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soul of mockery. But in some copies it is written, "my loins." It is said that the seeds are formed around these. Therefore, whenever someone is drawn into licentiousness and hastens to be a lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God, he has his loins filled with mockery. 8 and there is no healing in my flesh. Insofar as I am filled with these mockeries, not only is my flesh not healthy, but being sick and in such a state, it does not receive healing. Just as it is impossible for one who is perceptibly sick, while still being in sickness, to regain health, so he who is filled with mockeries cannot make his flesh peaceful, that is, chaste, or not at odds with itself. 9 I was afflicted and was humbled exceedingly. He can speak of a voluntary affliction and humiliation. Since I became aware of the swelling of wickedness and of the harm and of the pride, I brought myself into humiliation by choice, so that I might be exalted; for "everyone who humbles himself will be exalted." One must take the affliction and the humiliation in parallel. Then it becomes voluntary when, as I said, that which was exalted humbles itself, so that it may be exalted by God. It is also possible thus: from the painful things and heavy burdens that surrounded me, "I was humbled, I was afflicted exceedingly." I had an intensified affliction. 9 I roared from the groaning of my heart. Not insincerely bewailing the evils that surrounded me, but "from the groaning of my heart"; understanding in what I must groan, I groaned. 265 10 And before you is all my desire. The righteous one always has love and longing for the virtues and for praiseworthy deeds. Indeed, it is said of the righteous one: "Every desire of the righteous is good." And good things have confidence to be before God. "Before you" therefore, that is, in your sight, is "all my desire." Therefore "my desire" must be taken here as praiseworthy, such as it is and concerning which this same one says: "Bless the Lord, O my soul, who fills your desire with good things." Therefore all such desires of the righteous one, being full of confidence, are before God. But it is also possible to take the word in the other meaning of desire. For this reason I was humbled and exceedingly bowed down, for this reason I lament and my groaning comes from soul and heart, since I knew that every wicked desire I had is manifest to you, no desire is outside your presence. But "before" is rather more fitting. 