Chapter XXX.—Of the Perverse Images of Dreams, Which He Wishes to Have Taken Away.

41. Verily, Thou commandest that I should be continent from the “lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.”760    1 John ii. 16. Dilating on Ps. viii. he makes these three roots of sin to correspond to the threefold nature of our Lord’s temptation in the wilderness. See also p. 80, note 5, above. Thou hast commanded me to abstain from concubinage; and as to marriage itself, Thou hast advised something better than Thou hast allowed. And because Thou didst give it, it was done; and that before I became a dispenser of Thy sacrament. But there still exist in my memory—of which I have spoken much—the images of such things as my habits had fixed there; and these rush into my thoughts, though strengthless, when I am awake; but in sleep they do so not only so as to give pleasure, but even to obtain consent, and what very nearly resembles reality.761    In Augustin’s view, then, dreams appear to result from our thoughts and feelings when awake. In this he has the support of Aristotle (Ethics, i. 13), as also that of Solomon, who says (Eccles. v. 3), “A dream cometh through the multitude of business.” An apt illustration of this is found in the life of the great Danish sculptor, Thorwaldsen. It is said that he could not satisfy himself with his models for The Christ, in the Frauenkirche at Copenhagen,—as Da Vinci before him was never able to paint the face of the Christ in His noble fresco of the Last Supper,—and that it was only in consequence of a dream (that dream doubtless the result of his stedfast search for an ideal) that this great work was accomplished. But see Ep. clix. Yea, to such an extent prevails the illusion of the image, both in my soul and in my flesh, that the false persuade me, when sleeping, unto that which the true are not able when waking. Am I not myself at that time, O Lord my God? And there is yet so much difference between myself and myself, in that instant wherein I pass back from waking to sleeping, or return from sleeping to waking! Where, then, is the reason which when waking resists such suggestions? And if the things themselves be forced on it, I remain unmoved. Is it shut up with the eyes? Or is it put to sleep with the bodily senses? But whence, then, comes it to pass, that even in slumber we often resist, and, bearing our purpose in mind, and continuing most chastely in it, yield no assent to such allurements? And there is yet so much difference that, when it happeneth otherwise, upon awaking we return to peace of conscience; and by this same diversity do we discover that it was not we that did it, while we still feel sorry that in some way it was done in us.

42. Is not Thy hand able, O Almighty God, to heal all the diseases of my soul,762    Ps. ciii. 3. and by Thy more abundant grace to quench even the lascivious motions of my sleep? Thou wilt increase in me, O Lord, Thy gifts more and more, that my soul may follow me to Thee, disengaged from the bird-lime of concupiscence; that it may not be in rebellion against itself, and even in dreams not simply not, through sensual images, commit those deformities of corruption, even to the pollution of the flesh, but that it may not even consent unto them. For it is no great thing for the Almighty, who is “able to do . . . above all that we ask or think,”763    Eph. iii. 20. to bring it about that no such influence—not even so slight a one as a sign might restrain—should afford gratification to the chaste affection even of one sleeping; and that not only in this life, but at my present age. But what I still am in this species of my ill, have I confessed unto my good Lord; rejoicing with trembling764    Ps. ii. 11. in that which Thou hast given me, and bewailing myself for that wherein I am still imperfect; trusting that Thou wilt perfect Thy mercies in me, even to the fulness of peace, which both that which is within and that which is without765    See note 4, p. 140, above. shall have with Thee, when death is swallowed up in victory.766    1 Cor. xv. 54.

CAPUT XXX. Confitetur ut se habet ad tentationes carnalis libidinis.

41. Jubes certe ut contineam a concupiscentia carnis, et concupiscentia oculorum, et ambitione saeculi (Joan. II, 16). Jussisti a concubitu; et de ipso conjugio melius aliquid quam concessisti monuisti. Et quoniam dedisti, factum est et antequam dispensator sacramenti tui fierem. Sed adhuc vivunt in memoria mea, de qua multa locutus sum, talium rerum imagines, quas ibi consuetudo mea fixit; et occursant mihi vigilanti quidem carentes viribus, in somnis autem non solum usque ad delectationem, sed etiam usque ad consensionem factumque simillimum. Et tantum valet imaginis illusio in anima mea et in carne mea, ut dormienti falsa visa persuadeant quod vigilanti vera non possunt. Numquid tunc ego non sum, Domine Deus meus? Et tamen tantum interest inter meipsum et meipsum, intra momentum quo hinc ad soporem transeo, vel huc inde retranseo! Ubi est tunc ratio, quae talibus suggestionibus resistit vigilans? Et si res ipsae ingerantur, inconcussus maneo . Numquid clauditur cum oculis? numquid sopitur cum sensibus corporis? Et unde saepe etiam in somnis resistimus, nostrique propositi memores, atque in eo castissime permanentes, nullum talibus illecebris adhibemus assensum? Et tamen tantum interest, ut cum aliter accidit, evigilantes ad conscientiae requiem redeamus; 0797 ipsaque distantia reperiamus nos non fecisse, quod tamen in nobis quoquo modo factum esse doleamus.

42. Numquid non potens est manus tua, Deus omnipotens, sanare omnes languores animae meae, atque abundantiore gratia tua lascivos motus etiam mei soporis exstinguere? Augebis, Domine, magis magisque in me munera tua, ut anima mea sequatur me ad te, concupiscentiae visco expedita, ut non sit rebellis sibi, atque ut in somnis etiam, non solum non perpetret istas corruptelarum turpitudines per imagines animales usque ad carnis fluxum, sed ne consentiat quidem. Nam ut nihil tale vel tantillum libeat, quantulum possit nutu cohiberi, etiam in casto dormientis affectu, non tantum in hac vita, sed etiam in hac aetate, non magnum est omnipotenti, qui vales facere supra quam petimus et intelligimus (Ephes. III, 20). Nunc tamen quid adhuc sim in hoc genere mali mei, dixi Domino bono meo, exsultans cum tremore (Psal. II, 11) in eo quod donasti mihi, et lugens in eo quod inconsummatus sum, sperans perfecturum te in me misericordias tuas usque ad pacem plenariam, quam tecum habebunt interiora et exteriora mea, cum absorpta fuerit mors in victoriam (I Cor. XV, 54).