί με τό σῶμα μεταλαμβάνειν τῆς χάριτος τῆς ἀφάτου ἐκείνης. Οὔπω δέ τό τίς ᾖς ὁ ὁρώμενος τρανῶς τότε ἐγίνωσκον. Τέως ἑώρων συχνότερον φῶς, ποτέ μέν ἔνδον, ὅτε γαλήνης καί εἰρήνης ἡ ψυχή μου ἀπήλαυε, ποτέ δέ ἔξω που μακράν ἐφαίνετο ἤ καί τελείως ἐκρύπτετο καί κρυπτόμενον θλῖψίν μοι ἐνεποίει ἀφόρητον, λογιζομένου μου ὡς οὐκέτι πάντως φανήσεται. Ἀλλά μοι πάλιν θρηνοῦντι καί κλαίοντι καί πᾶσαν ἐνδεικνυμένῳ ξενιτείαν καί ὑπακοήν καί ταπείνωσιν ἐπεφαίνετο ὥσπερ ὁ ἥλιος, τό πάχος τοῦ νέφους διατέμνων καί κατά μικρόν προσηνής καί σφαιροειδής ἐνδεικνύμενος. Οὕτως οὖν ὁ ἄφραστος σύ, ὁ ἀόρατος, (444) ὁ ἀναφής, ὁ ἀκίνητος, ὁ πανταχοῦ ἀεί καί ἐν πᾶσι παρών καί τά πάντα πληρῶν, καθ᾿ ὥραν, ἵν᾿ εἴπω, ἐν ἡμέρᾳ τε καί νυκτί ὁρώμενος καί κρυπτόμενος, ἀπιών καί ἐρχόμενος, γινόμενος ἀφανής καί αἴφνης φαινόμενος, κατά μικρόν μικρόν τό σκότος ἐν ἐμοί ἀπεδίωξας, τό νέφος ἀπήλασας, τό πάχος ἐλέπτυνας, τήν λήμην τῶν νοερῶν ὀφθαλμῶν ἀπεκάθηρας, τά ὦτα τῆς διανοίας ἀπέφραξας καί διήνοιξας, τῆς ἀναισθησίας περιῆρας τό κάλυμμα, σύν τούτοις πᾶν πάθος και πᾶσαν σαρκικήν ἡδονήν κατεκοίμησας καί τέλεον ἀπ᾿ ἐμοῦ ἐξώρισας. Τοιγαροῦν καί τοιοῦτόν με ἀπεργασάμενος, τόν οὐρανόν παντός νέφους ἐκάθηρας· οὐρανόν δέ λέγω τήν καθαρθεῖσαν ψυχήν ἐν ᾗ ἀοράτως, οὐκ οἶδ᾿ ὅπως ἤ πόθεν ἐρχόμενος, ὁ πανταχοῦ παρών αἴφνης εὑρίσκῃ καί ὡς ἄλλος ἥλιος ἀναδείκνυσαι. Βαβαί τῆς ἀφράστου συγκαταβάσεως!
Ταῦτα πρός ἡμᾶς τοῦ Θεοῦ τά θαυμάσια, ἀδελφοί! Ἀνερχομένων δέ ἡμῶν ἐπί τό τελεώτερον, οὐκέτι ὡς τό πρότερον ἄμορφος ἤ ἀνείδεος ὁ ἄμορφος καί ἀνείδεος ἔρχεται ἤ τήν παρουσίαν καί ἄφιξιν τοῦ φωτός αὐτοῦ σιωπῇ πρός ἡμᾶς ἀπεργάζεται. Ἀλλά πῶς; Ἐν μορφῇ τινι, πλήν Θεοῦ· Θεός δέ οὐκ ἐν σχήματι ἤ ἐκτυπώματι, ἀλλ᾿ ἐν ἀκατανοήτῳ καί ἀμηχάνῳ καί ἀμόρφῳ μεμορφωμένος φωτί ἁπλοῦς δείκνυται - οὐδέν γάρ πλέον εἰπεῖν ἤ ἐκφράσαι δυνάμεθα , τέως ἐμφανῶς δείκνυται καί γνωρίζεται πάνυ γνωστῶς καί λίαν ὁρᾶται τρανῶς ὁ ἀόρατος, ἀοράτως λαλεῖ καί ἀκούει καί, ὡς εἴ τις φίλος πρός φίλον ἐνώπιος ἐνωπίῳ, προσομιλεῖ ὁ φύσει Θεός τοῖς κατά χάριν ἐξ αὐτοῦ γεννηθεῖσι θεοῖς, καί ὡς πατήρ ἀγαπᾷ καί παρά τῶν υἱῶν φιλεῖται ἄγαν θερμῶς καί γίνεται (445) τούτοις ξένον θέαμα καί φρικτότερον ἄκουσμα, μήτε λαλεῖσθαι παρ᾿ αὐτῶν ἀξίως δυνάμενον, μήτε σιωπῇ συγκαλύπτεσθαι ἀνεχόμενον· οὗ τῷ πόθῳ ἀεί ἀναπτόμενοι καί μυστικῶς παρ᾿ αὐτοῦ ἐνηχούμενοι, ποτέ μέν περί τῶν ἀλλοτρίων παθῶν ἀποδυρόμενοι γράφουσι, ποτέ δέ τά ἑαυτῶν θριαμβεύουσι πταίσματα. Καί ποτέ μέν, τάς εἰς αὐτούς γενομένας εὐεργεσίας καί ἐνεργείας τῆς χάριτος εὐχαρίστως ἐκδιηγούμενοι, θεολογικῶς ἀνυμνοῦσι τόν θεουργικῶς αὐτούς ἀλλοιώσαντα· ποτέ δέ, εἴ τι ἐναντίως καί ἐσφαλμένως λεγόμενον περί τῆς ψυχικῆς σωτηρίας ἡμῶν ἀκούσωσι, κατά τό δοθέν αὐτοῖς μέτρον τῆς γνώσεως διορθούμενοι, τοῦτο γράφουσι, τάς μαρτυρίας ἀπό τῶν θείων παριστῶντες Γραφῶν καί ἠρεμεῖν ὅλως ἤ κόρον τῆς διηγήσεως λαβεῖν οὐκ ἰσχύουσι. Τίνα τρόπον; Ἐπειδή οὐκέτι ἑαυτῶν, ἀλλά τοῦ ἐν αὐτοῖς εἰσι Πνεύματος, οὕς καί κινεῖ καί ὑπ᾿ αὐτῶν πάλιν κινεῖται αὐτό, καί γίνεται ἐν αὐτοῖς πάντα ὅσα ἐν ταῖς θείαις ἀκούεις Γραφαῖς περί τῆς βασιλείας τῶν οὐρανῶν λεγόμενα, μαργαρίτης, κόκκος σινάπεως, ζύμη, ὕδωρ, πῦρ, ἄρτος, πόμα ζωῆς, πηγή ζῶσά τε καί ἁλλομένη,