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For since your divine light illuminated all things and me, the wretched one, and made the night like a most brilliant day, you deemed me worthy to see him awesomely in the very height of your Godhead, as in heaven, standing near your divine glory, not having adorned him with any crown, not with a brilliant garment, not with a changed appearance, but just as he was, living with us and seen every day on earth, you showed him to me as such in heaven. For what reason? So that I might not think that this one, who was with us, was one person, and that the one who appeared to me there was another, and that, having gone astray, I, the lost sheep, might wander away from the good shepherd.
But indeed, not even in this miracle that happened did I, the wretched one, understand, but having been stolen away little by little by negligence and carelessness, I fell into my former evils or even worse ones. But you, O compassionate and long-suffering King, did not turn away from me even so, but through the saint himself you turned me back and deemed me worthy to fall at his holy feet, with your mighty hand and your upraised arm having led me out of the deceptive world and from the affairs and pleasures of the world, and having separated me from all things both bodily and at the same time spiritually, O the wonder, O your love and sympathy toward us, O man-loving God, you placed me in the rank of those who serve you. After these things, therefore, O Master, not only have you given me the forgiveness of my unutterable (442) evils, but also all the aforementioned good things through the intercessions of your saint, or rather, you yourself have become all things to me.
For when you had tabernacled in him and were shining forth with the light of divine glory, when I, having approached him in repentance and faith and grasped his feet, immediately perceived a divine warmth, then a small dawning brightness, then a divine in-breathing from his words, then from this a fire in the heart, gushing forth through tears in unending streams, then a fine ray passing through my mind swifter than lightning, then like a light in the night and like a small and flame-like cloud it appeared to me, settling upon my head, as I lay on my face and made my prayer. Then it flew away and not long after it was seen by me in heaven.
Then as I was considering what the vision was, something else happens, more paradoxical than all these things. For in my sleep, when I was being tempted by the evil demons and was being dragged by a contrivance toward the passion of an emission, and as I resisted for help, I awoke, having escaped unharmed from the hands of the tempters. But as I was marveling to myself at the resistance and the courage, or rather my immovability toward the passion, and as I was reasoning, "From where has this unusual victory-trophy come, so that even while sleeping I fight back and become stronger than my adversaries and enemies and conquer them utterly with a paradoxical victory through Christ?" O the wonder, immediately I saw within me the one whom I thought to be in heaven, I mean you, my Creator and King, Christ, (443) and then I knew the victory to be yours, with which you made me conquer the devil.
But nevertheless I did not yet know, O Master, that it was you, who formed me from clay, who granted me all these good things. I did not yet know that you yourself were my humble God and Lord. For I had not yet been deemed worthy to hear your voice, so that I might recognize you, you had not yet said to me mystically, "I am." For I was unworthy and unclean, still having the ears of my soul blocked with the mud of sin and my eyes held fast by unbelief and ignorance and by the perception and mist of the passions. And thus indeed I was seeing you, my God; but not knowing nor having believed beforehand that God, insofar as it is possible to be seen, is seen by someone, I did not understand that it is God or the glory of God that
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Τοῦ φωτός σου γάρ τοῦ θεϊκοῦ τά πάντα κἀμέ τόν τάλανα καταφωτίσαντος καί τήν νύκτα ὡς ἡμέραν φαεινοτάτην ποιήσαντος, ἐν αὐτῷ με τῷ ὕψει τῆς σῆς Θεότητος ὡς ἐν οὐρανῷ φρικτῶς ἰδεῖν αὐτόν κατηξίωσας, τῆς θεϊκῆς σου δόξης πλησίον ἱστάμενον, οὐ στεφάνῳ τινί, οὐκ ἐνδύματι φαεινῷ, οὐκ ἐνηλλαγμένη θεωρίᾳ κοσμήσας αὐτόν, ἀλλ᾿ οἷος ἦν συνδιάγων ἡμῖν καί ὁρώμενος καθ᾿ ἑκάστην ἐπί τῆς γῆς, τοιοῦτόν μοι αὐτόν καθυπέδειξας ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ. Τίνα τρόπον; Ἵνα μή ἕτερον εἶναι τοῦτον, τόν σύν ἡμῖν, καί ἄλλον τόν ἐκεῖ μοι ὀφθέντα λογίσωμαι καί ἀποπλανηθείς τοῦ καλοῦ ποιμένος ἀστοχήσω, τό ἀπολωλός ἐγώ πρόβατον.
