The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter

 Table of Contents

 ILLUSTRATIONS

 THE SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS ARBITER VOLUME I. ADVENTURES OF ENCOLPIUS AND HIS COMPANIONS

 CHAPTER THE FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE TENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ELEVENTH.

 (Ascyltos was for going to Naples that same day, but I protested the imprudence of going to any place where they would be on the lookout for us. Let'

 CHAPTER THE TWELFTH.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE FOURTEENTH.

 But, with the exception of a two-as piece with which we had intended purchasing peas and lupines, there was nothing to hand so, for fear our loot sho

 CHAPTER THE FIFTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTEENTH.

 Then she suddenly clapped her hands, and broke into such a peal of laughter that we were alarmed. The maid, who had been the first to arrive, did like

 CHAPTER THE NINETEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.

 When he had finished his poetry, he slobbered a most evil-smelling kiss upon me, and then, climbing upon my couch, he proceeded with all his might and

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.

 VOLUME II.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.

 NO SLAVE TO LEAVE THE PREMISES

 In the vestibule stood the porter, clad in green and girded with a cherry-colored belt, shelling peas into a silver dish. Above the threshold was susp

 CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.

 BEWARE THE DOG.

 My companions laughed, but I plucked up my courage and did not hesitate, but went on and examined the entire wall. There was a scene in a slave market

 CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.

 TO GAIUS POMPEIUS TRIMALCHIO

 A double lamp, suspended from the ceiling, hung beneath the inscription, and a tablet was fixed to each door-post one, if my memory serves me, was in

 ON DECEMBER THIRTIETH AND

 the other bore a painting of the moon in her phases, and the seven planets, and the days which were lucky and those which were unlucky, distinguished

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FOURTH.

 OPIMIAN FALERNIAN

 While we were studying the labels, Trimalchio clapped his hands and cried, Ah me! To think that wine lives longer than poor little man. Let's fill 'e

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SIXTH.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-EIGHTH.

 CAIUS POMPONIUS DIOGENES HAS

 What do you think of the fellow in the freedman's place? He has a good front, too, hasn't he? And he has a right to. He saw his fortune multiplied te

 JULIUS PROCULUS WILL SELL AT

 CHAPTER THE THIRTY-NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE FORTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-SIXTH

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE FORTY-NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-FIFTH.

 This epigram led up to a discussion of the poets, and for a long time, the greatest praise was bestowed upon Mopsus the Thracian, until Trimalchio bro

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-SIXTH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE FIFTY-NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-SIXTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE SIXTY-NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-FIRST.

 --THIS MONUMENT DOES NOT--

 In any case, I'll see to it through a clause in my will, that I'm not insulted when I'm dead. And for fear the rabble comes running up into my monume

 HERE RESTS G POMPEIUS TRIMALCHIO

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-SIXTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-EIGHTH.

 VOLUME III.

 CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-NINTH.

 But my self-congratulation was premature, for I was overcome with wine, and when my unsteady hands relaxed their hold, Ascyltos, that never-failing we

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-SIXTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE NINTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-FIRST.

 (And furthermore, I went on), I was not the one that laid the cause of our love before another judge, but I will complain no more, I will remember

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-SECOND.

 (Our philosopher began to moralize, when he had gorged himself, leveling many critical shafts at those who hold every-day things in contempt, esteemin

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-THIRD.

 Is this the way in which you keep your promise not to recite a single verse today? I demanded bear in mind your promise and spare us, at least, fo

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-FOURTH.

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-SIXTH.

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-EIGHTH.

 VOLUME IV.

 CHAPTER THE NINETY-NINTH.

 (To me, this advice seemed both sound and practical, because it would free me from any annoyance by Ascyltos, and because it gave promise of a happier

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDREDTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTH.

 Still, what's to prevent our searching the ship? said Lycas, after he had expiated Tryphaena's dream, so that we will not be guilty of neglecting t

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTH.

 (Lycas, as he perceived that Tryphaena was as eager as himself for revenge, gave orders for our punishment to be renewed and made more drastic, whereu

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWELFTH.