10 And my groaning was not hidden from you. Having a good desire and longing to be in good things and virtue, insofar as I see myself falling short, I groan. And this groaning comes from a desire for beauty, from the expectation of something better. Even if I often escape the notice of the many while groaning, so that I may not seem to be self-centered and to appear supposedly repentant, yet my groaning is before you, it was not hidden from you. For the Egyptians were oppressing the Hebrews. When "the sons of Israel" delighted in the Egyptian works, their groaning was hidden from the face of God. But when they began to groan over the works, when they perceived that the works of Pharaoh are degrading and earthly and rather make them outside of God, then they groaned, and the groaning was not hidden from God; for he immediately freed them. But when they took pleasure, they were held fast there, they did not attain freedom. This groaning is in accordance with "the sorrow that produces repentance to salvation." And this sorrow is different from that of the world, which produces death. For if you see a person groaning because he does not obtain what he desires, even if they are wicked things, this groaning is destructive. 11 My heart was troubled, my strength left me. When the heart is troubled, that is, the mind, then strength goes far away. The strength that is suitable for the peace and stability of the heart. The one who learned from Jesus "that
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ψυχὴ ἐνπαιγμάτων. κεῖται δὲ ἔν τισιν ἀντιγράφοις "αἱ ψόαι μου". λέγονται περὶ ταύτας συνίστασθαι τὰ σπέρματα. ὅταν τις τοίνυν ὑποσυρῇ εἰς ἀκολασίαν καὶ φιλήδονος μᾶλλον σπεύδῃ ἢ φιλόθεος εἶναι, τὰς ψόας ἐνπαιγμῶν ἔχει πεπλησμένας. 8 καὶ οὐκ ἔστιν ἴασις ἐν τῇ σαρκί μου. ὅσον εἰμὶ πεπληρωμένος τούτων τῶν ἐνπαιγμάτων, οὐ μόνον οὐχ ὑγιαίνει μου ἡ σάρξ, ἀλλὰ καὶ νοσήσασα οὕτω διακειμένη οὐ δέχεται ἴασιν. ὥσπερ ἀδύνατόν ἐστιν τὸν αἰσθ̣η̣τω῀̣ς νοσοῦντα ἔτι ἐν τῷ νοσεῖν ὄντα ὑγείαν ἀναλαβεῖν, οὕτως ὁ πληρωθεὶς ἐνπαιγμάτων οὐ δύναται εἰρηνεύουσαν ποιη´̣σασθαι τὴν σάρκα, τουτέστι̣ν σώφρονα, ἢ μὴ διαστασιάζουσα̣ν̣ πρὸς ἑαυτήν. 9 ἐκακώθην καὶ ἐταπεινώθην ἕως σφόδρα. δύναται κάκωσιν καὶ ταπείνωσιν ἑκούσιον λέγειν. ἐπεὶ ἐν αἰσθήσει γέγονα τοῦ ἐπάρματος τῆς κακίας καὶ τῆς βλάβης καὶ τοῦ τύφου, προαιρετικῶς εἰς ταπείνωσιν ἐμαυτὸν περιήγαγον, ἵνα ὑψωθῶ· "πᾶς" γὰρ "ὁ ταπεινῶν ἑαυτὸν ὑψωθήσεται". ε᾿̣κ παραλλήλου τὴν κάκωσιν δεῖ κ̣αὶ τὴν ταπείνωσιν λαβεῖν. τότε δὲ ἑκουσίως γίνεται, ὅταν, ὡς εἶπον, τὸ ὑψωθὲν ταπεινώσῃ ἑαυτόν, ἵν' ὑψω̣θῇ ὑπὸ τοῦ θεοῦ. δυνατὸν καὶ οὕτως· ἐκ τῶν περιεστηκότων ἐπιπόνων καὶ φορτίων β̣αρέων "ἐταπεινώθην, ἐκακώθην ἕως σφόδρα". ἐπιτεταμένην ἔσχον τὴν κάκωσιν. 