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you sprinkled me even more with the waters and granted me to see more clearly and to have more light.

And having done this for a long time, you counted me worthy to see a fearful thing and a mystery. For as you came and seemed to wash me with the waters and sprinkle me and often immerse me in them, I beheld the flashes of lightning that shone round about me and the rays of your face mingled with the waters, and I was amazed, seeing myself being washed with light-like water. (454) And from where or who was the provider of this, I did not know, but only being washed I rejoiced, growing in faith, winged with hope and ascending to heaven, but those deceivers, who suggested to me the words of deceit and falsehood, I hated intensely and pitied their error, and I did not come together with them at all for a meeting or conversation, but I even fled the harm of their sight; but my fellow-worker and helper, I mean your holy disciple and apostle, as you yourself who created me, I revered, I honored, I loved from the soul, falling at his feet night and day and beseeching him, “If you can do anything, help me,” having the full assurance that whatever he wishes, he is able to do with you.

So then, having continued for a considerable time in your grace, I saw again another fearful mystery. For having taken me, ascending into the heavens, you led me up with you, whether in the body, I do not know, or out of the body, you alone know, who also did this. But indeed, having spent an hour there with you, and at the magnitude of the glory—of what or of whom I know not—being astounded and amazed at the immeasurable height, I shuddered all over. But again you left me alone on earth, where I was also standing before, and I was found lamenting and amazed at my wretchedness. Then, not long after I was below, above in the heavens, as they were opened, you deemed me worthy to show me your face, like a formless sun. And whoever you were, not even so did you grant me to know—for how could I, since you did not speak to me? But you immediately hid yourself, and I went about seeking you, whom I did not know, and I longed to see your form and to know knowably (455) who you were. Therefore, from the great force and the fire of your love, I was always weeping, not knowing who you yourself are, who brought me from non-being into being and brought me out of the mire and for whom all the things that have been mentioned happened to me.

As therefore you appeared again many times in this way and many times again without speaking you hid from me, not being seen at all, but seeing the flashes of lightning and the radiance of your face, just as before in the waters, again and many times encircling me, and being utterly unable to grasp them, I remembered where I had once seen you above, and foolishly supposing you to be another, I again sought with tears to see you. So then, pressing myself in much grief and affliction and anguish, and forgetting myself and the whole world entirely and the things in the world, and not perceiving a shadow, nor anything, or that what was seen is anything at all, you yourself, the one invisible to all, the intangible and ungraspable, shone forth and seemed to me to be purifying my mind and widening the vision of my soul and granting me to see your glory more and more, and as you yourself increased and, shining more, grew wider, and by the retreat of the darkness I perceived you yourself approaching and coming, just as we often experience also in sensible things. For when the moon is shining and the clouds are as it were walking about, the moon is seen and seems to run very swiftly, adding nothing to its usual course or altering its original path. So then, Master, you, the immovable, seemed to come, and the unchangeable to grow larger, and the formless to take form.

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πλέον κἀμέ περιήντλεις τοῖς ὕδασι καί καθαρώτερον ὁρᾶν καί πλέον φῶς ἐχαρίζω μοι.

Τοῦτο δέ ἐγχρονίσας ποιῶν, φρικτόν με πρᾶγμα καί μυστήριον ἰδεῖν κατηξίωσας. Σοῦ γάρ παραγινομένου καί τῷ δοκεῖν με τοῖς ὕδασι πλύνοντος καί περιαντλοῦντος καί ἐν αὐτοῖς πολλάκις ἐμβάπτοντος, τάς ἀστραπάς τάς περιλαμπούσας με καί τάς ἀκτῖνας τοῦ προσώπου σου ἀναμιγείσας ἐθεασάμην τοῖς ὕδασι καί ἐξέστην, ὁρῶν φωτοειδεῖ με ὕδατι ἐκπλυνόμενον. (454) Καί ποῦ ποθεν ἦν τίς ὁ τούτου πάροχος, οὐκ ἐγίνωσκον, μόνον δέ λουόμενος ἔχαιρον τῇ πίστει αὐξάνων, τῇ ἐλπίδι πτερούμενος καί ἕως οὐρανοῦ ἀνερχόμενος, τούς δέ πλάνους ἐκείνους, τούς τά ῥήματα τῆς ἀπάτης καί τοῦ ψεύδους ὑποτιθεμένους μοι, σφόδρα μισῶν καί τῆς πλάνης κατελεῶν, οὐδέ πρός συντυχίαν ἤ ὁμιλίαν ὅλως αὐτοῖς συνηρχόμην, ἀλλά καί τῆς θέας αὐτῶν τήν βλάβην ἐξέφευγον, τόν δέ συνεργόν καί βοηθόν μου, τόν ἅγιόν σου λέγω μαθητήν καί ἀπόστολον, ὡς αὐτόν σέ τόν ἐμέ πλάσαντα, ἐσεβόμην, ἐτίμων, ἠγάπων ἀπό ψυχῆς, προσπίπτων αὐτοῦ τοῖς ποσί νυκτός καί ἡμέρας καί "Εἴ τι δύνασαι, βοήθει μοι" αὐτόν ἐξαιτούμενος, πληροφορίας ἔχων ὅτι ὅσα καί βούλεται, δύναται παρά σοί.

