191

But also seeing you, the good Master, present with my guide and father, I had an ineffable love and longing, and I was beyond faith and hope and: ‘Behold, I see the things to come,’ I said, ‘and the kingdom of the heavens is present, and the good things which eye has not seen, ear has not heard, I see before my eyes, having them, and what more shall I hope for, or in what other things shall I show my faith?’ For there will be nothing else greater than these. While I was in these things and delighting in them, you took my father from the earth, alas, you removed my guide from my eyes, O lover of mankind, and left me alone, utterly orphaned, utterly solitary, utterly helpless from all sides, and over the flock, alas, as a leader and shepherd, me who am a truly unprotected stranger you yourself have appointed by the judgments that you know. (288) Therefore now I supplicate you, now I beg you, I implore you falling at your feet: do not turn away, do not abandon me, nor leave me, O my Master, alone! You know the difficult course of the road, you know the madness of the robbers against us, you know the multitude of the evil beasts, you know my weakness, my Christ, and the ignorance which I have as a man. Yet I do not seem to be a man at all, but to fall far short of men; for in all things I am the last of all and truly the least of all men. Pour out upon me, my king and my God, your mercy, I beg, your great mercy, so that it may fill up my shortcomings, Savior, and my deficiencies and make me a whole man lacking in none of the necessities and so may set me before you, O Word, your uncondemned, blameless servant, praising you unto ages of ages,

191

Ἀλλά καί βλέπων σε, τόν καλόν ∆εσπότην, τῷ ὁδηγῷ μου καί πατρί συμπαρόντα ἄφραστον εἶχον ἀγάπην τε καί πόθον, ὑπέρ πίστιν τε καί ἐλπίδα ὑπῆρχον καί˙ Ἰδού, ὁρῶ τά μέλλοντα, ἔλεγον, καί τῶν οὐρανῶν πάρεστι βασιλεία καί τά ἀγαθά ἅ ὀφθαλμός οὐκ εἶδεν, οὖς οὐκ ἤκουσε, πρό ὀφθαλμῶν μου βλέπω, ἔχων τε αὐτά καί τί πλέον ἐλπίσω, ἤ τήν πίστιν μου ἐν ἄλλοις ποίοις δείξω; Μεῖζον γάρ ἄλλο ὑπέρ ταῦτα οὐκ ἔσται. Ἐν τούτοις ὄντος καί τούτοις ἐντρυφῶντος ἔλαβες ἐκ γῆς τόν πατέρα μου, οἴμοι, ἦρας ὁδηγόν ἐμόν ἐξ ὀφθαλμῶν μου, ὦ φιλάνθρωπε, καί κατέλιπας μόνον, πάντως ὀρφανόν, πάντως μεμονωμένον, πάντως ἐκ πάντων ἀβοήθητον ὄντα, καί ποίμνης, οἴμοι, προστάτην καί ποιμένα, τόν ὡς ἀληθῶς ἀπροστάτευον ξένον ἔστησας αὐτός τοῖς κρίμασιν, οἷς οἶδας. (288) ∆ιά τοῦτο σέ ἄρτι καθικετεύω, ἄρτι δέομαι, ἀντιβολῶ προσπίπτων˙ μή ἀποστραφῇς, μή με ἐγκαταλίπῃς μηδέ ἀφῇς με, ὦ ∆έσποτά μου, μόνον! Οἶδας τῆς ὁδοῦ τήν δύσβατον πορείαν, οἶδας τῶν λῃστῶν τήν καθ᾿ ἡμῶν μανίαν, οἶδας τήν πληθύν τῶν πονηρῶν θηρίων, οἶδας τήν ἐμήν ἀσθένειαν, Χριστέ μου, καί τήν ἄγνοιαν, ἥν ὡς ἄνθρωπος ἔχω. Πλήν οὐδ᾿ ἄνθρωπος ὅλως δοκῶ ὑπάρχειν, ἀλλά ἀνθρώπων πολύ ἀπολιμπάνειν˙ κατά πάντα γάρ πάντων ἔσχατος πέλω καί ἐλάχιστός εἰμι ὄντως ἀνθρώπων πάντων. Ἐπίχεέ μοι, βασιλεῦ καί Θεέ μου, τό ἔλεός σου, ἐξαιτοῦμια, τό μέγα, ἵνα τά ἐμά ὑστερήματα, Σῶτερ, καί ἐλλείματα τοῦτο ἀναπληρώσῃ καί σῶον ὅλον ἄνθρωπόν με ποιήσῃ ὑστερούμενον οὐδέν τῶν ἀναγκαίων καί οὕτω στήσῃ ἐνώπιόν σου, Λόγε, ἀκατάκριτον, ἄμεμπτόν με σόν δοῦλον, ἀνυμνοῦντά σε εἰς αἰῶνας αἰώνων,