9 ὠρυόμην ἀπὸ στεναγμοῦ τῆς καρδίας μου. οὐκ ἐπιπλάστως ἀποκλαιόμενος τὰ κακὰ τὰ περιεστηκότα μοι, ἀλλὰ "ἀπὸ στεναγμοῦ τῆς καρδίας μου"· νοῶν ἐν τίνι στένειν δεῖ, ἔστενον. 265 10 καὶ ἐναντίον σου πᾶσα ἡ ἐπιθυμία μου. ὁ δίκαιος ἔρωτα καὶ πόθον ἔχει ἀεὶ τῶν ἀρετῶν καὶ τῶν ἐπαινετῶς πραττομένων. λέγεται γοῦν περὶ τοῦ δικαίου· "ἐπιθυμία δικαίου πᾶσα ἀγαθή". τὰ δὲ ἀγαθὰ παρρησίαν ἔχει ἐπίπροσθεν εἶναι θεοῦ. "ἐναντίον σου" οὖν, τουτέστιν ἔνπροσθέν σου, ἐστὶν "πᾶσα ἡ ἐπιθυμία μου". ἐπαινετὴν οὖν ἐνταῦθα λημπτέον "τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν μ̣ου", οἵα ἐστὶν καὶ περὶ ἧς αὐτὸς οὗτος λέγει· "εὐλόγει, ἡ ψυχή μου, τὸν κύριον, τὸν ἐνπιμπλῶντα ἐν ἀγαθοῖς τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν σου". αἱ τοιαῦται οὖν ἐπιθυμίαι πᾶσαι τοῦ δικαίου εὐπαρρησίαστοι οὖσαι ἐπίπροσθέν εἰσιν θεοῦ. δυνατὸν δὲ καὶ εἰς τὸ ἕτερον σημαινόμενον τῆς ἐπιθυμίας ἐκλαβεῖν τὴν λέξιν. διὰ τοῦτο ἐταπεινώθην καὶ ἕως σφόδρα κατεκάμφθην, διὰ τοῦτο ὀλοφύρομαι καὶ ὁ στεναγμός μου ἀπὸ ψυχῆς καὶ καρδίας γίνεται, ἐπεὶ ἔγνων, ὅτι πᾶσα̣ ἐπιθυμία ἣν ἔσχον φαύλην, φανερά σοί ἐστιν, οὐδεμία ἐπιθυμία ἔξω τοῦ προσώπου σού ἐστιν. τὸ δὲ "ἔνπροσθεν" εὐπρεπέστερόν ἐστιν μᾶλλον. 10 καὶ ὁ στεναγμός μου ἀπὸ σοῦ οὐκ ἀπεκρύβη. ἐπιθυμίαν ἀγαθὴν ἔχων καὶ ποθῶν εἶναι ἐν ἀγαθοῖς καὶ ἀρετῇ ὅσον ὁρῶ ἐμαυτὸν ἀπολειπόμενον, στενάζω. ὁ στεναγμὸς δὲ οὗτος ἀπὸ ἐπιθυμίας κάλλους γίνεται, ἀπὸ προσδοκίας ἀμείνονος. εἰ καὶ τοὺς πολλοὺς πολλάκις λανθάνω στενάζων, ὅπως μὴ δοκῶ περιαυτίζεσθαι καὶ δῆθεν μετανοῶν φαίνεσθαι, ἀλλ' ἐπίπροσθεν σοῦ ἐστιν ὁ στεναγμός μου, οὐκ ἀπεκρύβη ἀπὸ σοῦ. οἱ Αἰγύπτιοι γοῦν κατεπόνουν τοὺς Ἑβραίους. ὅτε ἥδοντο ἐπὶ τοῖς Αἰγυπτίοις ἔργοις "οἱ υἱοὶ Ἰσραήλ", κέκρυπτο ὁ στεναγμὸς αὐτῶν ἀπὸ προσώπου τοῦ θεοῦ. ὅτε δὲ ἤρξαντο στενάζειν ἐπὶ τοῖς ἔργοις, ὅτε αἴσθη̣σιν ἔλαβον τῶν Φαραωτικῶν ἔργων ὅτι κατασπῶντά εἰσιν καὶ γήινα καὶ μᾶλλον ἔξω τοῦ θεοῦ ποιο̣ῦν̣τα, τότε ἐστέναξαν, καὶ οὐκ ἐκρύβη ὁ στεναγμὸς ἀπὸ τοῦ θεοῦ· εὐθέως γὰρ αὐτοὺς ἐλευθέρωσεν. ὅτε δὲ ἥδοντο, ἐκρατοῦντο ἐκεῖ, ἐλευθερίας οὐκ ἐτύγχανον. ὁ στεναγμὸς οὗτος καταλλήλως ἔχει "τῇ λύπῃ τῇ μετάνοιαν εἰς σωτηρίαν κατεργαζομένῃ". ἄλλη δέ ἐστιν αὕτη ἡ λύπη παρὰ τὴν τοῦ κόσμου, ἥτις θάνατον κατεργάζεται. ἐὰν γοῦν ἴδῃς ἄνθρωπον στενάζοντα ὅτι μὴ τυγχάνει ὧν ἐπιθυμεῖ, κἂν φαῦλα ὦσιν, ὁ στεναγμὸς οὗτος ὀλέθριός ἐστιν. 11 ἡ καρδία μου ἐταράχθη, ἐνκατέλιπέν με ἡ ἰσχύς μου. ὅτε ταράττεται ἡ καρδία, τουτέστιν ὁ νοῦς, τότε ἡ ἰσ χὺς μακρὰν γίνεται. ἡ ἰσχὺς δὲ ἡ κατάλληλος τῇ εἰρήνῃ καὶ τῇ εὐσταθείᾳ τῆς καρδίας. ὁ μαθὼν παρὰ Ἰησοῦ "ὅτι