Οὕτως οὖν ἐφ᾿ ἱκανόν χρόνον τῇ χάριτί σου διατελῶν, ἄλλο πάλιν εἶδον φρικτόν μυστήριον. Λαβόμενος γάρ με, εἰς οὐρανούς ἀνελθών, συνανήγαγες, εἴτε ἐν σώματι, οὐκ οἶδα, εἴτε ἐκτός τοῦ σώματος, σύ μόνον οἶδας, ὁ καί τοῦτο ποιήσας. Ἀλλά γάρ ὥραν ἐκεῖσε μετά σοῦ με ποιήσαντα, καί τῆς δόξης - τίνος δέ ἀγνοῶ καί οὗτινος - τό μέγεθος, ἐκπλαγείς καί τῷ ἀμετρήτῳ ὕψει ἐκθαμβηθείς, ὅλος ἔφριξα. Πάλιν δέ με μόνον ἀφῆκας ἐν γῇ, ἐν ᾗ καί ἱστάμην τό πρότερον, καί εὑρέθην θρηνῶν καί τήν παλαιπωρίαν μου ἐκθαμβούμενος. Εἶτα κάτω μετ᾿ οὐ πολύ ὄντος μου, ἄνω εἰς οὐρανούς, διανοιχθέντων αὐτῶν, τό πρόσωπόν σου, ὡς ἥλιον ἄμορφον, κατηξιώσας ὑποδεῖξαί μοι. Καί ὅστις ποτέ ᾖς, οὐδ᾿ οὕτω μοι γνῶναι δέδωκας - πῶς γάρ, μή λαλήσας μοι; ἀλλ᾿ ἐκρύβης εὐθύς κἀγώ περιῄν ζητῶν σε, ὅν οὐκ ἐγίνωσκον, καί μορφήν σου ἰδεῖν καί γνωστῶς γνῶναι (455) ὅστις ᾖς ἐπεπόθουν. ∆ιό καί ἀπό τῆς πολλῆς βίας καί τοῦ πυρός τῆς ἀγάπης σου διαπαντός ἔκλαιον, μή εἰδώς αὐτόν σέ ὅστις εἶ, τόν ἐκ τοῦ μή ὄντος εἰς τό εἶναι παραγαγόντα με καί ἐκ τοῦ βορβόρου ἐξαγαγόντα καί τά εἰρημένα ἅπαντα γεγονότα μοι.

Ὡς οὖν οὕτω πάλιν πολλάκις ὤφθης καί πολλάκις πάλιν μή λαλήσας ἐκρύβης μοι μηδόλως ὁρώμενος, τάς ἀστραπάς δέ καί τήν αἴγλην τήν τοῦ προσώπου σου ὁρῶν, ὥσπερ πρότερον ἐν τοῖς ὕδασι, πάλιν καί πολλάκις περικυκλούσας με, κρατεῖν δέ ταύτας ὅλως ἀμηχανῶν, ἐμιμνησκόμην ὅπου ποτέ ἄνω εἶδόν σε, καί ἄλλον εἶναι ἀφρόνως ὑπονοούμενος πάλιν ἐζήτουν μετά δακρύων ἰδέσθαι σε. Οὕτως οὖν ἐν πολλῇ λύπῃ καί θλίψει καί στενοχωρίᾳ ἐμαυτόν ἐκπιέζων καί ἐμαυτοῦ ἐπιλανθανόμενος καί ὅλου ὅλως τοῦ κόσμου καί τῶν ἐν κόσμῳ, καί μηδέ σκιάν, μηδέ ὁτιοῦν ἤ ὅτι ἐστί τί ποτε τό ὁρώμενον ἐννοῶν, αὐτός ὁ πάσιν ἀόρατος, ὁ ἀναφής καί ἄληπτος, ἔφανας καί ἐδόκεις μοι τόν ἐμόν νοῦν καθαίρων καί πλατύνων τό τῆς ψυχῆς ὀπτικόν καί ἐπί πλεῖον παρέχων ὁρᾶν τήν δόξαν σου, καί ὅτι μᾶλλον αὐξάνεις αὐτός καί λάμπων πλέον πλατύνῃ, καί τῇ τοῦ σκότους ὑποχωρήσει αὐτόν σε πλησιάζοντα καί ἐρχόμενον κατεμάνθανον, καθά πολλάκις καί ἐν τοῖς αἰσθητοῖς πάσχομεν. Σελήνης γάρ φαινούσης καί περιπατούντων οἱονεί τῶν νεφῶν, ἡ σελήνη ὁρᾶται καί δοκεῖ τρέχειν ταχύτατα, μηδέν τῷ συνήθει προστιθεῖσα δρόμῳ ἤ τήν ἐξ ἀρχῆς ὑπαλλάσσουσα πορείαν. Οὕτως οὖν, ∆έσποτα, ἐδόκεις ἔρχεσθαι ὁ ἀκίνητος καί ὁ ἀναλλοίωτος μεγεθύνεσθαι καί μορφοῦσθαι ὁ ἄμορφος.