 But why should I keep you longer in suspense? The lady observed the same abstinence when it came to this part of her body, and the victorious soldier

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEENTH.

 (In spite of my ill-humor, Lycas saw how well my golden curls became me and, becoming enamoured anew, began winking his wanton eyes at me and) sought

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND NINETEENTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIRST.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SECOND.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THIRD.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOURTH.

 When Eumolpus had, with great volubility, poured out this flood of words, we came at last to Crotona. Here we refreshed ourselves at a mean inn, but o

 VOLUME V.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIXTH.

 After a little more teasing, I requested the maid to conduct her mistress to a clump of plane trees. Pleased with this plan, the girl picked up the sk

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVENTH.

 Side by side upon the grassy plot we lay, exchanging a thousand kisses, the prelude to more poignant pleasure, (but alas! My sudden loss of vigor disa

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT.

 (The misfortune seemed to me a dream, but I imagined that I must surely be under a spell of enchantment and, for a long time, I was so devoid of stren

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTIETH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIRST.

 When she had made an end of this incantation she ordered me to spit three times, and three times to drop stones into my bosom, each stone she wrapped

 Fanning herself with a branch of flowering myrtle, she lay, stretched out with her marble neck resting upon a golden cushion. When she caught sight of

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SECOND.

 Raising myself upon my elbow I rebuked the shirker in some such terms as these: What have you to say for yourself, you disgrace to gods and men, I d

 When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively because I ha

 Nothing can be more insincere than the silly prejudices of mankind, and nothing sillier than the morality of bigotry,

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THIRD.

 While I was engaged in this diplomatic effort in behalf of the affected member, a hideous crone with disheveled hair, and clad in black garments which

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOURTH.

 She seated herself upon the other side of the bed and in quavering tones commenced to accuse the delays of old age. At last the priestess came in. Wh

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIFTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIXTH.

 By this time the two remaining geese had picked up the beans which had been scattered all over the floor and bereft, I suppose, of their leader, had g

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVENTH.

 Please don't make such a fuss, I said, I'll give you an ostrich in place of your goose! While she sat upon the cot and, to my stupefaction, bewail

 In the meantime, she scurried around and put a jar of wine under my hands and, when my fingers had all been spread out evenly, she purified them with

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHTH.

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINTH.

 (Tortured by these cares I spent the whole night in anxiety, and at dawn, Giton, who had found out that I had slept at home, entered the room and bitt

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTIETH.

 Every word of this is true, I insisted, and no one deserves to get into trouble more quickly than he who covets the goods of others! How could chea

 CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIRST.

 PROSTITUTION.

 PAEDERASTIA.

 CHAPTER 9. Gladiator obscene:--

 CHAPTER 17.

 CHAPTER 26.

 CHAPTER 34. Silver Skeleton, et seq.

 ALIAE. RESTITVTAE. ANIMAE. DVLCISSIMAE.

 In this inscription, it is almost impossible to translate the last three words. While we live, let us live, is inadequate, to say the least. So far

 CHAPTER 36.

 CHAPTER 40.

 CHAPTER 56. Contumelia--Contus and Melon (malum).

 The myth of Cydippe and Acontius is still another example, as is the legend of Atalanta and Hippomenes or Meilanion, to which Suetonius (Tiberius, cha

 CHAPTER 116.

 CHAPTER 116.

 Pliny the Elder, Historia Naturalis, lib. XIV, chap. i, writes in scathing terms against the infamous practice of paying assiduous court to old people

 CHAPTER 119. The rite of the Persians:

 CHAPTER 127.

 Another exquisite and illuminating passage occurs in Catullus, 51, given in Marchena's fourth note.

 CHAPTER 131.

 CHAPTER 131. Medio sustulit digito:

 See also Dio Chrysostom, xxxiii. Neither, says Lampridius, Life of Heliogabalus, was he given to demand infamies in words when he could indicate sh

 CHAPTER 138.

 THE CORDAX.

 This starveling snub-nosed dancer was old, repulsive, and nastily gay. Drops of sweat mixed with paint were trickling from his shaven forehead his w

 TO THE ARMY OF THE RHINE.

 I.