Ἀλλά γάρ οὐδέ ἐν τούτῳ τῷ γεγονότι θαύματι συνῆκα ὁ ἄθλιος, ῥᾳθυμίᾳ δέ καί ὀλιγωρίᾳ κατ᾿ ὀλίγον κλαπείς, τοῖς προτέροις κακοῖς ἤ καί χείροσι περιέπεσον. Σύ δέ, Βασιλεῦ εὔσπλαχνε καί μακρόθυμε, οὐδέ οὔτω με ἀπεστράφης, ἀλλά δι᾿ αὐτοῦ με τοῦ ἁγίου ἐπέστρεψας καί εἰς τούς ἁγίους αὐτοῦ προσπεσεῖν πόδας με κατηξίωσας, τῇ κραταιᾷ σου χειρί καί τῷ βραχίονί σου τῷ ὑψηλῷ ἐξάξας ἀπό τοῦ πλάνου κόσμου καί τῶν τοῦ κόσμου πραγμάτων καί ἡδονῶν καί ἀποχωρήσας με πάντων σωματικῶς τε ἅμα καί ψυχικῶς, ὤ τοῦ θαύματος, ὤ τῆς πρός ἡμᾶς ἀγάπης καί συμπαθείας σου τοῦ φιλανθρώπου Θεοῦ, ἔστησας ἐν τῇ τάξει τῶν δουλευόντων σοι. Μετά ταῦτα οὖν, ∆έσποτα, οὐ μόνον τῶν ἀμυθήτων (442) μου κακῶν τήν συγχώρησιν, ἀλλά καί τά προειρημένα ἅπαντα ἀγαθά ταῖς τοῦ ἁγίου σου πρεσβείαις μοι δέδωκας, μᾶλλον δέ αὐτός πάντα μοι γέγονας.
Προσκηνώσαντός σου γάρ ἐν ἐκείνῳ καί τῷ φωτί τῆς θεϊκῆς δόξης ἐκλάμποντος, πλησιάσας αὐτῷ ἐν μετανοίᾳ καί πίστει τούς ἐκείνου πόδας κρατήσας, ἐγώ εὐθύς θείας ᾐσθόμην θερμότητος, εἶτα μικρᾶς αὐγαζούσης λαμπρότητος, εἶτα θείου ἀπό τῶν ἐκείνου λόγων ἐμφυσήματος, εἶτα πυρός ἐκ τούτου ἐγκαρδίου διά δακρύων βλύζοντος ῥεῖθρα ἀένναα, εἶτα ἀκτῖνος ἐν τῷ νοΐ μου λεπτῆς ταχύτερον ἀστραπῆς διελθούσης, εἶτα ὡς φῶς ἐν νυκτί καί ὡς νεφέλη ἐφάνη μοι μικρά καί φλογοειδής ἐπί τῆς κεφαλῆς μου καθίσασα, κειμένου μου ἐπί πρόσωπον καί ποιουμένου τήν δέησιν. Εἶτα ἀπέπτη καί μετ᾿ οὐ πολύ ὤφθη μοι ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ.
Εἶτα ἀναλογιζόμενος τό ὁρώμενον εἶναι, ἕτερόν τι ὑπέρ ταῦτα πάντα παραδοξότερον γίνεται. Κατά τούς ὕπνους γάρ ὑπό τῶν πονηρῶν δαιμόνων πειραζομένου μου καί πρός πάθος ῥεύσεως διά μηχανῆς ἑλκομένου μου καί ἀνθισταμένου μου εἰς βοήθειαν, ἔξυπνος γέγονα, τῶν πειραζόντων τάς χεῖρας ἀβλαβής ἐκφυγών. Ὡς δέ καθ᾿ ἑαυτόν τήν ἔνστασιν καί τήν ἀνδρείαν, μᾶλλον δέ τήν ἀκινησίαν μου πρός τό πάθος ἐθαύμαζον, καί "Πόθεν τοῦτο ἀσυνήθως"μοῦ λογιζομένου, "τό τρόπαιον γέγονεν, ἵνα καί κοιμώμενος ἀντιμάχωμαι καί ἰσχυρότερος τῶν ἀντιπάλων καί ἐχθρῶν μου γίνωμαι καί κατά κράτος αὐτούς νίκην νικῶ παραδόξως διά Χριστοῦ; "ὤ τοῦ θαύματος, εὐθύς ὅν ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ εἶναι ἐνόμιζον ἐντός μου τοῦτον εἶδον, σέ λέγω τόν ἐμόν ∆ημιουργόν καί Βασιλέα Χριστόν, (443) καί τότε ἔγνων εἶναι σήν τήν νίκην, ἥν με νενικηκέναι ἐποίησας τόν διάβολον.
Ἀλλ᾿ ὅμως οὔπω ἐγίνωσκον, ∆έσποτα, ὅτι σύ ᾖς, ὁ ἀπό πηλοῦ πλάσας με, ταῦτά μοι πάντα χαρισάμενος τά καλά. Οὔπω ἔγνων ὅτι αὐτός σύ ὑπῆρχες ὁ ἀνυπερήφανος Θεός μου καί Κύριος. Οὔπω γάρ φωνῆς σου ἠξιώθην ἀκοῦσαι, ἵνα γνωρίσω σε, οὔπω ᾖς εἰπών μοι μυστικῶς ὅτι "Ἐγώ εἰμι". Ἀνάξιος γάρ ἐτύγχανον καί ἀκάθαρτος, ἔτι τά ὦτα τῆς ψυχῆς ἐμπεφραγμένα τῷ τῆς ἁμαρτίας ἔχων πηλῷ καί τούς ὀφθαλμούς μου κεκρατημένους ὑπό ἀπιστίας καί ἀγνοίας καί τῆς τῶν παθῶν αἰσθήσεως καί ἀχλύος. Καί σέ μέν οὕτω τόν Θεόν μου ἑώρων· μή εἰδώς δέ μηδέ προπεπιστευκώς ὅτι Θεός, καθ᾿ ὅσον οἷόν τε ὁρᾶσθαι, ὁρᾶταί τινι, οὐκ ἐνενόουν ὅτι Θεός ἤ Θεοῦ δόξα ἐστί τό