 Fighting men have in all times been distinguished on account of the beauty of their women. The charming fable of the loves of Venus and Mars, describe

 II.

 The profession of Quartilla corresponded to that which is followed by our ladies of the Palace Royal. This Palace Royal is a sort of Babylon, with thi

 III.

 One of the reasons which caused the learned and paradoxical Hardouin to assert that all the works which have been attributed to the ancients, with the

 'Tis said from smooth-faced ingle train

 The Christian religion strongly prohibits this love the theologians put it among the sins which directly offend against the Holy Ghost. I have not th

 IV.

 The theologians class this species of lascivious feeling with pollution which is complete when it produces a result. The Holy Scripture tells us of On

 In the minds of the theologians pollution is synonymous with all pleasures with persons of the opposite or the same sex, which result in a waste of th

 After that we should never again exhort the ministers and moralists to inveigh against love of women for women never was the interest of men found to

 V.

 All people have regarded virginity as something sacred, and God has so honored it that he willed that his son be born of a virgin, fecundated, however

 Christianity, most spiritual, most mystical of ancient religions, attempts to make out a great case for celibacy. Its founder never married, although

 VI.

 The question here has to do with a procurers or go-between. That profession has gradually fallen into discredit by I know not what fatality, which bef

CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEENTH.

Eumolpus, who had a deeper insight, turned this state of affairs over in his mind and declared that he was not displeased with a prospect of that kind. I thought the old fellow was joking in the care-free way of poets, until he complained, "If I could only put up a better front! I mean that I wish my clothing was in better taste, that my jewelry was more expensive; all this would lend color to my deception: I would not carry this scrip, by Hercules, I would not I would lead you all to great riches!" For my part, I undertook to supply whatever my companion in robbery had need of, provided he would be satisfied with the garment, and with whatever spoils the villa of Lycurgus had yielded when we robbed it; as for money against present needs, the Mother of the Gods would see to that, out of regard to her own good name! "Well, what's to prevent our putting on an extravaganza?" demanded Eumolpus. "Make me the master if the business appeals to you." No one ventured to condemn a scheme by which he could lose nothing, and so, that the lie would be kept safe among us all, we swore a solemn oath, the words of which were dictated by Eumolpus, to endure fire, chains, flogging, death by the sword, and whatever else Eumolpus might demand of us, just like regular gladiators! After the oath had been taken, we paid our respects to our master with pretended servility, and were informed that Eumolpus had lost a son, a young man of great eloquence and promise, and that it was for this reason the poor old man had left his native land that he might not see the companions and clients of his son, nor even his tomb, which was the cause of his daily tears. To this misfortune a recent shipwreck had been added, in which he had lost upwards of two millions of sesterces; not that he minded the loss but, destitute of a train of servants he could not keep up his proper dignity! Furthermore, he had, invested in Africa, thirty millions of sesterces in estates and bonds; such a horde of his slaves was scattered over the fields of Numidia that he could have even sacked Carthage! We demanded that Eumolpus cough frequently, to further this scheme, that he have trouble with his stomach and find fault with all the food when in company, that he keep talking of gold and silver and estates, the incomes from which were not what they should be, and of the everlasting unproductiveness of the soil; that he cast up his accounts daily, that he revise the terms of his will monthly, and, for fear any detail should be lacking to make the farce complete, he was to use the wrong names whenever he wished to summon any of us, so that it would be plain to all that the master had in mind some who were not present. When everything had been thus provided for, we offered a prayer to the gods "that the matter might turn out well and happily," and took to the road. But Giton could not bear up under his unaccustomed load, and the hired servant Corax, a shirker of work, often put down his own load and cursed our haste, swearing that he would either throw his packs away or run away with his load. "What do you take me for, a beast of burden?" he grumbled, "or a scow for carrying stone? I hired out to do the work of a man, not that of a pack-horse, and I'm as free as you are, even if my father did leave me poor!" Not satisfied with swearing, he lifted up his leg from time to time and filled the road with an obscene noise and a filthy stench. Giton laughed at his impudence and imitated every explosion with his lips, but Eumolpus relapsed into his usual vein, even in spite of this.